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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I've known this guy for about 3 and a half years, I used to be very depressed and he acted as a consular and helped me. We both started to really like each other but we didn't wanna date because we love 5 hours away so we agreed to date other people but nothing serious. We go to the same camp ground so I see him a couple times a year. Around October he calls Me crying saying his gf is pregnant (he's a virgin so she cheated on him) but his parents and hers made them get married....we tried so much to stop it but it was a fail. So he joined the army to be able to pay for and in hopes his new wife will get bored while he is gone and leave him. He is telling me that he knows we will be together some day but it all is just so hard.....what do I do :/ gone
No one can make you or your male friend do anything you don't want to do. Somewhere along the line he learned to give away the rights to live his life for himself and gave it away to others namely his and the other set of parents.
If no one was holding a knife to him or shotgun and promising to kill him if he didn't sign a marriage certificate then he was not being forced to the point of life or death.
Perhaps he feared more being disowned by his parents because they chose to believe what they choose.
You did not mention if any paternity test was done.
CVS is done at 10-13 wks so 2 1/2 - 3 mos along. Amniocentesis is at 4 and 5 mos
If he was thinking, he would've said he wanted to wait until he could be proven father or not at 10 weeks. But when blind-sided by something like that and him grieving the news she carried someone elses kid, he wasnt thinking straight. If a test was done...they had no ground to stand on to harass him to marry. What in that case made him cave in to their demands?
Whats done is done. So he's run away once he was upset with his situation. If she does not leave him, there she'll be and there he is stuck living under the same roof with her. Actually, whats worse is that the Armed services takes seriously a dads job to support his kid...so if he's married and gets divorced while in service, they will make sure the wife or ex gets child support no matter if it was his kid or not just because they were married is good enough. They will assume he had a chance to prove he wasnt dad by paternity test so if he entered the marriage willingly, he's responsible. He'd have to check if any of the rules have changed but it happened in my family 5 yrs ago and he was stuck having to pay.
His life when he comes back therefore is going to continue to be a Soap Opera for quite some time. He is going to have to grow the balls to stand up for himself and not let someone push him around in the future. He may and he may not.
I understand how you feel about him...but you have to look at what issues are not going to just go away and can you handle that being with him.
I have this guy friend "alex" and we just recently started talking more. He asked me to dinner, but because of our working/school schedules its a little hard to make an exact date, well last week we ended up hanging out together with a few other friends, and after our friends went home he took me to eat dinner and we watched a movie in his car at a school parking lot. he taught me to waltz in the middle of the parking lot around midnight (seriously like something you would see in a movie) then a couple days later he asked if I wanted to hangout after work. so I went to his house and we just sat around watched tv, talked, and danced a little more. and hell ask every now and then if I want to talk on the phone before bed. and we end up talking for a couple hours before actually hanging up. he tells me all this corny stuff like flirting kind of, and makes fun of my height cause hes taller then me. he acts like hes interested, he even asked my best friend if I date. well the other day I was asking him to hangout with me and a few of our friends today, and he said if he didn't have work he would, but we should hangout before then, so we made a plan to hangout after I got out of work, but 30 mins before I got out he texted me and canceled cause he had his daughter, then today he ended up having to work, so he asked if I wanted to hangout after he got off for a little bit cause he has to be up really early for college. but when he got off he texted me and said nevermind for tonight cause its late and he needs to be up early, and we can hangout some other time. im just confused on why he acts interested and says all the sweet things to me, and acts likea gentleman but the last couple times he asked me to hangout he canceled at the last minute.
If I were you I'd be disappointed. And I agree, that night sounds like a scene from a movie.
My 2nd husband and I talked daily for hours, I know how that goes when theres such a great connection. But after we met a handful of times, neither of us could bear to be apart. Problem: he worked awful long hours 12-13 hrs gone so we moved in together to have the last bit of time together.
You already said from the start that between his and your work and school schedules that its really difficult to find times you're free to get together.
If school is that important to both of you, then consideration towards using evenings for study or to rest for the school day ahead is going to take priority over a relationship. I believe he is really interested its just that there is plain and simply no time in your schedules to get together or if there are snippets of time occasionally, it may not be satisfying enough for you and cause you to feel resentment for not coming first when there's nothing that can be done with your current schedules.
You both will just need to be patient and try make the best of it if its worth waiting for the other. Or if you at some point become serious enough as a couple, you could discuss doing different school schedules if possible like taking less classes. Best wishes to you dear
Hi there! I am a sophomore in high school and have a guy friend (let's call him K) that I've known since 7th grade. We didn't become good friends until last year, and this year we've become pretty close because we are involved in a lot of the same things.
I didn't think of him as anything more than a friend until this year. I thought I may have caught him very subtly flirting with me (he's pretty shy), and since I really liked him as a friend I started to try and see if I could see us together. I couldn't at first. But then, when my friend and I noticed him talking to this girl, we thought they would be really cute together, and kept talking about it/jokingly scheming on how to get those two together. Well, in the process, I started feeling a tiny bit jealous. It turns out he and the other girl really were just friends.
Then we started talking more as we got to know each other better through our school activities.
Now we text almost daily, usually about school stuff, but then it turns into chat. I think something is definitely there. Our eyes meet a lot, we joke around, and already have countless inside jokes. I'm really attracted to his smile and his blue eyes. :) I don't think he is "hot," in the conventional use of the word, but I am attracted to him. In addition, he's really smart, passionate, kind to everyone, a little shy, but pretty funny and easy to talk to. I told my best friend today that I kind of liked him and she got very excited and said we would be so cute. There is definitely something there. Today, I noticed him go out of his way to walk me to my car, telling everyone he needed to go that way too, but then he turned around.. :)
My concerns for our potential relationship are our friendship and our mutual friendships with others. We are both on a co-ed sports team with only 10 people who are all very close, so I'm concerned that dating him (and especially if it should end) might be awkward. He also asked one of my friends out on a date last year (she said no because she doesn't want to date in high school, although they remain very close friends), so there is another potential source of awkwardness. Another reason this concerns me is his formality in wanting to go out to restaurants and things on dates, which I have never really done before. Though the idea of a more mature relationship excites me, I'm also worried one of us will be uncomfortable or not know what to say or how to act. I'm also friends with his younger brother, I know his mom and dad from the sports events, and we have lots of mutual friends. While this might be a good thing, I am worried it could turn awkward.
I'm also not entirely sure if I even really like him or if my feelings stemmed from picturing us together, because the feelings I have are more sweet rather than a fiery crush.
Sorry this is long. Props to you if you really read it! I think writing it out has helped me at least a little bit in figuring it all out.
Basically, K and I have something going. I think our personalities mesh very well, and our chemistry is awesome. I see him as a great potential boyfriend, but am uncertain about getting over the uncomfortableness stage with him. What do you think? Do you think we are relationship material, or better off as friends? Is there anything I should say or do if we do end up dating, or if it should happen that I need to turn him down?
Thanks for your help!
Thankyou for taking the time to put your thoughts out in detail. Most people give us very little to go on. Plus as you said, it helped you to sort things out. I have experienced much the same when writing things out, getting most the answers myself.
Being part of a 10 person close knit team who are more likely to know the nitty gritty of any members life, is going to happen sometime somewhere in life or at some point in time you will be facing a feeling of awkwardness. Those things happen. That awkward feeling isn't something to fear, it's like a blinking light saying, "here is an opportunity to learn something about yourself and grow as a person.
Things to learn to grow past are feeling awkward because you fear what others might be thinking of you. Dont leave em to think and wonder, or wait for them to ask, just tell them that you are in the dating process to learn who is the best match for you and what you like in a guy...you and K are still good friends but have agreed you dont have enough of a spark to be dating material." You will be looked at more as very knowledgable rather than a girl who callously broke up with a guy she dated on the team. Maybe its none of their business, but if doing this makes you more comfortable you end up benefiting and learning how to not care so much what others think but follow your heart and inner voice.
The only other big reason for feeling awkward is HOW you decided to part as a dating couple. One or the other just saying i dont want to date you anymore, i am breaking this off is going to cause plenty awkwardness because there are unanswered questions in one persons mind as to why. Consider each others feelings. If there is no romantic spark that developed or grows stronger, but you still have great connecting as friends, don't throw the friendship away. Agree to keep in touch and remain friends and that this was a good learning experience for both of you, not a failure at something. Agree to back away and give each other more space as you find a new person to date so not to cause feelings of jealousy in the new partner until they know you are no threat. If worst case, you and K had a talk like this while on the team and broke up, the two of you would not feel awkward being in close proximity to each other alot. Others will notice too and ask if you really did or did not break up. They will be confused so you may need to explain and again hey will learn something they may be able to use themselves some day.
The rest you've figured out. The wee bit jealous feeling pointed out that indeed you did like him. (HInt: you were hearing that from your subconscious mind. So when not sure again about something, ask her, your subconscious how she feels.) That there is a great enough draw, mutual attraction and things in commom that you know there's something between you.
Enjoy the experience hon.
My sister, who we'll call Morgan, is engaged to a guy who we'll call Mitchell. They've been dating since August of 2011 and in July of 2012, she told me she was certain she wanted to marry him. She always talked like you shouldn't think about marrying someone until you've been dating them for at least a couple years.
Before Mitchell, she dated a guy who we'll call Jordan for four years. When he dumped her, she was heart broken and took until she started dating Mitchell before she quit talking about being in love with him. My family and I hated Jordan and thought he was a hopeless, needy, obnoxious, controlling, free loading party boy, which Morgan says she sees now, but sometimes it seems like she's just trying to talk herself out of being in love with him.
There are certain things that I've taken as signs of her being in love with Jordan. For example, when they were dating, somehow she, my mom, and I got on the subject of baby names and she said that her favorite boy name was Hudson. A short time later, a group of us, including Morgan and Jordan were talking and Jordan claimed to have the greatest baby name ever, which was Hudson. I knew he came up with it because she has no identity of her own. She doesn't know how to choose something for herself, so it had to have been his idea. Since they broke up, she still loves the name Hudson and hasn't gotten to like her fiancee's favorite names, which may mean nothing, but she hasn't done anything like that before. Other than Hudson and one family name, it seems like she changes her favorite names every time she talks about them and always has.
Also, when Jordan's name came up the other day at lunch, she got really mad and stopped talking for the rest of the meal. Then, she started yelling at whoever brought his name up just for mentioning him. I can't imagine being like that about an ex boyfriend who I no longer had feelings for, especially if I was engaged.
Another thing that makes me feel that she's getting married for the wrong reasons is that Jordan and almost all of her friends are either married or getting married sometime soon. I'm worried she just wants to show Jordan that she's moved on and found someone to marry too, as well as that she doesn't want to be the last of her friends to get married. I think she's worried that she's getting too old not to be married and that she's always been way more in love with the thought of being in love and having a wedding than with the actual guy she chose to marry.
I don't really like Mitchell that much either. He's okay, but he seems to want her to do everything he wants to do rather than to come up with a compromise. Like I said, she has no identity so she'll do it, but will later resent him for it if their marriage fails. Then she'll be unhappy with the way her life turned out.
I'm worried she's going to screw up her life, or that one say I'll have a bunch of nieces and nephews who came from a broken home and act like my cousin who's from that kind of home. She got pregnant in college and wants another baby, but refuses to get married out of her anger at her parents failed marriage. Her dad is the kind of dad I imagine Mitcheel being if he and Morgan get divorced. One who's more interested in his step kids than his real ones.
What should I do?
It is hard to watch a family member floundering around in their life and not seeming to progress anywhere. You could talk to all the expert psychologists and read their books and try to point out some things to your sister, but unless she is ready to change the direction of her life, and learn who she really is first and get to know her self and become a strong individual, she is not going to respond. She can nod her head and agree but she must take action or its in one ear and out the other.
know that her subconscious or Inner child where all our emotions come from is what seems affected by anger, hurt and feeling a blow to her self image from Jordan. There is too much to instruct her and teach for her to begin to even participate in her own healing. Looking into a counselor would be best for her.
We can not make a person take a better choice, choose the right path just as our Creator does not force you nor i to do the same. All you can focus on is learning and growing for yourself right now so that if and when Morgan's life crashes and burns and she finally has hit bottom and is looking for the direction back up, you can point the way. I am so sorry honey. This does not sound like any help at all because really there isnt much that can be shown to her right now unless she is asking for help to get over being so sensitive to hearing Jordans name. She isnt even questioning herself as far as i know. If she does seem to be asking for answers, suggest a counselor or self help book on getting over an old relationship. There are self help books for almost anything...ask a book store clerk.
You my dear, focus on how to hear from your higher self better, its where all the answers and guidance you need in life comes from. It sounds the same as your conscience talking to you, a feeling, impression and as you get better at it, actually whole sentences. You might want to learn to know when your subconscious is troubled by something so you can head off problems before they escalate to what your sis is gong through. Get to really know yourself and someday you'll be able to show your sister how to do the same.
Well, I have a few social problems I'd like some tips on. See, I'm a very shy girl (21 years), I can handle making small talk but only if the other person initiates it, and I'm lacking in any real friends, managed to make a few friends but none who I'd call and say let's go out or whatever. In short, i just have no confidence. However, my boyfriend is the opposite, he'll go out and make several new friends straight away, everyone knows him and he isnt keen on taking me out with him anymore because all I do is stay by his side as opposed to doing my own thing as his ex did.
So, can you give me advice on how to approach a total stranger and make conversation with them? to feel confident in myself to do that and any little advice tips on how to not use my boyfriend as a lifeline per say, so I want him to be able to take me out and then not worry or not have his friends telling him he's left me by myself for a bit too long and I'm just looking lonely. Thanks :)
Overcome Shyness
I used to be so shy I wouldn't get up to use the pencil sharpener in grade school because I didn't want the other kids to stare at me. I refused to do book reports for fear of speaking in front of the class. So my grades would suffer. In contrast, my dad was a very friendly extroverted person and always bringing home new friends he had made. The kids liked it cus these “uncles” would bring candy for the kids and many had accents from around the world with lots of interesting stories too.
It took until I was about 16 before I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy. I didn't have the guts to just switch behavior and start talking. Strange how I never thought to talk to my dad about that and get help from him. So I prayed and asked God for help (He knows each of us better than anyone )
and here's the answers I got. It sure helped me and I know it will help you. You can skip any steps you already have mastered.
None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there For this exercise, you will have to drop the teaching, “Never talk to strangers”. Just use common sense and talk to people in public places where other people are around and don't go off alone with anyone. So here's your lesson.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pulling off the rack something that looks absolutely hideous and showing it to her, "Look at this. Can you imagine people wanting to wear this. It would make them look like a......" Or "Even though I am small, I have a hard time finding things in my size, do you have the same problems? Keep trying like to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending.
This should help you. Good luck dear
i am 15/f. on 6th feb 2012, he proposed me. we had been besties and then when he proposed...i still remember the happiness...i have never been so happy in my life.and the best part was he liked what i did and understood before i said things...he knew me completely. more to say i never thought he was human, i thought he could read me. i was so overwhelmed by him. every thing about him. i was his first and he is my first love. till i left that town and shifted...we still shared the same love until one day he cut all contacts without any fight or anything . i later came to know that his father had forcefully taken away all his COMMUNICATION FACTORS. but slowly, as i eagerly waited for him, i heard he didnot miss me, jokes around and flirts in school,he does hav a cell which he lends to girls and uses to call his new gf ...and so on including a few instances where he abused me indirectly . i must mention that all these were from sources and not him. what he texted himself was..." I CAN NOT LOVE you ANYMORE. I HAVE GF HERE". so....i tried to kill myself
then this guy whom i had rejected once called me up and he was all the mental strength i needed at that time to recover and want to live again. i have to mention that he is not at all like me in any way . he is quite repulsive and difficult for me to understand. but i didnot ditch him coz i didnot want to hurt him and slowly i fell for him. atleast i thought i did. but yes, i admit that it was not so overwhelming and special and i never felt the same as my first love. it was more of formal love...something that i was doing rather than it being happening on itself. i hope the difference is clear. but we fought a 1000000 times which was hurting and yet we never broke up...if you call that love .
now somehow my x is back and...he says that he never ditched me but by the time he had the means to contact me i was already with this other guy so he didnot want to disturb?...he texted that ...remember?...i am myself confused but whenever i talk to him i can't but trust him.so according to him, he still loves me and always will.
and as i had said...my present bf ...we are again fighting. he is ignoring me. he doesnot have time for me. but he never says he doesnot love me . i know he does because his whole family knows what he is up to with me which my x never dared to tell his family.
so now, i am confused. i love both of them so much. and both of the love i feel is very different in nature. though, the one for my x is very intense, the one for the other guy is very caring and giving if that makes sense.if i had a chance i would go back to my x but now i also feel i wont be able to trust him like before?...or maybe i can?...i still love him and i feel those cravings inside me. but i cant at the same time imagine my present bf crying because of me. i am in a complete mess. i love both of them. what to do?...whom to choose?
You say you're confused. I am confused. Wondering how some of the info and knowledge is getting passed on to you that he doesnt miss you and is flirting. At least he confirmed it in a text. It's obvious you did not have the importance in his mind that you thought there was. He won't be the only male you come across that you will feel that kind of spark with. Wait for that spark again and with some one who would put you on a pedestal and treat you like a princess, like a precious jewel he could not bear to lose.
As for your rescuer, when there is that much dischord and fighting, that is not a good sign.
I think you got it right describing what you felt with this guy...that its because of what you were doing. Every female even though not a mother yet usually comes with natural nurturing caring love like a mother would have. He was repulsive for some reason..so perhaps he is not the most popular guy and in need of friends himself. So you were doing the friendship thing with him. i'm sure you know the difference between what gratefulness feels like compared to love.
At your age, relationships do not tend to last long for some pretty much because many teens are still learning the ins and outs of dating and dont always end up with the right person so they end up breaking up shortly after as in the case with your old bf breaking with new girlfriend and now seeking you out again. Trust and honesty are key parts to a relationship. Without its doomed. So if you feel he was dishonest with you, move on. Number two, you both fight...so move on. Life is too short to waste time in a relationship that brings you down rather than builds you up.
My boyfriend understands that I am self-concious and see private dances as a form of cheating, I practically begged him not 2 get one for his stag and he literally swore in my life that he would only get one if his mates paid at his stag and that would be it!! I take people swearing in my life very serious!! He then got 2 dances the one paid for by his friends and the one he paid for!! He lied on me asking twice before finally admitting that he had in fact paid himself for the second one!! I am in bits I know he loves me and I still want to marry him but I cant get the images out of my mind and feel physically sick at the thought!! I need help 2 get this out of my head before I go insane!! xxxxx
All men want a woman who to the public view, is his prim and proper wife. But behind closed doors she's the vixon who satisfies all his sexual needs and fantasies and she demands he do the same for her. Unfortunately, not all marriages are like that. So for some women, or men, the draw to find that "spice' outside the marriage is very strong... not because they don't love their partner, they just aren't being totally sexually fulfilled by their partner. It would behoove you to learn to get over feeling self concious around your husband because that will kill the sexual passion quickly. The self consciousness will fade over time if you make baby steps.
Sorry but to touch on this subject from all angles, this is going to be quite a bit longer.
I feel it's important that you understand this next fact: Reality is that an amazingly scary amount of people are not married to their sexual equal. I know from experience by having frank chats with many women friends at work. Later, When I was on line dating, men wrote me who had marriages where the wife supposedly did not want sex and they were looking for some spice and romance outside the marriage but confessed in every single case that they loved her and did not want to leave her to remarry. The love bond is strong but male sex drives are always going whereas many women's sex drives go into hibernation when nothings going on at home. And having a healthy sex drive that is not being satisfied at home is what will push women and men to look outside marriage. This situation didn't occur on its own. Both partners had a part in it getting that way. Or perhaps they ignored the fact that they were not a perfect match to begin with. Be totally sure if you are going to marry.
Now, in support of you: lets say you have a point,If you feel inferior somehow to the lap dancer type of girl...then ask yourself...is he truly more attracted to that type of woman over me? Or am I uncomfortable because of my upbringing or religious ideals?
Have you ever asked him what type of women he had been attracted to in the past? If you haven't you are missing out on some helpful important information. For example:
My husband from teen years on was interested in and dated older women 10 + years older than him. He always preferred natural beauty over makeup, hair dyes and breast implants and a petite figure. I fit the description for what he gravitates towards.
You're probably asking, "Then whats to stop him from gravitating to other petite older women with the natural look?' Good question.
The answer is, It's who I am inside...my personality, my nurturing nature, spiritual side, sense of humor and creativeness. Another body that looks like me is not guaranteed to have the same personality and things in common as me. He knows that.
So have some heart to heart conversation right now. You both must be open about your wishes and expectations.
If you are willing, work toward becoming less self conscious in life and less self conscious sexually. A good attitude for a healthy sex life is being creative and spontaneous. So a great motto to live by might be: 'Anytime, anywhere for any reason.
P.S. Do not enter marriage focusing your energy on worrying that he is going to be tempted to topless bars or viewing pornography on line. That is a negative focus. Have a positive focus...what can you learn to do at home to keep the passion alive between you two. It takes work. You can not remain passive as some wives do. You will need to be proactive at times...a healthy balance.
Good luck sweetie.
I've had a crush on, (let's call him Alex),since the beginning of this year. I haven't told him, but I did tell him that sometimes I felt like he was using me for school work and company. His ex-girlfriend cheated on him two times so he was lonely and maybe vulnerable so I let him off the hook the first time. The second time, I stopped talking to him abruptly and after a few weeks, I wrote him a letter explaining why I had stopped talking to him(him using me etc.). The last day of school, he came to me before I left and hugged me. He said he was sorry and while we were hugging, he whispered, "I love you" and I whispered, "I hate you." but I think we both know that it's the opposite. It was kind of a soap opera moment. Sadly, that was the last we'd spoken since the last day. It's been almost three weeks and nada from him. I'm taking it as he just thinks we're friends. His best friend, (Harry), has started talking to me on kik a lot. Calling me beautiful, my love, and saying things like "Wow you look gorgeous in that picture." We also talk about how he likes to write songs and such but I feel like he might like me. I'm going to see them both this Saturday because we've made a small party for the kids that were in my group. I feel like this party's going to be a make it or break it kind of thing. I was just wondering, what would you guys do? Would you talk to them individually and ask what's up? Would you come clean and tell them how you feel? By the way, I don't like Harry like that. I still have feelings for Alex even though I think he might not feel like that for me. Help?
In our youth, we learn how to be a good judge of character of people. Some we can learn be observing a person from a distance. The rest we need to learn the harder way by getting past the awkwardness and getting closer to you can see what guys are like beyond their looks. So yes, I think you have a good idea to talk to both.
For the future, in some cases, you may find there is chemistry with a guy that developes not because you were attracted to his looks, not that he is ugly, just that you are attracted more to his personality and what you have in common. Thats another important part of any relationship.
So go after Alex and see if theres something there. If not, start checking out other guys.
well its been 3days since I broke up with my boyfriend of 9years but I still find my self picking up when he call and wanting to do stuff for him still but that is the only time he calls me he dose not even call to see how the girls r doing i wish it was easy to get over him i guess im hoping that one time I pick up for him he will ask how the girls r doing and not to ask me to do something for him
For Any Partnership to be successful, the partners must share an equal load of responsibilities.
I have heard that he expects you to do things for him. In 9 years, did he prove himself to love and care unconditionally 24/7, And without being asked did he do things for you, always supportive of you in any way possible? It this who he is at core?
If not, you need to ask yourself what you really want. If you are willing to settle for a guy who puts on an act to pretend he cares, and will be content with him asking how your girls are, then by all means continue the relationship. However I dont believe you want that at all. Based on my first sentence to you, happily ever after doesnt happen just because you wish it so. It only happens when both people put in maximum effort to make it so. A relationship is hard work, there must be a level of commitment from both, whether a business partnership, dating relationship or marriage relationship. Without that commitment and effort it is doomed to failure, to die. Once dead, dieing or unhealthy, Going through the motions of having a relationship is like trying to ride a dead horse....you are not fooling anyone else and you are just lying to yourself.
well im 28 and my man is 41 and one he meets this girl and the only thang he tells me about her is she has a banging body well one he said he had to run over to his house ok thats fine but come to find out his is over there with this girl then ask me if i want to meet her when i said yes "she had to go" well every time he tell me im going out be back later then when he is around her he will not pick up for me when i call but when she got locked up for a week he did not go any where and he was so nice but now she is out he is a ass to me
Some people no matter their age, have not chosen to learn and grow and mature so just because he is 41 doesnt mean he knows a crap about anything including how to treat a woman.
Until a man learns to not view a woman as a sex object only, that man will not make a good boyfriend, man, male, mate, husband, lover.
A man at any age can learn how to treat a woman right. Women deserve to be treated in a totally supportive, and upholding way. Put on a pedestal and loved so unconditionally, treated like a Queen or Princess or Goddess, his word is his word, he only has eyes for you, he has deep respect for other women in his life such as mom, aunt, sister or grandma and treats them that way, going out of his way to make sure to look out after them, never lies or contradicts himself because he has nothing to hide.
Do you agree with this?
If so, his behavior is weakening you and what your ideals are and what you expect from a man so that you are changing what you will accept in a man? Or is he strengthening you? He is supportive of you seeking your goals, his actions show he is willing to be of service to you, in taking care of the home, the income, loving unconditionally and of fully satisfying his lady in bed, he always builds you up in words.
You only can answer that question, is he strengthening you or weakening you. And you will know whether to keep or let go for good of this man. Good luck sweetie
My best friend (who is a guy) I really like him and all my friends say we would make a great couple, I want to know if he likes me...and its its not that since I'm a girl I don't want to ask him out, it's just, I'm scared he won't like me back the same way, then our friendship would be ruined! What should I do?
Ok, here's a way to do this. Tell him that no one has asked you to become his girl and become a couple but you want to know what to do if and when that day comes. Then say I want to know because I really like you that much that I wish we could be more than best friends together. If you are interested and I did not know it, I dont want to find i hurt your feelings because I accepted another guys offer. So I'd like you to be truthful and tell me.
Give him a day or so to think about it if he doesnt have an instant answer. He needs to picture this in his mind if he hasnt given this scenerio any thought yet, and be truthful with himself as to how he feels about you. If he knows he can be ok with just being best friends and watching you date another, then he cares about you like a girlfriend would but has no romantic interest. Best to find out now.
14/f
I havent seen my best guy friend in over 5 months...
and last week i saw him for the first time again. I came to visit our old school(i trnsfered)
he literally ran to me and screamed my name. He ran so fast that when he hugged me we both fell on the floor. Then we got up.
"Omg i missed you so much. Howve you been? You look different."
Then we gave me a better hug when we got up and it was ssoooooo tight and big and it lasted for 10seconds.
anyways. He started playing with my hand. And he an di had the biggest smile we had ever seen on each others faces.He asked me if i made a new guy friend at my new school and i saw yes. Suddnely when i said that his smile disappeared and said "oh ive been replaced...."
And dropped my hand and walked away to his class.
What happened? Whats wrong? Was it something that i said?
Maybe he was jealous but why?
And i have to admit...
He has gotten very attractive.
But back to the point.... why did he just walk away?
I mean we havent seen or heard from each other in a while so why walk away like that.... :\
That sure was some enthusiastic welcome he gave you. Sounds like he could possibly have been feeling more than just best friends with you all along, and just not able to convey that to you.
You'll have to ask him to find out. If it came to dating him and him being your sweetheart, versus the new guy friend, which would you prefer?
Theres a chance that in the 5 months away, he missed you so bad that he had hoped to ask you to be his girl once back thus the enthusiastic greeting followed by disappointment thinking he was replaced.
Think about it, girls sometimes have several best friends, like a small tight knit group of 3 or 4. I had that in high school. Do you ever hear of a gal having two male best friends? Not unless they are in a polyamorous relationship together and both guys ok with it. Basically extremely rare.
I don't think his disappointment was that you had another male friend to hang with, he is assuming it is something more perhaps like dating.
So, depending on what you want and also how much you really care about him, you need to go have a heart to heart talk. If you feel his statement is wrong, tell him so, that he has not been replaced. The guy is just a good friend same as he is. Find out if he is ready to take your best friend relationship up to the next level, and date. I cant think of any other reason for a guy to walk away disappointed.
You answered truthfully nothing wrong with that. You will learn as you grow up into adult hood that when asked point blank by a guy if you made a new guy friend, sometimes a safer response is, "Why do you ask?" Because then he would be put in spot to explain how he feels about you.
Or teasingly not answer and pose the same question back, "Answer this first, did you make a new best girl friend?" If he said he had not, then you could ask why and he is again put in the position of telling you why.
Just start him talking and find out what is behind his reaction if you value your friendship
i want fuck my cousin sister we talk sex things ligtly iwant to increase to chat these things
Doesn't matter whether you meant your cousin and your sister, or your cousins sister which make her your cousin also...that is incest and is wrong.
You must learn to gain control of your sexual urges young man. Masturbate to take the edge off. Its time you learn the world doesnt rotate around you.
Sounds harsh right? Well you came here for honest advice...we're not going to lie to you and tell you to go and indulge yourself, maybe even forcing yourself on family or even girlfriends.
Never force a woman to do something she doesnt consent to. That is rape. Dont mess up your life so early because you were so horny.
I've been taking pills for 8 years even I was child bkoz of acne. Now I am going to stop it then get pregnant. When can I get pregnant after stopping pills? I am afraid if the acne get occurred again.
I have heard it recommended to wait until your cycles return to normal before trying to get pregnant and using a non hormonal contraception until that time and not worry or focus on it. Its a little different for every woman so not many give exact amount of time passage before a woman can conceive after the pill.
As for the acne, its been over 7 yrs. Every 7 yrs all the cells in our body have renewed. So what was troubling you back then may be something you've outgrown by now. I used to be allergic to eating onions, made me ill. Stopped eating them. 7-8 years later I tried onion again and found I had outgrown my allergic reaction to them
Wait to see what happens. If acne does reoccur, you are older now and perhaps there is something new on the market now that will work just as good or better so see a Dr about that.
What does missionary position mean
hello
Not sure why you feel your question is gross unless you are very very young and not into experiencing your hormones yet.
The term " missionary position " refers to one of the most common used positions two people use for sex. The video belows shows the few variations of it and explains why. The two people are fully clothed and video is done by a sex coach. So it's not x rated, just instructional.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZuEAyFc4UM
I do lots of inappropriate stuff on the internet.. like porn. I delete the history, bu when i am going to sign up for a job will they find it? Will it affect me somehow?
The politicians keep coming up with more laws to protect the rights of people who want to be employed. I know that a person's sexual orientation can not be a cause to refuse a job. Nor should they have any right to ask personal questions as to your sexual habits. If you know that you might be over obsessing about it so that you can't stay away from looking up porn while at work and supposed to be working for the company...then it will cause you to be fired. I know of a mgr where i once worked who was fired when he was caught viewing porn in his office during the work day.
You describe yourself as doing inappropriate stuff on the net. Who says it is inappropriate. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. If a young teen uses that instead of having sex to satisfy their urges, whats wrong with that? If its being drawn to a different age group much older, or having some fetish, who is to say its inappropriate on line. If a girl or guy were under age and wanted an adult for real sex, then it is inappropriate and by law will put that adult in jail.
Society has so many strange and confusing things to say about what is okay regarding sex and what is not. Don't start so early having hangups about what you naturally gravitate towards. What is done between two consenting adults of legal age is okay no matter if someone else frowns on it or finds it bizarre.
(I'm 13 and my sister is 15)
This morning, me and my sister were in our living room and we were arguing over some random thing and she threw a pillow at me. I said "Yeah, because a pillow hurts me" and she said "You were lucky it was a pillow and not something else. I could've slapped you." Then she said she wanted to kill me.
Will she try to kill me? She's done things to me in my sleep in the past before (That water cup prank, putting stuff on my face, etc.) so now I'm terrified that she'll try something. What should I do?
Haha I remember this time well, i had all daughters so for a long period of time i had two then eventually 3 at once whose emotions were going haywire as their bodies were trying to adjust to all the hormones coursing through their bodies. They cried over little things, made big deals over nothing, screamed real loud at the top of their lungs when mad or frustrated which happened quite often, and of course, fought with their siblings.
I would say your sisters words are harmless. But then again, Perhaps you and your mom are not aware of other pressures she is facing in her own life, at school, with friends, etc...that may be stressing her out beyond her ability to handle fairly and rationally which means she could take out her frustrations at home...and you could end up the brunt of it in fights. Not that I think she might lose control to the point of killing, But any person, adults too, are capable of doing that in a certain situation. Everyone has their mental and emotional breaking points. In your case its more teenage girl hormones running amok. Since your sister has messed with your psyche by doing stuff to you when asleep, it makes you more uncomfortable so its best if you brought up to mom that you and sis are having troubles with your hormones going nuts and fighting alot and it scares you sometimes. Mom may not have given it a thought but once reminded, she'll remember when she was that age..and she has gone through it too...i assure you, though maybe at a greater or lesser intensity. Mom needs to be there for you and have conversations with you and remind you both to gain control of your emotions when she sees you losing it. Maybe give hints at how to cope, tricks to switch your attention off what random thing is making sis or you angry. Talk to mom and get a friendly supportive family chat started.
Well,So this weekend I saw my boyfriend and I haven't talked to him in awhile because my phone was broken. Well we have been dating for awhile and it has always been awkward when we see each other, we are both 14 anyway my friend I know was like you used to date him? and I didn't know what he was even talking about. I don't know if we are dating are not but I really like him but it seems like we are not even dating at all.But it makes me sad and I am dumb enough not to even ask him about it when I had the chance and I don't get to see him for a while later and it kills me. ): please help me.
I dont think any teen has yet been able to explain to me what teens these days mean by saying they are "dating" or being a couple so
Right now i can only guess. I hope its more than just being seen together at school and talking sometimes.
If that were all that there was to being a couple, then your parents would never have married and you'd have never been born.
First, you need to gain some self confidence and approach the guy you like and say hi. Since you've talked with him before, start conversation on something he is interested in or regarding some teacher or event at school. And then tell him you miss having the conversations you used to have before your phone broke. Ask if he'd like to spend more time with you so you can do that. If he agrees with all this, great enjoy the conversation again. If you want more, like dating and being a couple, you might say, "If we spend more time together, it might appear that we are a couple or dating you know. In fact, now that i think of it, why don't we really date, we both like each other enough right?" Sneak in the invite to date. Guys are sometimes too chicken or have no idea what to say to a girl to make the suggestion themselves. Yes, its awkward at first. You;ll see as you get older, you'll be less concerned with what anyone thinks including the possible reactions of the guy you ask. Its always worth going for it and living a few moments of awkwardness to living a lifetime always wondering, "What if..."
I work in rows on my scarred skin
My razor my spade my drug allowing me to feel again
People chant Yolo and live in the now
But when I catch my reflection in the mirror all I see is a fat sow
When I look down my future is in binds
Scars and fat is all I find
I cant even breath
Ive bloodied my sleeve
I always have people say theyre always there
But I feel as if no one really cares
As the pain and vomit urges me to bid good bye
The pain and blood will sing me their sorrowful lulliby.
Please help me.im 13 a girl and am hopeless.I cant stop.
first off, you are wonderful with words, a talented poet even though the subject matter is sad. I made a friend who showed me a book of poems she wrote when she was younger, two back to back physically abusive marriages. The 2nd guy killed his own baby by kicking her in the stomach until she miscarried. The poetry was her way of getting out the emotions, sadness, depression and grief of her life at that time. Now she has them to read and see how far she has come. Life is difficult for everyone. At 13, maybe you are one of only a handful who suffer the same circumstances that cause you to cut. Those you think who have a great life, are popular and happy still have their life lesson awaiting them. We are all meant to go through the hardships, not to cut or kill ourselves, but to find ways to get through them triumphantly because that makes us a stronger better person and soul.
So You feel you are fat and perhaps kids say much the same. You had the option to believe and accept and agree with their assessment of you, or you can choose to refuse it and not accept it.
Oh but not accepting a statement like "you are fat" is hard, isnt it. Thats why you are stuck. So this means you will need to self motivate to get out of this hole.
First tell your parents, tell school counselors and get started on counseling. You can do small things for yourself too..not to make the kids happier with your looks but only if its what you want. If you are seriously obese, a family doctor should be part of your help team. Too much extra weight will affect your health. If you have some fat and wish to lose some, perhaps your Dr. has some safe guidelines for diet and exercise. If not matter what you do, weight does not come off, it could be something hereditary or maybe your big boned to begin with and close to a normal weight.
Let me tell you something about weight. I have a sister who looked like a playboy bunny starting at your age. You might think, great she had it made...she could be popular. Nope. not at all. Girls were jealous of her and she was hit on by guys not just her age multiple times daily for sex but was getting the same from adult men. She couldn't cope and began to gain weight as a way to get rid of the unwanted attention and pressure. No one cared about who she was inside.
She is now in her forties finally losing the weight for health reasons--diabetes
She found a husband who loved her body the way it was. Looks aren't everything, but having a healthy self image is everything dear. SO see a professional to gain some perspective and enjoy your life.
PLEASE do continue to write poems of your journey, the help process, and your feelings along the way to gaining a good self image. Perhaps on the other end, the book of your poems may be published and given out by counselors to other young people who are in the position you once were, to encourage them. Blessings to you dear.
Determine the mechanical efficiency of the pump.
Are we talking breast pump for milk or a pump to get rid of water in a basement or something else?