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tell me what to do?
i am 15/f. on 6th feb 2012, he proposed me. we had been besties and then when he proposed...i still remember the happiness...i have never been so happy in my life.and the best part was he liked what i did and understood before i said things...he knew me completely. more to say i never thought he was human, i thought he could read me. i was so overwhelmed by him. every thing about him. i was his first and he is my first love. till i left that town and shifted...we still shared the same love until one day he cut all contacts without any fight or anything . i later came to know that his father had forcefully taken away all his COMMUNICATION FACTORS. but slowly, as i eagerly waited for him, i heard he didnot miss me, jokes around and flirts in school,he does hav a cell which he lends to girls and uses to call his new gf ...and so on including a few instances where he abused me indirectly . i must mention that all these were from sources and not him. what he texted himself was..." I CAN NOT LOVE you ANYMORE. I HAVE GF HERE". so....i tried to kill myself
then this guy whom i had rejected once called me up and he was all the mental strength i needed at that time to recover and want to live again. i have to mention that he is not at all like me in any way . he is quite repulsive and difficult for me to understand. but i didnot ditch him coz i didnot want to hurt him and slowly i fell for him. atleast i thought i did. but yes, i admit that it was not so overwhelming and special and i never felt the same as my first love. it was more of formal love...something that i was doing rather than it being happening on itself. i hope the difference is clear. but we fought a 1000000 times which was hurting and yet we never broke up...if you call that love .
now somehow my x is back and...he says that he never ditched me but by the time he had the means to contact me i was already with this other guy so he didnot want to disturb?...he texted that ...remember?...i am myself confused but whenever i talk to him i can't but trust him.so according to him, he still loves me and always will.
and as i had said...my present bf ...we are again fighting. he is ignoring me. he doesnot have time for me. but he never says he doesnot love me . i know he does because his whole family knows what he is up to with me which my x never dared to tell his family.
so now, i am confused. i love both of them so much. and both of the love i feel is very different in nature. though, the one for my x is very intense, the one for the other guy is very caring and giving if that makes sense.if i had a chance i would go back to my x but now i also feel i wont be able to trust him like before?...or maybe i can?...i still love him and i feel those cravings inside me. but i cant at the same time imagine my present bf crying because of me. i am in a complete mess. i love both of them. what to do?...whom to choose?
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You say you're confused. I am confused. Wondering how some of the info and knowledge is getting passed on to you that he doesnt miss you and is flirting. At least he confirmed it in a text. It's obvious you did not have the importance in his mind that you thought there was. He won't be the only male you come across that you will feel that kind of spark with. Wait for that spark again and with some one who would put you on a pedestal and treat you like a princess, like a precious jewel he could not bear to lose.
As for your rescuer, when there is that much dischord and fighting, that is not a good sign.
I think you got it right describing what you felt with this guy...that its because of what you were doing. Every female even though not a mother yet usually comes with natural nurturing caring love like a mother would have. He was repulsive for some reason..so perhaps he is not the most popular guy and in need of friends himself. So you were doing the friendship thing with him. i'm sure you know the difference between what gratefulness feels like compared to love.
At your age, relationships do not tend to last long for some pretty much because many teens are still learning the ins and outs of dating and dont always end up with the right person so they end up breaking up shortly after as in the case with your old bf breaking with new girlfriend and now seeking you out again. Trust and honesty are key parts to a relationship. Without its doomed. So if you feel he was dishonest with you, move on. Number two, you both fight...so move on. Life is too short to waste time in a relationship that brings you down rather than builds you up.
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You're 15, you don't need this kind of drama.
So his dad was the one who cut all the contact with you? But you heard from other people that he flirts with other girls? Well you can't listen to that kind of gossip first of all until it comes from the source itself. But he did tell you he has a new girlfriend. That means he moved on from you and didn't feel the need to wait for you like you waited for him.
So it shows he doesn't love you because you don't do that to someone you love. You would wait for someone you love.
Don't try to kill yourself or hurt yourself over a guy. He isn't the only guy in the world. If you keep feeling this way, you need to get help.
This other guy you got with was the rebound. I don't know if you love him. But you keep comparing him to your ex so it shows you don't truly love him if you're comparing him. It's not fair to him. It's not fair to him that you're with him right now. He's not a toy to help you get over someone else.
I think if you ever got back together with your ex, you wouldn't be truly happy because you wouldn't be able to trust him again. What if he pulled another stunt like that again?
And your ex never told his family about you? Do you even know his family? You truly see how people are when you see them around his family and friends.
You might love them, but you love them differently and you shouldn't love either of them that way. You're not in love with them though.
If you can't trust someone, the relationship won't work.
I think you should take a break from your current boyfriend. Don't get together with your ex though. He doesn't seem like good news and he doesn't seem to be right for you. Your current boyfriend will be hurt but it's better than leading him on because you don't know how to feel.
So give yourself your own time and don't talk to either of them. Maybe you'll end up finding someone else who you won't fight with all the time and will be there for you even when you're not around.
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choose one who loves you and careing you if your ex-want you he contacted you but he did not and now he said you that he do not want to distrub,what is this ,is pure cheating ,not love for you if he do not want to distrub you than now why he contacted you why???he have any answer for this why?i know ,is answer is no.which you felt in your frist love as everyone feel same as you ,frist love and frist rain is different than other .you know girl like their praise if boy friend always tell a lie and say her ,darling i love you girl understand truth it but boys alwaya use girls for sex they think he is realy so much love me.but situation is different there. so give your heart as one who care you and love you with soul not for physical attraction.i think you can choose one now
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