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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Hi my friend is 20 and has had her implant out since March 21st. But hasn't had a period since, She has turned to me for advice and I'm unsure what is the right response....on the 28th of May she was due to have her period as normal before getting the implant and she had sex that day and again two days later with the same guy....out of the blue she is experiencing vomiting, the occasional stomach cramps, dizzy spells quite bad and she has informed me her breasts are tender still which is not normal for her....is there a chance is pregnant if she is she is very early on in showing signs at 2week's 5day's she has done a test it said negative but I think that is due to it being too early to tell.....what can I tell her?

By implant, you are talking about birth control device? There are two kinds, the Mirena, hormonal IUD and the copper one which is a non hormonal one. Which one did she have? If she had the implant taken out, was it due to problems she had with it? What I don't know in your story is if she is trying to get pregnant or just was in between contraceptives and may have gotten pregnant when she didn't want to.

What I can say is if it was the Mirena, the hormones in that, same as hormones in a pill, will still be effecting a womans body for a while after. The hormones themselves simulate quite often the symptoms of being pregnant such as weight gain, tender breasts, loss of libido, etc.... It takes some time for the body to get back on a regular cycle.
With the copper IUD, there is no such effect and a woman has her cycles through the use of the IUD, so when it is taken out, her cycles continue as usual and it is easier to get pregnant on the first try if trying for becoming pregnant. Is she embarassed to go to her doctor with questions? There is a chance she is pregnant. Whether that is good news or bad news for her, I don;t know but it is important that she see her GYN and let him/her know what has been happening since she had the IUD taken out.

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England. Female. 16.

I've been dating a guy for a couple of weeks now. We were friends for almost over a year. I've always dated the boys that had the bad side to them, I always seemed to be attracted to them, even though all of those relationships ended badly. However, the guy I'm currently dating, he wanted to be with me for ages, but I just somehow wasn't attracted to him in any way shape or form. He's one of those good guys, he's so nice, sometimes I think too nice. He does make me laugh, he encourages me to do things I never would of thought I had the ability to do. The thing is, I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing by being with him. But, if I wasn't with him, I think I'd miss him. It's like I want to be with him, but I don't. The littlest things he does, sometimes really annoy me. Like, the way he's so clumsy, the way he just falls asleep whilst texting. I don't know what is going through my head. Is he just a friend? What can I do? I'm unsure about my feelings.

Your inner voice was telling you that dating the guys you have been is not worth you putting time and energy into. That is good. You heard and are trying to figure out your next move.
However the nice guy type you chose, there's something about his personality that doesn't attract you. There is something missing in him that you like in the bad guy type, that common thread common denominator if you look close enough. look long and hard at the men you have dated in the past and compare them in the early stages, not so much after they have changed. There will be a common thread that ties them together. One thing that women said when asked why they choose one type over the other, is that nice guys seem boring and the bad guys seem exciting. What is it that makes them exciting?

Maybe they are more bold, self assured, willing to take risks, thinks and lives outside the box, un-predictive. All those things I just mentioned are things every woman wants in a guy. But she wants those ingredients in a nice guy because if a nice guy had them, he would still treat her with respect, be in love with her and not tire of her later, uphold and support her and encourage her (as your current guy does) but have a bit of the un-predictive in him. Thats what keeps the spice in the relationship. Same for long term marriages. Instead of falling into a rut, couples need to be willing to do something daring together or surprise their partners.
I think a lot of these traits in a guy are what stimulate an interest in females, the same as in the animal kingdom. The strong of two stags in a fight over a female is the one who gets to mate with her. Even However the nice guy type you chose, there's something about his personality that doesn't attract you. There is something missing in him that you like in the bad guy type, that common thread common denominator if you look close enough. look long and hard at the men you have dated in the past and compare them in the early stages, not so much after they have changed. There will be a common thread that ties them together. One thing that women said when asked why they choose one type over the other, is that nice guys seem boring and the bad guys seem exciting. What is it that makes them exciting?

Maybe they are more bold, self assured, willing to take risks, thinks and lives outside the box, un-predictive. All those things I just mentioned are things every woman wants in a guy. But she wants those ingredients in a nice guy because if a nice guy had them, he would still treat her with respect, be in love with her and not tire of her later, uphold and support her and encourage her (as your current guy does) but have a bit of the un-predictive in him. Thats what keeps the spice in the relationship. Same for long term marriages. Instead of falling into a rut, couples need to be willing to do something daring together or surprise their partners.
I think a lot of these traits in a guy are what stimulate an interest in females, the same as in the animal kingdom. When two stags are fighting over a female, the stronger of the two is going to get to mate with her. Maybe its something about the one willing to fight for her, he knows what he wants. Whether a female is being sexual with a guy yet or not, there is something about those qualities that excite her passions. Some nice guys have those qualities but are good at hiding them and not letting them out until they feel secure enough with a girl. There is enough you like about this guy that it might be good to give it more time to see if he can be those exciting aspects for you. Not that he can be changed, but just be hiding these parts of him. I have a husband who is the proper nice guy in public but at home behind closed doors, he's a tiger. We might do something like both be nude at home when we know we will have company stopping by any time. As it gets closer and I want to get dressed, he'd stop me and say, I love to see you nude, don't get dressed yet, they might be late and then try to distract me. So finally they knock on the door and we race to see who can get dressed the fastest to go answer it. Or we went for a walk through the forest when he turned and stopped and kissed me and wanted to make love. Just the thought that someone could find us made it exciting but I didn't really want someone to see me. He grabbed my
hand and started pulling me off the worn foot path into the bushes through clearings and he kept looking until we had a spot shielded from any of the foot paths. No one would see us. It was great fun. Definitely not a boring guy.

Whether your nice guy has enough of the exciting qualities in him that you want, is going to be up to you to decide. If you decide its not him, find another seemingly good guy and start looking for clues whether he has those exciting traits. If you are aware of what you are looking for, you will get better and better at spotting it. Thats what dating is all about, learning what we like and dont like and acquiring the skills to spot it in a guy. That helps us to one day find the guy who becomes our mate. Good luck dear.

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Hey
Im 16 my boyfriend is 17 and we have been dating for almost a year. I love him alot and we never get into fights. He is so sweet to me but sometimes i feel like he relies on me too much for sexual pleasure. He isnt a pervert by any means(trust me i have already expireienced those..) and my parents love him. The other thing that annoys me the most though is when we are texting and then he just stops in the middle of a conversation or he takes 30 minutes to respond... i have talked to him about this before and he tries to make improvements but it still hapens all the time. When we hang out together we always have a great time though and i love him alot. So should i break up with him or not? Is that a good enough reason to.break up with him or is that unfair?

Only you can determine whether there is an equal amount of sexual and other activities that make up a friendship and relationship. If one of you feels anything is out of balance, then a couple should have a good talk. He may feel all is okay but if you are having concerns, then there is something you need to bring up to him as a concern.
As long as you are getting your sexual needs met and are feeling fulfilled then there is likely no problem there. Though I will mention that some married couples are mismatched in what they require to be satisfied sexually. Activity 2x a week is great for one partner but the other wants it once a day. There's nothing wrong with either person...some are naturally wired with a higher libido. The trick is to find a partner that is a great match for you.
You say the greater problem is his communication by texting. Could it be that he has ADD? His attention just breaking off mid sentence surely sounds like that. But then again,he might just do better communicating verbally. Lots of guys are not into typing as in texting or typing online like facebook or twitter. When you are not together, is it possible to try an actual phone call instead and see if that corrects the problem. I would try to work things out first. If in the end, things have not improved, then you need to decide if these are little issues you can ignore long term, or are they are big deal. Relationships are hard work with both partners working hard to make it work. Doesnt work if one is making all the adjustmensts and changes and not the other. I have the feeling that you truly will be committed to working things out. Lets hope he is too. Good luck dear.

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I used to feel accomplishment in anything I did. I would clean and re-do my room and it would make me feel awesome. It was the best feeling in the world. Today I cleaned, I studied for exams, I learned another song on the piano, downloaded some great songs on my iPod and I baked for my family. Nothing... I can't get happy. Mind you I have exams and I've been so stressed but that should not be as big of a deal as I feel it is. All of a sudden I feel as though this summer will define the rest of my life and this fear is affecting everything I do. I'm so nervous that I can't even enjoy the little things. How do I burry my funk?

Well, it could be perhaps that the things you are doing are things that you aren't passionate enough about so that they would stir up joy in you. I could be outsides weeding in my garden until it slowly got dark. My family would be asking if I had plans to make dinner cus it was way past dinner time. I thought it was still early, because for me, gardening is some I am so passionate about, the time just flys so quickly. I never seem to have enough time to do gardening related things. Maybe you just need a change.
I will volunteer the info that stress will lower our vibrational energy and lower the neuro transmitters in our brain that keep us in happy spirits no matter what is going on for us. One thing that raises these levels in bear hugs...good long hugs. A brief hug wont have time to affect you. Reading up on hugging therapy on line. Most of us no longer get many hugs 8 a day is recommended minimum. We all get far less. If hugging doesnt sound too cool to you, singing helps, movement like jogging, dancing, skipping, and playing the music that usually makes your spirit inside feel so light like its floating away. Lastly laughter, and comdedy. These really are proven to help. Good Luck

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I'm a female! There's this one guy who I use to have in one of my classes, we never talked too much. One day in my summer break he messages me on Facebook and we start talking and we started gettif flirty then he said he liked me. We kept talking for a while and one day my friend told me he has been talking to other girls the entire time. I updated a status about him and he got mad and it created lots of drama. I heard he was saying rude things about me and he tried talking again and be asked me out.. I wanna say yes cause I like him but iDont know of he's playing me again /:

YOu need to learn to stop listening to others. Things get distorted unintentionally as messages are passed via the grapevine. But that does not rule out that someone who may be jealous of the attention he is paying you is making up stories to try and ruin it for you if you choose to believe them without checking out the facts.

What facts do you have so far? Only what this guy has said to your face or directly to you on FB, and that is: I like you. and I want to ask you out.

I do not know what status you put something like "in a relationship with" and refered to him when all you have done is mostly chat on line, that is not a relationship in many peoples eyes, and apparently in his too. Whether your friends told you to change status on FB and you followed their idea or you came up with it on your own, that was all your own mess you created. Next time don't make assumptions.
When you say he's been talking to other girls, are you talking strictly FB? That is not playing the field. One can talk to many friends of the opposite sex on line and that does not constitute a problem. If he is flirting with and talking romantic and asking out all these girls in person face to face and on FB, then there is a problem. But unless you have seen him do this or seen what he has supposedly written others, you have no proof. To accuse him when you are wrong would kill any chance you had with him. The words of others, friends or not...is not proof. Remember that saying "Innocent until proven guilty." If he is being two faced and trying to hide something from you...you will eventually see it yourself and when you know it for sure, then you can stop dating. But don't let this concern keep you from dating someone who might be a perfectly wonderful guy. I know from experience, that people who are presenting a false facade, pretending to be someone they are not, can not do so forever. It takes too much energy to keep up the lies and falsehood so eventually when they think they have you hooked in the relationship, their guard comes down and they start making obvious mistakes.

End result from all I just explained to you, yes, go out with him. But I took the time to explain in detail so you wouldnt have any doubts and worries to spoil things for you

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Am I weird? All the people at my school and most my friends say that I'm mental and should be put into a mental facility. They all think that I'm weird and odd because I don't act like everyone else. I'm confused. I'm a free-spirit but I don't know what is wrong. Please help...thank you!

Since you ask the question, it means you're already leaning heavily towards believing them. Here's the tricky part, if you don't verbally or at least mentally reject such evaluations of yourself from others, then your subconscious mind takes in that information as being the truth and will then try to make your life resemble these so called statements you have decided to agree with.

There is a book called "The Four Agreements" which are mistakes we make in life that end up hindering our progress or changing us into carbon copies of the majority out there.
Agreement #2 is: Don't take anything personally. It means you chose to not own something said to you as the truth about yourself. But you have to make that choice. If I have a tickle cough from allergies but others at work were recently sick, a co-worker says, "Looks like its your turn, You are getting sick." That split second that my mind wonders, what if they are right...maybe its not allergies and i am getting sick? Then the seed of "You are sick" has been planted in your subconscious and it will do whatever it can to help you bring that to reality. Your immune system lowers so that the next germ you are exposed to, you actually catch. Remember that what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the actions and opinions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Always choose to be your own person. Most these students will think differently when they grow up into adults. Right now, they have no idea how to be their own person so they follow the crowd. That is a cop out..not being brave enough to discover theirselves and try out what feels right to them. Some people get caught in and remain in that trap as adults and lead very unhappy unproductive lives. At school age, there might be a couple of people like you...there always are a few, but they are hard to find. Just keep looking, soon you will find others like you to befriend.

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I got my report card today, I got 1 F, 2 As, And 2 Bs. My mom is freaking out on me, and I've never gotten a bad grade before, I'm an A-B student. But Algebra 2 made no sense to me. I struggled with it and my mom is talking about grounding me the whole summer and all this stuff. I don't know what to do I feel like I've failed at life and that I'm such a moron.



What I'd like to know is what was happening in that algebra class early on. I struggled with Algebra too. My highschool had all the math teachers choose those who were struggling the most and put us in a class for those slower at learning algebra. It helped some people. My teacher was so patient with me and tried various ways to help me to get it but i never really did. So I got a D but had A's and B's in all else. Did your teacher not see you struggling, Wasn't a tutor suggested? Did the algebra teacher ask to have a conferance with you, parents about how you were not doing good at all? If mom never had a clue, I can understand her freaking out just from the shock of it. But she needs to have some compassion here, cus not all of us are gonna be rocket scientists. I think mom's reaction is harsh about grounding you. Like that is going to magically kick your brain into gear and it automatically finally understands algebra perfectly. Did you talk to mom throughout the semester and let her know how you were struggling? Did you ask the school for help? I am sure its way different than when i went thru H.S. but if some one who is an A-B student is having that much difficulty you'd think someone would have suggested something you could try or what alternate math class would be okay. You are not a failure for getting an F. Your school and teacher are the failures for not taking it more seriously and helping you early on. Are they lazy these days? You are not a moron for getting one F. Let me remind you that some of our most famous people in history who invented things and cures were people who never finished school. They were certainly not morons but genious's instead. I think you need to have a talk with your parents and teacher and school counselor, hopefully all together at one meeting. If this can't be addressed until the beginning of the new school year, then ask at the start what you can do to make up for your one F. And next time you struggle with anything, be a squeeky wheel...keep after people, bugging them for help, again and again until they are so tired of hearing from you that they figure out a solution for you. Get your parents to fight for you in school too. If you don't get help from teachers, talk to counselors, if not there, move up to the vp or the principal. Your parents if they get no help there might try the district school board next. Sometimes, a company has no flow chart for problem solving in one particular area and that makes the company weak. Same for school. Perhaps they have nothing in place to help you and the only way they will know they need to make some upgrades to how they run the school and what help they offer students is to have this problem shoved in their face. I hope you can be brave enough to start the ball rolling. It can feel intimidating...I know...I brought up a weak link in the company I worked at where we lost business over issues we had no problem solving in place for. It took a Quality control manager finally backing up what I was saying before the president would take me seriously. And all the people I originally spoke to tried to ignore me...you may get that too. But you deserve to get all the help you need to do your very best. If schools not gonna do that, you could do just as good or better online at home.

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My friend Jezz is getting married and I am the maid of honor. One of my task is to make sure all the bridesmaids have their dresses. I spoke with two of the other bridesmaids and delivered the news that Jezz said the dresses can be their choice as long as it wasn't racy and had to be red. Jezz had a talk about how all bridesmaids where to pay for their own dresses, Now the bridesmaids are expecting their dresses to be paid by the bride and it is causing a great deal of stress. Dress fittings are next week....

While it would be nice if Jezz were rich enough to pay for all details of her wedding including the dresses, in todays economy it isn't necessarily easy to do. At the beginning when she asked them to be bridesmaids, tell she tell them that tho she wants them in the wedding, she cant afford to pay for their dresses, so they may want to consider accepting based on that. If she sprung this on them later down the line, I can see where bridesmaids might be upset. I have seen the bridal gown shop deal with all matching dresses or dresses of same fabric but differing styles. Going this route is expensive but each dress is being made from scratch. If it's still at a point where they can back out, on the gowns and stop the deal that might be smart. It would have been better to choose a swath of fabric at the store in a color she liked, gave each bridesmaid a color swatch and told them to find a long dress close to that color. Maybe the best thing if its too late is to split the cost at this point. That means Jezz would have to pay half the cost of each dress. And then she's have to cut corners somewhere else in her wedding. I'd say, she's kind of gotten herself stuck there.

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I'm going to be blunt and say that I am terrified of anything going near my vagina. I've never once used tampons or stuck my finger in there.

Until I was told to get the annual check up that all females get. I went to the doctor and she didn't even get the tip of her finger in and I was screaming. I was terrified and I'm still not sure why. She says it's some kind of trauma, but I've never had anything traumatizing happen to me. I'm just terrified of pain and discomfort. To show me it was okay, she used something to numb me down there and then had me stick my finger inside myself and it was probably the most disturbing thing in my entire life. I did not like it at all and I could never understand how someone could like it.

Unfortunately, she couldn't do the exam because I was so scared. I couldn't force myself to calm down. I basically had a panic attack-- again. I've had this happen to me twice now.

And I was told to get some help, and I went to a therapist, but it really wasn't helping. I can't NOT be scared of something. Being scared is what keeps me alive and comfortable. I'm actually scare of a lot of things, and this probably isn't healthy, but I really don't see myself changing any time soon. And I don't have enough money to get a new therapist-- and my mother's benefits only cover five visits per therapist.

What I'm asking is if there's anyway I can get myself to relax while I'm practicing with myself (my doctor told me she's giving me a year to practice, and I need to get used to TWO fingers). Is there something I can do or use that'll at least allow me to get over the heart attack of actually putting my finger in me? (I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, because it honestly makes me feel very stupid, but I need help) Mind you, I'm a nineteen-year-old female.

Hi Hon, Since it's not just one fear but many, there is no easy answer. While there may be things you took on as traumatic experiences in your life, even tho you may not believe this, theres a possibility that your soul is carrying remembrance of traumatic experiences from past lives. All of all emotions and feelings come from our subconscious mind. The sub is what gives you dreams at night. So treating your conscious or awake mind is not going to get at the root of what has your sub so terrified. In your subconscious dwells your inner child. Children are impulsive, carefree, playful but also easily impressed by things around them. Watching scary movies can traumatize a child and then the child fears monsters hiding in their dark bedroom at night. The monsters are not real, but the fear is and that will prevent them being able to sleep alone. The unknown fears in your sub have to be addressed. Your sub needs to be shown that whatever is scary is in the past or a past life and can no longer affect you. For you to consciously follow what Dr said to try without addressing your sub conscious is not going to be successful. Even if your vagina were totally stretched out and there is no possibility of having any physical pain, psychologically the fears will still affect your ability to use tampons, vibrators, having a healthy sexual relationship. I understand not having much time with each therapist. So all I can think of is using a hypnotist if they are covered because that is what I think will have more impact because this process works with the subconscious mind. They can help you to go back in time in this life to see what may have scared you. If nothing is found they can take you back to before this life. They help you through the scary experience by coaching you to imagining a happy ending to what really happened, changing the scenerio's. Some hypnotists are specialized in taking you back in what's called a regression session. I am not an expert. But from people I have talked to or read about in such situations, they have said hypnosis really works. I even had a close friend helped by it. Good luck.

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I've been dating my boyfriend long distance for 2 years. This August I am supposed to move in with him so we can drop the long distance issue and see if our relationship will work. However, recently he came clean about smoking weed behind my back. It's something I'm not okay with. I know weed is "innocent" and all of that jazz but I just personally don't want to date someone who's smoking/buying weed. How did I found out? I came across a dating profile of his on an escort website (casual hookups) by Googling his email. I was looking for something else. When I confronted him about it, he denied it. Said he didn't make it. Lied to me over and over. Finally, he came clean. Saying the reason he lied was because he made it when he was high and didn't want the weed habit to come out as he knew I'd get mad. He never used the profile. Last log in/created date was the same. So I gave him another chance because he did not use it. But it really is driving me crazy still. High or not, I don't know why he did it. I know he gets lonely but I will be there soon. And I'm not sure how much weed really played a role in all of this. Was the weed thing just an excuse? Or could he really have been that high?

Trust is an important thing in a relationship. There is a little to start and it continues to grow and get stronger as long as both are not breaking any boundaries or rules you have set up for the relationship. If the two of you have not come up with it yet..i wouldnt wait until the day i move it. At that point you will be merely adding to a set of rules and boundaries already in place.
So far he has withheld information and lied to you. Behavior like that can change if he wants to change but you can not change him. Many people remain the same their entire lifetime and never change or grow to become a better human being. So watch him carefully and if you see a pattern develope of covering up and lieing and not keeping promises, then you will never be able to trust him so the relationship will not succeed. If you try to force the relationship to keep going on when rules and boundaries are not heeded, you both will be miserable. Some people drink to relax, they also can drink too much if there is something in their minds they are running or hiding from. Pot is same thing, you can have a little to relax, I use it very seldom but only when i get some real bad menopausal symptoms because it helps me with that. But a person can smoke too much and be so out of it, too relaxed to drive a car, not fast enough response, and may actually just sleep. You will have to wait to see how it affects him. It in itself is not a bad thing and actually has some medicinal properties if prepared a special way.

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I like this guy and I think he likes me back but I'm scared he's gonna ask me out and I'm gonna have to say no. My friends tell me to try and sneak it but I'm DEFINATELY not sneaky and I'm gonna get caught especially since he goes to the same church as me. I dont want to ask my parents when I can start dating cause it's kinda weird. What should I do :(

Your title says parents wont let me date yet and then you talk about not wanting to ask when you can start dating? Asking that is not weird. It is important information to know what their rules are and what their reasoning behind it is.
Here is something you probably havent thought of yet, what do your parents consider dating to be and what to do consider dating to be? It might be two very different things. So for all I know you and they may not be on the same page.
For example, many of the younger preteens and middle schoolers who write wanting to date really only want to be able to tell the person, ok i will be a couple with you at school. That means its not a secret, you walk around together holding hands and sit together at lunch and other breaks and all your classmates know you both like each other and that is it...thats what they consider dating to be. To your parents, dating means he comes to pick you up at the house and the two of you go off to a movie or elsewhere on your own without any chaperone. Depending on your age, they may have reason to feel that there must be an age limit. Parents are also going to have a harder time letting a daughter go out with a guy who could end up being someone very different from who she thought and try to force her or rape her. Its unfair I know, but I had 3 daughters and even moms will think about that. What I did is tell my daughters when they talked about guys that liked them, to invite the guy to come hang out with her at our house. Not a single guy ever took them up on it. So if any guy asks you before you've had a chance to talk to parents, be honest and tell them your parents haven't had any detailed convo with you yet about dating so you'd have to check it out. If he is wanting to go places other than your house with you. Ask if he'd be ok with starting for now by just hanging out at your house...if they give permission for that only. I will tell you this, your generation is dating and having sex way earlier than mine did. My daughters are all in their twenties and have boyfriends but they choose not to date in high school...their choice. So it may be hard to get your parents to feel ready to let you date. But you won't know anything for certain if you don't ask. And if they say no, ask what their reasons are. Dont just accept it. Sometimes us parents automatically say no so we dont have to be bothered to think about it. We have no real logical reason for saying no. But be polite and calm when you speak to your parents about this. If they aren't ready to give an answer and want to talk in private, let them know they can give thier final answer in a day or two.

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One of my friends was planning on attending a concert this weekend. She had asked me to come along, but I said no, because I just can't afford to buy a $200 ticket right now.

She was planning on going with other friends, but she found out that they were planning on doing something really stupid, and didn't feel comfortable going with them. She begged me to come along, and claimed that a relative of hers had given her a free ticket, which she wanted me to have. I said I'd go.

Then, she admitted that her parents had just gone online and bought me a concert ticket, because they wanted their daughter to have someone they trusted to go with.

I am VERY uncomfortable taking a $200 ticket. She told me not to worry about it, and not to try to pay them back, but now I feel like I HAVE to. I work part-time, am trying to save up for living expenses in college, and just don't have $200 right now. I don't want to ask my parents for it, because they bought me an expensive birthday gift and I don't want to take more from them.

So now I'm sort of in this position where I feel like I need to pay her parents back, but I didn't want them to buy me the ticket in the first place! What do I do?

Thanks :)

If they bought a ticket intending to have you pay them back without consulting you first, you should not feel obligated to pay them back. That was their choice.
Then it's possible it is a gift. To not clarify things and give them money back when it is clearly in their minds a gift is bad manners and will hurt the feelings of the giver.
While it is a bigger amount than most people would fork out for a daughters friend, that was their choice to give them some peace of mind.
Here's what you could say to them.
"Thank you so much for getting a ticket for me. I hope you understand that I am not able to repay you for it. If thats a problem, you could perhaps just give it to someone else?"

this is their opportunity to confirm it was a gift or realize that you wont be repaying them.
Your friend said its okay but you may have more peace of mind if you say something to them. Let them know you'd be glad to go to keep their daughter company so they can relax feeling she's with someone they trust.

Your friend knows you well, thats why she didnt tell you the truth at first where the ticket came from. She knew you would feel obligated to pay back. As far as I am concerned, that is their gift to you, accept it graciously and do not even give them a little money in return. As I said before, that's bad manners.

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(This is kind of confusing, sorry.)

So my mind is making me think I'm cross-eyed and I'm not. I really don't think it's my eyes. I can read and see, and even my parents say I don't look cross-eyed. It's my mind telling me I'm cross-eyed, and It won't stop.. I know that sounds weird, but what do I do about this then?

Actually I think I understand exactly what you are saying. I don't know if you wear glasses but I do. I believe this can happen to someone who doesn't wear glasses too. Sometimes our eyes can change. I remember a period of time over a week where each day my sight got worse. It was the same effect of like forcing yourself to look at your nose so that you see double vision almost, like being cross eyed.
It was so bad by the end of the week that I was scared to drive because I couldn't tell if the car ahead of me was in my lane or the lane next to me. I immediately made a rush appt. to see my eye doctor and they confirmed my eyes had changed. They didnt actually change in a weeks time but the subtle changes over time I could not pick up on. Then when it became an occasional cross eyed feeling but went away, I blamed it on my eyes being tired or stressed. It wasn't until it happened and remained that way i knew i had a problem. The doctors called it an Astigmastism, something that happened to my eyes besides my nearsighted-ness.
So the best thing to do is see an eye doctor to either confirm or rule this out. If you have no problem with your eyes, but you have thoughts about it, maybe something is going on in your subconscious mind that can be easily resolved by trying counseling or hypnotism. I'd go for the hypnotism first. Good luck dear.

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me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months but we've been friends for 2 years. we live in 2 different cities and i only get to seem him once a week. Were both highschool students, and we depend on your parents for rides. when we do hangout we go to the movies or i go to his house. I'm scared that he's going to get tired of us not being together and he'll leave me for someone that he'll be able to see everyday and i feel like he see's me as a friend or something, because sometimes he'll cancel or reschedule to hangout with his bestfriend. He's also made it clear to me that he isn't very affectionate and he doesn't like being loveydovey but it makes me really insecure. i'm not asking him to tell me he loves me.. but to show that he's still interested everyonce in a while. When i do bring that issue up he'll change for that moment and be sweet but then it'll go back to normal back to a simple conversation, ughh he's a simple texter which i hate! he mostly only uses one words.. like "cool" "nice" or "yup", im always the one trying to keep the conversation interesting. i feel like he doesn't care what im talking about. he doesn't even call ..we only text. im always the one asking him to come over and hangout or if im by his house to meet up but sometimes he'll make up an excuse that he can't go out or he doesn't have a ride, it gets me fustrated because i try so hard, i always go over there but he acts like its whatevers.. i even get i arguement with my parents because they tell me to stop looking for him and begging him and that if he really cared he would come over instead of me going over there.. i always ask him if he likes me or if hes bored of our relationship but he says everything is fine, sometimes he'll even get upset when i ask! i want to be honest with him and tell him but i don't want him to think im being dramatic or controlling..
dont get me wrong when we do hangout its an amazing time and i have alot of fun but idk what's going on.. it's more interesting in person than in text. i know he's not cheating, there is some-what trust but i just don't know..
is he tired of not being able to see me? is he tired of this long distance? should i move on?
his last girlfriend cheated on him.. or is he scared of commiting?
i've read all these articales about how to keep him interested and they say to ignore him and make him chase after me but this situation i think if i gave him the cold shoulder he would leave me,

Although you may see things you like in him...you did list many things you did not like. That came through quite clearly. If you think by pressuring him, begging him, nagging him or other tactics that you can get him to change to become the perfect guy for you, let me tell you it doesn't work for anyone. We can do nothing to force a person to change who they are or stop bad habits that are life threatening. Only they can change when deep inside they have a desire to do so.
So, the question really is, why would you spend time with a guy who is not right for you when you can go looking for the guy who IS right for you? Usually people try to stick with a not perfect relationship because dating is scary and they don't want to have to go through the awkwardness of first talking to someone you like again. Or the person feels that no one else is going to be interested in them so they will end up alone. Or they believe that they will not be able to find anyone better. Those are fears that keep us from moving forward. You already have distance keeping you apart. Seems the odds are stacked against you dear. Strike this up as a learning experience. Make a list of qualities you did like about him and a list of qualities you did not like. Tell him the distance thing is a problem and that there are some things you are discovering that you want in a guy and thats just not his personality so you are going to stop dating him. Never promise to change yourself for a guy and never expect a guy to change who he is to be right for you. It backfires. You lose respect for each other in time and you feel lost because you don't know who you are anymore having changed yourself for so many people that you are no longer You at core. This can bring up mental distresses in people and so on. Hope this helps you dear.

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Hi, 20/f. I was engaged in my previous relationship. He was 19/f and we was together for two years. He left me one week before Christmas of 2012 because he randomly became "unhappy". It's been six months and I think about him every single day. First thought in the morning, last at night. After three months of breaking up, I got invited by a friend to one of his parties and a couple of weeks later we were 'fuck' buddies. Stupid I know, but I missed his touch, kisses, ect. I learned my lesson the hard way because now we act like we do not know each other. He has made it very very clear that he has not missed me since he left, doesn't have feelings for me, ect.

Since we've been broken up, he has been with different women, sexually, not relationship wise. I was his first, if that makes sense?

So I guess he hasn't had a feel of what it is alike to be alone. I, on the otherhand, have not been with any other guy since we split, I just don't feel right. I don't have any interest in looking for a "boyfriend".

Well, 3 months ago, about 3 weeks after we stopped fooling around/communicating his roommate found my picture under his pillow along with a note I wrote him back in 2010. He swears up and down that it was his 'final' closure, which may be true; but when he's sober he talks negative about how he feels for me; but when he's drunk, its all positive and stuff. Confusing, ugh.


I know we are NOT getting back together, but for some reason my heart refuses to believe it. It's ridiculous. I'm so so scared that I will never get over him because of how much it still stings, and I think of him. When someone tells me about him and a new girl, I do get a little jeaous but it quickly goes away because my heart kinda knows it won't work out, because the girl isn't me. My gut and my heart keeps telling me we are meant to be, and he needs time to know what its like to be single because he doesn't really know what its like..?

But then again, Im trying to convience myself its really over; but its not working. I have prayed to God to give me a sign, and NOT LYING WHEN I SAY THIS, every time I pray, I always have a dream that my ex shows up at my door saying he made a mistake and he is sorry. But when I don't pray, I do not have any dreams of him. It's kinda weird??

I know if he was to come back, I should say no because I feel like alot of damage and time has passed and been done, but when I think about it, my heart feels full and I just wanna cry tears of joy.


I know time heals all, but I'm so scared I will NEVER get over him. I truely loved him to pieces, and he randomly leaves claiming he never thought about or missed me since before he left.


Help?

You said you learned your lesson the hard way? What lesson? About breaking up? Or using him just for sex later?
Is this the first serious relationship for both of you? While a few of us find the right person right off the bat at an early age, most of us have to go thru several relationships learning things along the way to be certain we have the right one if you mean it to be long term. How long was it between when you got engaged and then he left? He may have been thinking about the permanancy of it all and had second thoughts that maybe he wasn't ready to marry. There is no age at which we should ever feel in a hurry to marry. Our time is better spent really examining the pros and cons of the relationship and making sure the pros outweigh the cons. 2 years is a nice length of time to start but it may not have been enough for him. If he was seeing other girls, it was his way of trying to forget you even tho he cant as evidenced by your photo under his pillow. The pillow wasn't on a shelf or in a drawer but as close to him as possible as you would have been in bed. You both need to talk. You don't need the pressure of an impending marriage right now. What if you both got back together and agreed to not be engaged and just take more time together and see how you feel in a couple years. He is 19, and tho I married at 20, I realize now it really is an extremely young age at which to get married. For one thing, the part of our brains that helps us make the best decisions does not fully finish growing until we reach our mid twenties. Thats why as teens we often make some really stupid decisions. It gets better as you get closer to that age range but it's still a couple of years off at your age for you both. I think by time a couple more years go by, both you and he will be in a better place to think about whether you can handle being together forever. If not, then you'll have to move on. But right now, try what I suggested and see how it goes.

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. . . So I'm into this guy in my foreign language class, and now that the school year's ending, I want to ask him out---or at least suggest it (without actually SUGGESTING it) so that he asks me. We're both juniors in high school, btw!

Here's a little background information:
. . . In our class participation is highly encouraged to practice speaking Spanish, and the two students who participate the most in class are him and I. We used to sit at opposite ends of the class---our teacher purposely did that because we talk too much---and whenever there'd be something funny or fascinating happening during class, I noticed he would always look at me/we would make eye contact, as if we were laughing with each other. I didn't think too much of it then.
. . . Last week we were given the option to choose our seats for the rest of the school year since there's only a few weeks left. The guy chose the seat right next to mine, and now we can talk to each other more easily. For the last week and a half we've been watching a lot of episodes from a spanish soap opera in class, and every time something funny happens he would laugh and make eye contact with me, holding it for a few seconds.

. . . Now, I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but I think he may be interested in me. I feel like the way he acts in class sort of gives it away that he likes me, but I also don't want to be wrong, you know? Outside of class he's never really made an effort to speak to me, unless we were both already somewhere (like if we see each other on campus or are at a school event). But even at those times, it's just small talk.

. . . We're both into the same things. We both like a lot of the same bands, and we have the same favorite shows/movies. We have the same kind of personality too. We get each other's sense of humor, which a lot of other people don't. He's in a band and I'm a musician, so we both appreciate good music. We also dress pretty similar (like guy/girl versions of each other). But we're not too much the same that it would start to get boring.... So now all I'm thinking is, like, "match-made-in-heaven", you know? LOL jk. I think we'd just be really good together.

. . . Anyways, he has an outgoing personality (so do I), but when it comes to girls I know he's more on the shy side (as am I when it comes to boys). Also, I have been told by multiple people that he may be intimidated by me and afraid of asking me out because---and I don't mean to be conceited---I am out of his league. They say that I'm much more attractive than him, so he probably assumes I'm just not interested.

. . . I really don't know what to do because I would really like to hangout with him sometime alone so that we could have an actual conversation, but I don't know how to propose the idea. I just don't know how to go about it... What would be the right time, the right place? What would I suggest we do on this "date" or "hang" or whatever..
. . . Does he even like me?

. . . Your advice and personal experience would be much appreciated! Thanks so much.

Whether he realizes yet that he likes you, one thing is for certain,
You both enjoy experiences more because the other is there to experience it with. When there is something funny or the soap opera, he is looking to see if you enjoy it as much as him. I have a marriage where life is more special because the mate is there in it, even doing dishes together or grocery shopping is more fun. Though we can do such things alone, if given a choice, we prefer to be together experiencing every little nitty gritty bit of life together. That is a very special thing. I understand about guys feeling a gal is out of their league. Even tho hubby made the first move, he thought I would reject him. So hon, you will need to say something and base it on what you do know, you enjoy his company and being near him, hearing him laugh, hearing what his comments in class are, the eye contact and smiles. So if I were you, I'd say something like: It's gonna be a long summer and I know I can keep busy and have fun, but I think it would be lots more fun to have you sharing my summer with me. It doesn't have to be dates likes going out to dinner or a movie but just hanging out together. I enjoy you alot in spanish class and know I'd miss that during summer, so would you be okay with hanging out together for whatever, even if its something like washing a car together or helping mom weed her garden. Once you start hanging out and the conversation flows, you will come up with more formal things to do like a real date. Enjoy a wonderful summer with your guy. I am positive he will say yes...even if he doesn't quite believe you at first.

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can you get pregeant from having humping your pillow

Hon, I don't know how old you are so depending you may not have had sex education yet in school. Parents sometimes feel equally as awkwarding discussing it but your question reveals you have a lot to learn. Don't worry. We all started there, not knowing anything at all. You can't get pregnant from humping anything other than a male who has his cock anywhere near your private parts so that sperms is transfered by your hand, his hand, his penis, or some ejaculate on a part of his body that gets close to your vagina.
Do you watch you tube channels? Use facebook? There's a gal named Laci Green whose life is devoted to educating people on sex, gender, body image and dating and relationships. On FB you find her under "Official Laci Green" or on youtube, Laci Green with Sex+
It should be much easier and more comfortable relating to someone who is closer to your peer group age and I can say as an older person that she is very knowledge and gives the straight facts. She really researches carefully and knows her s*&t. Good luck dear.

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Can a woman become preganant if her boyfriend stuck his dick in her butt and ejaculated in her butt? Is it possibble to be pregnant?

While ejaculating in your anus doesnt get you pregnant, the hole for you anus is very close to your vagina and pee hole.
Just as it is possible for some watery fluid from your stools to leak down to you pee hole and get in and cause a bladder infection,
the same way, any of his cum near the outside of your anus can easily travel the short distance to your vagina. It is rare but it happens. If you have any reason to feel you may be late on your cycle, buy a pregnancy test and find out for sure.

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22/f. I am just looking for a person to tell me what I can do and how I can overcome this obstacle in my life. My mom is out of control. I use to be able to deal with it, but now I can’t. It’s affecting my health and I’ve already had to start taking pills to be able to be in control of my emotions. She is so completely and totally out of control and I can’t live this way anymore.

My depression is growing stronger by the days. My mom is like straight out of a scary movie. She does not work and has nothing to do during the day. So, she stalks me on facebook. Then, she calls me while I am at work to tell me that someone commented on my page and she wants to know why I’m talking to that person. Every friend that I’ve ever had has been “bad” in her eyes. The reason for this is because they take up my time. Same with boyfriends. Not necessarily that they are “bad” but she is extremely jealous. I am fearing for myself and for my children in the future. I want to get married, leave my house, and be happy. I want to raise a family. I have come very close to moving out before. I’ve been working since I started college. Every time that I have come remotely close, she has thrown herself into tantrums. My grandmother starts acting like she’s going to have a heart attack and they make it so dramatic. Then, they proceed to tell me that I cannot leave the house until I am married. I’m sure that I will be married soon. I have a boyfriend and it seems to be headed in that direction. But, not soon enough, as I need to get out of there now.

I remember I had a problem with my car once and I called my dad. She got pissed and started throwing things and didn’t speak to me for weeks. My parents are divorced, but it is NO reason to get to this level AT ALL. I called the man I thought could help me. I can’t even talk to my father without her getting jealous. I was at a baby party this weekend and I was talking to one of her cousins, whose about 40. We were just talking about careers and the possibility of me getting married in the near future and my mom tells me “what were you and her talking so secretly about?” OH MY GOSH! It’s like every time I look over my shoulder, she’s there, ready to attack.

She does not let me sleep in my own room. I have tried several times and she makes me go back to her room. When I am in my room, I read or talk on the phone until I’m ready to go to sleep. I can’t do that in her room because she’s sleeping. Not only that, but she’ll start asking a million questions. WHY ARE YOU READING? WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? It’s TOO much! I am a good daughter. I promise you. I don’t drink, don’t do drugs, and work very, very hard. My mom doesn’t work and I have 3 jobs to support her and myself. My mom stole my identity once I turned 18. I only found out about it recently. I pulled up a credit report because I was ready to find an apartment and it was horrible. I learned that it was her and decided not to press charges. I’m afraid that when I have my own place, she’ll probably go driving by the front of the house to see what’s going on. She’s THAT much of a stalker.

She treats me like garbage. She is always saying that I’m a bitch and saying things like “f you”. She says that I have ugly hair and that I’m not as pretty as she thought I’d be. She calls me a liar if I don’t call her during lunch to say that I’m having lunch. She’ll say “I thought you were working at 12. You were having lunch and you didn’t call me. You’re a liar!”

I need to fix my credit and pay all these debts before I can move out. I finish college in December, and then just need to find a full time job. What can I do? Is there any advice you can give me to move out earlier? PLEASE HELP!

Your mom is a controller. Its also possible she was co-dependant with your dad so when he left, her reason for living, or person to control,was gone. Since she likely was living her life through someone else, when that someone was gone, she switched to trying to live her life through you.
Before dad divorced her, did she treat you the same way?
You already know this is unhealthy for you. So try to find other living arrangements until you graduate. As a last resort ask friends if they can take you in for free perhaps, even someones couch to sleep on for the next 5-6 months is going to be an improvement over what you have been dealing with.

Once you are done with school, start looking for a job much further away, a different city. Do not jump into a relationship for a place to live or marry the first guy who asks cus you want so badly to be away from her. You can legally change your name without marriage. Look into that without letting mom or any relatives know. A sibling or cousin could be overheard and once she knews what city and what name to look for, she'll hunt you down again. You may have to be willing to totally start new somewhere like a person in the 'Witness protection program". But you will have your life back and that is what is important.

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I'm 17 year old male. and I wanna get it on with a female independent escort girl. Is there anyone that you know of or any where you can suggest me on finding one that will at least consider it? I don't want anything like find a nice girl and date them or anything like that. I want an older lady that will pleasure me!?! For a decent price of course! Please help me!! (Not worried about race or size. Just no STD's.)

Wait a year until you are 18, of legal age. then try an adult friend finding site, not a dating site. These are set up to be more the friends with benefits, heavy on the benefits. It is possible to find yourself an older women who would like to have sex with a younger guy. However as I understand it, this is only for those who are of legal age and older. Also, there is no charge so if you find yourself a regular sex partner, you won't be out a lot of cash and riddled with STDs.
So you will just have to masturbate for now.

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