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Parents won't let me date yet....
I like this guy and I think he likes me back but I'm scared he's gonna ask me out and I'm gonna have to say no. My friends tell me to try and sneak it but I'm DEFINATELY not sneaky and I'm gonna get caught especially since he goes to the same church as me. I dont want to ask my parents when I can start dating cause it's kinda weird. What should I do :(
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Your title says parents wont let me date yet and then you talk about not wanting to ask when you can start dating? Asking that is not weird. It is important information to know what their rules are and what their reasoning behind it is.
Here is something you probably havent thought of yet, what do your parents consider dating to be and what to do consider dating to be? It might be two very different things. So for all I know you and they may not be on the same page.
For example, many of the younger preteens and middle schoolers who write wanting to date really only want to be able to tell the person, ok i will be a couple with you at school. That means its not a secret, you walk around together holding hands and sit together at lunch and other breaks and all your classmates know you both like each other and that is it...thats what they consider dating to be. To your parents, dating means he comes to pick you up at the house and the two of you go off to a movie or elsewhere on your own without any chaperone. Depending on your age, they may have reason to feel that there must be an age limit. Parents are also going to have a harder time letting a daughter go out with a guy who could end up being someone very different from who she thought and try to force her or rape her. Its unfair I know, but I had 3 daughters and even moms will think about that. What I did is tell my daughters when they talked about guys that liked them, to invite the guy to come hang out with her at our house. Not a single guy ever took them up on it. So if any guy asks you before you've had a chance to talk to parents, be honest and tell them your parents haven't had any detailed convo with you yet about dating so you'd have to check it out. If he is wanting to go places other than your house with you. Ask if he'd be ok with starting for now by just hanging out at your house...if they give permission for that only. I will tell you this, your generation is dating and having sex way earlier than mine did. My daughters are all in their twenties and have boyfriends but they choose not to date in high school...their choice. So it may be hard to get your parents to feel ready to let you date. But you won't know anything for certain if you don't ask. And if they say no, ask what their reasons are. Dont just accept it. Sometimes us parents automatically say no so we dont have to be bothered to think about it. We have no real logical reason for saying no. But be polite and calm when you speak to your parents about this. If they aren't ready to give an answer and want to talk in private, let them know they can give thier final answer in a day or two.
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Well sneaking out could definitely make things worse. Plus if you get caught, your parents will make your life so much harder and you will lose their trust.
You should at least try to talk to your parents. Tell them you like this boy and you think it's mutual. Tell him you'd like to date him and if he does ask you out, maybe your parents could have him over for dinner to get to know him a little better.
The best thing to do is try.
If your parents still say no, then when he asks you out, just tell him you're not allowed to date yet. He'll understand and know that you are a good girl who respects her parents wishes.
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Honesty is the best policy even if you don't always get what you want from parents. By being upfront now you'll earn more trust later.
Just tell your folks that you plan to make decisions with your head all the time and that you really like this boy and are certain it's mutual and would like to proceed even though they are apprehensive as are you about this new development. The fact he is from church, well raised and his parents know yours works in favor. Have hm over for dinner with them so they can see you dating him is no major issue.
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