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I'm in kind of a bad position... what do I do?
One of my friends was planning on attending a concert this weekend. She had asked me to come along, but I said no, because I just can't afford to buy a $200 ticket right now.
She was planning on going with other friends, but she found out that they were planning on doing something really stupid, and didn't feel comfortable going with them. She begged me to come along, and claimed that a relative of hers had given her a free ticket, which she wanted me to have. I said I'd go.
Then, she admitted that her parents had just gone online and bought me a concert ticket, because they wanted their daughter to have someone they trusted to go with.
I am VERY uncomfortable taking a $200 ticket. She told me not to worry about it, and not to try to pay them back, but now I feel like I HAVE to. I work part-time, am trying to save up for living expenses in college, and just don't have $200 right now. I don't want to ask my parents for it, because they bought me an expensive birthday gift and I don't want to take more from them.
So now I'm sort of in this position where I feel like I need to pay her parents back, but I didn't want them to buy me the ticket in the first place! What do I do?
Thanks :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Just thank them for the ticket and the trust they have for you.
If they could not have afforded the ticket they would not have purchased it for you. What that ticket represents is the trust they have in you to look out for their daughter. That trust is worth a lot more than the face value of the ticket.
Trust is something you earn and is easily lost. You earned their trust and their respect. Trying to pay them back for something they did out of trust and respect for you in my book would be disrespectful.
Thank them for the ticket and that you know you and their daughter will enjoy the concert. That you will do all you can to make sure you both return home unharmed, happy and safe.
I'm sure you have worked very hard to earn their trust and respect. Doing this for them is a great way to pay them back for the trust and respect they have afforded you.
Enjoy the concert, be safe.
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If they bought a ticket intending to have you pay them back without consulting you first, you should not feel obligated to pay them back. That was their choice.
Then it's possible it is a gift. To not clarify things and give them money back when it is clearly in their minds a gift is bad manners and will hurt the feelings of the giver.
While it is a bigger amount than most people would fork out for a daughters friend, that was their choice to give them some peace of mind.
Here's what you could say to them.
"Thank you so much for getting a ticket for me. I hope you understand that I am not able to repay you for it. If thats a problem, you could perhaps just give it to someone else?"
this is their opportunity to confirm it was a gift or realize that you wont be repaying them.
Your friend said its okay but you may have more peace of mind if you say something to them. Let them know you'd be glad to go to keep their daughter company so they can relax feeling she's with someone they trust.
Your friend knows you well, thats why she didnt tell you the truth at first where the ticket came from. She knew you would feel obligated to pay back. As far as I am concerned, that is their gift to you, accept it graciously and do not even give them a little money in return. As I said before, that's bad manners.
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You didn't ask for it, you should just appreciate the gift. That's what friends do.
My dad is the same way. He hates borrowing money or people giving him money or gifts.
The thing is with friends and family, they do nice things for each other. Eventually if they ever need anything, you'll do something for them.
I think the way to appreciate is is to do something nice for them as a thank you. Maybe make them cookies or brownies. Write them a thank you card.
They aren't expecting you to pay them back. You didn't ask them for the money. I've had friends parents buy me tickets for amusement parks. They aren't as expensive and $200 but if I added up the times they've done that for me, it would be over $200. I was just really thankful for it.
It's really good that you do think this way but sometimes you just have to be happy and be grateful for it.
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Take the the ticket and appreciate it. This is what friends do. If the parents expected money in return, they wouldn't have bought it in the first place since you already said you weren't going. I say just enjoy the concert.
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