|
Vagina problem: Terrified of anything going near or in my vagina.
I'm going to be blunt and say that I am terrified of anything going near my vagina. I've never once used tampons or stuck my finger in there.
Until I was told to get the annual check up that all females get. I went to the doctor and she didn't even get the tip of her finger in and I was screaming. I was terrified and I'm still not sure why. She says it's some kind of trauma, but I've never had anything traumatizing happen to me. I'm just terrified of pain and discomfort. To show me it was okay, she used something to numb me down there and then had me stick my finger inside myself and it was probably the most disturbing thing in my entire life. I did not like it at all and I could never understand how someone could like it.
Unfortunately, she couldn't do the exam because I was so scared. I couldn't force myself to calm down. I basically had a panic attack-- again. I've had this happen to me twice now.
And I was told to get some help, and I went to a therapist, but it really wasn't helping. I can't NOT be scared of something. Being scared is what keeps me alive and comfortable. I'm actually scare of a lot of things, and this probably isn't healthy, but I really don't see myself changing any time soon. And I don't have enough money to get a new therapist-- and my mother's benefits only cover five visits per therapist.
What I'm asking is if there's anyway I can get myself to relax while I'm practicing with myself (my doctor told me she's giving me a year to practice, and I need to get used to TWO fingers). Is there something I can do or use that'll at least allow me to get over the heart attack of actually putting my finger in me? (I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, because it honestly makes me feel very stupid, but I need help) Mind you, I'm a nineteen-year-old female.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Hi Hon, Since it's not just one fear but many, there is no easy answer. While there may be things you took on as traumatic experiences in your life, even tho you may not believe this, theres a possibility that your soul is carrying remembrance of traumatic experiences from past lives. All of all emotions and feelings come from our subconscious mind. The sub is what gives you dreams at night. So treating your conscious or awake mind is not going to get at the root of what has your sub so terrified. In your subconscious dwells your inner child. Children are impulsive, carefree, playful but also easily impressed by things around them. Watching scary movies can traumatize a child and then the child fears monsters hiding in their dark bedroom at night. The monsters are not real, but the fear is and that will prevent them being able to sleep alone. The unknown fears in your sub have to be addressed. Your sub needs to be shown that whatever is scary is in the past or a past life and can no longer affect you. For you to consciously follow what Dr said to try without addressing your sub conscious is not going to be successful. Even if your vagina were totally stretched out and there is no possibility of having any physical pain, psychologically the fears will still affect your ability to use tampons, vibrators, having a healthy sexual relationship. I understand not having much time with each therapist. So all I can think of is using a hypnotist if they are covered because that is what I think will have more impact because this process works with the subconscious mind. They can help you to go back in time in this life to see what may have scared you. If nothing is found they can take you back to before this life. They help you through the scary experience by coaching you to imagining a happy ending to what really happened, changing the scenerio's. Some hypnotists are specialized in taking you back in what's called a regression session. I am not an expert. But from people I have talked to or read about in such situations, they have said hypnosis really works. I even had a close friend helped by it. Good luck.
]
First of all trauma doesn't have to be a physical trauma. It could have been a mental trauma such as something that mom or dad or even a grandparent, as good intentioned as they may have been, said to you about someone touching you there.
When I was young my mother, with all good intentions, traumatized me against dogs. I was well into my adult years before I was able to overcome this and I do not even remember what she said to me; though it stuck for over 30 years.
If dad is still in the picture even though he may not be living with you. His employer may have an EAP program as well as moms employer. Have them both check to see if they do, most medium to large companies do. If so these EAP programs cover visits to therapist. The number of visits vary between programs. You should be able to use and exhaust both programs if necessary. EAP is different and separate from the health insurance program.
Once you find out if they have an EAP program, you are definitely covered under moms as it sounds like you live with her. Call the number for the program and ask for a referral to a therapist. You may be more comfortable with a female so ask for one.
Then call the therapists office and speak with the therapist before you make an appointment. Feel her out to make sure she is someone you are comfortable talking to. It is important that you are comfortable with her as you need to be able to quickly open up and tell her your deepest darkest secrets, if needed, so she can get to the root of your problem quickly and help you overcome it. It sometimes takes see two or three therapists to find one you can work with. So the fact that the first one did not help you is not strange or unheard of.
I'm not a doctor, none of us are. I have feeling that either your parents or another adult, well intentioned as they may have been, scared you when you were very young about touching yourself or letting others touch you in private places. Some parents do this to keep children from masturbating because they think masturbation is dirty or evil. It is neither but that is another subject.
There is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself, or allowing others to touch you in those places for the right reason especially now that your an adult. One of those right reasons is a female exam by a doctor. These exams are very important if you wish to avoid some very serious and life threatening illnesses.
If you wish to avoid some of the pain of your first sexual intercourse, and not all first intercourse's are painful. You can ask your GYN to remove your Hymen during your female exam. She can do so painlessly without the tearing which occurs during intercourse and she can numb the area before she removes it.
I do not recommend you do that as I'm told that retrospectively; some of the pain that comes with the first intercourse for a women is part of the experience that later in life is cherished if done with a kind and gentle man. It is your body and your choice. I put the suggestion out there for you to chose.
]
More Questions: |