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do i need to break up?
Hey
Im 16 my boyfriend is 17 and we have been dating for almost a year. I love him alot and we never get into fights. He is so sweet to me but sometimes i feel like he relies on me too much for sexual pleasure. He isnt a pervert by any means(trust me i have already expireienced those..) and my parents love him. The other thing that annoys me the most though is when we are texting and then he just stops in the middle of a conversation or he takes 30 minutes to respond... i have talked to him about this before and he tries to make improvements but it still hapens all the time. When we hang out together we always have a great time though and i love him alot. So should i break up with him or not? Is that a good enough reason to.break up with him or is that unfair?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
17-yo boy has sex on the brain? No kidding. If you want a guy who doesn't want sex all the time, you'll have to wait until middle age.
As for the phone thing: I had this problem with a chick. I think the ting causing it was that we had different mobile phone companies, and they didn't exchange texts promptly between their machines.
If you can't handle not having his attention focused on you for more than 30 minutes, if you nag him about it and make him promise to "make improvements", well, you are using each other aren't you? He's using you for sex, you are using him for attention and validation.
It sounds bad, but it's pretty normal. Maybe you should both try to cool it once in a while.
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Have you talked to him about the sexual stuff? If you haven't, that's where you should start. Explain to him why you feel like he relies on you too much for it.
I actually did used to feel that way with my boyfriend. We would mess around a lot during the beginning of our relationship but since we talked, it's been at a good medium for the both of us. So that's how you should be with him, where it's more comfortable for both of you.
As for the texting, if he tries to make improvements, that's really good. Some girls try talking to their guy about it and they never even try to work on it.
I don't really want to keep using myself as an example but my boyfriend used to text me a lot, all the time. We've been together for almost two years and we hardly text because he just doesn't like texting. Every once in awhile we'll have a good conversation over texting but it's not often.
So maybe try phone calls more or just text every once in awhile.
You should break up with him if you are unhappy with the relationship and if you're unhappy with him. If these two things are going to make you so unhappy that you don't want to date him anymore, then that's fine. But just make sure you remember that no relationship will be absolutely perfect.
So just take your time to figure out if you can handle it or if you can compromise with him.
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Only you can determine whether there is an equal amount of sexual and other activities that make up a friendship and relationship. If one of you feels anything is out of balance, then a couple should have a good talk. He may feel all is okay but if you are having concerns, then there is something you need to bring up to him as a concern.
As long as you are getting your sexual needs met and are feeling fulfilled then there is likely no problem there. Though I will mention that some married couples are mismatched in what they require to be satisfied sexually. Activity 2x a week is great for one partner but the other wants it once a day. There's nothing wrong with either person...some are naturally wired with a higher libido. The trick is to find a partner that is a great match for you.
You say the greater problem is his communication by texting. Could it be that he has ADD? His attention just breaking off mid sentence surely sounds like that. But then again,he might just do better communicating verbally. Lots of guys are not into typing as in texting or typing online like facebook or twitter. When you are not together, is it possible to try an actual phone call instead and see if that corrects the problem. I would try to work things out first. If in the end, things have not improved, then you need to decide if these are little issues you can ignore long term, or are they are big deal. Relationships are hard work with both partners working hard to make it work. Doesnt work if one is making all the adjustmensts and changes and not the other. I have the feeling that you truly will be committed to working things out. Lets hope he is too. Good luck dear.
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