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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm an 18 year old female, and have been experiencing chest pain on and off for approximately the past year. It will occur every now and then and lasts a few days when it does, and generally consists of: chest pain, an ache in the chest, feeling as if something heavy is resting on my chest, shortness of breath, having to keep taking really deep breaths, and is sometimes accompanied by back ache, stomach ache and feeling a bit under the weather.

This worries me a lot, especially as I just read something which described these things as symptoms of a heart attack - now, obviously I haven't been having heart attacks, but it's certainly worrying that I get the symptoms of them.

I'm not sure why this could be - I'm young, of a healthy weight and not dangerously unhealthy, I don't think. I am a little unfit, and definitely need to exercise more and eat a little healthier (which I'm starting to do now), but not to the point where I'd expect it to cause this chest pain. My mum also suggested that it could be anxiety-related - in the past year I have suffered a lot from anxiety, and my chest pain will often occur after I have been panicking, after stressful events or if I'm angry. Whenever my anxiety levels are high, basically. However, it occurs at other times, too.

I've also noticed that it comes about whenever I've had very little sleep, if I've spent a long amount of time in bad conditions (for example, the night before last, I was up all night in the cold outisde, and have been experiencing these symptoms since) or if I've been drinking (which I don't do that often.)

So my questions are: What do you think are the reasons behind this? And what should I do about it? Also, do you know if this is common, or very rare in people my age?

Thank you.

Stress and panic attacks are a definite possibility for the pain you are feeling. Not being a doctor and even if I were, not being able to examine you over the web; there is no way to say for sure.

I would suggest you make an appointment with a Cardiologist. This is a doctor who is best capable of diagnosing problems related to your heart. If there is nothing wrong with your heart, and hopefully there is nothing wrong. The doctor will refer you to another doctor who can help you for the anxiety and panic attacks.

i am 12 and i am terriffied of shots! i feel like i am going to die!!! will you help me get so i am not so terriffied of getting my tdap/tetnus, whooping cough shot? my appointment is soon!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The biggest fear about getting a shot is the fear itself. If the person giving the shot is skillful you will barely feel it. Take it from someone who has to undergo a therapy that requires huge needles, needles larger than the ones used to give inoculation, inserted in my back three times a year to deliver pain medication to an injured spine. Those needles only hurt a little bit.

You cannot refuse to get the inoculations. Failure to get the proper immunizations will mean you will not be allowed to attend school.

The best thing to do is to tell the nurse that you hate shots. Your not alone in hating shots a lot of people have the same fear. Some people find it easier to watch so they know what is coming. Others prefer to turn their head away.

I think you might find turning your head away and finding something in the office to focus on. Focus on that item. Concentrate on it as hard as you can. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth in a steady rhythm. The nurse will realize what you are doing and when she sees you are properly focused she will give you the shot. I'm fairly certain it will work for you. It has worked for me with the needles I get in my back.

I honestly feel like my step brother has hooked up a hidden camera in my room. His friends will come over and they have this name that they call me, and i'm pretty sure it involves what I do in the privacy of my room. I have looked up how to detect a hidden camera but I don't even know where to begin looking. Like the internet says they can be hidden in tvs and vcrs but how the heck are you supposed to open a vcr or tv to find a camera? I want to confront my mom about it but she'll just think im crazy, and she'll ask me why I think theres a hidden camera in my room and I really dont want to explain the meaning behind their joke.. What do I do? How do I know if theres a camera in my room? I mean, the internet also says "look for any red or green dots" well my tv has a red light on it but it came like that and so does my dvd player, and dvr. Please someone help. I am at a loss and I just want to get to the end of this and find out if there really is a camera in my room. Oh and how long does it take to even hook up a hidden camera?

There are a lot of factors at play here. If you feel you are being spied upon then the possibility you are is high. Leaving the legal problems involved aside for the moment, your step-brother, if it is him, is invading your privacy. For this reason alone you need to tell your mother regardless of how embarrassing you may be in telling her. You are entitled to your privacy and on moral grounds alone he is wrong.

One place to look if you have not already done so and if your room is accessible from the attic or attic craw space. Is to look up there. Be careful, all you need to do is poke your head up and look to see if there are wires coming from your room to his. They will be thin wires much different in size from any other wires that you may see in the attic. They will most likely be laying loose on the floor of the attic.

Now to the legal side of the coin. Depending on your ages and if the police are needed to find the spy cam. There is the possibility of child pornography, child abuse, sexual predator and pedophile charges that can be brought against your step-brother. He could be forced to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. These are life altering real world serious charges you can bring if the police are brought in to hunt for and find a spy camera.

Please talk to your mom. The fact that you perceive being spied upon makes it real. Therefor she needs to do something. Even if that something is to ask the police for help.

I want to stop masterburting and i don't know what to do. Please help me.

Unless your masturbating is is all consuming. Meaning it is taking you away from doing other things, that all you want to do is masterbation. There is no reason to stop.

According to a study I read; 95% of us masturbate. Not 95% of the respondents masturbated at sometime in our lives. The study relates that out of the general population they surveyed 95% of the respondents said the masturbate for sexual relief or as part of their sex play.

If you masturbate for sexual relief and do not masturbate as an all encompassing activity to the detriment of everything else. Then you are part of the 95% of the population. Your normal, you won't go blind, hair won't grow in the palm of your hand and nothing will fall off.

All you need to do is when you do feel the need to masturbate is to do so in private. Your bedroom is a good place and make sure to lock the door so as not to be intruded on.

ok i need to know if it is possible that in the near future we will be able to time travel. like im 13 so obviously i havent lived inthe 60s. however, i really want to go back in time and meet the beatles desparately. is it quite possible that time travel could be invented in my lifetime? also in addition, is anyone even trying to invent time travel right now?! and please list possible time travel theories as well. though i should prob be thinking about guys in my own generation, these are the thoughts that run through this 13 year olds mind. dang i was totally born in the wrong era! anyway, help a girl out and answer these 3 questions. kisses!

I like what Gunner wrote. Anything is possible when if we put are minds to it. When it comes to time travel I don't think this is a high priority as this would allow for the altering of history which would in turn alter the future.

If and when we ever have the ability to alter history one would think we have the ability to control the future. I not only think we should not control the future it would be wrong to even try.

if someone has hooked up a camera in your bedroom do they have to watch it from that household (i live in a house) or could that person watch it from someone elses house? I need to know that way I know where to look for the hookup!

Is it possible for someone to spy on you with a hidden camera in you bedroom from a remote location? Yes it is. There are numerous websites dedicated to spy cameras set up to spy on people in their bedrooms. Do these people know their being spied on? I don't know that they do.

If you feel someone has set up a spy camera in your bedroom call the police. They are far better equipped to locate and trace the signal then you are to just finding the camera.

Being spied upon is a serious crime and the perpetrator needs to be caught. Finding the camera and disconnecting it just solves a problem for you. Letting the police find and then trace the signal back to the operator allows for the perpetrator to be punished.

my father hates me since i was 13 years old in now am 17. and am afriad of him ever since he had went to jail cause of me for abuse. my mom and him hasnt spoken sence and when i dream of him its like nightmare and i more afriad of him. I ALSO HIDE FROM HIM WHEN HIS IN THE HOUSE IN HE DONT EVEN ASK IF AM AROUND OR NOT!

I'm not sure what your question is. What I am sure of is that you are probably in need of help to learn to deal with the abuse that sent your father to jail. This is not something you get over, it will never go away but you can learn to live with it without it ruining your life.

I would like you to call and organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They can help you find, through one of their centers near you, professional help to learn to properly deal with what has happened to you.

If your father abused you he should not be allowed around you now that he has been released from prison. They can help you with that as well. Please call RAINN at 1-800-656-HELP.

Should your father in any way shape or form threaten you or you feel threatened by him. Please do not hesitate to call the police. He has no right to threaten you in any way shape or form.

Please call the volunteers at RAINN. Tell them what has happened, what is happening and they can and will help you.

i have had a sore throat for about a month..already took antibiotics and hasnt helped and seems to get worse...do i need my tonsils taken out?

TO be brutally honest; this is something a doctor would have to decide. None of us are doctors and even if we were we cannot examine you over the web. To make such a decision one needs to look at you tonsils to see if they are enlarged and possible infected.

There is no way around it you need to see the doctor. If the doctor say they need to come out then they need to come out. The operation is relatively simple. You will have a mild sore throat for a few days and cane eat all the ice cream and ices you want. A few days in bed and then you should be back to your old self.

In the old days you spent a night in the hospital. Today this is routinely done as an outpatient procedure.

I'm trying to plan a trip to the U.S for next June/July. I'm in the UK and on a budget so as my flights out there are going to be pretty expensive, I'm trying to keep costs down as much as possible once I get to America. I'm not entirely sure where exactly I'm going yet, but I think I'll probably be flying out to Vancouver, Canada to stay with family before flying down to LA. From LA I think I'd travel by train to Austin, Texas; New Orleans, Louisiana; Chicago, Illinois; and then on to Wisconsin to visit my friend and flying back to the UK from there.

I guess there are two parts to my question:
1. Which places could I incorporate into my route that are worth visiting? After I leave Canada, I'd like to spend around 3 weeks in America so I want to see as much as possible.
2. Is travelling by train the best/cheapest option?

Traveling by train here in the states is not as nice as it is in the UK. Bus travel is probably the cheapest for m of travel and you will see more, though it is not as comfortable as the train.

Amtrak does offer a rail pass similar to a Britt Rail pass, something you should look into. I did some checking and under current fares an all coach booking on the routing you show would be about $250.00. Consider this when pricing the rail pass. Also check the fares again next year as prices will most likely go up.

Not knowing what you want to see while you are visiting I can only suggest you do as much research as possible. LA is nice if you want to visit Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm. If these are not of interest then I would suggest San Francisco as a better place as it offers more diverse places to see and a better location to leave from should you want to visit some other places than the ones you named.

New Orleans is a great place to visit. A definite foodie place but it is expensive as is Chicago. Other places to visit would be some of our National Parks such as Yellowstone National Park.

Three weeks is sufficient time to see a lot of this country if you plan properly. Amtrak I believe has some type of package plan to see different areas of the Western parts of this country.

Something you may like is a river cruise up the Mississippi from New Orleans to St Louis. If you want you could leave from St. Louis to the UK or go on from there to Chicago. The river cruises are on old style paddle boats which cruised the river like the ones back in the 18th century.

I am a dream chaser, nothing holds me back and i live out my dreams. I want to go to an art institute for college, but my second love would be premed.
what are the best art institutes in the usa?
As i look at the list of majors for kansas city art institute, there isnt a single one i Dont want..id be truely happy with any of them from studio art like graphic design to ceramics or painting, theater, music, writing.
Can u major in it all for the same price?
Which major has the most jobs or gets you the most money?
What art jobs are there?
In highschool half my classes are honors art being one of them. im pretty smart and love to know how stuff works, and i love people. emergency or specialist doctor, special education, art therapy, business marketing all intrest me.
is there any jobs that deal with art but mainly one of thoes others?

You have some very diverse interests. Arts and science do eventually cross paths which does bring medicine into your circle of interest quite nicely.

You ask a variety of questions. Lets start with money: While it is nice to make a lot of money if you are not truly happy with what you are doing, all the money in the world will not make you happy. So I suggest you put money at the bottom of the list after finding a career you like then looking for what pays the most in that field.

Kansas City Art Institute: I would suggest that first you call them and speak to someone in the admissions office. After asking them the questions you have posed here you can decide if you want to schedule a visit to the college.

All the careers you listed interest in are wonderful careers. They all pay well and pretty much pay in a descending order as you have them listed. What you have to do know is find out more about each career and whittle down your choices. Job following may be a way to do so.

For the medical field call your local hospital employment office. Ask them if they have a job following program or if they will develop one that will allow you to job follow in the emergency room. For the other careers you school guidance counselor should be able to help you.

I hate my stepdad.. He married my mom about 11.5 years ago and hes turned into an ASS! He absolutly HATES ME and I do the same. He doesnt even Treat me like a human. Sometimes i do but he says i talk to my mom like a dog. Yet my mom says they are soulmates....Wow O.o Welp He pushes her and Treats her like SHIT and i cant do anything about that.?? I want to live with my Real dad but my mom says no. They also say are getting a divorce and im like YEAH WHOOP:D)In my head) But then they dont.. Help!!!

There is very little you can do to help your mom. What you can do to help yourself depends on how old you are and whether your dad is willing to go back to court for a change in custody.

If dad is willing to go back to court for a change in custody you may be old enough where the court will take your request to live with your father under consideration.

This is not a guarantee and requires a lawyer, probably a court appointed , I will call them a guardian for the moment as I cannot remember the legal term, for you, and probably a visit from social services to both parents homes. It could get very ugly for everyone.

It all starts with your bio-dad going to court for a change of custody; so you need to talk with him.

How do I become more extroverted? I am very shy around people I don't know but after I meet someone I'm a social butterfly? I don't understand myself lol

I have always consider myself to be an introverted person. So what does this introverted person do for a living these past 30 plus years. I was a representative for manufactures of different products. It was my job to go up to people I didn't know at their place of business and convince then they should use my companies product. Great job for and introvert, right.

Well it must have been because I have made a wonderful living doing so, although I have had to work very hard to overcome the problems of being an introverted person. Sometime I feel that was a plus factor in my success as a sales person. I knew my limitations and had to find ways to overcome them.

Being an introvert does not have to be a handicap. To me being an introvert was more like having a safety net, one that made me stop, look and listen before jumping into the pot, so to speak. I was and still am a little more cautious than the brethren. I'm not one of the load mouth salesman every one equates a salesman to be.

In my entire career my sales have always been in the top 5% of the company many time the sales leader. No one has yet convince me that my being introverted has been anything more than a plus factor for me.

That is what being an introverted person has been for me and it can be for you or any other introverted person. What being introverted person means to me is that we are a little more cautious in our selection process as we go through life. Once we have made that selection and our comfortable we can be more extroverted.

If you agree with me then do as I have done. Use being an introvert as a safety net. There is nothing wrong with being cautious. Once you are comfortable, as you have found, your extroverted personality comes out.

She acts Like im invisible.. I will Clean and she wont notice. I will get in trouble and she hates me. I hate her Husband. And she Thinks whatever he thinks. But I feel Like she doesnt love me. Please dont Lecture me like yeah she does and all that. Thanks(:

I wish I knew how old you are as it would help me answer you.

First let me say how sorry I am that your mother treats you this way. For whatever reasons your mother has for getting a new husband, I'm assuming he is your step-dad, her responsibilities as a parent doesn't stop.

From what you have written it is hard to say just where your relationship with your mother falls. You have not written that she is smacking you around so it does not appear that you are being physically abused.

You are feeling unloved, which does not meet any criteria for mental abuse that I'm aware of. If mom is giving you a good home, keeping you well fed, seeing to your physical well being and all other things a parent is expect to do for a child, then she is doing the minimum society expects of her.

The fact that mom may not notice you clean the house, does not mean she does not love you. The fact that when you get in trouble she may get mad at you, does not mean she hates you. What it does mean is the fact that you feel this way makes it this way and that is wrong, on her part. No child should feel unloved.

I don't know of any government agency you can turn to for help. I can only suggest a few things you can try. The first thing is to try and get mom alone, maybe a girls day with a trip to the mall. While your with her tell her, calmly how you feel. Then listen to what she has to say.

Is there and Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent you can talk to. IF so talk to one of them and tell them how you feel. Maybe one of them will talk to your mother for you.

Lastly when school opens again, if it has not already done so, talk to a guidance counselor. They may know of some agency that can help you.

Hi I'm 10 Years old and I started my period...
How do I tell my mom?

Hi, I know you may find getting your period embarrassing,especially at such a young age. It shouldn't be. Your period is a normal bodily function for a young lady. Your period says a lot about you and your development, things that we as parents need to know so that we can guide you through these times; so that you can continue to grow and mature into a healthy young lady.

You have to trust me here when I say this and I say this to help you. Mom has been through this and whether you are her youngest or oldest child she remembers what it felt like to get her first period. She may not be expecting you to get yours this early but she is ready to teach you the proper way to care for yourself. She will also tell you things you need to know and what to expect as you go through puberty.

You are entering a wonderful and confusing time in a young women's life. Your mother can be a big help to you during this time. You should never be embarrassed or ashamed to go to mom with questions concerning the changes that will occur as you go through puberty. Mom can also be a big help in how to deal with boys but that is something you can choose to go to mom with or not.

So to answer your question: Just take mom aside; out of earshot of your brothers or sisters and tell her; "mom I got my period. As I said this is a normal bodily function and one mom knows is coming. She is waiting, I'm sure for you to tell her so she can help you.

so i recently had surgery on my knee and the doctor said i get my stitches out in about two weeks. i was just wondering how they take the stitches out and if it will hurt or not?

I've had knee surgery twice and about to have it again. Having the stitches out is painless and takes maybe a minute. If it takes longer the doctor stopped to have coffee.

When the doctor put them in your knee was swollen. When they come out the knee will be back to its normal size and the stitches will be loose. The doctor will take a pair of scissors and cut the stitches apart then using tweezers pull then from the skin. You won't feel a thing.

If your squeamish ask the doctor if he/she can spray the area with a numbing spray they have. You won't need it but if it makes you more comfortable I'm sure the doctor will do so.

well i started cutting myself my 8th grade year [im now a senior] and ive been clean of cuts for about a year. inever did deep cuts right across my wrist, ionly did slight ones throughout my arms. lately ihave had alot going on and im trying my hardest not to but icant help but to think about starting back cutting. HELP? any substitutions for cutting?

Please do not cut yourself. Cutting is dangerous no matter where on your arm or anywhere else you cut yourself.

There are substitutions for cutting yourself. One is to put a rubber band loosely around your wrist and when you feel like cutting you snap the rubber band instead. It may sound strange but has worked well for many people with anxiety problems. This is a substitution for cutting but not a solution to the underlying problem.

While I realize you are not truly looking to harm yourself or commit suicide, I am going to suggest you call the National Suicide hotline anyway. They can offer you help for the underlying problem that is causing you to want to cut yourself. Whatever is going on in your life that is causing you to want to cut needs to be addressed with the help of professionals. The volunteers at the suicide hotline can put you in touch with professionals near you who can help you. The number is 1-800-273-Talk.

Below is a link to their crisis center locator page. Just type in your zip code to find a center near you. You can either call the center or go there to talk with someone. While the name may say one thing the goal of this organization is to help people in crisis. When you get the urge to cut you are in crisis. Please either call or locate a crisis center near you and visit them. You do not have to hurt yourself to feel better.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/CrisisCenters/Locator.aspx

My darling boyfriend is turning 18 soon. What is a thoughtful gift for him. We've been together 7 months if that helps. I'm really bad at thinking of gifts to give! Please help !!

When I was 18 my girlfriend bought me an ID Bracelet with her name etched on the reverse side. When my son turned 18 his girlfriend bought him some camping equipment he wanted.

It is hard enough to suggest a gift for someone you know let alone someone you don't know. I would suggest you buy something that is meaningful to him, maybe, if affordable for you, something he wants but would not buy himself. Something that would always remind him of you.

Whatever you decide make sure it is tasteful and something he can show his mother. I say this as it is for your own protection that the gift be tasteful and not anything risque.

A few of my close friends have started drinking and hooking up with random people at parties & they're only 16, yet i'm totally against it because i have my own morals and i have made pledges to myself for certain reasons. But now they exclude me by not inviting me to things and such because i"m ultimately not "cool" enough because i don't drink and stuff. my best friend has ditched me for another one of my friends because she is in to drinking and thought she got pregnant. I've never dissed them for what they do, i just don't do it and they respect that. but it doesn't mean they have exclude me from everything? Please help, i don't know what to do ???

First of all congratulations for not giving in to peer pressure. When all is said and done all we have of ourselves is our principles. I know that is a little deep but what it means is if we must judge ourselves it is our principles that we must judge ourselves by.

There are reasons alcohol is restricted to young people 21 and older. There are a reasons why parents, teachers and clergy are constantly telling teenagers to refrain from sex and alcohol until they are older. It all has to do with maturity.

Immaturity has a lot to do with why your friends exclude you, They are immature; to immature to understand what you understand and why you have the principals you have.

In a sense a dirty trick has been played on teenagers. They're to young to be adults but they have the bodies of adults. They are constantly being told to stop acting childish and act like the young adults they are. So the immature part of them says well if I'm suppose to act like an adult then I will and they drink and have sex just like an adult. They view anyone who doesn't feel like they do as being immature. When in fact it is just the opposite.

You are not going to be able to change them, though they will work hard to change you, don't let them. You don't need an unwanted pregnancy or an arrest record for underage drinking. While juvenile records are supposedly sealed it does show up in a background check that you have a juvenile record. If you are looking a career that requires a security clearance this could have an unwanted affect on your future.

High school friends will not be life long friends. In a few years you will all go your separate ways. Some to college, some into the military and others off to other parts of the world to work. I know it is lonely to sit home on a Friday or Saturday night but this is something you can help yourself with by looking for groups that share some of your same interest or hobbies. Through these groups you will meet others like yourself and make new friends.

Your friends that are drinking and hooking up are not just looking for trouble, trouble will, not may, will eventually find them. You are much better off not being included and sticking by your principles.

ok im 12 years old about to turn 13. I want to see a movie that is rated R but my mom won't let me see it, even though shes let me watch other R rated movies before. How can I convince her to let me watch it? (Please don't say that I'm too young to watch it anyway, I need advice not a lecture)

LM gave you some good advice. I'll take it a step further. Before going to mom and asking her what her objection to this movie is. Think about the "R" rated movies she has allowed you to see. What about these movies, in your mind made them "R" rated. Now think about the movie that you want to see. Try and identify what it is in this movie that is different from the others that you have seen.

There are many things that it could be from frontal male/female nudity to soft porn. Once you believe you have identified the reason for moms objection you can then go to mom and ask her, politely and calmly, what specifically she objects to in this movie. Since you have already done your research as to what you believe her objections to be you can now calmly discuss why her objections may be out of touch with today's reality.

There is a saying knowledge is power. If you go to mom with knowledge of what she may object to with a valid counter opinion you might just surprise your mom not just with your opinion but with your maturity. This works in just about any situation where you face an objection. Research the subject matter and prepare a counter proposal to the objection will always put you in a better position; for most people do not expect a well thought out counter proposal to their objection. What they expect is an argument. Arguments can be walked away from counter points or proposals require people to stop and think, even parents.

I've been a salesman for most of my life and this is how I stayed at the top of my game. I never expected my son to use this on me until he did. When he did he won more than he lost. Why, for one thing I admired his creativity in finding a way around my objection by using my own skills against me. For another his counter points at times told me things I did not know and gave me reason to rethink my objection.

I don't know if this will work with your mom but it is worth a try if you really want to see that movie.

Will a returned item show up on my credit card statement?

Yes all transactions against your credit card will show on your statement. Purchases show as debits and returns show as credits.

Some stores do not process credits as fast as they do purchases so it is possible that if you return something late in your statement cycle it will not show on your statement for that month but will appear on your next statement.

If you have used your banks debit card and were to look at your banking account online. The transaction for the credit would show as in process. In process items do not appear on your banking statement until the merchant actually processes the transaction through their account.

I hope this helps.

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