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I don't want to get drunk and have sex with random people, so my friends have ditched me. :(
A few of my close friends have started drinking and hooking up with random people at parties & they're only 16, yet i'm totally against it because i have my own morals and i have made pledges to myself for certain reasons. But now they exclude me by not inviting me to things and such because i"m ultimately not "cool" enough because i don't drink and stuff. my best friend has ditched me for another one of my friends because she is in to drinking and thought she got pregnant. I've never dissed them for what they do, i just don't do it and they respect that. but it doesn't mean they have exclude me from everything? Please help, i don't know what to do ???
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, the choice they have made is that the partying is more important than you. Now if you have any dignity, you will recognize that and find new friends.
Btw, losers love nothing more than to drag other people down with them.
Remember, that you only get one shot at this life and you are the only one who can live it. So do what is right for you and if friends want to go by the wayside in the bargain well, that's their choice. If you don't stand strong, you will be allowing yourself to possibly be sabotaged and you will never forgive yourself for it. So it is time to move on!
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You ought to be really proud of yourself for staying true to yourself and who you are and not giving in to peer pressure :)
I have to say I find your maturity inspiring. Ask yourself if these people are willing to not make an effort with you because you aren't willing to drink and have sex can you actually count them as "friends"
I know its tough and you must be feeling incredibly lonely but these people are not worth hanging around with. They are way too immature.
In fact my best friend is a lot like that. She used to hang out with me and another girl in school but then ditch us at parties and stuff to get drunk and go off with random guys. She eventually moved schools and it was the best thing that ever happened to me I was not stuck in her immature shadow I branched out and I found my current group of friends who are just amazing. We have the best fun and we drink (Im legal) but responsibly. We have good morals values trust and loyalty. You will find a group of friends like that who are just as mature as you. Its hard leaving friends but it happens in life so many times.
They might look down and say your not cool,but your the one having the last laugh. When they grow up and finally mature if they ever,they will be the ones thinking god if only we had sense. Especially your girl friends if they get pregnant which is highly likely at the rate they are going.
Remember they are the ones building up an endless list of regrets and mistakes. Not you. :) Branch out. Youl find better responsible friends. They are out there somewhere join after school groups volunteer :)
Hope this helps
Much <3
Jess
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Well I'll be damned!
Congrats on being one of the smart ones, I didn't even think there were any left these days.
I can surely tell you that these aren't real friends, These friends have apparently fallen under a bad influence. Sometimes people change, I've yet learned to except that myself but reality is things aren't what they used to be. It sucks to watch friends fall into the shitter but you should applaud yourself for not being one to fall with them. You've set standards for yourself, Good! However, One the whole friend thing I really suggest trying to meet new people who aren't into that sort of stuff. Meet someone who will value your friendship and respect your wishes. You said one of them was pregnant well sounds like she really dug herself one. Let them be idiots sometimes certain people just have to live and learn. I got to tell ya kid, I'm real proud of ya!
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Wow.. Im very proud of you.. need more people like you in this world.. that's great,good for you. If your BESTFRIEND and FRIENDS ditched you because you didn't want to do that.. wow.. its a typical teenage drama.. my advice:GO AND FIND NEW FRIENDS.. trust me you shouldn't even classify them as friends.. if they are pushing you and excluding you wow.. thats harsh and unnecessary and if they did respect you 100% why would they exclude you from''everything''... that leaves you wondering. Please find new friends.. ACTUAL friends.. your young and they know you are doing the right thing.
I actually have a similar story. I wasn't into partying much right? but my ''friends'' excluded me and ended up as time went by get closer with others and they left my hanging... after a time they came back and asked to hang out.. you know the answer? NO. It taught my a lesson. Your friends may exclude you ,trust me they will come back one day.
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First of all congratulations for not giving in to peer pressure. When all is said and done all we have of ourselves is our principles. I know that is a little deep but what it means is if we must judge ourselves it is our principles that we must judge ourselves by.
There are reasons alcohol is restricted to young people 21 and older. There are a reasons why parents, teachers and clergy are constantly telling teenagers to refrain from sex and alcohol until they are older. It all has to do with maturity.
Immaturity has a lot to do with why your friends exclude you, They are immature; to immature to understand what you understand and why you have the principals you have.
In a sense a dirty trick has been played on teenagers. They're to young to be adults but they have the bodies of adults. They are constantly being told to stop acting childish and act like the young adults they are. So the immature part of them says well if I'm suppose to act like an adult then I will and they drink and have sex just like an adult. They view anyone who doesn't feel like they do as being immature. When in fact it is just the opposite.
You are not going to be able to change them, though they will work hard to change you, don't let them. You don't need an unwanted pregnancy or an arrest record for underage drinking. While juvenile records are supposedly sealed it does show up in a background check that you have a juvenile record. If you are looking a career that requires a security clearance this could have an unwanted affect on your future.
High school friends will not be life long friends. In a few years you will all go your separate ways. Some to college, some into the military and others off to other parts of the world to work. I know it is lonely to sit home on a Friday or Saturday night but this is something you can help yourself with by looking for groups that share some of your same interest or hobbies. Through these groups you will meet others like yourself and make new friends.
Your friends that are drinking and hooking up are not just looking for trouble, trouble will, not may, will eventually find them. You are much better off not being included and sticking by your principles.
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Hun, of course they had to ditch you! No matter how polite and respectful you were, you were still a constant reminder that they were behaving like morons.
Also, you are being excluded from things they probably think you don't want to be a part of. And they are probably right.
Do you want to hang out with girls who only every talk about their sexual activities and drama? Right now you are lonely and hurting, but I promise you, it would get old really fast.
You've drifted apart. It happens. It's sad and hurts, but it happens. If you want to maintain a friendship, call one or two of them up and invite them to a non-drinking thing: a movie or a concert and enjoy their each others company in a way you can all enjoy.
But also start looking for other friends. You just don't have a large enough number of things in common with these people anymore.
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First off props to you! Very happy that you did not give in to that crap I have the same morals which there good and it happend to two of my close friends. First I was like to both of them look you are one of my close friends and I don't want to lose you but if you keep picking alcohol over me then I'm done. That's what I said to both of them they still sometimes drink but they include me other things that don't involve drinking yeah I'd say were not as close as we were but were still friends. If that doesn't work for you please find new friends bc there not worth it just don't break your morals your 16 and you've made it so far keep it up I know I hesitated a couple times but I just distracted myself and talked to different or new people hope I helped
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