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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

My fiancee' recently committed suicide, he was on a large amount of mental meds, to keep from dinking, and he bacame paranoid and not himself. He first disappeared for four days, and then we found his body. I din't think he meant to do it, because he never seemed like the type of person. Anyway we were having major problems after being together for four years and it was coming to the point that we needed to seperate, because the argueing was out of control. I felt I had fallen out of love with him because of his destructive nature. He told me he was dying of a broken heart because of me. Because he felt I no longer loved him, but he said he loved me more than any person ever would.I believed him because he did everything for me. Why would a person who says they love you sooo much take their own life? Why would he cause me all this grief and pain if he really loved me? Plus we have five children, four mine one 10 month old his. Why did he do it to where we would find him? Why didn't he leave a note? I dont think he really meant to do it. Yes I am seeking counseling, but others opinions are important as a third party feedback source.

I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I could tell you why your fiancee' killed himself, I can't. I I am not a doctor though my wife works with psychiatrist with the leading supplier of mental health services in this country. We socialize with some of them and I know for a fact even they are unsure as to why a patient who they consider stable will suddenly turn and do this.

I also know that your fiancee' did not do this because of anything you did or didn't do. About the only explanation that makes any sense, and little at that, is either the demons he has fighting finally got the best of him or this was an accident.

It is good that you have sought counseling. Be very open with your counselor, as this is the only way you will heal. You will come to learn that there was very little his doctors could have done to prevent this if your fiancee' hid anything from them.

This happens; my wife has seen it with the practices she works with. I've seen it as a firefighter first responder. The best face that can be put on this is that your fiancee' is no longer being tormented by the demons that have been tormenting him. There is nothing you did or didn't do to prevent this. Whatever he said to you were the demons talking and not him so don't listen to them.

They have been selling drugs for like 2 or 3 yrs. My parents and I don't like it and he thinks that my parents don't know about it. I want to turn them in but Im afraid my parents will get in trouble since my brother and my cousin sell drugs in our driveway and in his room. They have a lot of people that sit in our yard all day and they play loud music and they cuss and drink. My dad just had an argument with my brother about finding drugs in his room and I think my dad is afraid of getting into a fight with my brother. They have had guns and drugs in our house, my cousin punched my dad in the face before.They always have a lot of people sitting in our yard either selling drugs in their car or being really loud. No one in my house likes it. Some of these people including my cousin run in and out of our house whenever they want to. I think my dad is really scared to stand up to them cause hes been hit before. I want them all to be turned in, but my mom says if we call the cops on them everyone in the house will get arrested, including my parents, They don't do drugs or sell drugs. I just think they are scared of my brother and a lot of his friends. They are really disrespectful, they got into a fight with someone in front of our house and started pulling guns and they park their cars on the grass and my parents don't like that. My parents are scared we will get taken away cause of my brother, the police even told my aunt that our house was the drug house. If I make an anonymous to to the police about my cousin and brother will my parents get arrested too?

My brother is 21 and my cousin is 20, I think my parents are afraid to kick my brother out of the house too

When my parents tried to kick my brother out of the house one time he broke down 2 doors

This is one of those two headed problems. Lets assume for the moment the Police are aware drugs are being sold from your home and they are just acquiring enough evidence to make an arrest. The fact that you father is tolerant of this activity could lead to his arrest as well.

On the other hand if your father and you were to go to the police and explain what is going on and ask for them to intervene. Your father will no longer be viewed as a co conspirator subject to arrest. Instead they will most likely arrange to make an arrest at a time you and your parents are not at home and out of the line of fire should your brother and cousin decide to fight with the police.

By going to the police your father gets to protect you , your mother and himself as well as protecting your home from possible forfeiture as a drug related asset. To sit home out of fear that your brother will do something to you all only means that if your brother doesn't do you harm the law will when they take action.

14/f

Hey everybody. FIRST OFF- I am not talking about now, I am talking about when I'm older!!

Various resources have scared me away from childbirth, and I was wondering- is it as difficult to adopt as I've heard? I plan on adopting a young child if I ever decide to adopt. I know that adopting an infant is a huge production, but what about a small child?

Also, which is more expensive (adoption or childbirth in a hospital)? Can anybody tell me approximately how much either would cost?

Also, are childbirth and pregnancy as horrible as I've come to learn they are?

Any answers are much appreciated, thank you!

Being a male I can't tell you what child birth feels like. My wife told me it is like trying to pull a full sized watermelon out of your nose.

She also said that once the nurse but our son in her arms she forgot all about the pain,all about whatever the doctor was still doing to her. All of her attention and focus was on our son.

Would she do it again, yes. The joy of holding her child more than compensated for the pain she felt. Today a women has a choice to have a natural child birth or to have medications to ease the pain of childbirth. When your older and the time comes to start a family you can look at all the options there are. There will be people who will push you to go all natural for the full experience and the betterment of the child. Here again this is a choice that YOU make.

My wife's pregnancy was fairly easy. She had some morning sickness during the first trimester. If you are in good health and have regular prenatal care you too should have an easy pregnancy. Here again though each women's pregnancy is different and each women will tell you a different story based on her own temperament. Not all pregnancies are horrible. You only read about the horrible ones.

My question is we had a Kawasaki Dirt Bike. (is what we were told it was when we bought it) Well we sold it on craigslist. I advertised it as a Kawasaki Dirt Bike and someone bought it. They came to our home. Looked at the bike even road it and then paid for it. Well they are saying they ran the vin number and its no a Kawasaki Which we bought it off a used car lot and took it to a store that sells them and were told differently. They say they are taking us to civil court because they want there money back now. We still believe its a kawasaki bike and that they had every chance to say differently to us its not like we shipped it to them. So what am I asking is are we in the wrong? or what?

How do you register a bike without a title?

Depending on where you live, what Country, and how much you were paid for the bike. If you are taken to court it will most likely be small claims court.

I'm not a lawyer, but getting a case into small claims court, also known as the Peoples Court, is very simple. You write out a reason, pay a filing fee and you get a court date. That doesn't mean the person suing you will automatically get a judgement against you. The Plaintiff has to prove to the judges satisfaction they have been wronged by you.

In your case you bought the bike from a dealer who I assume titled the bike as a Kawasaki. You bought the bike in good faith from that dealer. You in turn sold the bike in good faith as you had purchased it. You allowed a thorough examination of the bike by the purchaser. This is truly a case of buyer beware, even though you may not have done anything wrong. The wrong may have been done to you by the dealer you purchased from.

I would say that if the titling documents, which to my mind are legal documents, say the bike is a Kawasaki then the person you sold it to would not prevail in court. If in all other respects the bike was as is when you sold it to him he has no case.

If you are sued request, from the court, that the buyer be served with a subpoena requiring him to bring the titling documents to court, the ones you must have signed off on in the transfer of title to him.

IF some how you are sued and the case is heard in a higher court, you will need a lawyer. You can have a lawyer in small claims court if you want one.

17/f. I used to either be drunk or high at least 6 out of 7 days of the week. (none of my family knew.) As soon a I would get home I would spend time with my family, cook for the whole family, clean, go out for walks. I was a very happy, social person. About 2 weeks ago I realized what I was doing was wrong. I have my whole life ahead of me, there's no need for me to throw it all away so soon. So I completely quit. Ever since I've been sober I don't want to do anything, I get irritated being with my family, I pretty much spend all day in my room doing nothing, I stopped talking to almost all of my friends, I used to be texting all the time, now I turn my phone off so I don't have to talk to anyone. Nothing seems to interest/motivate me. I'm not sure how to go back to my old personality without picking up my bad habits again. Any advice on what I should do?

I don't know how long you were high or drunk; though if it was any length of time your body is still detoxing. Going cold turkey as it seems you have can be somewhat dangerous, though you seem to behandeling most of it well.

It is not surprising to me that you are in the mood you are in. You need to do two things, from my point of view, to get right with the world.

The first is find support for your new sober life style. You can do this by finding an AA meeting in your area and start attending meetings. At the end you will find a link to the AA website. The second thing you may want to do is find out what caused you to turn to drugs and alcohol in the first place. This would be optional if you join AA.

The drugs and Alcohol were a substitute for something missing in your life. They, by your own admission, helped you feel better about yourself. Since drugs and alcohol are depressants this does not make a whole lot of sense. How can a depressant make you feel better? Should you want to to both, which is something I would not only suggest but support, then by all means do so.

My brother in-law is 25 years sober through AA. He lives the AA life and claims AA saved his life. He is very active in AA, STOP, MADD and other organizations like it. He claims AA has given him the purpose that was missing in his life.

Talk Therapy with a therapist trained in teenage substance abuse together with AA should help you find the why of your drinking and drug abuse. It will also put you on track to a better more productive life. My brother in-law is living proof of this.

AA costs you nothing. All they ask of you is an honest effort on your part. They will supply the support and whatever else you need to stay sober.

http://www.aa.org/?Media=PlayFlash

Need a lock box to keep weed in i need a cheapish small box that has a sturdy key any suggestions.

While I agree with bobby67 concerning the use of drugs. You will find good strong lock boxes at stores such as Target, Staples, Office Depot and Walmart.

Just a side note hear about locks. All a good lock does is keep an honest person honest. If someone, such as a parent, wants to get into any of these boxes it takes a few simple house hold tools, the knowledge on how to use then and ten minutes to open one of these things.

My advice if you really want to secure something buy a small safe with a re-locking device.

No I'm not a safe cracker I use to install banking equipment. Occasionally I had to open safe deposit boxes when the bank was locked out of them. They were just a tad harder than these lock boxes to open.

So i am 14, 5 foot 3'' and i weigh 98 lbs. I have had discharge for almost 2 years now and am an A cup. I have mood swings. Im freaking out because i have never had a period, any way to speed up getting my first period? How close am I? Please no comments saying i dont really want my period, if you havnt been in my position you have no idea. Please help im freaking out!!!!!

Based on the teenage female weight chart I looked at you are somewhat underweight for your age and height, by almost 20 pounds depending on where in the scale you should fall. When a female is under weight she generally does not get her period and her breast development slowed.

My advise is to see your doctor about your weight. Being underweight is in worse than being overweight. If you are eating correctly and not gaining weight there could be something medically wrong that the doctor can correct. Once corrected and you are at your proper weight your period will most likely start and your breasts will most likely grow to their proper size.

I'm M/16, from the US. I've been hearing a lot about the US debt lately. I want to know what's going on and what might happen. I don't want to hear about how it works, but how it can possibly affect me. Will anything impact the way I live?

How what is happening on Wall Street is going to effect you as an individual is no exactly known at the moment. What is happening will have effects on you in both a direct an indirect effect in the present and the future. What is not going to happen is the U. S. Government is not going to crumble.

The indirect effects are the unknown effects at the moment. Right now the numbers you see coming out of Wall Street are investors selling off their investments. U.S. Treasury notes, this is how the government raises money have not been effected as of yet. If anything interest rates on these notes are stable or have gone done a bit which is good.

If investors do not get back into the market and purchase some of the stocks they have sold; then we will start to see a direct affect of this sell off.

For now though the direct effect that most economist believe we will feel is higher cost for the average person or business to borrow money. State's who deal or who's budgets are directly effected by business with the government could see a downgrading in their bond rating. This would result in higher taxes and fees, higher tuition costs at state universities. We could be forced back into a recession or even a depression with resulting job losses and home foreclosures.

People who have fixed rate mortgages have nothing to worry about as far as any worries to changes in the mortgage. A contract cannot be changed once it is implemented. People with variable rate mortgages are the ones that could face foreclosure because of this problems as their mortgage goes up as the cost of money raises.

The impact on you personally at 16 will be based mostly on how secure your parents are in their finances and jobs. How secure the companies they work for are. You may find it harder to find part-time jobs of your choosing and may have to settle for fast food type jobs as they are the most recession proof.

Long term what you need to do is make a plan for the future. What do you want to do with your life. Do you want a professional career or a career in the professional trades.

Most of the white collar professions are going to be over burdened with job seekers as will many of the professional trades. The medical fields of Doctors, nurses and paramedics are in general always under filled. These are good professions which provide good incomes. Other fields that would be under-filled would be the emerging fields of alternative resources & new technologies.

You know what you are capable of. Start making a plan for your future. Talk with your parents and high school guidance counselor. The road ahead is not dark and gloomy as the talking heads are making it out to be. It is just not well lighted at the moment. Proper planning now will help you traverse this road and come out on top when you reach the other end of the road.

how to have respect from son.

Like everything else respect is earned. Without more information it is hard to say much else on this subject.

As a parent I will tell you that I was not placed on this earth to be my child's friend first and parent second. Its the other way around. As A parent I have certain moral and legal obligation to my child that come before friendship. These obligations can hinder certain respect.

A certain amount of respect comes with the job. Respect fro what I say is the rule. Respect for the fact that I am the elder and he is the child. These types of respect are instilled from birth.

IF you are looking for his respect as an equal you are walking a fine line if your son is still a minor. For switching from friend to parent actually erodes what you may be trying to do.

Advice man, Sweet Angel, Rahzie, Sage Advisor and so on...
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?mode=myque&c=all
There are my questions from the last two years of my life. The bunch of you have been giving my the same advice repeatedly. I would rate 5s and try to listen, but could not. I just want to let you know, that was "the dumb girl" I have found a new me completley. I kicked my ex out on June 7th. He is in jail now for robbery and I could not be happier. He wants my sympathy, he went through rehab and claims he is a brand new person and all better. Guess what? I don't give a damn. He could have turned into the pope and I will NEVER let him back into my life. Even after I kicked him out, he free loaded off a buddy. Blew up my phone all of the time. We got together ONE night, i started falling back into it....and the next day he blew me off when it came to watching the baby so I could work. At that point, I said FUCK IT. DONE. Stuck to it. 5 Days later, he robs someone, then checks himself into rehab. I found a good friend again, the day after I kicked him out. As he is in rehab (read the questions about my euphoric dream) things between pete and I take a turn at a party one night. He begins to kiss me and tell me how bad he has been wanting to do that for 5 years. Its pretty surreal. I wasnt expecting anything to happen between the two of us, we were just really good friends, and then that happened and there was so much passion I could not believe it. I asked if he was going to take me on a date and he said "hell yes!" its been 3 weeks, we have been on two dates and hang out all of the time (not around my daughter yet) he hasnt tried to go any further than making out, he said he doesnt want to rush anything so we are just taking it sloooooow and its going great! i know you may say that this was the wrong thing to do, but I wouldnt be rolling with it unless it felt right. I dont plan on introducing my daughter and him until its been official for atleast 6 months. I have my head in the game. My world is not wrapped around this guy at all. I am starting school full time september 6th, getting my associates in general studies and then transferring to university to get my bachelors in psychology, eventually my masters and ultimately my doctorate. I want to help young mothers like myself, I have never felt like things are going in the right direction until now. I know I am doing what I have to do to fix my mistakes and create an amazing life for my beautiful daughter. Babydad is freaking out about my new guy, he says that my daughter deserves a shot at this with him being sober. I am not the least bit attracted to him anymore and have no respect so it is never going to work I just dont know how else to make him see it. I am talking to an attorney tomorrow about what my next move is regaurding parental rights. I just wanted to tell you guys that I read through all of my questions today and see exactly what you were all screaming at me. I am a new Sarah now, and I love being just me. So thank you SO much advicenators, I owe my new found life to you. Sadly, I wont be posting on here much more, I have turned to reddit.com Add me, xRAHx.

Love you all,
this site is amazing.

There is a reason you received the same basic advice from most of us; we are here to help and advise. I looked at reddit.com and did not see the same genuine interest in wanting to help those seeking advice.

That being said I am glad to see that the advice you received has forced you to turn you life around. That your interests now are focused on your child and not on your own pleasure or you husbands well being. When you see the Attorney talk to him about a protective order for you and your daughter. As an ex-con who committed a violent crime you may be able to have one placed on him. That should limit his rights to see his daughter as well.

There is an old saying about planning. There are those who fail to plan and there are those who plan to fail. You have a wonder plan laid out for yourself. Don't allow it to be a plan that fails.

Sorry to see you go, though we will all be her should you ever need to ask us a question in the future.

Let me first start by explaining the situation. I am almost 29 years old. When I was 24, I met my kids father. We instantly fell in love and were married. 3 months later. Not the best thing I couldv'e done, but I can't change it now. Anyhow long story short. Husband was in the Navy at the time and came to live w me at my parents house which was suposed to be temporary, but ended up being permanent, as he proved to be immature and a frivolous spender, even though I had a baby his priorities didn't change. We could never move out because we could never save money. I ended up divorcing him. Now I'm planning on using my next tax refund to go towards the moving costs, and what not. My issue is that my dad and my 3 yr old son are very close. I'm not sure how to introduce the idea of us moving out to my son and make him understand and accept it. I know he's going to have a hard time. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to do this?

Children are smarter than we give them credit for. Yes he will be upset with the move if it is just sprung on him and yes he will not like having the world as he knows it turned upside down.

You have about 7 months to start introducing the idea to him. You start with talking about it. You, your dad and him. How it is a big adventure he is going on. How he is going to help mommy find him and mommy a new place to live where he and mommy make the rules and grandpa will come to visit.

When it is time to actually start searching for an apartment or house; you do a pre-search and narrow your search to two or maybe three choices. Then take your son to see them. Try and steer him to the one you want to rent and make it his choice. This way he feels he found the new home for him and mommy.

In the end though no matter what you do to prepare him the actual separation from what his world had been to the unknown is going to be traumatic and cause some type of problem so be prepared. In away though this is a good learning experience for him as it will teach him that the world is an ever changing place, and while I'm using big words, he cannot become complacent and refuse to change when necessary.

He will do fine, all kids do. You may have your hands full for a day or two but after that he will settle in.

One thing we did you may want to try. On the day of the actual move. Put his things on the truck last and if he has a toy chest that is the very last thing to go on the truck or trailer so it is the first thing off. Once again involve him in the move, let him help.

We used professional movers who were great with our son and this was their suggestion. They gave him things to carry and they put his toy chest on the truck last. The very first thing off the truck was his toy box which they had him show them where he wanted it placed in his room. He spent the rest of the time inventorying his toy to make sure nothing was lost and by the time he finished the movers were finished. He came out of his room long enough to waive good-by. My son was 3 at that time.

So whenever i have n orgasm i can feel myself about to come I end up peeing (squirting). Why do I do that? IS there something wrong?

If your absolutely sure it's urine then you need to see a doctor.

Most likely you are one of the rare women who can , as it is referred to, ejaculate when the come. Many men find this a huge turn on, especially if you can do this during oral sex. Teenage boy will probably not like it as they don't understand it and you will have to educate them.

Below are two websites that do a better job of explaining what is happening then I can do. According to one of them your partner is doing an excellent job of bringing you to orgasm if you are able to ejaculate. Don't let him get away, educate him and enjoy what is happening.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_ejaculation

http://www.very-koi.net/tutor/female/female.htm

17/F

So, most of my life, I've always been a very angry person. I can't help it, it's just the smallest things set me off. If a teacher tells me that I'm screwing around, and I know I am, I get ticked off. I mean, I don't throw things or get violent. With teachers anyway. I used to be very violent when it came to my family and my sister and I used to get into violent fights, enough so that we hurt each other badly. It doesn't happen anymore, thank God. Shortly after middle school, I decided that I needed to force myself to calm down and stop getting angry.
So whenever something made me angry, I held it in and brushed it off. If someone made fun of me or tried to hurt me or whatever, I just held it all in. It's been working very well. Up until the beginning of this summer. I can't hold it in anymore and I just explode at everything and it's driving me nuts because I don't want to be an angry person. I want to be a laidback person, but it's hard when my temper flares up. Basically, I'm wondering why I'm so angry. Could it be herediary or maybe it's some of the weird habits I have?
(Habits meaning that I'm relatively introverted, I don't get much sleep, I've been watching horror movies since I was 4, etc.)

There are a lot of different reasons for anger management problems. Sleep deprivation is among them as is depression and the hormonal changes brought on by puberty. You say this has been going on for most of your life but did not say when it started.

I experienced the same anger problems you describe which started around age 10 and lasted in to my late teens; the puberty years. ZI had some other issues that factored in but I was able to control most of my anger issues once I entered my early twenties.

This may or may not be you. When I was your age we did not have anger management classes. It was not as PC as it is today to seek help from a therapist for such issues Depression in a teenager was considered a phase you would grow out of.

Today we know better and understand that when a person needs the help of a trained therapist to deal with certain issues. I'm not a doctor. I don't believe any of us on this site are doctors so we cannot make a diagnoses.

I would suggest you start by seeing your family doctor. Tell the doctor exactly how you feel. You can be completely open with your doctor as at your age you have medical confidentiality; meaning your doctor can=not discuss your visit with anyone including your parents. Your doctor may give you some medication to help you then refer you therapist to find the real reason for your problem.

ok im gonna make this really short. i am a 13 year old girl and sometimes, when my mom is screaming at me and grabbing my face and pulling my hair and all that fun s*it, my mom will scream at me "i will wreck you". other times, she will say it jokingly. is it ok for her to say that in a joking situation or in a yelling situation or none at all? please answer. kisses!

Yelling and screaming stuff at you can be mental child abuse depending on the how and when she says things.

Pulling your hair and puling at you face is not okay. This physical child abuse and not discipline. Problem is you cannot go screaming to your mother that she is abusing you. You need to go to another trusted adult or teacher and tell them. What mom is doing.

I would suggest if this is a daily occurrence you go tomschool and ask the principal for help. Even if school is still closed the principal and office staff are still working.

My boyfriend and i have always had sex very often for about 2 years now. He is always able to get hard right away and can go for a very long time. However, lately he hasnt been able to get an erection as easily and we are only able to go 2 or 3 rounds instead of 5 or 6 like before. The last couple times we had sex he wasnt even able to stay hard enough to finish having sex. We have increased the amount of sex from twice a week to maybe three days in a row, but there have been no changes in diet, stress or anything. He is still able to feel horny and aroused, however his penis wont get hard. Any ideas as to what is causing this? Could our increased amount of sex have anything to do with it?

The change may not be something that is visible. A sudden change in erectile function can be linked to a change to change in his health such as high blood pressure. Another aliment could be worry, which is a form of depression.

Not being a doctor and the web does not allow for examining some one if I was a doctor, my advice is your boyfriend see a doctor. Most erectile disfunction can be addressed by doctors.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents, or is it hard to be around them?

I was sexually abused, molested, raped, whatever you want to call it, when I was just 5 years old. It ended a little while after I turned 12, around the time I got my period. I guess I wasn't a 'little girl' anymore and my abuser lost interest. Anyway, I'm 18 now and that has stuck with me my entire life. It has had an astounding affect on my life. I had trouble connecting with people when I was younger. I trusted no one, I felt unloved, like I didn't deserve to be loved. I was a suicidal 9 year old at one point and I wouldnt have gotten through it if it wasn't for my older sister who was just a kid herself at the time. Ive always blamed my parents for what happened to me. It was a friend of theirs that abused me and Ive always hated my parents because I felt like they didn't protect me. At 9 years old I remember looking at my mother and thinking 'How could you let him do this me. Why can't you see that he's hurting me. Why won't you protect me, why don't you love me?'

So, I've always hated me parents. I took all my anger out on them and pushed them away. I've always wondered about how other people are with their parents. Sorry about my venting, but I'm really curious. What's your relationship like?

I'm not going to go in to how my parents treated me other than to say to a certain extent I know how you feel. It took many years to realize the abuse my sister and I suffered and many more years to deal with it properly for both of us.

In reading your letter I can see that you have never received the professional help you would need to deal with this abuse, which I assume was not only rape but incest. The rape and incest is part of you that will never go away. What you can do for yourself is to learn how to deal with it so as it does not totally consume you and that you can have a life again.

Please call an organization called RAINN. Rains Stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline you can call to talk with trained volunteers who can put you in touch with out reach centers in your home town. Through these centers you can find professional who can help you resolve the issues you have and teach you how to get you life back.

No child should go through what you have gone through. I am deeply sorry that you have had to go through this. My only hope is you will take my advice and call RAINN and get some help. There number is: 1 500-656-HELP

I'm 13/f,and I'm a cutter.I cut my wrist.I've cut it about 6 times.Whenever my mom asks what happened to my wrist,I tell her I was doing something,and got cut.She just says ok,and believes it.One day we were sitting at home,my brother and dad went to the store,and she was watching something on t.v.,and it mentioned something about if you have a teen who cuts.So she said she needs to check and see if I'm a cutter because of the cuts on my wrist.I really don't want to tell her,because when I cut,all my emotional pain is gone,and I'm happy.I feel that I should tell her,but I really can't.Should I tell her?Or should I keep it a secret?

Yes you need to talk to your mom about your cutting. Before I get to far into my reason(s) lets talk about an alternative to cutting. The doctors call this transference and they use this while they help you get to the root cause of your pain.

Find a nice big thick rubber band and let it hang loosely around your wrist. When you feel the pain that would cause you to cut, start snapping the rubber band against your wrist instead until the pain subsides.

You are correct in what you said that the cutting relieves your emotional pain, for the moment. But cutting is dangerous especially around the wrist where there is an artery. You could bleed out before help could arrive if you accidentally were to nick the artery. I'm sure this is not what you want.

What you need is to find out what the REAL cause of your emotional pain is. To do this you need the help of a professional therapist. Someone you can talk to who will keep your confidence. I think you will be surprised when you discover what is the real cause of your emotional pain. It could be very different than what you may be thinking.

So how do you tell your mom. You take mom aside, out of the hearing of any siblings you have and just tell her: Mom I need help, I've been cutting myself.

Your not alone in how you feel. Puberty is a very strange times for young people, especially young women. You have all these hormones to deal with, your body is changing as is your social life. If you have gotten your period then this is also something new for you to deal with. Yes puberty does cause some emotional conflicts and everyone deals with them differently and yes some people have problems dealing with them

As a parent, if you haven't figured this out yet, this is what we are here for. TO help you through these times and when you have a problem such as you are having to get you the help you need. Please never ever hide something medical from your parents. Our primary responsibility as a parent is to our children's health and safety. If you hide something from us like this then we fail in our primary responsibility to you.

How Long does it take for my friend to pass out?
My friend wanted to know.
She is 12 weighs about 115.
I don't suggest this but she hates herself cuz she thinks she is fat.
I just wanna know how many days does it take for her to pass out if she don't eat.

First things first. If your friend is of average height for her age she is probably with in her weight range.

Next: Not eating is the worst thing anyone can do to loose weight. The body needs fuel just as a car needs fuel to run. If the body does not get the fuel it needs then it takes what it needs from where it can get it. If the body does not get enough fuel then the design is to save the most important parts which is the brain and the heart. All other functions will be shut down as the body runs out of fuel to operate them.

When a person passes out the body has begun the process of saving itself. Many times the damaged caused in this process is permanent.

Why am I telling you all this. For this simple reason. You know what your friend is doing or going to do is wrong and will hurt her. As her friend you can help her by telling her parents what you know. She probably has asked you not to. What would you rather have a friend who is a live and made at you or a friend who could possibly be so sick that she can barely function or possibly die.

If you are a true friend you need to tell her parents or tell your parents and let them tell parents.her

what and how is a easy way to die quick without pain if u wont tell me sumbody else will

There is no painless way to kill yourself. Even if there was no one on this site would tell you how. How's that for a contradiction.

You can believe me or not that's up to you. What I can tell you is I have responded to more suicide calls then I care to count. At some point they all call for help because the pain is more than they can take.

My advice go to the nearest hospital and get some help.

I have been suffering from what I believe are anxiety attacks. I am not sure and want to go to the doctors to make sure. My mom won't take me because, well, she's my mom. We have medical insurance (cigna). I was told that I could go to your average family physician for mental health check ups. Well I have my medical card and I have money, I was wondering if I could just call any doctor's office and set up an appointment or if I have to call specific ones in order for it to be covered.
I live in Utah
17 Female.

What doctors you can see will depend on the type of insurance you have. There are basically two types of medical coverage; HMO and PPO. PPO is Preferred Provider Option; having this type of insurance allows you to go to any doctor that accepts cigna insurance. HMO insurance requires that you go to a cigna doctor who is an HMO provider. This doctor is referred to as a gate keeper as you must first see this doctor in order to see any specialist.

If it is not shown on your insurance card as to the type of insurance you have, then call the customer service number on the insurance card to find out. While speaking to the customer service representative, and once you find out if you have HMO or PPO coverage you can then ask how to find a list of doctors who accept cigna insurance in your area. You will most likely be directed to their website.

The biggest differences between HMO and PPO is that with the HMO you pay nothing more, generally, for doctors visits or testing. This is a covered under the HMO policy. The draw back is that your family doctor is their gate keeper, the one that controls what doctors you can see. The family doctor is suppose to treat what they can before allowing you to see a specialist.

The PPO plan allows you a choice of doctors from their preferred provider network. No referrals are required to see specialist though you will have a co-pay at time of treatment. Tests, hospital stays and other things are covered usually on an 80/20 type basis.

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