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I'm Angry, I always have been and I don't know what to do about it
17/F
So, most of my life, I've always been a very angry person. I can't help it, it's just the smallest things set me off. If a teacher tells me that I'm screwing around, and I know I am, I get ticked off. I mean, I don't throw things or get violent. With teachers anyway. I used to be very violent when it came to my family and my sister and I used to get into violent fights, enough so that we hurt each other badly. It doesn't happen anymore, thank God. Shortly after middle school, I decided that I needed to force myself to calm down and stop getting angry.
So whenever something made me angry, I held it in and brushed it off. If someone made fun of me or tried to hurt me or whatever, I just held it all in. It's been working very well. Up until the beginning of this summer. I can't hold it in anymore and I just explode at everything and it's driving me nuts because I don't want to be an angry person. I want to be a laidback person, but it's hard when my temper flares up. Basically, I'm wondering why I'm so angry. Could it be herediary or maybe it's some of the weird habits I have?
(Habits meaning that I'm relatively introverted, I don't get much sleep, I've been watching horror movies since I was 4, etc.)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
First off, holding it in is why you immediately explode. It is best to get your anger out in a healthy way. Horror movies have nothing to do with the behavior because I watch them all the time too, even as a kid and it has not made me angry. Sometimes when not dealt with properly, anger can be uncontrollable. Have you ever thought of taking up a sport, or maybe even getting a punching bag? I have one in the basement and it does wonders for my brother. He took all of his anger and focused it at that bag, then when it came to people being rude or telling him off, it didn't bother him. Releasing the anger is very important. There are other tactics as well such as writing in a journal, picking up an instrument such as guitar or drums, writing lyrics to express your anger, focusing on a project such as painting or something. if you have any more questions, just send me an inbox message.
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There are a lot of different reasons for anger management problems. Sleep deprivation is among them as is depression and the hormonal changes brought on by puberty. You say this has been going on for most of your life but did not say when it started.
I experienced the same anger problems you describe which started around age 10 and lasted in to my late teens; the puberty years. ZI had some other issues that factored in but I was able to control most of my anger issues once I entered my early twenties.
This may or may not be you. When I was your age we did not have anger management classes. It was not as PC as it is today to seek help from a therapist for such issues Depression in a teenager was considered a phase you would grow out of.
Today we know better and understand that when a person needs the help of a trained therapist to deal with certain issues. I'm not a doctor. I don't believe any of us on this site are doctors so we cannot make a diagnoses.
I would suggest you start by seeing your family doctor. Tell the doctor exactly how you feel. You can be completely open with your doctor as at your age you have medical confidentiality; meaning your doctor can=not discuss your visit with anyone including your parents. Your doctor may give you some medication to help you then refer you therapist to find the real reason for your problem.
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All the things you have listed can make someone an angry person. A lack of sleep can make you cranky, and it also changes how your body functions, and so that can make you feel worse. You need at least 6-8 hours of sleep a night. Failure to do so can lead to heart problems later on in life.
Im not sure about the effect of horror movies: At aged 4 you really shouldn't watch movies like that because you are very susceptible to what you see. Whether it leads to anger as such, I don't know.
In reference to it being hereditary, there is some scientific evidence to suggest that is a mother is an angry person during her pregnancy, the baby gets used to the hormone released, and can lead to "free-flowing rage" in later life, which simply put, means that the baby (you) can get very angry, very quickly, for no apparent reason in later life. This is something that you cant really fully attribute your behaviour to however- its relatively new evidence.
You say you bottle your anger in: This can be quite bad. Imagine a bottle with pressure in. If you don't allow the bottle to open to sometimes, slowly release the pressure, it will explode with disastrous consequences. The thing you need to do is to channel your rage in a positive manner. This can be done with exercise, or a hobby. I know a friend who gets relatively ticked off easily, but runs daily to let that rage and energy out. What you don't want to do is explode at people over the slightest thing: Its unhealthy, and unfair.
Alternatively, you could see a psychiatrist, or take anger management classes. This may be easy for you as you have already admitted that you have a rage problem, and that you want help. I know anger management works well, some people even go through hypnosis for anger management. I think the best thing would be to ask friends/family/ about a psychiatrist, or see the school councillor. Many even have websites, or you could check the phone book. Give them a call and see what they can offer you (in regards to pricing etc). I know seeing a 'shrink' may not be the ideal situation, but if all else fails, why not? Its confidential, and they are there to help people. You shouldn't feel like some sort of 'freak' though, just because you have to see a psychiatrist, or councillor. My good friend had a problem with family, and was just generally unhappy. I pleaded with her to see our school councillor but she didn't. Eventually, i signed her up without her knowing. She then thanked me for doing so, because it just gave her someone to talk to, and someone that was there to listen, and give advice. Although you may not think that its the best thing for you to do, it may be in your best interest to do so.
I hope I helped, and good luck! :)
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