Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


How do I prepare my 3 yr old son for moving out of my parents house?


Question Posted Sunday August 7 2011, 9:26 pm

Let me first start by explaining the situation. I am almost 29 years old. When I was 24, I met my kids father. We instantly fell in love and were married. 3 months later. Not the best thing I couldv'e done, but I can't change it now. Anyhow long story short. Husband was in the Navy at the time and came to live w me at my parents house which was suposed to be temporary, but ended up being permanent, as he proved to be immature and a frivolous spender, even though I had a baby his priorities didn't change. We could never move out because we could never save money. I ended up divorcing him. Now I'm planning on using my next tax refund to go towards the moving costs, and what not. My issue is that my dad and my 3 yr old son are very close. I'm not sure how to introduce the idea of us moving out to my son and make him understand and accept it. I know he's going to have a hard time. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to do this?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?


Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Tuesday August 9 2011, 9:17 pm:
I think it is going to be perfectly fine. All you have to tell him is that we are going to move into a new house and sometimes you can come to papa's house (or what ever he calls him) and spend the night sometimes just you and papa and grandma. or who ever lives in the home. I am moving out of my fathers house and my son and dad are very close but my son is alright about it he nos that anytime he wants to come to papas hell come get him.

[ Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column | Ask Sweet_LiL_Angel A Question
]




adviceman49 answered Monday August 8 2011, 9:21 am:
Children are smarter than we give them credit for. Yes he will be upset with the move if it is just sprung on him and yes he will not like having the world as he knows it turned upside down.


You have about 7 months to start introducing the idea to him. You start with talking about it. You, your dad and him. How it is a big adventure he is going on. How he is going to help mommy find him and mommy a new place to live where he and mommy make the rules and grandpa will come to visit.


When it is time to actually start searching for an apartment or house; you do a pre-search and narrow your search to two or maybe three choices. Then take your son to see them. Try and steer him to the one you want to rent and make it his choice. This way he feels he found the new home for him and mommy.


In the end though no matter what you do to prepare him the actual separation from what his world had been to the unknown is going to be traumatic and cause some type of problem so be prepared. In away though this is a good learning experience for him as it will teach him that the world is an ever changing place, and while I'm using big words, he cannot become complacent and refuse to change when necessary.


He will do fine, all kids do. You may have your hands full for a day or two but after that he will settle in.


One thing we did you may want to try. On the day of the actual move. Put his things on the truck last and if he has a toy chest that is the very last thing to go on the truck or trailer so it is the first thing off. Once again involve him in the move, let him help.


We used professional movers who were great with our son and this was their suggestion. They gave him things to carry and they put his toy chest on the truck last. The very first thing off the truck was his toy box which they had him show them where he wanted it placed in his room. He spent the rest of the time inventorying his toy to make sure nothing was lost and by the time he finished the movers were finished. He came out of his room long enough to waive good-by. My son was 3 at that time.

[ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question
]



orphans answered Monday August 8 2011, 6:46 am:
Like the answerer below has said, You need to let him know in a childish way. 3 is a very difficult age. You need to really let him know that its a good thing, and how it will benefit him. When you tell him, let Grandpa be there. Explain how your moving into a new home, where he will have a nice room that he can help decorate and have all the space he can have. Obviously dont make a promise you cant keep e.g. "You can have a pet" or "you can have all the toys you want" if you can't keep them. But it is something you have to do, and explain how Grandpa will come and visit, and how he will still see him. He will (as harsh as it sounds) have to get used to it either way, but don't get upset when you tell him: Sound happy and cheerful. If you get upset, he'll get upset.

Hope i helped :)

[ orphans's advice column | Ask orphans A Question
]



xXVioletRibbonXx answered Sunday August 7 2011, 10:25 pm:
Well, explain it in a childish way. That mommy and him get to move into a house (or appartment) of your own.He can decorate his room how he wants, and he'll still be able to see his grandpa. He'll have to ease into the idea. but its really all you can do

[ xXVioletRibbonXx's advice column | Ask xXVioletRibbonXx A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: 1.2mm Earring Gauges??
Next Question >>> Why do I pee when I come?

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker