about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

ok so i have a boyfriend that i've been with for about 6 months now. im 16, my boyfriend is turning 19 in september And about four months into the relationship, i got raped by his older brother and now his family is blaming me and telling ppl it wasnt raped so now im questioning myself if it was rape or not. and then the cops got involved because my boyfriend called the cops since i told him what happened when i slept over. so when the cops were investigating, they found out that me and my boyfriend have been having sex as well. so now me & andrew arent even allowed to see each other legally and im just wondering if i should stay with him after all this happening, we want to have kids in the future and he even asked me to marry him...is this a good idea?

First of all I'm sorry you had to go through the situation with your boyfriend's brother. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Don't let anyone tell you it was. If you didn't consent to the sex, then it was rape. Ignore these people who are making you question your own judgement. Your boyfriend did the right thing by calling the cops.

I think you have a great partner in your boyfriend, someone who truly cares for you and wants what's best for you. While it will be hard right now because of the legal issues, I don't think you should break up unless you think the relationship won't be able to stand the separation. I would suggest waiting until you're 18 to before having sex with him again since if you get caught now, he can go to jail over it. There are so many other ways of showing your love for each other.

I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will get better. Keep your chin up and use this time of no sex to strengthen your relationship. Good luck. I wish you the best.

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what are some good couple songs

You can find lots of love songs at the following sites.
http://www.lovesongs.com/
http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/
http://www.soundexp.com/

Some that my husband and I listen to are below. The first is our couple's song.
Bless the Broken Road-Rascal Flatts
I Melt-Rascal Flatts
You're the Inspiration-Chicago
I Swear-John Michael Montgomery or All4One
Still Get a Thrill-Brad Cotter
Because You Loved Me-Celine Dion
Cross My Heart-George Strait
I Wanna Love You Forever-Jessica Simpson
All My Life-KCi and Jojo
You Had Me From Hello-Kenny Chesney
Amazed-Lonestar
Come Away With Me-Norah Jones
Unchained Melody-Righteous Brothers
It's Your Love-Faith Hill and Tim McGraw
I Dare You-Shedaisy
Before Me and You-Shedaisy
I Will Always Love You-Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton



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Hey..I just wanted to know if anyone knew any websites where u could download free music and is it safe.Like can u get viruses with it? Thankss.Because i had kazaa but then like 3 weeks ago my computer froze everytime and i had to get it fixed. So please tell me some good websites yall might know.
I rate high too!
Brenda

Kazaa has a lot of spyware in it. You might try Limewire or Bearshare. They tend to have more sources so you can get more music from them anyway. With all downloading programs you run the risk of getting spyware or a virus. To help keep from getting your computer infected, scan everything you download with your antivirus before opening it.

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I dont know why i feel so hurt by my boyfriend. I live in florida he lives in pensavainla we promised not to date anyone except each other this year until we see each other next summer. Every time i send him an email or write him a note and he doesnt respond my heart crumbles. its said that distance makes the heart grow fond but being away from him is killing me. I dont know what to do. I never felt like this before I love him soo much! Please Please help. Im tired of crying myself to sleep.
xoxoLexixoxo

Send him another email or note telling him how you feel when he doesn't respond. If he doesn't answer, then the best thing for you to do is to move on. I know it's hard right now, but you deserve someone that will take the time to respond to you, even if it's only a short note or email saying I'm thinking of you too.

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would any body help me by advising me wether to study MCA in computer or MBA/insystem as i am confused to which one is better for me in my future practical life and which one is more demanded.
thanks

It depends on which interests you. If you like computers, I'd say that one has the better outlook since nearly everything today is computer-ran. It's also a growing field with plenty of variety to keep you from getting bored. I would go for the MCA but take some business classes also so you'll have a background in business if you choose to open your own business. Another option if you think you can handle the stress of it is to do a double major and study both.

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Alright, first some background info. Im 16 and im a virgin, never done anything sexual with a guy. Ok now..my period is a week late for some reason and my mom is freaking out and asking me if ive gotten it like every 2 or 3 hours. Recently i have really cut back on like really fatty food, ive started running about a mile and half 2 or 3 times a week, and i started a job..which is a bit stressfull at times. Those things can make it come late right? Ive also felt like ive been going to get it, sore boobs, wicked bad cramps, headache that wont go away no matter if i take tylenol or not. I want to stop freaking out...so if you guy know anything that can help me out or at least help me chill my mom out..that would be fabulous. Thanks in advance.

Dietary changes, exercise changes, and stress can all make your period late or sometimes not even come at all.

Direct your mom to the webpage below. It has information on what can cause amenorrhea (no periods). I think she'll find it quite informative, especially if she's noticed you're dieting, exercising more, and under some stress.
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/articles/53430-2.asp

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A lot of my friends smoke. This means that whenever I hang around with them they are smoking and they often offer me cigarettes. I have always said no because I have my priciples but recently I have been smoking with them. I found that it was quite relaxing and I liked it. I really don't want to do it anymore but I enjoy it and as my friends do it, it's tempting. How do I stop before I get too addicted?

As a smoker who started when I was young, I know how hard it is to quit after you've been smoking for a while. I am trying to quit smoking now and here's a few things that I've found are helping.

1) Try not to be around other smokers. Most people trying to quit do better when they're not around smoke.
2) When you get the urge to smoke, distract yourself. Go for walks, exercise (believe me after a hard workout you have a hard time smoking), go play a game, etc.
3) Try sucking on a piece of hard candy or chewing gum when you get the urge. I had a friend tell me once that I had an oral fetish because they always saw me with something (a cigarette, candy, the tip of my pen, a lollipop, etc) in my mouth. Sucking on peppermints took care of the urge to have something in my mouth.
4) When someone offers you a cigarette, picture what it will do to your body after time.
5) Think of the cost of smoking. Cigarettes are expensive. When you get the urge to smoke, think about what else you can buy with that money.
6) If you're smoking because of stress in your life, try talking to someone or keeping a journal. Just getting the feelings out will help.
7) When you get the urge to smoke, take a 10 minute break and do something else. The urge to smoke usually passes in a few minutes whether you smoke or not.

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I'm 16 and I first got my period when I was 9. Well, I know its normal for the first couple of years for it not to be regular but I've had mine for 7 years and its still not regular.
For some time I've been wanting to go on birth control to level out my hormones and make my period more regular.
I don't want to be on it for a long time becasue I'm not really sexually active and I know that being on it for a long time can be bad for you.
So my question is can I be on it for just a little while to regulate my period/hormones then get off and have everything stay regular?

I, myself, went on the pill to regulate my period. When I went off the pill, my period would be regular for a couple months then go back to coming whenever it felt like. Talk to your doctor or gyno and get a checkup. Some of the lower dose birth control pills don't have as much side effects.

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My boyfriend and I have been having sex since late June. Last night he asked me if i got it yet ( i got it june 30th, after we first started to) and i said no but im not worried about it im going to wait a few days because my comes so randomly. and it never comes on the same date. he is yelling at me about he knows he asked girls, but i think i know mmy fuckin period and a bunch of girls periods come different times and late. he is really stressing me out, should i go to a clinic to see or buy a test now?

Cycles vary from woman to woman. If you have irregular periods, there will be more of a difference. Yes, you should know about your period. He should judge when your period should come on other girls. I wouldn't stress about it because it'll probably make your period not come at all. Unless you have other symptoms of pregnancy (morning sickness, breast tenderness, tiredness, peeing a lot, etc) I wouldn't worry about getting a test just yet.

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Is it just me or is everyone getting raped in teh last two days? All these guyz got these girls getting naked for them and jumpin in bed with them... and if its not that... it's a guy having a guy friend make a move on them... it all just seems weird that this all happens at once... anyone else wanna give me an explanation?

I think perhaps these people are just now getting the courage to speak out. As a survivor of an attempted rape, I know from experience that it's hard to find the nerve to tell anyone. Maybe since others are posting on the board, these people have finally found the nerve to speak out.

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ok well i have a bf that iv been gion out with for about 3 months,im not sure wether to stay with him or not,i mean all of my friends are telling me to brake up with him and try out some other gies,but i love him and sometimes i dont i have no clue what to do,pleasse help me!!!

While your friends may think they're being helpful, ultimately the choice is yours. If he makes you happy, I see no reason to break up with him.

Just tell your friends that you made your choice and you would appreciate it if they respected your choice, whether they agree or not. True friends will respect your right to choose for yourself and not make an issue out of a boyfriend.

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Now everyone is dating really young and having boyfriends when their 13. i'm 13 and have had a couple of boyfriends but guys are just plain jerks sometimes at that age. most girls are crazy about dating young but older girls that have waited say that it is worth it to wait to date until your older. does anyone have any opinions on the topic?

Guys can be plain jerks at any age. Personally I waited until I was nearly 17 to date. I felt that when I was older, I was more mature and more ready for a lasting commitment to another person. I didn't feel that way at 13. I think that it's a personal choice that each person has to make when they feel the time is right. For one person that age may be 12, for others it may be 20.

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18/M About 6 months ago i was burned bigtime by a girl that i liked. In retrospect i went overboard with planing out every miniscule detail. Now a new girl has found her way into my life. She likes the same things as me and shares the same musical interest, BUT the problem is that i am also good friends with her parents and im not sure if they would let her date yet. What would be a good way to get the parents approval. (The parents own a local coffee shop that I frequent)

Since her parents know you, you already have one major hurdle out of the way. You haven't said how old this girl is but I assume she's younger than 18 if she needs her parents approval to go on a date.

I would suggest asking her parents first and suggesting a date that would not put their daughter in a uncomfortable situation. Something to the effect of "Mr. and Mrs. Jones, I met your daughter and I would like to get to know her and spend time with her. I was wondering if it would be okay for me to ask her to go to a concert (or whatever) with me on Friday night. I can have her home by 11 (or whatever time you think they'll go for best)."

Her parents will probably appreciate your maturity in asking them first rather than trying to go around them. A day date may make them feel more comfortable so you can also try that.

Good luck. I hope it works out for you.

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A while back a girl toyed with my emotions for about three weeks. I realize now how stupid i was. But now I'm afraid that i will get cought up in the same thing with this new girl that i met HELP!!! 17/m

First you need to realize that not all girls are like this. The next time you meet a new girl, take the time to get to know her a little before jumping into a relationship or even asking her out. After a couple weeks of friendship, you should probably be able to tell if she's serious about you.

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ok so this yr im a freshman & the 1st day i have to bring EVERYTHING! i mean biders books supplies, gywm clothes, gym shoes,,its ridiculous! whats the best way to get it all there without lookin lik a total nerd in front of my new school?!?!

Lockers are a lifesaver in high school. You can stash your books, binders, etc in it when you're not using them so you don't have to lug them around. If your school offers them, sign up to get one as soon as you can since they tend to go fast sometimes.

You might consider buying a big binder and some dividers. That way you only have to have one binder and it covers all the classes. You can buy the little plastic supply holders to go in the front on the binder fairly cheap or get a binder that has compartments for that stuff.

A good quality backpack with plenty of compartments will also help. Just find one that fits your style.

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sometimes i seriously just cant sleep...is it bad for an almost 15 yr old to use sleeping pills?
any suggestions on what type (if its not bad)?

Generally they don't prescribe sleeping pills unless you have a severe insomnia problem since sleeping pills can be addictive. Have you talked to your doctor?

You might try getting a box of Nytol or Sominex from the drugstore. Just be sure to only use them when you really need them.

For an occasional help, you might try taking 1 Benadryl capsule.

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I have to admit, I'm a huge wuss and I can't drink any hard alcohol straight. I always have to mix it with soda or something. Is there any way to make drinking alcohol straight easier or more tolerable?

A lot of people mix alcohol with drinks. I wouldn't worry about it. If you find the taste of one alcoholic drink awful, just try a different kind or try one of the flavored alcohols. They're quite good. You may have to experiment to find what you like.

It varies from person to person. My husband drinks rum and coke while I prefer peach schnapps straight. Just a matter of preference.

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ok if someone is pregnent how soon would morning sickness kick in? and do all women get morning sickkness? do most women get morning sickness by the time they are 2 weeks pregnent?

Morning sickness usually kicks in by the time you miss your period, if you even have morning sickness. Some women, myself included, have morning sickness from the week after conception on.

Not all women do get morning sickness. It varies in severity. Some has little or no morning sickness while others are sick 24/7.

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ok i had asked a question this morning buti have to say something else that i need advice on that happened tonight...

ok well i just gto home from a party and this guy tommy asked me to have sex with him and i said no and he called me a tesse and alot of other guys called me a tease b/c i wouldn't let them do ne nasty stuff to me the tommy took me into a room and put duck tape on my mouth and then un zipped his pants and mine...and then he took the rest of my cloths off and made me stand on the bed naked he was just lookin @ me...then he fingered me and raped me and he told me that if i told ne one that he would do it agian and kill me...there was no way for me to go b/c hes a football wresaler and really strong...by the way im 16 and he was 18...i don't want to tell neone because hes on of my moms ex boyfriends son and she treats him like a son and i would never think that he would do nething like that...HELP what should i do?

You need to tell someone immediately. If your mom doesn't believe you, tell another trusted adult and keep telling them until they listen to you. What he did is wrong and he can go to jail over it. He took something very special from you, something you can never get back. You need to tell not only to protect yourself from it happening again, but also to prevent it from happening to someone else.

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ok I have been doing about 60 situps a day and now my stomiac hurts in the bottom of it. REALLY BAD to. Whats wrong and whats going on. I will rate all 5'd 4 good answers. (Please exuse the misspelled words) Thanks

It sounds like you've just overworked those muscles a bit. Give it a day or two to rest then try again. Also when starting a new exercise, it's better to start with a lower number of repetitions and work your way up. That way your body can get used to the exercise.

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