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Should i stay with him or not?? PLEASE HELP
ok so i have a boyfriend that i've been with for about 6 months now. im 16, my boyfriend is turning 19 in september And about four months into the relationship, i got raped by his older brother and now his family is blaming me and telling ppl it wasnt raped so now im questioning myself if it was rape or not. and then the cops got involved because my boyfriend called the cops since i told him what happened when i slept over. so when the cops were investigating, they found out that me and my boyfriend have been having sex as well. so now me & andrew arent even allowed to see each other legally and im just wondering if i should stay with him after all this happening, we want to have kids in the future and he even asked me to marry him...is this a good idea?
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i think you should stay together because it sounds like you're really in love with each other. this might be hard but maybe stop having sex just for the leagal part of things. i don't have any suggestions about his brother though except to stay away from him.
modelkate11
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His brother raped you. Things would never be normal. Hoildays visiting the man that raped you? Your childrens Uncle raped you? How does that sound? Not to plesant to me. If you love your boyfriend and believe he is the one then by all means spend the rest of your life with him, but the brother thing might be a little awkward...
Sorry to hear about that.
HIH.Rate me
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omgg grl. well it is rape if you said "no". but you are too young yo be thinking about kids and marriage. and he is a good guy if he called the cops. but i think if you want stay with him but i dont think its a very good idea. follow your heart.
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Everything aside, I would tell any 16 year old that they aren't ready for marriage. At 16, you haven't fully formed your personality - a lot of growth happens between 18-25. Some people leave university and feel like a completely different person!
Your boyfriend isn't finished growing up, either. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. You could grow apart, but you could also grow in your own ways and stay together.
But thinking about marriage and kids? Everyone thinks these things, and that's fairly normal, but you need to understand that this type of commitment should not be entered into until you are much older.
Your age difference is important for two reasons:
1. You are at different points in your lives. You're still in high school, and he's probably not.
2. It's illegal for him to have sex with you. You are putting him at risk if you continue to date him.
At the end of the day, only you can decide what is right for you. If you have doubts, take time to explore them and really think about what you want out of a relationship. As well as thinking about the future, it's important to think about RIGHT NOW. You're living in the present, and that's where this relationship is happening.
Best of luck.
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hunnie im sorry aobut you being raped. if you two love eachother, then fight through this. but only if you think it will last. if you think its going to end after highschool, and you dont think its a hgeu thing, then dont burden your self with it. but like i said, if you guys love eachother and want to be together and you KNOW that you will be? it wll be so worth it in the end once this is over. good luck.
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ok ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!! and don't let anyone tell you otherwise if you get raped then its their fault not yours!
i would maybe back away from the family for a little and give it time to start blowing over but ya know don't break up with your bf and it would probably be a good idea not to get married just yet
♥ Nikki
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First of all, the marrying him thing, that's wierd. I think you should stay with him, forget his family. Rape is never your fault. If someone forced you to have sex with them, and he shoved his dick into you, that is not your fault. If it was consentual, then yes you are half at fault. I think that you should stay with him, if he wants to be with you and vis-a-vis. It'll all work out when you turn 18. Stear clear of his family though, because if you want to see him, and he wants to see you, the law can't arrest him or anything, even if someone does call the cops (his family)
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First of all I'm sorry you had to go through the situation with your boyfriend's brother. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Don't let anyone tell you it was. If you didn't consent to the sex, then it was rape. Ignore these people who are making you question your own judgement. Your boyfriend did the right thing by calling the cops.
I think you have a great partner in your boyfriend, someone who truly cares for you and wants what's best for you. While it will be hard right now because of the legal issues, I don't think you should break up unless you think the relationship won't be able to stand the separation. I would suggest waiting until you're 18 to before having sex with him again since if you get caught now, he can go to jail over it. There are so many other ways of showing your love for each other.
I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will get better. Keep your chin up and use this time of no sex to strengthen your relationship. Good luck. I wish you the best.
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Legally, you sound like you need help. But as far as your relationship, you need to follow your heart because nobody else knows what's going on. Hopefully something works out.
<b>♥</b> Melissa
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he loves you, you love him. say together if its what you both really want. he called the police on his own brother, it just shows he's on your side. his family might try to turn him against you but if you love eachother that much then you have to make it work.
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For the love of God, NO! You shouldn't have anything to do with him or his family ever again. Since you asked for advice, you realize that at 16 you don't have the mature judgment or you would have never ever been in this situation in the first place. Get out now and find yourself a good, healthy relationship for a 16yr old.
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No, is it far from a good idea. As much as you'd like to be with him, you can't and shouldn't. You're illegal, meaning that you should not have been with him in the first place. You do not have a future with someone that much older than you when you're only 16. And even if his age was appropriate, I'd get out of his life. His brother is in denial of raping you. That is one sick family that you do not want to keep down the same path with. I can't believe that a 19 year old just can't find a girl his own age, so he goes for 16 year old innocent girl. He got whatever he could get his hands on, and that is you. You having sex with him is giving him what he wants. Hes not in love, he wants what you can give, and that is every bit of your innocence which is lost. Sorry, but you're in deep trouble and need to get yourself out of that family.
[I don't have to know what hes done, hes 19, I don't want to know him any further, hes had sex with you, thats enough information, hes a pervert, end of story, I'm not going any further with this discussion.]
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you love him and he loves you. of course! yeah you should wait a while until its legal(or not) but dont let that seperate you!
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of course you should stay with him, why wouldnt you did he do something? really now you can just wait the two years or so, or hell why not see him illegaly?
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