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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Heyyy..... So I like pleasing myself. But I do it like once in a month of two. I'm up to 2 vingers almost 3 (I have smAll hands) anayway I tried difrent tings but it doesn't fit* and its sorta painfull when I forse it and then I lose the feeling...* also I wanna have sex but I dunno with who ( I'm not that pretty) and I'm afraid of the fact that I'm loosing my virgin...* is it gona be painfull?* please help!* thx !!

I don't know what objects you have tried, hopefully you're old enough (legal age) to visit a sex store to purchase a dildo. But no matter what objects you try, forcing something in with out lubrication, that will indeed be uncomfortable enough to be considered kinda painful. You don't lose anything when exploring your sexuality as you are now doing, having sex with a partner, and having someone enter your vagina with fingers or penis is only a further step of the process of your sexual debut...its not a one time, one night event but a process over time. You don't lose anything. Virginity is an antiquated word that is not the correct word to ever have been used to describe taking your time to explore your sexuality when you're ready. Virginity is a word created by men during a time when women were considered property to be bought and sold and the fad at the time said she had more value if they knew she was for sure a virgin because a man didnt want to marry a woman who might be pregnant by some other man but not showing yet. It was all about his "wealth and property" not passing into the hands of some bastard child he did not father.
Whatever you do, do not have sex with someone else until you are ready. Your mind may play with the idea and get excited but that doesnt mean you are really ready.
I am going to list the website of a gal who answers all sexuality and relationship and dating advice in 3-4 min videos on a you tube site called Sex+ exploring sexuality and relationships. She is about 23 and has very accurate up to date information on everything, including options of period products, protection, different sexual orientations, etc... Please watch whichever appeals to or applies to you.

http://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen/videos

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we been together for 4 years lived together for 4 months and things changed since we moved together he shows interest in me we don't make love and when we do he just lays there while i do all the work n it makes me feel like he dosent want me... he says he loves me but he dosent show it 2 me... he goes 2 work comes home takes a shower goes on the computer n forgets im in the same room, he says his tired but i feel neglected he wont give me anymore... so we fight n fight n fight... he does his own thing n i feel like his not ready 2 seatle down because its all about him, we fight over money because he spends way too much and nothing 2 show off 4 im upset because his going away for the weekend 2 a wedding n didnt even asked me 2 go with him... he calls me alot bad names and his upset because i told him lately has been all about himself he cant even make me finnish... I find myself very lost, hurt and at times down right depressed.This relationship is taking its toll on me...I don't know how much he loves me, not when he acts like this. I don't know how to explain to him I need more stability in our relationship. I want to stay, and love him but he always saying you dont like my ways then live, his just not concerned about what im feeling. I never want to leave but this crazy relationship is One that is slowly wearing on me. I don't know how to reach him when he goes into this dark place, his anger, his sadness and I'm affraid that ill lose this very sweet loving side of me if I continue to go through this. I am hopeful, I am faithful and I see the good in all things and people but the negativity makes me loose my faith n my strenght too keep fighting for this relationship.. I don't want to become bitter or defensive. I don't want to become damaged. I don't want to become someone incapable of loving. I have been an emotional wreck. i want him 2 support me, be a friend, a lover, and be there for when i need him... his actions makes me feel like he dosent care about my opinions or how i feel. i feel like he dosent want to be in it like i am. his trying to live a single life and that dosent work when we are in a relationship.. im concerned and he dosent understand that we should be in together and we are not... we are in a living situation now is different things change

There's a saying in life, "If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong." You said, I have been an emotional wreck.
That is indicator enough that something is wrong. There is no magic wand or thing you could do to make it better. My guess is the two of you are not right for each other and it took living together to find out and that is a good thing. Being with a person 24/7 is going to reveal things about him to you or about you to him that you wouldn't discover otherwise in just a dating relationship no matter how long. So don't look at it as a failure but part of the relationship and dating process to determine for sure if the person you're with is one of those to make a life time committed partnership with, whether with marriage or without. Thankfully you found out soon enough that you are not going to work. It could be that he began to see things about you that he could no longer ignore when he was just dating. When dating, there was the opportunity for a regular sex partner, but although one of the aspects of a romantic relationship, its much more than that. Perhaps he talked himself into believing there was great sexual chemistry between you...but once living together and you are even more easily accessible, he discovers what he hid from or didn't realize before, that there isn't enough sexual chemistry to keep him interested in you. That coupled with him not being honest with you, afraid to tell you how he really feels and end it, or perhaps a good chunk of the selfishness of I am going to get what I need for me even though I don't love her. He may have said the words I love you, but actions speak louder than words. A person who loves someone is always going to put that person and their needs over his/her own. A guy in love will also want to uphold and support a womans hopes and dreams and goals in life Since that is not happening, he is not in love with you, no matter what he thinks he is. We nurture and encourage those we love, we don't tear them down with hurtful words. Another sign of no love or incapability to love.
From what you said near the end, i want him 2 support me, be a friend, a lover, and be there for when i need him.. it would seem you have a good idea of how each partner should treat the other, thats not happening. I was in a marriage where I did all the work and yet was verbally abused thru 3 kids and 30 yrs before I woke up and left. I hope it doesnt take you that long dear.
Either you two have no chemistry and he is a wimp of a man and is just hoping you will leave if he treats you rotten enough or ignores you instead of being brave enough to say he's discovered there is no chemistry on his part with you.
What you want is someone with equal attraction for you. My new husband of 4 years looks at me with the same admiring glances he gave me when he first met me, also whether clothed or naked, I still spark passion in him and we're both older people. Thats the way it should be. When you have the right guy, the living situation won't make things change for the worse or remove the romance or mystery, it actually gets better.
I think by the things you said you wanted to avoid having happen to you, that you already know deep down its time to leave him. But change is scary. So you just wanted someone else to agree with you that there is nothing left to stay for and its time to move on. If you feel the need for someone to talk to further, I know I did when I left my ex, then feel welcome to write me on my column. Just give me a short reminder by synopsis of your situation so I can remember you. There are so many people who write with their version of a bad relationship but the details differ.

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I'm sorry if this is graphic for any guy. So August 3rd I had unprotected sex with this guy but he didn't cum in me. I took plan B August 5th and started bleeding (like a period) August 9th. Then, I had protected sex with the same guy again August 28th and the 29th I started bleeding dark blood which is abnormal color for the first day of my period and lots of blood which is also abnormal. Could I be pregnant? What is the reason for having two periods in a span of two weeks? 16/F

I am in my fifties and over my life have seen many variations in my period, all different from my normal period, but not abnormal or to worry about.

For peace of mind, take a pregnancy test. But

I have experienced the darker blood which was present to see on toilet paper for example but never soaked a sanitary napkin as a normal flow would. It was more sticky and would stain the pad but that was it. There was no pain or discomfort otherwise. Then a week later after it stopping or maybe up to 2 weeks later, the heavier than normal flow would show up. While it might look like two periods, it was actually all of the one and the same cycle. Something, maybe stress, delayed your period so much but your body wouldn't allow it to just release and begin flowing. What little did release, did not flow out quickly like a regular period but was more thick, sticky and dark even brownish. Once your body decided to let the uterine lining go, it had been there a week or two longer and in that time had more time to grow even thicker, thats how a doctor explained it to me, the linings can be of differing thicknesses. So when you get your flow it will be heavier, needing to change pads more often and for longer. Something called gushing can happen too. It can happen during teen years when periods are more likely to be irregular or during menopause years for older women.
I experienced the uncontrollable gushing after a long delayed period. It was more than heavy. A fresh pad was soaked to its limits and clothing and chair stained after ten or fifteen minutes. I changed pads, got the same thing happening. Luckily I had read a book on menopause and what to do in this case. I am not talking about a cure for women who have this gushing sort of period each cycle...those need to be put on the pill to help regulate the bodys cycle to becoming more natural. But if you experience an occasional cycle with a much too heavy flow so you cant leave the house, remember this trick. The same area one holds a finger under the nose to prevent a sneeze has nerve endings that will respond and stop the heavy flow and bring it down to normal. You take the skin between your nose and upper lip and pinch hard and hold it between your thumb and forefinger for about 2 minutes. You may need a minute or two longer but that should do the trick.
My gyn. said that in most cases, if there is no pain in the area accompanying what you see, then likely there is nothing to worry about.
When I was your age, I also had very irregular periods, never the same time of month, some lasting 2 day and some 2 weeks, and there was nothing wrong with me. I went on to give birth to 3 healthy girls later in life.
Only if you have a heavy flow that will not stop no matter what you do or you have pain, should you get in to see the doctor immediately as it could be something serious.

If you bled a little due to tearing of skin or hymen, it would have been fresh blood not dark and brownish. Irregular and unusual periods are not a sign of being pregnant. Its a sign that no fertlized egg had a chance to implant in the lining of your uterus and thats why your period flow has started.

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On the 1st (yes in two days) I'm moving into a place with my boyfriend. I was really excited until the past couple days. I feel like maybe this isn't the right move. My problem is he's always working and when he's not working I'm usually working. It's really starting to get to me and I'm worried about money.

He has two jobs working about 50-70 hours a week and I work one job at two places and work 36-40 hours a week but I make more than him an hour.

Together we make around $3,400 a month, 43,000 a year.


Finance wise (monthly), Rent is $758, renters insurance $20 Electric around $300, High Speed Internet will be around $70, Groceries around $200, we don't want cable TV since we have Netflix through a family account,
My car payments are $316, his car insurance is $130 mine is $160. Both of our cellphone bills together are $90. Gas is about $150 for both cars (I have a hybrid). I know there are other bills that I can't think of right now but with what I've already taken out above that still leaves $1,006 a month free.

This first month is $1,003 and already I'm paying more than my fair share. I'm paying $600 worth of rent, $50 down on electric, $20 on renters insurance and $160 for application fees. What has he paid so far? Nothing. He says he's going to pay $400 of the rent but that's not half of the $1,003 like we agreed when we started. Now I'm worried for myself because on the 12th I have to pay $160 car insurance and on the 25th I pay $316 car payment and I'm sure there's going to be more electric due sometime this month and other things we need to buy. I plan on selling some stuff tomorrow at an antique mall to get maybe $150 extra and I already sold a phone that I loved for $200. He hasn't sold anything at all and I feel like I'm doing all of the work. Yet he's the one who's working 60 hours a week while I only work around 36 a week. That doesn't add up to me and it's really frustrating that he's always working especially when he's saying he works so much so we have more money...

When I told him how I felt about him not paying his fair amount he said "We won't have to worry about money baby we'll be fine" and then I told him that I absolutely refuse to pay anything more than my fair half in the future and that it was his apartment too and he said "but it's not like that and you know it..." as in that I should know he's going to start pulling his weight soon but how do I know that when I pay for everything?

Though you say he's a boyfriend, in reality, with the amount of time going into both of you working and schedules not allowing for time for you to be together and nurture your relationships, all you will be is like two ships passing in the night.
So partner or not...the only Real reason to go into an apartment together with him is for a Financial reason. Since your inner voice is screaming at you that this is not a good situation and your gut feeling is that he will be an unpredictable, unreliable roomie, as far as carrying his fair share of the finances, its' time to back out now. But you must act quickly...you've already paid some fees in which you hopefully will get back but may not. No, this is not a rash decision based on feelings. Too many people today get themselves into a bad situation because they have not been taught to listen to their intuition, their inner voice or gut feelings. The "What if" questions ringing through your head could possibly be coming from your guardian angels who have your best interests at heart. The times in life that I listened to those concerns in my gut that wouldn't just quit bugging me where times in looking back, that I can now see I made the right decision. Good luck to you dear.

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there's this guy.. he flirts with me alot and tries to touch me everytime im with him.... but there's another friend of mine to whom he does the same thing.. can anyone tell me dat what does that exactly means... i really like this guy alot.. what does that exactly means?

It could be a couple things. Without observing the guy 24/7 I have no way of knowing why but I can take some guesses.
It is possible that he may be an overly friendly type and since you've seen him flirt with a friend of yours, this is what he is like normally, he may even make friends easily with guys but not flirt...just a very outgoing person, and so you can't rely on that to know whether he has any deeper personal interest in you.

If he is just a freindly sort, he may actually be what a female calls a player, one who makes a sport of wooing a girl and dating her and getting her to believe shes the only one for him while he is doing the same thing, romancing half a dozen girls and making promises to them as well. Usually this goes deeper than flirting and its about having sex with as big a variety as he can get...its an actual addiction of sorts.

Or if he's young, in teen years or college age and has not yet had a serious girlfriend, he may be flirting with any girl he finds acceptable to see if one will respond back and become his girlfriend. Guys often don't know how to communication well. He may be an honestly nice guy and be hoping to date a wonderful girl but not be too picky yet, he just wants to get started on the dating process and this is how he thinks it will work. However, it causes confusion in the women he directs his flirting towards.

I do not know which of these guys he is but you can find out by directly asking him. You have a good reason to ask, especially since he goes to the point of coming close enough to touch. If a girl backs away from him, it means she
is not interested or attracted. If she stays her ground, its a sign to him, subconsciously that she likes him back. But he wont be totally sure until he talks with a girl about it. He's not likely to start the conversation topic to discover if she likes him.
So heres what you might say...it not awkward because you are basing your question on his actions and body language: Hey Tony, I have noticed by your body language that you seem to be attracted to me, at least, thats what it means when a person chooses to get close enough to touch a person and talk to them. However, I am confused because you have acted the same way towards my girlfriend. So I would just like some clarification. Is this just part of your personality. Do you like to touch all people and be overly friendly with everyone you meet? Or are you attracted to both my friend and I at the same time? Or are you just hoping to find one girl who is attracted to you as well? If he answers yes on the last one, then it would be safe to tell him that you like him enough to want to get to know him better and then you two start seeing each other more to discover if really there is something there beyond the initial attraction or not. If so, hang out with him, if not, just tell him you discovered you don't feel any chemistry with him. That doesnt need any more details in explanation and most guys get that.
Good luck dear.

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Is it safe to pet stray cats?

My apartment complex has a little mascot... a stray cat that roams the grounds that they keep food out for. I run into him a few days a week and he's super friendly.

I'm just wondering if it's safe to pet him?

Is there anything he can have that would linger with me even if I washed my hands afterward?

With the apartment complex, the likely situation is that this stray is not a feral cat but someone's pet that they cruelly left behind when their new place would not allow pets. So the cat has to fend for it self. The apt grounds are the only home it recalls and so it hangs around and goes for handouts from the people who live there. Due to its situation, it may not fully trust people enough to come inside their apt or maybe, it may be looking for someone to adopt him. You may be safe as far as possibly being attacked by the cat, and if you wash your hands, from animal dander if you have allergies. But without taking the animal under your wing and taking it to a vet for a checkup, you can't know for sure if it is suffering from any illness. My sister took in such a cat, abandoned at her apt complex. She fed it and paid it attention and soon it began to come into her apt and spend some time there. The cat eventually though it roamed the whole complex for it had made many friends, decide it liked my sisters place best and stayed there the majority of the time, sleeping there overnight too. So she considered it now her cat and when she had to move and new place wouldn't take cats, she asked me, a home owner to take the cat which I did. Ashley got along fine with our other pets and our kids and was a very loving cat. We had no problems with him.

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I have to notify my office of the complex that I live in about renewing the lease or moving. I only have 6 days to let them know otherwise they charge a huge fee that I cant afford. My fiance and I will be paying 1100 for a 1 bed room in a complex that has a pool gym and tennis court that we barely use. The rent use to be 945 but it goes up depending on the market. In order to move most places require first last and security which could end up being 2000. We dont have that kind of money to come up with. I like where we live but the rent is way to much for the area we live in and for a 1 bedroom. Most places we looked at online that are nice are almost the same price a couple hundred cheaper a month but we would have to pay first and last also expenses to move. Is it better to pay the down payments and have a cheaper rent every month or is it better to not have to pay a down payment and pay the extra every month?

The answer will depend on how long you plan to stay in a new location. Over time, even if there is the initial expense at moving in, you will in time a label for us, or perhaps lack of a reach the point where you are paying the cheaper rent per month provided theirs has not also gone up. In this economy I honestly have no idea how apts can keep renters when money is tight for everyone. You would think they'd stop raising the rents.
In the long run, its cheaper to move if you plan to stay a long time there, otherwise it ends up being the same expense.

Lets use some easy figures to get a good picture. Let say your rent was $1000 but now up at $1,200. You want to find a place for $1,000 per month or lower. It will cost $2,000 for first/last/security up front.
But the place is $1,000 a month. In a years time, the extra 200 dollars you would have paid over 12 months comes to $2,400 dollars. Move in extras are $2000. So after 10 months of being in a new place,( based on the figures in my example only) any after that period of time can be considered the point at which you are not getting ahead financially.

The issue is about coming up with the big lump sum all at once. My daughters have faced that issue several times, and a couple times have moved in either with me, their dad or friends, to be able to save up the money needed for the F/L/Sof upfront renting costs. If you had people you could borrow the money from, you would have to pay them payments of 200 a month for 10 months to pay them back and so still be paying the rate that you paid at your old place. But eventually even in that scenerio, you are eventually ahead of the game.
I hope this made it clear.
You might try looking for a rental situation other than an apartment. I have a daughter who found a place on Craig list. A guy owned a split level home and found the need because of tight times, to take in a renter. She gets the entire lower level of the home with own bathroom and everything, even a separate entrance if she wishes to use it. Being it is a home owner who rents to her, the liklihood of renting going up too often is not going to happen. The only thing that can change for him is his yearly taxes on the house or perhaps water and garbage can over time have rates go up and he will split those costs possibly with the renters who use water and create garbage. But it shouldnt be any drastic leap in rent and not occur every 6 mos to a year as most apts seem to do with rent rates. He was even okay with her recent new boyfriend moving in there too as boyfriends situation deteriorated where he was staying.
It will be rough for a while, trying to stay with someone while saving up, or even getting the loan from someone and having to pay back, but better now than putting it off and it becoming even a more expensive switch in the future.
Check out your new neighborhood carefully. Rent could be cheaper cus more trashy people live there. It may not look that way but could be a problem area with high incidences of crime starting up. Good luck dear.

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I'm sorry this is a bit of a long read :3

My best friend, let's call her Z, is really pissing me off. I am known as the "nerdy, cute, gamer" girl (that's just who I am). There is a guy who has a crush on me (I kind of like him but I'm not sure), and she tries to get close to him just because she knows he likes me (she doesn't have a crush on him, I'm sure)! Every time in front of him, she acts like she is also a "nerdy, cute, gamer" type of girl when she's not at all! She always starts conversations online like, "oh sorry, i was gaming" (PLAYING GTA ONE TIME DOESN'T MAKE YOU A GAMER!!). In front of me, when I say something with words she doesn't understand or a character that's "too nerdy" for her to know, she just says she doesn't know what I'm talking about. But in front of others, she pretends she understands everything. She seems to do this in front of every group of people, in front of the populars, she acts popular, in front of the emos, she acts emo. She's always trying to establish herself as a certain "type", and it's different in front of different people! I love her to death, but she's really getting on my nerves?

Hon, I don't think she does this for the purpose of irritating and getting on your nerves.
An act is just that, acting like an actor or actress. Eventually the movie they're in is over and they go on with their lives.
Your friends problem is that she doesn't feel secure if she doesn't have a group she feels she fits into. I have seen this from other young people writing in who want to belong to a group. Somehow the label and the actions and trappings that go with it give them some sense of self worth.

Haha, i was like that as a teen. I remember wanting to belong somewhere. What I eventually discovered was a place I felt I belonged in a church youth group. o yes, this does happen to a lot of teens. Don't worry, eventually the people of any group, emos, gamers, populars, are going to see through her and realize she is not genuine and won't take her seriously. If your guy is smart, he will eventually see right through her and realize she is all talk, and if he likes gamer types, and someone who is self assured and Real, he may decide to become friends with you, or closer friends, and date.
In high school, I did not fit into a group that you could give a label to. And yet there were others just like me, average in everything so we didn't stand out and we were friends with each other. But because there was lack of "Focus" or Focal point between us, like for you gaming, for emo's, "dealing with pain", you can feel lost in the crowd. Thats' where your friend is at.

Just support her the best you can. If you know her well, think of what things are her strong points? And suggest that she focus on those. Maybe she hasn't discovered them yet. But when she does, she'll automatically be part of a group of people with the same focus. If she's so into acting the parts, perhaps drama is her thing. She might want to look into that.
With myself and church youth groups, I felt I belonged because I discovered a great affinity and interest in anything spiritual, it's where I grew leaps and bounds and in some ways surpassed the constructs and doctrines of the church because of how i was drawn to anything spiritual and of God.
So have patience with your friend, point out what you have noticed but in a nice way because she's not really doing something bad but doing a natural thing we all do, she just hasn't found her niche yet. Once she realizes that this is what she is doing, its a good chance she may stop trying to switch her act in different groups and start looking for where she does fit. She'll fit somewhere. It may not have a populer name, like those into Drama, they're not called the Stagers for those who love being on stage. Hope this helps give you perspective with your friend. Good luck dear.

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I have horrible anxiey and it causes me a lot of problems. The main problem this causes is the lack of ability to talk to anyone. I can not go up and talk to anyone for just conversational purposes unless they talk to me first. That is how I made friends. This is honestly annoying the crap out of me


a very disappointing situation that just came from it. There was a tutor I worked with for math at my college. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. My class ended about two months ago. I had to go to college for something I thought it would be a great opportunity to just go in the tutor lab and say hi and chat with her a bit. A friend of mine said he was going to be there as well so he said come in at the same time to work on some stuff so he said to me come when he is there. This is perfect because having a friend of mine there can make me more comfortable and help me create coversation. Now it is not like I want to get in this girls pants or something (hell she is engaged) but I just wanted to have a conversation about stuff and not be a completely anonymous person. I am so envious of all the people who are able to just go up to people and just chat. I can't do that at all.


so I go there, but instead of going inside I get too anxious and just paced around outside of the place for like ten minutes and then just when I was thinking of going inm, she leaves (turns out she was leaving early today). I am so frustrated now and filled with regret. My freaking anxiety totally prevented me from just going in just to say hi.

there's a chance I can see her again some time but I have no idea what the schedule is going to be like. And with my friend being there today, this was such a perfect opportunity and I wasted it,


I am now going to be feeling miserable for a while. No don't get me wrong this is not a huge problem that people should be losing their sleep over or anything but this is still frustrating to me. I really want to learn something from this and let it be the "last straw" moment.


Please someone, give me some good tips on how I can talk to this girl when I see her again? Should I call my friend and ask him to be there to help out like I could have this time?

You've posted this question before, and I know I answered you as others must have. In fact, I think it saw it with slightly different wording a second time unless it was a very almost exact same story but a different person.
If you did not like any of the advice last time, I don't think writing again will bring anything better, it's the same group of us here--a bunch of nice well mean folks of all ages and differing life experiences who love to help to the best of our ability. The likelihood of your finding someone here who is a professional that deals with anxiety problems with his patients on a daily basis is not going to happen. Besides, a professional would not give you some self help advice on a website, they would ask you to make an appointment to come in for a check up and some counseling. For all we know, maybe nothing positive you can try will make a change. You may need to go on medication for your anxiety problem. I won't go into my self help suggestions again. Don't worry, we aren't losing sleep over your problem but you likely are not at peace. When you are truly ready to learn how to deal with your anxiety problems, you will, but I don't think that now is the time, especially when people give advice and you repost the same question, it shows that your subconscious mind is only tinkering with the idea of overcoming this issue, but not seriously committed yet.

Well, its that or, perhaps you have some sort of class in school for which you need to write a paper and do research so you post a made up story here to see what response you would get and not enough advice givers responded so you had to repost again. If that's the case, be honest and tell us first that you are writing a paper for class about what average people in society think about anxiety problems and how to live with or overcome it. And you would like as much input as possible even tho this isn't a real person but for research only and the more random the better. Invite us to respond as if this was a persons real issue and then write your paper. Even if we know its not a real issue, we see lots of similar stories on here. Since most of us write out of our life experiences, including what we might have done wrong...what way not to go...we are likely not going to change how we respond to the next person with the almost exact same issue.

If you read the warning for this advice column, it does say to keep in mind that none of the advice is from professionals and that its entirely up to you to decide whether to use it or not. The fact that I took time to respond again, although I 've given my advice to you once before, is because I do care about you, I know how that feels to be in such a position. I also know that I did not take the steps to overcome it until I was ready. I agonized or felt miserable as you do for a long time before I did something to change myself--all without the help of a professional (unless you count God as a professional) I had to get to the point that I was so sick and tired of living with my problems of anxiety and horrible shyness too that it pushed me to seriously work through it.

Change must come from the inside. There is no outside action or words towards you that can make you change to overcome the anxieties. You are the one who must have the determination to take what you have heard, apply it, not give up and see it through til the end when you get the results you want. It's all about will power.
In your case, if this is not a school paper you're writing and your actual situation, then I'd say that likely your two minds are not on the same page yet. Your conscious mind is the one that wants to be able to talk to people and have normal conversation with them, but your subconscious mind is the one full of fears and emotions and yes, even disappointment at itself for not being able to do so. For you as an individual to work with your own subconscious mind and bring it to a point where its willing to work with your conscious mind is not easy. I do all the time. I treat mine like my inner child, another person inside me and give my subconscious another name, Selena. Ever meet people who talk to themselves. Unknowingly they are talking to their subconscious. I'd done it all my life until meeting my 2nd husband who had studied this and told me how this works. It's explained also in the Huna religion of the ancient Hawaaian priests. But this isn't the easiest thing to do, make suggestions to your own subconscious mind, and its better left to a hypnotist. Or you could see a professional counselor to try to get to the bottom of why you suffer this way.
There are no tips to give you how to talk to just this one particular girl when your issue is not about just her and covers your entire life. So to answer the last sentence, should you call your friend and ask him to be there to help you---the anwer is No. The answer is No because there is no such thing as borrowing bravery from someone else. Bravery isn't something you can put on like a sweater or jacket so it can't be gotten from another person and wrapped around you to protect you. Again I must state that this bravery must originate inside of you, and since it is currently not there, the changes also must originate inside of you.
I am sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear but this is reality.

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Hi a while back she dumped me as a friend and we are no longer friends anymore:( A while back i was kind of okay with not being friends. Now i am getting really sad and jealous of her being friends with my other friends on facebook and in real life. everytime i see her i feel sad and i miss her sooo much. Yeserday i saw her it was the first day of school i was scared to see her i hide behind a teacher so she would not see me. but i think she and her friends saw me. Her friend was talking very loud for some odd reason. Then today i was another friend of her she did not wave back to me when i waved to her. But i saw another friend of her she said hi to me when i waved to her. My question is why am i a bad person to her why does she hate me for i did nothing wrong! please help

When you understand what the dating process is and what it is for, then perhaps it will make it easier for you to go move on when this cycle repeats. It will still hurt but you won't be left trying to live in the past.

So plain and simple, the process of meeting someone, feeling attraction, start talking to, want to learn more about them so you beginning spending time with and dating, is a normal life process where the objective is to learn how to relate to a member of the opposite sex, discover what you like and don't like in a person, and you are looking for a solid friendship as well as a chemistry between you as far as romance goes. When young people start the dating process and someone leaves them, the breakup makes them think something was wrong with them or its something they did. Whether the other knew why they split or not, it doesnt matter. What people will do is leave a relationship when they dont feel enough in common or there isn't enough romantic attraction.

If you meet a girl where you do feel attracted in a way you want to hold her hand, put an arm around her and kiss her, be aware that there is such a thing as New relationship energy. Its the excitement of something new like a toy you got at Christmas as a little kid. And like the toy, the excitement over the person you are seeing can fade away after a couple weeks to a couple months. This happens only when there isn't enough real chemistry between two people and yet so many are afraid they will not find anyone else that they latch on to the first person who will date them and don't want to let go, even if they aren't perfect for each other. This happens so often that people with anything in common or chemistry marry every day and thats also one reason why there is so much divorce these days.

So, no one hates you. At a young age, people just don't know yet how to act or treat a person after they break up. If you can be comfortable with the situation and see it as part of the large learning process it really is, then in time hopefully the more mature of those peers of yours will feel comfortable around you on a social level, treating you nicely when you have to interact in classes or where ever you might run into them. They may not become friendly buddies with you for the sake of the person who broke up with you. There is nothing to feel jealous about. Jealousy is only an emotion we experience if we fear losing something. So do you fear that you will lose all your friends? If your friends can be grown up enough to spend separate time with you if they like you and separate time with her, and think they must have to choose or side with someone when there is no situation to be taking sides over, then those people are not people worth having as friends. Friends stick with you through thick and thin. So don't worry about something that might happen. Enjoy every day as it comes. When you are relaxed, you will begin to draw new friends and perhaps discover a new girl to learn more about.

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I was always a worrier ( if thats a word) I'm 14 btw. But, eversince, my bf and I broke up..it's been 1-2 months, I see that I've changed quite a bit. I'm sort of irritable, I find it very hard to fall asleep ( happened before too, but now it takes longer), I'm always tense about my homework or that I'm not putting in enough hardwork, I don't eat properly because of the fear that I'll become fat, I don't even feel like eating and I used to love food. Though I'm enjoying life in my own way, I get random headaches and I feel burned out many times. What is the reason behind this? It's not only after the break up but ever since I came into 9th grade. What can I do to help myself?

Kitten lover had great advice dear. Meditation is helpful. Although I know how hard it is to do so...our minds can tend to wander back to the stuff we're trying not to focus on. So to help clear your mind, try a breathing exercise along with it. What happens is that changing your breathing pattern, like taking deep breaths and holding for just a couple seconds or taking in lots of short breathes before letting it go, is your conscious mind taking over the regulation of breathing which your subconscious mind does automatically. When something interferes with one of the jobs of your subconscious mind, it will then begin to pay attention. Thats what you want for meditation to be more successful. So focus on just the breathing, and eventually you'll be able to go longer.
The not feeling like eating is what my daughter went through when she lost a boyfriend. She had no appetite and desire for food but she was also suffering other symptoms of depression. So while you may naturally be a worrier, or what I call a "touchy-feely' person, one whose emotions are effected extremely easily both the good and bad, this time it could also be a case of depression.
Luckily medition is one of the remedies for depression as well. There are others proven to work. I told my daughter about them but she went to see a psychologist, her one free appt. thru work. He told her all the same stuff I will share with you. Laughter is a good medicine. Put on your favorite comedies. Movement helps such as running or jogging, even skipping works. Other movement that is more fun is dance. Just move to music. If you have any song which when you listen to them, the melody is one that makes your heart feel so light like a balloon as if its going to float out of your chest, then those are the songs to listen to now on repeat. Its not the words that are important but the melody that is personally healing to you. One such song for me is Clocks by Coldplay. I will listen to it 4 or 5 times in a row and by time I'm done, I am already feeling better but then I never let myself get so bad off that it takes days of self therapy to get feeling better. And lastly, hugging is a wonderful therapy. It is one of the best thing to raise the levels of neuro-transmitters in your brain which are low to non existant when you are stressed or depressed. Headaches and burn outs too can be indicators.

I don't really know you that well, but with the fact that you worry alot, you may actually have an ability that not all people have, being extra sensitive to picking up on things around you, especially other peoples energies, you feel the peaceful good energies but are even more able to pick up on peoples darker energies which added to your own concerns becomes an overload. People like this need to take time to ground themselves and cleanse themselves daily. So in addition to meditation as a daily practice to ground yourself, you may want to learn how to visualize your body, mind, energy field, being cleansed of other peoples dark emotions. There are many ways to do this. Picture whatever works in your mind for you. In could be seeing yourself standing inside a beam of white pure light that pours down into the top of your head, forcing all the heavier darker energies to flow out the bottom of your feet. Or give the job to your angels. Picture them with sprayers like at a car wash only theirs showers your heart mind and energy field with magic beams that totally fry/zap and destroy the worries, and anxieties in you. Hope this helps. It sounds silly I know but it works. Our minds are powerful weapons in the use of our own healing but it doesnt work if we dont visualize. Once we visualize it, it actually becomes reality over time. For some people its instant relief but I believe in angels and when you involve them in your imagination to get better, they will be there doing exactly as you imagine them to in your mind.
Good luck dear and if you need any more clarification, just write to my column and ask a question from there. If you ask where you can put a response to this post of mine, I can't answer it.

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I have to write a drama script and I need this to be really good the best as I can do so can you give me some ideas. It is about jack the ripper and this is the third scene this is the scene

Maryjane goes to the shop & feels like she is getting followed so she phones kate & tells her. On her way home jack goes to kates house. split scene and kate dies on phones jack then threatens her "one generations tragedy is the next ones joke."


I really need help on a script help please

The only thing I can think of to tell you is what I do in writing my novel, I describe the person, the scene, what the thoughts of the person are. You have to put yourself into the shoes of each character and try to imagine how they looked, how the felt, and what they might have said. If you are supposed to do a Jack the Ripper drama, now much leeway do you have in the story. Can it be a comedy for example instead of serious and scary. Can facts about the females from the original story be totally different such as one of the females Jack goes after ends up being a vampire. That would change the outcome of the story and thus the drama surprisingly.
For example, someone answering a phone could go like this, Kate swung her hair over her shoulder as she sat down on the rickety old wooden chair that creaked as she reached for the phone. The voice the came over the phone sounded like Maryjane but was so shaky Kate almost didn't recognize her. This sent a lightening bolt of alarm and fear through Kate......

The things I just wrote work for a novel because the mind is doing the imagining. On stage, it is a bit different. When you said Jack threatens her...my first thought was but Kate dies so is he threatening her as she dies? My mind got so hung up on trying to figure that out it took me some time to realize you meant Jack took the phone from the lifeless fingers of Kate and then starts speaking over the phone to Maryjane to threaten her. So you have to be careful and read and re-read what you wrote. Good luck dear. Its not easy when you first start doing it, but if you enjoy writing, you'll get better with practice so writing a script, even if it turns out so-so is good practice. Even time you go to write, it will become better. You have to start somewhere.

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how can I stop the pain

I think what you may be feeling is discomfort due to dry eye syndrome. I am not a doctor and can't tell you why it happens or develops. About 2 years ago, I started to develop dry eye syndrome. It would show up in one eye and maybe last 3 weeks to a month and then be gone for a month or two before showing up again.
Because I am unemployed, I can't afford to go see the doctor to get a prescription to take care of it. Although, I wouldn't say the prescription works that well to begin with for me but it might for you.
If you also can't afford to see a doctor, then try what re-wetting solutions are available at the grocers or pharmacies opthalmic dept of products for those who wear contacts and products for those who need hayfever relief.
I have suffered some hayfever allergies in the past that can irritate the eye. Sometimes some pollen can get it and maybe slightly scratch the eye. It's the soreness of the scratch on the eye ball mixed with the friction of the lid going back and forth that makes it feel like I have have a dozen loose eyelashes stuck under my eye lid somewhere hurting my eye. I would have to say its more irritating than actually a pain but its a nasty thing to have to put up with. I trieds drinking extra fluids to hydrate my body better but it didnt help. It might help you though and the re-wetting drops may help.
I think the problem is much the same as another area on the body with tender mucus membranes. Those who are too dry and don't have enough lubrication can cause fine tears that they cant necessarily see but feel both for the female vaginally and the man on his penis. Those tears always heal up with no problem. Fortunately that area can be avoided until it heals up...the eye, not the same with the constant blinking so I think logically it makes sense that it last longer and irritates more. Somehow our eyes dry out enough so that the mere friction of our eye lids moving across start to drag and pull at the outermost layer of our eyeball and cause a tiny tear that you won't be able to see without a microscope. But you sure as heck can feel it.

There are other more serious things that can be happening to your eye so until you have ruled it out and have a long history of just the dry eye syndrome, I'd find Please go see an eye doctor if it's not just discomfort when blinking.If you can still feel a paina way to get to maybe a low cost eye doctor to get your eyes checked out. Ask around in your area by calling opthamologists and telling them (if you have no insurance and tight budget) and would like to know if they can recommend an eye doctor who caters to those who are low income. I did that to find a dentist and after 5 calls got a recommendation to a great guy who though he needed an amount of money to start off, allowed me to make payments that I could afford to pay the rest off over time. I hope all goes well for you.

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My situation is quite common I think, however, I have no idea what can I do about this, so need your professional expertise, please.


I broke up with my 2 years pakistani ex boyfriend in April 2013, During our relationship he would ask me to pay for something small from my card, first he has said he lost his, then it was in overdraft, then he could not use it as he has bad credit history, he would ask now and then for 100-300 in cash, he could sometimes check my bag for money first to make sure i have it, Then in August 2012 he has persuaded me to sell my car in order to cover his office rent, through the garage he knew (I have contract of that sale), part of the money in cash they would give him straight into his hands, the other part as bank transfer on my bank account, from which I've made a transfer to pay to his landlord to cover the office rent, at that moment I was helping and working in his office, they have family-run cab office. Also I have got hand written and signed by him contract, that states that he will give me all the money by the end of the 2012 year, by small amounts every week and the rest in lump sum at the end of the Olympic Games season, as he was waiting for big payment, plus he promised to give it back with percentages, however by today he still owns me the full amount, and would give me back only what he offered on a top and only after long chasing, and through one of his sister (I have insisted on bank transfer from her), also i have text messages from him where he mentions the amount and other evidence, at the same time tried to cause me other harm of non physical nature. I have agreed for him to transfer small amounts of money and was in touch with his mom who would tell me that he will give it all to me, but very slowly,( from 2nd Aug 2012 it was over a year!) now they just ignoring my calls or texts, I do not mean to cause any harm for him or his business as he is supporting his big family, and in April opened another business. I know that I was very naive to trust him but at that time I just genuinely wanted to help my boyfriend..Overall it's been eyeopening experience, therefore I feel that if I can do something about it I would like to know what exactly!
Thank you in advance and highly appreciate any given advice.

Sincerely,
A

So if I understand correctly, you're saying that April of this year, 2013 that they somehow had enough to open another business, but not pay you back? It takes money to start a business of any sort. And I see thats also when you said you broke up with him. I don't know if you can afford small claims court, you'd have to check into that.
Regardless of whether he's Pakistani, German, Chinese, Ugandan, or any other ethnic group, that has nothing to do with your situation. There are people all across the globe whose morals, and their word, only go as far as the bounds of blood family. They will say and do anything it takes to help the family survive and not blink an eye at using and abusing the kindness and caring heart of someone like you. You may have to chalk this up to give learning one of lifes hard lessons.
Take someone at their word. But at the moment they break their word, no matter who they are...they have not only lied to you but lied to themselves.
Think of it...he may have had to lie to himself that he was going to be successful and make enough to not only have enough profit to 1. support family, 2. put some back into expanding and building the business,and 3. paying back any person or bank loan payments he has.
People can lie enough to themselves until they believe it and then will feel heartbroken when you don't believe or trust or give them another chance. Or it could be that the stories he told you had no truth in them and he avoided getting a bank loan because he knew he couldn't get away without paying it back. Perhaps he had great credit to start with but had no intention of ever paying you back, find a sucker and bleed em dry is what some dishonest people do. You have to learn how to spot something that sounds fishy and when after a second chance someone pulls the same stunt on you...there should be no more chances...no matter if its family, or a relationship. Lets say a guy hits you. Then he promises he'll never do it again. But he does. After the second time, its no longer a matter of you needing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, you are the fool if you allow yourself to be treated the same way again.
A good thing to learn about ALL people is that during our lifetime the changes we make will only be very little ones because all humans hate change. It makes us uncomfortable or even fearful so we avoid changing our character. So whoever you meet in life, what you see in the beginning is what you get for life with them.
Once he proved that he doesnt make good on his word to even make tiny payments, even sporadically, you had to know he couldn't be trusted any longer. Unfortunately, you were in a relationship with him and let that get in the way of your better judgement. For the future, do not give someone so many chances. Use what you learned from this experience so you aren't taken to the cleaners again.

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Hi,
I'm 18 f - I got into college this year. I decided to start college early and registered for classes during the summer quarter. Now I'm here and I've been taking classes for 3 weeks. I have a problem that's been giving me a lot of trouble lately- I feel like such a loner because I'm always eating by myself in the dining hall.

I love my classes and the campus is amazing. My problem is that there aren't many people here over the summer. So there are no student clubs and all of the student centers around campus are closed until the Fall Quarter. So I only meet people in class, the dorm and at a church.

My classmates are nice- sometimes I hang out with a few of them- but all of them are sophomores or older so they live off campus and can't eat in the dining hall. All of my church friends live off of campus too.

The people at my dorm are nice but they're all exchange students or upperclassman. The upperclassman already have their friendship groups and the exchange students all sit together and speak their own language. The freshmen exchange students seemed friendly for a couple of weeks. But now I've realised they are only interested in befriending people from their native country because they're always blocking me out. So I'm finding it really hard to make friends cause I'd just be forcing myself into situations where people don't want an extra random stranger to bother them.

I'm quiet and making new friends has always been slow for me. I've tried reaching out a lot more than usual and it's been working pretty well in class/ at church. But I'm finding it so stressful to sit at a big table by myself in the dining hall. Should I just eat by myself for the rest of the summer and try not to be bothered by it? I have 3 weeks left until Fall. I really don't know what I should think about my situation.

Thanks for reading. I'd really appreciate any advice

I know what it feels like to sit alone and eat with nothing to do but stare into space. Even when I had a job and due to scheduling needs or something that came up in the department, I couldn't go sit with coworkers...it is uncomfortable and boring to sit by yourself. So until things change with the start of fall classes, I would suggest doing things that occupy your mind so it's busily focused on something. The easiest is to have a fun interesting novel to real while eating. On a fancier scale, having a jigsaw puzzle with its own roll up mat to save what you've worked on, that will take a lot of your attention. Something like that can be very irresistable to others of any age who also like the challenge of jig saw puzzles. Or if you like puzzle books with word searches and other such games, those will occupy your time. Having internet access to your cell if you can afford it is a nice way to occupy yourself while checking up on it to see if anyone from Advicenators has answered you yet...LOL couldn't resist. But hope that helps you dear.

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I love my boyfriend dearly but after a few years of dating it's become apparent that he is not what i need in a partner. The relationship has gotten too "comfortable" and he does not make me feel special. I have cried to him about how i need him to be more outwardly loving towards me but it has not had any effect. Ive realized he's just not that kind of guy. I think i need to end it now (we will be apart for a few months), but how do i break up with someone i love? Yes, my life has revolved around him for years, but i am not happy and nothing seems to be changing. The question is not "do i end it", but how do i mourn the loss of my best friend? There are many things i will miss but i cant stay with someone who makes me unhappy. Please help me find some peace of mind

There are many women married to very nice guys who are their best friends but theres little to nothing in the romance department. Or call it lack of chemistry sexually. And what I am talking about covers a broader perspective than just having sex. I was in your situation. I however didn't wise up early on as you have, but I know what you're talking about. There is no reason to not see the person as just platonic friends in the future unless he meets another woman who is the jealous type, not secure in herself. Also, you may meet a guy that finds it hard for himself to feel comfortable knowing you are still close friends with your ex.
As to the feelings of your heart...well feelings and emotions are governed by our subconscious mind. It is your conscious mind that is making this decision which is for the best for you. It may take your subconscious mind some time to cope with the fact that you are not in the same kind of relationship. It may not be easy for your subconscious mind to let go of some of those strong feelings until you meet someone else who is able to uphold and romance and cherish you the way you need.
But you can try talking to your subc. self as if it were another person inside you. Give it a separate name. I did, the sub is also to me like my inner child and has the child like but also childish streak sometimes. So you may need to reason with her, your subc. and let her know that as great as he was, you are looking for something better and tell her how important it is for a long term relationship or marriage to have a stable base of both friendship and sexual chemistry. While she may disagree and feel that sex was great, you 'll have to explain that her opinion is only based on what she has so far experienced in the department and has very little life experience of others to compare to. You want someone who can't resist playing with your hair, giving you a kiss, hug or playful pat on the bottom as he passes you in the home, who does special little things that aren't needed, just to show his love, gives you compliments all the time, is willing and able to take time to just focus and listen and really hear what you have to say...that sort of stuff is important and thats what you have to tell your subc. self. Tell her that it's no fair to you if it makes you unhappy cus then she will be unhappy too. Tell her that in order to have happiness, she has to be willing to let go of him. Basically, this is much like giving yourself a pep talk. Your subc. mind is what hypnotists access to make suggestions to. I have been able to have good connection to my own subconscious self so as crazy as it may seem, if you work at it, this may help you with finding the peace of mind you seek in making this change.

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im wondering if I could get pregnant because im a virgin but when he tried to put it in I pulled on the condom could it be a possibility that the condom broke and at that time he had a strong erection

Yes it is possible. There is lots of information available on the internet to learn more on the topics of sex, all it involves, our sexualilty, and relationships. etc. Schools rarely teach sex ed or any of real quality. So hon, you are going to have to self educate because, it is dangerous to mess around with having sex when there is so much you don't know yet. It may also be a good thing for you to plan a trip to Planned Parenthood for some more trustworthy birth control.
I wouldnt rely on condoms for several reasons...one being rubber or latex can give the female rashes or itching if her skin is sensitive and reacts to that, rubber and latex can get old and have an expiration date so they become more likely to rip or tear, or there can be some pinholes in it that you just cant see, or the condom remains inside you when he slips back out. this happened when he lingers a moment or so and shrinks back down fast. Its happened to me several times. Or the condom just isn't a good fit on the guy and his fluids can leak out sideways. Luckily I was on birth control and was using condoms for std prevention. But I have experienced all of the examples I just gave you.
Best of wishes to you.

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A few weeks ago a teacher left my school and, as I was very close to him, I got him a thank you card (he's helped my an awful lot over the past year - almost acting as a psychologist for me). When I gave him the card he said that he'd open it when I wasn't there if I wanted (I told him he could open it then). I didn't think much of it but then my friend came in and gave him a card and he just opened it straight away without saying anything.

I didn't think much of it at the time but then I was talking to my friend a few days ago and she said that sounded a bit weird. Now I'm really worried about what he'd thought I'd written in the card or something... And thinking back he's said other things to me like 'you hide a lot' and 'is there anything you want to tell me'.

I'm just very confused and don't want him to think bad of me. It's been really bugging me the last day or two and I feel stupid for not noticing beforehand when he was still at school and I could talk to him about it.

He sounds like he was thinking of your sensitive feelings in wanting to read it later but since you said it was ok, he did. He didnt have to ask the other kid cus he already knew that their personality was such as where they wouldnt be embarrassed or feel weird watching him read their card.
If you believe you do have problems with shyness, low self esteem, etc... and want to work on it, there are self help books at bookstores. Just ask a clerk, find the ones you want and if you dont have the money for them, put them on the wish list with parents for Christmas. Or talk to school counselors and get recommendations from them as to what to do.
Not trying to make a bigger thing of it than there is.
But I know that during the teen years, something very little and insignificant to us as adults was very big for us back then and became a problem if it affected our abilities to focus and study. So if you find your feelings about your incident just won't go away, ask for help locally.

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So my natural hair color is dark blonde,but i dyed it black in may and now i really regret it,is there anyway to get it blonde again??? please help me

At this point it might be best to go to a hairdresser and have her check the health of your hair to see if it might be able to handle going through the stress right now of changing it back. Obviously you can't use blonde coloring on black and make it turn blonde. At this point, it would take whatever process hairdressers use to take natural or articial coloring out of the hair. Its what they would do for people wanting to dye their hair baby blue or pink or some other such color.
The reason you should get advice from an expert and not try on your own is that you may be told to wait.
I did too much messing around with my hair and pretty much fried it so bad at one point that I could not brush my hair because it was so dead and brittle that chunks were breaking off with each brush stroke. Freaked me out. I know of one worse, my coworkers best friend did too much switching colors too soon and all her hair fell out, down to the scalp. She had to send a family member out to buy her a wig since she wouldnt leave house even for that.
Your hair may be fine but I just shared the worst possibilities so you would go get advice from a hair professional who can look at your hair rather than try do it yourself to save money like I did.

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I'm 15, and I've been friends with this guy for my whole life because our families our friends, but he lives an hour away. When I see him, he acts really flirty and gives me neck massages and plays with my hair and stuff, and we text a lot. He calls me babe and tells me I'm the prettiest girl he knows, but our conversations are always short because he reads my responses and never replies. He says his phone is broken but I know that he's texting other girls when he stops answering me. Am I over thinking this or is he just a flirt?

Some people enjoy flirting but don't mean anything by it. They will flirt with lots of different people that they know as acquaintences or friends but they feel comfortable with them. For some its somebody safe to practice flirting with.
Some young guys don't realize that they may be sending the wrong message or at least confusing ones to the girls they flirt with. Does it mean he likes them enough to want to get to know them even better and start dating them because they have a romantic interest developing? A few guys may flirt if they feel romantically but it shouldnt be counted on as a sign of him being interested in you..especially since you are so far just involved as a friend of the family. At his age, he is going to be interested in practicing flirting and looking for girls who are easier to date. All he is at this point is a male friend who you keep in contact with sometimes by text. Enjoy his visits when he is there but I would say to stop overthinking it and look for signs of interest from guys you come across in your daily life. The ones who stare at you lots or find opportunity to get near you, is something we all do by instinct. If he gets close enough to be an arm length away from you and you don't find yourself backing away, then likely you have an interest in him as well. If you approach a guy first and get an arms length away from him and he doesnt take a step back then he is comfortable having you near. Other signs that people really like each other is they start mirroring each other. If you cross your legs, he will move his legs too, maybe to place a foot on the other knee, or you place a hand somewhere on your head or face, he'll do a similar gesture. Its a subconscious body language where we copy the one we're interested in and most the time are unaware we're doing it. If a guy is interested and you stay in his space or get closer, you'll find each other starts to lean the torso towards the other and face each other in conversation...this shows interest. Eventually he'll move so that he seems to accidently brush against you or touch your hand with his...all signs of interest. If a guy does this and you like him, then do the same back to him. I thought you might find it helpful to have some hints as to what signs of true interest is. Good luck dear.

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