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Ex-Boyfriend owes money for over a year now
My situation is quite common I think, however, I have no idea what can I do about this, so need your professional expertise, please.
I broke up with my 2 years pakistani ex boyfriend in April 2013, During our relationship he would ask me to pay for something small from my card, first he has said he lost his, then it was in overdraft, then he could not use it as he has bad credit history, he would ask now and then for 100-300 in cash, he could sometimes check my bag for money first to make sure i have it, Then in August 2012 he has persuaded me to sell my car in order to cover his office rent, through the garage he knew (I have contract of that sale), part of the money in cash they would give him straight into his hands, the other part as bank transfer on my bank account, from which I've made a transfer to pay to his landlord to cover the office rent, at that moment I was helping and working in his office, they have family-run cab office. Also I have got hand written and signed by him contract, that states that he will give me all the money by the end of the 2012 year, by small amounts every week and the rest in lump sum at the end of the Olympic Games season, as he was waiting for big payment, plus he promised to give it back with percentages, however by today he still owns me the full amount, and would give me back only what he offered on a top and only after long chasing, and through one of his sister (I have insisted on bank transfer from her), also i have text messages from him where he mentions the amount and other evidence, at the same time tried to cause me other harm of non physical nature. I have agreed for him to transfer small amounts of money and was in touch with his mom who would tell me that he will give it all to me, but very slowly,( from 2nd Aug 2012 it was over a year!) now they just ignoring my calls or texts, I do not mean to cause any harm for him or his business as he is supporting his big family, and in April opened another business. I know that I was very naive to trust him but at that time I just genuinely wanted to help my boyfriend..Overall it's been eyeopening experience, therefore I feel that if I can do something about it I would like to know what exactly!
Thank you in advance and highly appreciate any given advice.
Sincerely,
A
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So if I understand correctly, you're saying that April of this year, 2013 that they somehow had enough to open another business, but not pay you back? It takes money to start a business of any sort. And I see thats also when you said you broke up with him. I don't know if you can afford small claims court, you'd have to check into that.
Regardless of whether he's Pakistani, German, Chinese, Ugandan, or any other ethnic group, that has nothing to do with your situation. There are people all across the globe whose morals, and their word, only go as far as the bounds of blood family. They will say and do anything it takes to help the family survive and not blink an eye at using and abusing the kindness and caring heart of someone like you. You may have to chalk this up to give learning one of lifes hard lessons.
Take someone at their word. But at the moment they break their word, no matter who they are...they have not only lied to you but lied to themselves.
Think of it...he may have had to lie to himself that he was going to be successful and make enough to not only have enough profit to 1. support family, 2. put some back into expanding and building the business,and 3. paying back any person or bank loan payments he has.
People can lie enough to themselves until they believe it and then will feel heartbroken when you don't believe or trust or give them another chance. Or it could be that the stories he told you had no truth in them and he avoided getting a bank loan because he knew he couldn't get away without paying it back. Perhaps he had great credit to start with but had no intention of ever paying you back, find a sucker and bleed em dry is what some dishonest people do. You have to learn how to spot something that sounds fishy and when after a second chance someone pulls the same stunt on you...there should be no more chances...no matter if its family, or a relationship. Lets say a guy hits you. Then he promises he'll never do it again. But he does. After the second time, its no longer a matter of you needing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, you are the fool if you allow yourself to be treated the same way again.
A good thing to learn about ALL people is that during our lifetime the changes we make will only be very little ones because all humans hate change. It makes us uncomfortable or even fearful so we avoid changing our character. So whoever you meet in life, what you see in the beginning is what you get for life with them.
Once he proved that he doesnt make good on his word to even make tiny payments, even sporadically, you had to know he couldn't be trusted any longer. Unfortunately, you were in a relationship with him and let that get in the way of your better judgement. For the future, do not give someone so many chances. Use what you learned from this experience so you aren't taken to the cleaners again.
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You were given a run for your money, Likely it's long gone.
Added to what Razhie saud, Depending on how much is owed, Small claims court could cost you more. If you feel it's worth fighting, Go for it. Keep all evidence
Good luck
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You need to either take him to small claims court. (Him, personally, not the business) or you need to accept that this money is gone.
I have an ex-boyfriend who owed me $400 after we broke up. Honestly, I considered that a fair price to pay to never have to speak to him again. Although I have never bothered to tell him as much, I have forgiven the debt. That money is gone. You could also decide to simply let this go.
If you want to take him to court, you would probably be fine to do this through small claims court. Although you aren't explicit about the amount of money owing, most small claims courts will let you sue for up to $10,000 or even $25,000, and it sounds like that will cover you.
You should be able to google your home town and 'small claims' and get some direction of how to start the process, or you can simply call a local library - they often have the answers you need to those sorts of questions as well.
You certainly have the evidence you need to win in small claims court. Once you have won, if he still doesn't pay up, you then get some special powers from the court that can help you: like garnishing his wages or seizing some of his property.
Don't forget that going to small claims court will cost you some money - you don't really need a lawyer, but there are fees and time off work to consider. And it wont be all said in done in 15 minutes like on TV. It will take months to get it settled, and then possibly months more to actually collect.
So it's up to you. Depending on the amount owed, it might be worth your time and effort.
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