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Are we making the right move by moving in together?
On the 1st (yes in two days) I'm moving into a place with my boyfriend. I was really excited until the past couple days. I feel like maybe this isn't the right move. My problem is he's always working and when he's not working I'm usually working. It's really starting to get to me and I'm worried about money.
He has two jobs working about 50-70 hours a week and I work one job at two places and work 36-40 hours a week but I make more than him an hour.
Together we make around $3,400 a month, 43,000 a year.
Finance wise (monthly), Rent is $758, renters insurance $20 Electric around $300, High Speed Internet will be around $70, Groceries around $200, we don't want cable TV since we have Netflix through a family account,
My car payments are $316, his car insurance is $130 mine is $160. Both of our cellphone bills together are $90. Gas is about $150 for both cars (I have a hybrid). I know there are other bills that I can't think of right now but with what I've already taken out above that still leaves $1,006 a month free.
This first month is $1,003 and already I'm paying more than my fair share. I'm paying $600 worth of rent, $50 down on electric, $20 on renters insurance and $160 for application fees. What has he paid so far? Nothing. He says he's going to pay $400 of the rent but that's not half of the $1,003 like we agreed when we started. Now I'm worried for myself because on the 12th I have to pay $160 car insurance and on the 25th I pay $316 car payment and I'm sure there's going to be more electric due sometime this month and other things we need to buy. I plan on selling some stuff tomorrow at an antique mall to get maybe $150 extra and I already sold a phone that I loved for $200. He hasn't sold anything at all and I feel like I'm doing all of the work. Yet he's the one who's working 60 hours a week while I only work around 36 a week. That doesn't add up to me and it's really frustrating that he's always working especially when he's saying he works so much so we have more money...
When I told him how I felt about him not paying his fair amount he said "We won't have to worry about money baby we'll be fine" and then I told him that I absolutely refuse to pay anything more than my fair half in the future and that it was his apartment too and he said "but it's not like that and you know it..." as in that I should know he's going to start pulling his weight soon but how do I know that when I pay for everything?
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Though you say he's a boyfriend, in reality, with the amount of time going into both of you working and schedules not allowing for time for you to be together and nurture your relationships, all you will be is like two ships passing in the night.
So partner or not...the only Real reason to go into an apartment together with him is for a Financial reason. Since your inner voice is screaming at you that this is not a good situation and your gut feeling is that he will be an unpredictable, unreliable roomie, as far as carrying his fair share of the finances, its' time to back out now. But you must act quickly...you've already paid some fees in which you hopefully will get back but may not. No, this is not a rash decision based on feelings. Too many people today get themselves into a bad situation because they have not been taught to listen to their intuition, their inner voice or gut feelings. The "What if" questions ringing through your head could possibly be coming from your guardian angels who have your best interests at heart. The times in life that I listened to those concerns in my gut that wouldn't just quit bugging me where times in looking back, that I can now see I made the right decision. Good luck to you dear.
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Since you're asking I would say since you are having second thoughts it is time to put the brakes on this move. I remember the first letter you wrote to us. While you did a wonderful job at budgeting you left out quite a few items.
Two part time jobs for both of you tells me neither job is supplying health insurance. Beginning January 1, 2014 the Obama healthcare plan kicks in. You will need to purchase health insurance for each of you or pay a $2,000 penalty that's is the law of the land and enforced through the state and IRS. You have not budgeted for this.
Your estimate for groceries is woefully low. You cannot eat for $200 a month. This sum could not possibly include the other items you would need around the house such as cleaning supplies, toilet paper, beauty and shaving products etcetera.
A combined income of $43,000 a year should be a somewhat comfortable income for two people. Problem is you both have other expenses that are quite high. Your rent payment is quite good, better than where I live. Your estimate for electric seems very high for a one bedroom apartment. That's a third higher than mine and I have a three bedroom home.
Now the kicker as I see it. Your boyfriend is not kicking in his fair share from the start. This is a I believe is a sign of things to come. Sure you can tell your creditors that your boyfriend is not holding up his end of the bargain. They, in the person(s) you speak with may even feel sorry for you, but, you are on the hook for whatever contracts you have signed and must meet your obligations. Failure to do so means they can repossess, evict and turn off their service or product if you fail to meet your obligations. This means you can lose apartment and or your car or have the utilities turned off depending on what bills you fall behind on.
If any of this were to happen it would become a major blemish on your credit rating. One that could take as long as seven years or longer to live down and restore your credit rating.
My advice is to back out now while you still can. Not merely because I think your budgeting is wrong. Budgets are just guidelines and when you see actual expenses you adjust. I make my suggestion based on the fact that your boyfriend is not holding to your agreement and you have yet to move in together. If he can't or won't meet his obligations to you now what is going to happen next month or the month after. You could get caught holding the bag.
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