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My best friend is a wannabe?
I'm sorry this is a bit of a long read :3
My best friend, let's call her Z, is really pissing me off. I am known as the "nerdy, cute, gamer" girl (that's just who I am). There is a guy who has a crush on me (I kind of like him but I'm not sure), and she tries to get close to him just because she knows he likes me (she doesn't have a crush on him, I'm sure)! Every time in front of him, she acts like she is also a "nerdy, cute, gamer" type of girl when she's not at all! She always starts conversations online like, "oh sorry, i was gaming" (PLAYING GTA ONE TIME DOESN'T MAKE YOU A GAMER!!). In front of me, when I say something with words she doesn't understand or a character that's "too nerdy" for her to know, she just says she doesn't know what I'm talking about. But in front of others, she pretends she understands everything. She seems to do this in front of every group of people, in front of the populars, she acts popular, in front of the emos, she acts emo. She's always trying to establish herself as a certain "type", and it's different in front of different people! I love her to death, but she's really getting on my nerves?
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Hon, I don't think she does this for the purpose of irritating and getting on your nerves.
An act is just that, acting like an actor or actress. Eventually the movie they're in is over and they go on with their lives.
Your friends problem is that she doesn't feel secure if she doesn't have a group she feels she fits into. I have seen this from other young people writing in who want to belong to a group. Somehow the label and the actions and trappings that go with it give them some sense of self worth.
Haha, i was like that as a teen. I remember wanting to belong somewhere. What I eventually discovered was a place I felt I belonged in a church youth group. o yes, this does happen to a lot of teens. Don't worry, eventually the people of any group, emos, gamers, populars, are going to see through her and realize she is not genuine and won't take her seriously. If your guy is smart, he will eventually see right through her and realize she is all talk, and if he likes gamer types, and someone who is self assured and Real, he may decide to become friends with you, or closer friends, and date.
In high school, I did not fit into a group that you could give a label to. And yet there were others just like me, average in everything so we didn't stand out and we were friends with each other. But because there was lack of "Focus" or Focal point between us, like for you gaming, for emo's, "dealing with pain", you can feel lost in the crowd. Thats' where your friend is at.
Just support her the best you can. If you know her well, think of what things are her strong points? And suggest that she focus on those. Maybe she hasn't discovered them yet. But when she does, she'll automatically be part of a group of people with the same focus. If she's so into acting the parts, perhaps drama is her thing. She might want to look into that.
With myself and church youth groups, I felt I belonged because I discovered a great affinity and interest in anything spiritual, it's where I grew leaps and bounds and in some ways surpassed the constructs and doctrines of the church because of how i was drawn to anything spiritual and of God.
So have patience with your friend, point out what you have noticed but in a nice way because she's not really doing something bad but doing a natural thing we all do, she just hasn't found her niche yet. Once she realizes that this is what she is doing, its a good chance she may stop trying to switch her act in different groups and start looking for where she does fit. She'll fit somewhere. It may not have a populer name, like those into Drama, they're not called the Stagers for those who love being on stage. Hope this helps give you perspective with your friend. Good luck dear.
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It seems like she just wants attention. I think the best thing to do is to talk to her. You don't have to accuse her of anything or make her feel like you're attacking her. Just be like, "I've noticed that you act different around different people and I just wanted to let you know that just in case you didn't realize it." Kinda show her like you're being a good friend and that you're helping her.
That's a really annoying situation to be in and I think talking to her is the best option.
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Sounds to me she is a little on the fake side and is trying to be something she's not to seek approval and acceptance. Have you spoken to her about this? Tell her you noticed she ia changing, Assure her you like her as a friend for who she is. It would irritate me as well if my friend was being fake... frankly, If someone was flirting in front of a giy I liked just because she knew I liked him, I'd think she's jealous.
Sounds to me like she wants attention. She seems to be jealous of you because a guy is interested in you. You need to talk to her, If she doesn't want to fix her flaws then it may be time to back off.
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