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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm 11 and my babysitter is touching me wrong.He's 16 and he babysits me everyday after school. When I finish homework and watch tv he makes me sit on his lap and he puts his hands up my shirt.I say stop,but he says its okay and to just come down.Sometimes he even puts his hands down my pants.I know what he is doing is wrong and I want to tell my parents,but I'm to scared what do I do?

Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather so please listen to me in what I am about to say to you.

First, You have nothing to be scared of in telling you parents about what your babysitter is doing to you. You have done nothing wrong. When a person, adult or child, has not done anything wrong there is nothing to be scared of. You are not going to get in trouble. The babysitter is very, very wrong in what he is doing. He is the one that should be scared because he will get in trouble.

Has he told you not to tell anyone? Has he threatened to hurt you if you told anyone? Don't be scared of this as he is counting on you to be too scared of his threat to tell anyone. He will be in too much trouble to hurt you or anyone else after you tell your parents.

You should tell your parents what is happening. If you are worried your parents will not call the police as they should. Then tell your teacher at school. Your teacher and school principal are required by law to call the police.

But tell someone you must as you are in danger. For now he is only touching you. If he gets away with this he may try to go further and hurt you in so doing. So please do not be afraid to tell your parents or your teacher.

My parents raised me to be an utter failure. Besides mentally absuing me, they destroyed my self esteem and my life and never gave me any chores, responsiblities or motivation to succeed. they never gave me any chance to excel, any opportunity to feel tha i had some self worth. they left me angry, helples and hopeless. Now I'm 33, and I have failed at everything I have ever tried, every job I have ever held. I was fired from practically every job I have help for incompetence or simply coming in late. I don't want to do anything and feel no motivation; I would rather end up a ward of the state or in a mental hospital...at least i could get fed and taken care of and not have to struggle just to earn some bread to eat. I hate life and never asked for it. I never wanted any of this, my parents brought me here against my will, fucked me up against my will, now after 30 years of hardwired helplessness I am supposed to thrive? I have no motivation to do anything...to work, to live. I just want to die, and if not, be taken care of, just sit in the grass and stare at the sky until I die, and just have peace the rest of my days. If you call me a spoiled brat, go fuck yourself. Taht's what I am, that's what I am wired to be...a loser. I tried job and failed them. I went to the army and had a nervous breakdown. I went to school for a medical degree and turn out to be a failure...i am too scared to make any decisions for my patients and instead I run and find a competent adult to make the hard choices because, well, I am a baby. I'm still living in my folks house, as I have no income at 33. No one wants to hire a new grad like me. And honestly, I don't want to work, fuck it, my parents thought it was so important to give birth to me and spend my whole childhood fucking me up, let them pay for my food. It's called consequences. I just want the end to come and I want to have nothing left to fail at.

There are many ways to become a ward of the state and it appears you have failed at that too. Why, because first of all deep down you don't want to be a ward of the state.

Secondly you are just plain lazy. If you had the where with all to get through medical school how in the hell can you say you are a failure. No one likes making hard choices but we make them, its part of life. You don't want to die, you want to be coddled for the rest of your life. Well I have a news flash for you life just doesn't work that way. You get out of life what you put into it, even in today's economic times. If your parents didn't teach you that as a child it is never to late to learn. You say you were fired from every job you ever had for incompetence or being late. You can put this too under the heading of "PURE LAZYNESS"

There is nothing in what you have written that is you parents fault other than being indulgent. But there is a cure for this. It is called stop feeling sorry for yourself. Pull yourself up by your boot straps and make something of yourself.

You must be a smart person to have gotten in to medical school so start there. Then start by putting yourself on a schedule which starts with getting up in the morning by 7AM. If you don't have a job, your job each day is to look for one. Remember it is the early bird that catches the worm. Do not come home again till 5pm until you find a job. Then adjust your schedule as required to get to your job 20 minutes before start time and to return home after quiting time. Bed time is at a time that will give you 8 hours of restful sleep before having to wake as to prepare to leave home so to arrive at work 20 minutes before start time.

Your motivation for working is simple: No one not the state,not your parents or any relative is going to care for you. You are totally dependent on yourself for your food, clothing and medical needs. If this takes having the mind set that your an orphan then that is what you need to do.

Please remember these things: There are no free rides today or any other day. You are not entitled to anything you cannot provide for yourself and God helps those who help themselves.

I am 23 and my boyfriend is 24, we have been together a year and 4 months, we really love each other and have a great relationship. Were both really close and comfortable with each other and tell each other everything. He is like my best friend and my lover. But here within the last few months our sex life has been diminishing. We used to do it probably 3 times a day or once a day at least, Now we hardly ever have sex. We have sex like once a week. He has a hard job and works 40+ hours so he always says he is too tired, or is feeling sick all the time and has lack of energy. I am always the one that instigates it and tries everything I can to spice it up and get him motivated and "in the mood" But he always stops me when I try, and even when I go down on him which usually guys wont turn down, he will even stop that! It's getting to the point where it is insulting and I start thinking if something is wrong with me. I don't think that sex is everything, but It definitely plays a role in a healthy relationship and I am not satisfied at all and I just do not feel happy. I don't feel like he wants me at all. It makes me doubt myself and his faithfulness. I start thinking if he doesn't want to do it at all with me maybe it is because he has found someone else, perhaps someone at work where he spends most of his time. One morning I was feeling frisky and started rubbing on him down there and he immediately stopped me and closed his legs together like a girl would. I asked him what his problem is, I know he isn't much for morning sex because he usually wakes up feeling really tired and unmotivated, but I was really getting my feelings hurt. It made me feel bad that my own boyfriend is rejecting me. I had a conversation about it with him and started crying because I got pretty emotional, he really hurt my feelings. He told me that it wasn't me that he just does not feel in the mood for sex anymore and that it doesn't mean that he thinks im not sexy anymore, it is just because he is tired and just does not feel like it. He said that he doesn't have energy anymore and never feels like he wants to do it. He even said that he dreads doing it! That comment hurt my feelings pretty bad. I don't understand what is going on, I mean he is only 24 and it's almost like he is going through some early stages of men's menopause! He said he would try to have sex with me and he did try and we had sex, but it just didn't feel all that great, because we werent really connected emotionally. I felt like he was just caving in to get me off his back, I didn't feel like he actually wanted to have sex with me! I mean, I don't get what he expects me to do, because I am not happy or satisfied and I cant make him want to do something he doesn't want to do, but I have needs! I mean what am I sopose to do? Get a sex machine or something? I cant just rely on my vibrator all the time! I would never ever cheat on him, I would feel so guilty and would not be able to go on knowing about what I did, it would just eat away at my conscious. I`seriously would not be able to even go through with cheating, I would probably break down and start crying and say I can't do this, But I am just saying, If I did cheat on him, he couldn't really blame me really, because he doesn't want to have sex with me! Most girls these days would cheat on their boyfriends if they did not satisfy them, because people cheat when they are unhappy! I am unhappy but I would never do that, but he is a great boyfriend emotionally! But he lacks being a great boyfriend physically! Please help give me some pointers and some tips! I don't know what else to do, I really love him but I am just so unhappy right now with our sex life.

There are a number of valid reasons you bf could be reluctant to have sex.

You say he works hard, 40+ hours a week but not what he does for a living. Could he be under a lot of stress at work. While sex is often thought of as a great stress reliever. Stress is probably the number one libido killer there is. If it is stress at work try and find out what it is and see what you can do to help him relieve that stress. Talking it out at home may be a big help ans he may be reluctant to burden you. Pushing him for sex at this may only be adding to his stress level further killing his libido.

It is also possible that he has a low testosterone level and from what you've written he may be suffering from depression or both. You need to get your bf to his doctor and have him screened for depression as well as having his testosterone level checked.

Stress is the major cause of clinical depression. Clinical depression is a medical problem, unlike bipolar disorder, aka manic depression, in that the body is no longer secreting or is not secreting enough of one or two chemical's to the brain that controls moods. This is usually easily corrected with medication and a little talk therapy.

My advice: Get your bf to a doctor.

I am a really hard worker but I am not very smart. I need to study SO hard to get a B in subjects like math and science. I am better at English and other subjects.
I am in Advanced Algebra (or Algebra II) and I am a senior. Its pretty low- I should at least be in Trig. There's a few other seniors too.
I was supposed to take chemistry this year (since it was the first time I would be able to because of the math level) BUT the school I just moved to did not have any more space and I was so mad because I couldn't switch my other classes! I am taking another science and next semester I might too. In total my sciences I've taken are: Physical science, Biology, Biotechnology, forensic science right now and next sem another one like that last one.
*Many colleges say they require at least one laboratory science, so biology falls under that category right? I hope so. I really don't want to go to a community college. I want to be able to go to a University that I want to go to and take the classes needed for me there.
I am not applying to hard schools. At collegeprowler.com they are all classified as "Easy" although they aren't thaaat easy.
I am going to write a really good essay though and my grades this year will be like 3 A's, 4 B's and one C (in math- this is very common for me) The only year I did not have a C in math was Algebra 1 (got an A-)
I don't know what my avg. GPA is but I have usually gotten 3.4 and this year its gonna be like 3.3. I AM SO SCARED. My apps are due in like month and a half and I really wanna get accepted! :( I don't want to go to a community college. i am SO worried.
I have many extra co's and activities and service and interesting things about me which will help.
Any advice?
Thanks!

I am hard pressed to see how any of us can answer you as I don't think any of us sit on a college entrance board. My cousin does sit on the board for a law school entrance board. There are things they he wants to see in a transcript and an application that some of his associates on the board may not be all that interested in.

While grades are important, one of the interest my cousin has is to see if there has been a continuity in goal. Meaning in his case; has this student always wanted to be a Lawyer or is this something he chose in undergraduate school. So he looks for high school courses and electives that would lead to a pre law major in under graduate school. Then he looks at the students undergraduate courses. Yes he is looking at grades at the same time. He is also looking at work ethic, which includes the types of courses, electives and how much work is required to maintain a continuity both in grades and goals.

From what you have written I believe if my cousin was reviewing your application he would find you acceptable.

I hope this is helpful to you. I know this is a trying time for you. Getting in to you school of choice places a lot of stress on you. The only advice I can give you is to prepare for not getting in to your first or even you second school of choice. Why do this? Simply for the fact that if you have tried your best and don't get what you want and you are prepared for the worst, the fall won't be as devastating. If you do get your first choice the celebration and the feeling of accomplishment is also that much greater. Lawyers tell this to clients all the time.

When you place you hopes in the hands of others you have no control of the outcome other than the knowledge that you have done everything you can to meet the maximum requirements to get what you would like. So to avoid devastating outcomes always be prepared for the worst, them celebrate the success that much harder.

I'm 18 & have REALY REALLY small breasts. They are not even an A cup. (32AA) Finding clothes, bras & bathing suits is impossible. I avoid going to beach/pool parties with friends because i KNOW they WILL judge (especially the guys).
Push up bras don't work b/c i have nothing to push up. Literally. Padded bras don't fit-- they just sit on top of my chest with nothing in the cup.
I am really skinny and I have gone to a doctor and they've said "it's just the way I am," and that all I have to do is wait. But I hate looking like this. It's uncomfortable, I can never find clothes that fit me well (dresses and tank tops are always so loose on me) and I just want to look normal.
I have even been thinking of getting implants (my mom supports me and i know all the risks so dont tell me about that) I would be the happiest girl in the world if I get an A cup... thats perfect for me.
Please help. WHAT CAN I DO TO LOOK OLDER AND JUST BE ABLE TO FIND CUTE CLOTHES THAT FIT ME WELL? ANYTHING ELSE?

thanks.
xoxo

You are on the young side of the age where a good and reputable plastic surgeon will consider giving you implants. There are several things you should know about implant surgery.

First: There are several different procedures. The one that looks the most natural, and is also the most expensive of the surgeries, is where the implant is placed under the muscle. My wife had a mastectomy because of this she had reconstructive surgery. Her surgeon placed the implant below the muscle. As Her husband I cannot tell the difference between the reconstructed breast and her own breasted which was lifted without an implant.

Second: There are two types of implants. Saline and Silicone. You need to discuss with your doctor which type of implant is best for you. Our surgeon suggest Silicone and was very patient an explained away my concerns with this type of implant.

You want to discuss with your surgeon if it will be necessary to replace your implants at anytime in the future. This is not because they may rupture, but do to them becoming old and needing replacement.

Third: Picking a Surgeon. You want to find a Surgeon who is Board Certified by the College of Plastic Surgeons. Any Surgeon can do implant surgery. A Board certified Plastic Surgeon has met standard and training that are much higher for the practice of Plastic Surgery. This is important for a good outcome. You surgeon should show you before and after pictures of other surgeries he/she has done.

Fourth: The Plastic Surgeon can if he/she agrees with you get you from flat chested to triple DDD cup if you ask for it. They use skin expander's to make room for the implant.

For the best outcome you want to stay proportion to you body size. If you don't you will have the same problems in reverse that you have know for one thing. For another you will look very disproportionate. From your description of yourself. I would talk with your surgeon about a large A cup or small B cup.

Picking a good surgeon is important. You are in no immediate danger so there is no rush to surgery for you say there was for my wife. You have the time to find a good surgeon, one you will be comfortable with. Use the Internet to see where the doctor trained and where the doctor went to school.

Where I live we are lucky to have several of this countries best medical schools and teaching hospitals. Our surgeon just happened to honor graduate every school she ever went to and was chief resident during her surgical residency. We were lucky to find her as one of our doctors had recommended another doctor but the Breast Cancer foundation which was offering support to us insisted we meet with this doctor. We hired her on the spot.

Plastic Surgeons are use to prospective patients telling them they need to think about it. This is especially true after the business manger gives them the information on the cost of surgery. This is elective surgery which most insurance companies will not cover. So unless there is another underlying reason for them to pay for it you will bear all the costs, which depending on where you live could go as high as $20K.

The norm for the type I am suggesting, which my insurance company's cost, just over $10K including the mammograms and other testing prior to surgery. This was just the Plastics cost.

I generally take a dim view on implant surgery, with the exception of people like my wife and you. You have a valid reason for getting implants. Not only will you look better but you will feel better about yourself. Having a better self esteem will help you make your way in the world. For you implants are a solution not a whim or a desire to be something you need not be.

I had a question. I was born a male, and like girls. When I was in my teens I would try on my mom's clothing around the house. For some reason lately, I have been feeling more of the girl stuff. I have manincure, pedicure, waxing, finger nail painting, and always want to look sexy. I keep my arms and legs shaved, and have always wondered what it would be like to be a girl and have a female genitalia. I just like my body to feel soft and smooth. Is this normal or is there something else going on.

When it comes to sexuality I try not to subscribe to the theories of normal or abnormal. If it is right for you then it is normal.

Since you are questioning this then I would suggest you might have transgender issues. This could be something that may be a real sexual identification issue for you. To find out requires working with a sex therapist. Are you a women in a mans body or are you more of a cross dresser. Working with a psychologist specializing in sexual make up will answer that question.

I think you need to find this out if for no other reason than your own peace of mind. Most psychologists are Board Certified by a State Board. You can call the State Board to get a list of psychologists in your area who may specialize in sex counseling and gender identification. Once you have a list call and talk with them until you find one you are comfortable enough to meet with and talk openly with. It is important that you be comfortable with the therapist and can be totally open with him or her.

I believe by asking the question you have asked you may be questioning your sexual identity; which would to me include transgenderism. I believe talking with a therapist will give you better answers than we can.

Okay, Im in my first year of college and I go full time. I'm going to be a Neonatal Nurse. I go from 8-4;; I got a job back in Sept 2010, and I got fired in June of 2011; My boyfriend currently lives with My parents and I; and I have to take him to work at 7pm and pick him up at 4:30 in the morning; (because he is saving up enough money to buy him a car, since his mother left him homeless&&he has nothing!) therefore no job will be flexible with my hours; my dad has always put me down. He's called me a mistake, worthless, ect.

Just yesterday, he wanted the new MW3, so having class the next day, and having to pick up my boyfirend at 4:30, I went and got it for him at Midnight. Sure he was happy he got it, but I dind't even get a thank you.

He told me today, that I'm not going to make it in life.

All I have ever wanted was to make him proud, and I feel like I failed him at a daughter. Everything I've ever done, I've done to try to make him proud of me. In high school, I got AB honor roll, and I even got a scholar ship into college. But even then he never said he was proud.

I told my mom about dad saying I'm not going to make it in life, and she just looked at me, didn't reassure me, or nothing. I cried, the only person who reassured me was my boyfriend.

I just feel so worthless, and such a burden. I've tried talkin to him, and nothing ever changes. Any advice?

Buck up, I've been there and have the mental scares to prove it. Some parents just don't know how to be proud of their children's accomplishments. Sometimes the parents expect one thing and the child wants another.

My fathers way of showing his displeasure was not with words it was with the lack of words. I got the silent treatment until I apologized for whatever wrong he felt I committed or agreed with whatever we disagreed on. My mother was the peacemaker. She would, from my earliest childhood memories, get me to apologize.

Well the last time he pulled this act on me mom wasn't alive to make the peace and he went to his grave, some ten years later without us ever speaking again. I would not apologize for something I had no part in and in a five page letter I told him so. He wouldn't back down. Was I wrong, I don't know. But I have no regrets.

In the interim 9/11 happened. As a firefighter units from my jurisdiction in a surrounding county were dispatched to the Pentagon. Did he call to see if I or his grandson, also a firefighter were okay, no. My son and I were both involved in separate life threatening auto accidents, again no call. My son honor graduates his Paramedic class which would later allow him to save the life of an 18 month old child. For which he is awarded a fire department commendation. Did he call or write or in anyway congratulate his grandson, no. Why was he not speaking to his grandson. Because he was my son.

I write all this to show you that you are not alone. There are many parents who subject their children to what amounts to mental abuse they just don't know any better. Unlike me who waited 40 plus years to do something about it, you can do something about it a lot sooner.

First ignore him. You know you are better than what his is saying to you. You have a life plan for yourself that will allow you to support yourself comfortably and well above the medium income of this country. The average salary for and RN ranges from $60K to $80K depending on shift work and where you live. So finish school and get your Masters in Nursing. Nursing is and will be in high demand. With that degree you can go anywhere in this county and find a job.

Just keep telling yourself this is who he is and he doesn't know any better. You are a good person doing good things to better yourself. If you can do this when you finish school ant start your nursing career you can move out. I think then you may see a change in your father.

Last January I told my doctor that I needed to switch to a new birth control because the kind I had been on for two years never alleviated my cramps and I still had moderate acne. I realize that is not the main purpose for birth control, but if I could get a kind that had other benefits, I wanted it!

Anyway, she switched me to Beyaz brand birth control. By my next period, my cramps were GONE, my flow was so light and only lasted about 3 or 4 days, AND my acne was almost completely gone. My skin looked awesome. So I have been on Beyaz for the past year, except for one time when I missed a pill, started my period, and had to wait until the Sunday after my next period so that I could start a new month to get back on track. And again, my skin immediately got clearer and cramps stopped, period lighter, everything.

All of that being said, I just had to restart my pills last month. I know it sounds like I start/stop a lot, but I'm actually pretty good about taking it. Anyway, I have taken them all on time but I started my period EARLY, which NEVER happens with or without the pills, and now my skin is breaking out really bad. And I've been on my period for over a week. It's just light spotting, but still.

Any help is greatly appreciated.

We are not doctors and cannot make or give out diagnoses; only advice.

Since you are concerned, and you have a valid concerns here. My advice would be to either go see your doctor or call the office. If you call the office ask if this is something you need to be concerned about and if the doctor wishes to see you.

When it comes to medical problems, aches, pains something doesn't feel right. Just because someone else had a similar pain or experience doesn't mean what was diagnosed for them is your problem. Even if it is the same problem the same medication or treatment will may notwork for you.

This is why anyone in the medical field will tell anyone they can to never take someone else's medication. Only your doctors knows what you can tolerate and what works best for you based on his/her knowledge of your medical history.

Long story short: When having a medical concern or problem it is best to check with the proper medical doctor.

I accept the words '' cheaters never win'' it's normal for the human being inlove. but I hope not he way he wanted to. He does know I love him, and I know he does enjoy seeing me and being with me. But he never say his feeling for me. But he does want to continue keeping in touch with me on email only. After a year not seeing each other I thought I am strong enough and good start to not seeing him anymore. But from time to time I still receive emails from him asking me where I am what am I doing. I honestly don't know what's wrong me, but a year without seeing him I found myself begging him to try seeing me again:-(. Although it's not I always wanted. At least I wanna see that he would make the effort to say'' when I can see you again'' but never heared of it. He seems to enjoyed hearing that I am begging him.the last time i saw him because I begged him, he told me he wasn't be seeing me anymore if he is not happy. I ask if he is now happy his answer is always be ''he can't complain more where he is wih his wife. doesn't mean im just a fling??

Why are you interested in this guy. He is, by you own words, a player. No women deserves someone like him. He is someone that is so full of himself as to think he is god's gift to women, when in fact he and those like him are the biggest jacka$$es to walk this earth. Regardless of how you feel or what you think you don't need him. There are many more better men out there than him.

Please accept what I am about to say in the spirit I am giving it. Which is to say to help you improve yourself.

In almost any question we receive I can generally get a feeling for the person writing it from how it is written. From your letter, because of the spelling and grammatical errors and the use of street talk I am unable to define who you are.

You need to do a better job of writing to get your message across especially when asking a question or asking for help. If a reader cannot properly define from your writing what you are asking or questioning you will not get the answers you are looking for.

If a reader such as I, can get a feeling for the person writing from what they have written. That too helps in answering the question asked.

What is my fate? How much time will I spend in jail?

You need to tell us what you did. How else can we tell you if you will go to jail and how much time you may spend there.

I have to have my first gyno exam since my rape in two days. I'm wondering how I should handle it. Do I tell the nurse anything, and if I do how much do I tell? What can and can't I tell her? Please help me!!!!!! I am really anxious and nervous about it. I could use all the advice anyone has.

First: I am extremely sorry for what you have gone through. No one should ever go through what you have experienced. At the end of my advice to you I will provide some information and a link to some people I know can help you.

Whenever you visit your doctor you must be completely open with the doctor and the doctors clinical staff in order for them to treat you properly. Remember that since you were 14 you have had medical confidentiality. This means you can visit your doctor(s) and discuss anything you feel you need to with the doctor in complete privacy and confidentiality.

If you are a teenager over 14 and mom accompanies you to the doctors office the doctor will ask her to wait in the waiting room while you are being examined and treated. Everything that goes on in the exam room, everything that is discussed between you and the doctor and staff is confidential and by law my not be told to anyone. Your written permission is required to release any medical information to anyone including the insurance company.

The law is called "HIPPA", Health Information Personal Privacy Act. As a Firefighter/EMT I fall under this act. Under HIPPA I am not even allowed to inform loved ones of what hospital we transport the injured to from accident scenes without the permission of the victims.

The penalties under this act are to great to violate this law for anyone and your doctors knows this. No matter how much of a fuss or scene mom or dad may make a clinician cannot release this information. Do not let yourself be forced into signing a release if you don't want to.

Next hopefully you have reported the rape to the police. If not your doctor will probably discuss with you the importance of doing so. If it was something like a date rape, which most rapes fall under, it is very important to report them. It won't fix what happened to you but hopefully will save the girl from being raped.

Next: There is an organization called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They have a 24/7 hotline you can call to speak with a trained call taker who can help you. They will talk with you for as long as you need to talk with them. They will help you find trained professionals within your community to help you deal with what has happened so that you can get on with your life. Their phone number is: 1-800-656-HOPE. Their web address is:http://www.rainn.org/

If you remember one thing from what I have written today please remember this: You have done nothing to cause your rape. You are a victim. He, the rapist has all the fault on him. Please no matter what happens from today forward remember that.

My boyfriend broke my cherry today with only his fingers. How do i know that?? I had blood. I was wondering since that is now popped does it make it easier to have sex for the first time??

Did your boyfriend break you Hymen with his fingers? That should be your question? The answer to that question is probably not; as you would most likely have felt a tearing sensation.

Most likely his fingernail scratched your vagina causing it to bleed, which can and has happened to other young ladies.

The answer to the question you did write is NO. Your Hymen is an impediment to first intercourse. Your muscular reaction is more of a problem than your Hymen is. If you are nervous or scared you will clamp up and not lubricate enough for a comfortable penetration.

You don't say how old you are. I have a feeling you are about 13 or 14 at this time. This is not an age you should be considering having sexual intercourse.

I'm sure you've heard all the reasons from you parents. Let me add two more. First: Teenage boys cannot keep a secret. If you have sex with a boy he is going to tell his best bud. That information will get around school faster than the Internet could spread it. Before you know it every boy in school will be chasing after you as they want sex as well. Because they don't want to appear as a loser they will tell their friends you slept with them and you get a reputation you don't want.

Second: From the moment puberty hits them teenage boys are hard wired to find a willing sex partner. They have to find away to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the new hormones racing through their bodies. Because of this they confuse lust for love.

How do I know this? I was once a teenage boy as was you father, uncles and grandfathers. Ask them if you don't believe me. They will tell you the same thing.

Sex is a beautiful thing when the time is right. It is not something to be given by you freely to someone you will probably not spend the rest of your life with or be in a long term committed relationship with as an adult.

Im 13 and i think im like a quarter of the way through puberty and i have a 6 1/2 inch Erect penis is that big or what just wonderin

According to the latest Ansel Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.

Keep in mind that this is the average, the middle between the largest and the smallest, above the micro-penis (below 2 inches in length). The survey states that size varies based on age, time of day, level of excitement and ambient temperature.

Average Vagina Size

Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

As you can see by the size chart of the average female vagina. Any penis over 6 inches in length and 2 inches in girth is larger than the average vagina can easily accommodate. A larger penis will cause a woman with an average sized vagina pain during intercourse, especially if the male is not a thoughtful and considerate lover.

I hope this answers your question.

I was with my boyfriend for 3 months, and everything was going fine, till one night he got to drunk to go home and stayed at mine; we are both 16 but stayed in seperate rooms. (To respect both our parents) and his mom stopped all contact between us, and its been nearlly a month and I haven't contacted him just because she said not to, but he phoned me once and she found out and threatened to get me beat up, then again for no reason she threatened to hit me if she sees me and now she is saying I was pregnant and everything.. What can I do to stop her ?

In legal terms she has assaulted you. Assault means she has threatened you and has the ability to carry out this threat; "she threatened to hit me if she sees." It may even be child endangerment, this I'm not to sure about.

As to; "now she is saying I was pregnant," This is slander and defamation of character. A civil action that can be pursued in civil court by your parents on your behalf.

My advice is to tell you parents and have them contact the police. If you truly believe that she will hit you or harm you in anyway if she sees you that is the definition of assault. The police will investigate and file the appropriate charges or turn the matter over to the prosecutors office for charging.

I don't understand his mother. While you two were very, very wrong to be drinking at your ages. You did the absolute right thing to make him stay at your home rather then send him home drunk and possibly get hurt.

Underage drinking is very serious. If your parents were home and allowed you two to drink they too can be in trouble. If they were not home and you two were drinking from what was on hand at home; Well it depends on the laws of the state you live in as to just who is in trouble and how much.

You and your bf are definitely in trouble for underage drinking. Even though you were smart enough or mature enough to do the right thing that does not mitigate the crime. Yes, underage drinking is a crime in all 50 states. Whether you will be charged is up to the prosecutors office should you seek the police to help with the threat of an assault.

Mom or dad or both could speak to this woman and decide for themselves whether this woman's threat is credible and why she is so upset. They can also try and defuse the situation without contacting the police.

What is important her are two things. First: Is the fact that you did something wrong behind your parents back. That action is now causing consequences for you that the resolution of which may and could cause further consequences for you and everyone involved. Second: There are reasons we have the laws we have. You cannot pick and chose which ones you wish to obey, even as a juvenile. You may as they say, bite the bullet on this one, and walk away without any penalties. But let this be a lesson to you.

One of the first laws of physics is, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This holds true when ignoring or breaking a law. You may get away with it this time, next time you may not be so lucky.

What does "Love can blind you to someone's faults" mean?
Thank you so much! :)

I don't entirely agree with timmy494 answer, although he is on the right track. I don't think someone can turn a blind eye to someones abuse.

In more general terms, ""Love can blind you to someones faults," means you don't see minor faults such as bad table manors or selfishness. Maybe this person is constantly tardy for dates or reckless in how they spend their money.

When your in love with someone you tend to ignore these faults which you might see and remark about in others. These same faults may even be a major irritant to you when seen in others but not in this person. That's what "What does "Love can blind you to someones faults" really means.

Eventually you will see these faults when the shininess of your love starts to dull as you get comfortable with each other. It may take a week, a month a year or even 20 years but it will happen. When it does another saying comes to pass. "You knew I was like this when we met, why is it bothering you now."

So while love can blind you to someones faults being blinded by love can be very hurtful in the long run.

Hello; I have a 30 yr old daughter and 2 grandchildren (which are my world!) living in a home on my property, which I own. I pay all utilities and living expenses and have for years. My daughter is non-medicated, diagnosed bipolar, so she can be difficult at best. My issue is that both of her children suffer from asthma and alergies and the home is older, so for those reasons I feel it would be best if she only smoke outside. I have set up 2 patio areas, one in front and one in back, and she still smokes in the house. She has put her son in the middle and told him if he tells me he won't be able to see me, which broke his heart. He told me and I couldn't believe she would put him in the middle like that, but that's her. She also sees her estranged husband quite often and he is a prescription drug abuser. She was one too for years, and they both spent 30 days in rehab. She is still clean as far as I know. But, that situation also bothers me. What can I do short of making her move and losing the constant contact of the kids, whom depend on me immensely for even their day to day needs. Also, she cannot even hold a job, so I don't know where they'd go either. Thanks for reading! (This is taking a toll on my health too...stressss)

You are in a difficult situation. Your trying to be a good grandparent and helpful parent. In doing so you are enabling your daughter. To be anything else could endanger your grandchildren and your daughter. You are literally between a rock and a hard place.

While smoking is bad for anyone with asthma, if the children are healthy and not suffering attacks caused by your daughters smoking. Then there is little you can do from a legal standpoint to step in and defend or protect them. After all they are her children. If the situation is that the children are suffering because of her smoking then you can attempt to petition for custody.

I would suggest you seek the counsel of a good Family Law Attorney and see what your legal standing is. You other options are probably not going to be to your liking as they would separate you from your grandchildren This I believe would not be good for them as well; based on what you have written.

I don't see children's services as being an option for you at this time for if the children are healthy they won't step in. If they find reason to step in they will most likely attempt to place the children with the father before placing them with you.

As I said I don't see many options here for you other than consulting a good lawyer. If I were in your position I would continue to do as your doing and monitor the children's health. Be ready to step in when and if the time comes that you need to. Hopefully that time does not come.

One thing I would do if I were you is get your daughter back into treatment for her bipolar disorder. One of the biggest problems with the bipolar disorder is medication. When they are not depressed they feel they do not need medication. When they are depressed it is hard to get them to take medication. Depending on how bad your daughters bipolar disorder is the medication can be as bad as the disorder. Some of the medications used are among the strongest psychotropic drugs there are. This is another reason bipolar patients are non compliant with medications.

I was raped about a year ago and now I'm dateing a guy that I feel like I am giving mixed signals. I freak out when he does certain things, and when I do things,then I feel guilty like I shouldn't be getting any pleasure out of it. When will I begin to lose the guilt over being intimate with him?

First let me say I'm so sorry you had something like this happen to you. I'm sure you have heard this before but let me say it again. You did nothing to cause you to be raped and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Rape is all about control and that is all on the rapist not the victim.

If you have never had any psychological help after being raped then I would suggest you get some. Be raped is the most traumatic thing a women can have happen to her. It is not something that can easily be put behind you. You can't just pretend to put it out of your mind and move forward. Traumatic experiences such as rape will manifest themselves over and over again until properly dealt with and this requires the help of professionals.

Their is an organisation called RAINN; which stands for, Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline; where the call are taken by trained call takers who will talk with you and help you find professional within your community to help you. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.

What you are feeling when your boyfriend attempts to make love to you is unfortunately normal after being raped. You can move forward and get by this with the proper help. Pleas call RAINN and ask for their help.

I was at practice the other day and after awhile I don't know what happened but my thumb started really hurting. When I try to bend it to crack it, it hurts but when i pulled it to pop it did pop. SO i don't know if I broke it you bruised the bone....i don't know and it hurts if i put pressure on the knuckle so any help?
Please and Thank You

None of us are doctors; to tell if a bone is broken you have to have an x ray. The standard treatment if there is no nerve damage is to just splint the finger and let it heal. But this requires a doctor to make these decisions not one of us.

You need to go to a doctor, a hospital ER or one of the emergency clinics and have the thumb looked at by a doctor. If you have damaged the nerve or the ligaments surrounding the thumb you will need to see a hand specialist. If not properly treated some really bad things can happen to your hand.

Tell mom or dad what happened and ask them to take you to a doctor or clinic to have your hand looked at.

hi, me and my boyfriend are dating for almost 2 years and i'm in my early 30's and he's in late 40's. we live together. my question is, he's been ejaculating in me for a past 3 months and i always get a period every month as usual. he never wears condom and i'm not on a pill. i know, we're having sex without the protection. we're not trying to have a baby yet but if i'm pregnant then we're more than happy. does it mean we're infertile or how long normally does it take to be a pregnant? thank you all so much.

The problem may not be you it may be him. He may have a low sperm count. The only way to know for sure who or what is the problem is for both of you to be checked by a fertility doctor.

Getting pregnant is not as easy as it sounds. While trying to get pregnant is the easy and the most fun part. The actual mechanics of getting pregnant is complicated. A high sperm count is needed, as well as an egg being in place for the sperm to fertilize. This is where the complicated parts of getting pregnant are. Only a fertility specialist can tell you if there is a problem with you or your boyfriend and if these problems can be overcome.

okay, so I've been dating my bf for a while... like 7 months going on 8 in a few weeks and he and i have talked about sex, I want to get birth control, that way i can be responsible and not get preggo, I mean I'm 17 i should have it by now right? my bf and i want to wait until i'm 18, but i want it just in case you know? So how do i ask my mom to help me get it? she and i have talked about it before and i just want to bring it up again, but i dont want to seem like i'm having sex at this point in time... which i'm not... he and i are still both virgins... how do i ask my mother to help me?

A law past some years ago called HIPPA which is a Federal Law provided teenagers 14 and older with medical privacy and confidentiality for certain issues. Reproductive issues for women was one of them.

With this knowledge you can visit you doctor or GYN with or without your moms permission for any reason. Whatever you tell the doctor and whatever the doctor treats you for is confidential. The doctor needs you permission in writing to share this information with anyone including your parents. Only in a life or death situation where you are unable to make a decision can the doctor tell your parents.

If you obtain birth control pills and mother finds out. You can tell her by law you didn't need her permission and you asked the doctor for something to help control,your periods. Birth control pills are also regularly dispensed to,control a women's period. Your doctor cannot say otherwise if asked by your mother or it will be a violation of you'd confidentiality under the law.

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