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Failed at life.
My parents raised me to be an utter failure. Besides mentally absuing me, they destroyed my self esteem and my life and never gave me any chores, responsiblities or motivation to succeed. they never gave me any chance to excel, any opportunity to feel tha i had some self worth. they left me angry, helples and hopeless. Now I'm 33, and I have failed at everything I have ever tried, every job I have ever held. I was fired from practically every job I have help for incompetence or simply coming in late. I don't want to do anything and feel no motivation; I would rather end up a ward of the state or in a mental hospital...at least i could get fed and taken care of and not have to struggle just to earn some bread to eat. I hate life and never asked for it. I never wanted any of this, my parents brought me here against my will, fucked me up against my will, now after 30 years of hardwired helplessness I am supposed to thrive? I have no motivation to do anything...to work, to live. I just want to die, and if not, be taken care of, just sit in the grass and stare at the sky until I die, and just have peace the rest of my days. If you call me a spoiled brat, go fuck yourself. Taht's what I am, that's what I am wired to be...a loser. I tried job and failed them. I went to the army and had a nervous breakdown. I went to school for a medical degree and turn out to be a failure...i am too scared to make any decisions for my patients and instead I run and find a competent adult to make the hard choices because, well, I am a baby. I'm still living in my folks house, as I have no income at 33. No one wants to hire a new grad like me. And honestly, I don't want to work, fuck it, my parents thought it was so important to give birth to me and spend my whole childhood fucking me up, let them pay for my food. It's called consequences. I just want the end to come and I want to have nothing left to fail at.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
have you seen the movie "The Secret"?it might help.
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On reading this, my first thought was it was a wind-up. I have to agree with you though, you're a spoiled brat. At least you've achieved that.
You sound SO sorry for yourself. You live with your parents, they provide everything for you. You don't WANT to work? Neither does anyone I know, but it's a necessity to live.
Find a job and somewhere to live close to the job, move out of your parents house and get a life!! This is the only one you've got and at 33, the end is in sight. You're not a baby relying on mom and dad anymore, not even a teenager who doesn't know what's expected of him. You are an adult who knows better than that.
What are the consequences of you remaining as you are?
A wasted life.
Who will come to your funeral?
Probably only the funeral director, its his job.
How sad? Change it then, only you can!
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There are many ways to become a ward of the state and it appears you have failed at that too. Why, because first of all deep down you don't want to be a ward of the state.
Secondly you are just plain lazy. If you had the where with all to get through medical school how in the hell can you say you are a failure. No one likes making hard choices but we make them, its part of life. You don't want to die, you want to be coddled for the rest of your life. Well I have a news flash for you life just doesn't work that way. You get out of life what you put into it, even in today's economic times. If your parents didn't teach you that as a child it is never to late to learn. You say you were fired from every job you ever had for incompetence or being late. You can put this too under the heading of "PURE LAZYNESS"
There is nothing in what you have written that is you parents fault other than being indulgent. But there is a cure for this. It is called stop feeling sorry for yourself. Pull yourself up by your boot straps and make something of yourself.
You must be a smart person to have gotten in to medical school so start there. Then start by putting yourself on a schedule which starts with getting up in the morning by 7AM. If you don't have a job, your job each day is to look for one. Remember it is the early bird that catches the worm. Do not come home again till 5pm until you find a job. Then adjust your schedule as required to get to your job 20 minutes before start time and to return home after quiting time. Bed time is at a time that will give you 8 hours of restful sleep before having to wake as to prepare to leave home so to arrive at work 20 minutes before start time.
Your motivation for working is simple: No one not the state,not your parents or any relative is going to care for you. You are totally dependent on yourself for your food, clothing and medical needs. If this takes having the mind set that your an orphan then that is what you need to do.
Please remember these things: There are no free rides today or any other day. You are not entitled to anything you cannot provide for yourself and God helps those who help themselves.
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Please don't think this way. If you continue to be this way, you may need to see a specialist, whom you can tell all of your issues to. I can't understand why parents would do such terrible things to a child, and maybe they deserve some talking to. What do you like to do? You mentioned that you didn't like money, but maybe you can find work in the field that you like. AND PLEASE DO NOT BECOME AND ALCOHOLIC! That is one of the worst thing you can do. I really want you to be different, and have a good view on life. Heres and idea: practice thanking god for things you have. When you get out of bed thank god for a new day. Hope this helped!
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