Hi! I'm Stephen, and I think my calling (for now) is to give advice. Later in my life, I would like to be a dentist or a dermatologist. Ask away!
Website: Brilliant Advice
Gender: Male
Location: Boston
Occupation: Advice Columnist
Member Since: November 7, 2011
Answers: 21
Last Update: August 29, 2015
Visitors: 1996
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I was raised to be Catholic. But the bible revolts me. It's sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic and it even supports slavery and rape. And i don't believe. I don't. This wasn't my choice. I didn't choose to do this religion of hatred. But I'm scared of burning in hell. That's another thing, people join religions out of fear. But none of them are correct except maybe the Buddhist religion because it's more of a philosophy in my eyes. I've even thought about joining buddhism. Or even paganism/wiccanism just to spite everybody. And i like the idea of worshipping a visible nature and not an invisible God. Why is this religion so hateful? And what religion do you think o should be? (link)
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The Church is beautiful. It teaches about Jesus, and how we can be like him. It's old fashioned for a reason. People today are losing sight of God and acting immorally because they think it's okay to act immorally. Anyway, unless you were raised Catholic, the Church is voluntary. Are you an adult? If so, I recommend being a practicing Catholic, but it's your choice where you want to be or not. And maybe you're interpreting the bible the wrong way, because that was written a looooong time ago and you have to kind of picture what the situations in the bible would be like today.
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will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up (link)
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Don't do it. It's times like these where life should seem valuable. You made it out of that accident with your life. Surely you have things to be grateful for. You have God to thank for your life. My advice to you is to turn your life around. Just like old buildings and ships can be renovated, improved, and ultimately repurposed, people can too. Instead of focusing on what's wrong, focus on what's right and wait for clarity. Happiness isn't where you live. It's not about your abilities. It's not about your knowledge, your money, your house, or any of your possessions. But it is about something. It's about what you do with them. You may not be able to walk, but you can surely use your hands for the better of the world, even in prison.
"Christ has no body but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks
Compassion on this world,
Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good,
Yours are the hands, with which he blesses all the world.
Yours are the hands, yours are the feet,
Yours are the eyes, you are his body.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours."
It's not my choice what you do with your life. It's yours. If you're asking me, I say that you have many possible positive things in your life. You could turn to Christ and start over. He is always there. I know it feels like the government is always pushing against you (probably because they actually are), but Jesus is always there. You can always turn to Him. He listens to everything, He protects you, He gave you life. He controls everything that happens. I know it seems like he's against you, but really, truly, EVERYTHING has to have SOME good come out of it. EVERYTHING. "When God pushes you to the edge of difficulty, Trust Him fully, because two things could happen: Either He'll catch you when you fall, or He will teach you to fly." I wish you nothing but the best and you can always ask me for help.
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I havnent been able to sleep very well for the past week, and when I do it's maybe 5 hours a night with me waking up every 45 minutes in that time span. What should I do to get some sleep? (link)
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You can try melatonin. That's a vitamin and it's non habit forming. Good luck! :)
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I work in a unique environment. The company I work for has a partnership with another company. I work for company X, but company Y pays my salary. I report to managers with both companies. I have two concerns. One is that I don't have a good working relationship with my company X manager. Also, after coming to work, I found out company X hasn't given a raise in six years. The job itself is fine, and it is near my hometown. I have a job offer that would take me out of the area. I would get a 10% salary increase. And I would not report to multiple managers. It would require relocation. I am absolutely torn. What things should I consider in making the decision to stay or go? (link)
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Some things that you should consider are family happiness (don't forget parents, and certainly think of children if applicable). Think of the area of the new job, think of the atmosphere, think of the hours and the job itself. Consider what tasks that job entails. Ask yourself, "Will I be happy doing x, y, and z for this many hours a day? Am I happy with the area and public works of the area? Can I afford a decent house or apartment there? Will it be an overall good place for me live?" I hope I helped, and I wish the best of luck with this difficult time.
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ok, so thats me, the one with the girl hating my guts. I couldnt log into my account, so i had to reset amd i just used a quick account, but, the girl (L) will crumple up my notes when i send them to her, and shes been pissed now for about 4 months. And is anerexsia really that serious? She needs professional help? :0 (link)
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Hey! I know exactly how you feel to have someone hate your guts. The same thing happened to me a couple of moths ago. I screamed at a girl and we hated each other for like a month. Then, I realized that if they're not going to budge when I apologize, it's not worth it to keep saying the apology. In order to be forgiven, you have to MATERIALIZE your apology. Make a friendship bracelet, or an apology card. Offer it to L, but if they say no, just leave them alone. The thing is to make them feel a little guilty. If they approach you, act a little bit hurt and standoffish that they wouldn't forgive you. Then, you two can forgive each other. In many cases, yes, anorexia can be very serious. I really hope I helped.
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Are polo shirts from Lacoste THAT much better than other polo shirts? If so, where can I buy them for cheaper than regular price? I don't think my parents would be thrilled to know I used my college CC to spend $100+ on a shirt.
Thank you in advance! (link)
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Not really. I mean, I've had them, and I don't think they're anything special. Just get American Eagle polos. They're $20 each and they have a whole spread of nice colors and they're very durable.
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i liked this girl i started dating who i thought was an innocent girl. in fact i didn't even try to kiss her until the third date because of how innocent i thought she was. well the thing is after i kissed her and don't ask me why we started talking about sexual experiences ( i thought she had practically none so what did i have to fear). well i found out she is what is known as a virgin slut or virgin whore, a girl who is still a virgin but has kissed around 40 guys and had blown off 4 guys just because she was horny and returning the favor after they had sucked her off.
i feel a little disgusted with the horny attitude with random guys in the past and don't know what i should think.
anyway, she is leaving the country for a year so we broke up but still talk as friends. we only kissed so i didn't even get blown off myself but she is going to do some religion studies outside the country, meaning no more sex life for at least that year (no kissing, no nothing). the thing is she went to Aruba as her last opportunity to party and i hate the feeling i get when i think about the certainty of she kissing at least a couple of guys a night (which really doesn't bother me that much)and the possibility of she sucking a guy off just because she is horny (that one does bother me).
i know this inst exactly a question but i need counsel from someone.
thanks in advance. (link)
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Hey! I know exactly how you feel. It's just like when you see a house on the outside and think, "What a beautiful house." Then you look inside, and it's a dump. Not my best metapher ever :p but you were just surprised. That probably altered how you view her a little bit, I'm guessing. It must've also been a bit of a disappointment. Don't worry about it, don't give up, and remember that others WILL come along. I promise. Or in the words of Celine Dion,"Love comes to those who believe it, and that's the way it is."
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My flat iron temperature goes from 1-20 in temperature. I'm going to use heat protectant & I have thick, curly hair.
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I would say around 15, maybe less. Good luck :)
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He likes to have control over everything. This morning I asked if he wanted me to wash his pants. He didn't respond so I asked again.In return he said I told u no. I said no you didn't say anything. So he got mad and started yelling at me. I'm driving him to work and I asked did u want to stop at a store. He looks at me and says ain't it obvious. In return I said I don't know what you want to do.I can't read mind s and I never assume I ask. He turned and said just take me to work. I'm just agreeing with what you suggest. I'm like what I never made a suggestion I just needed to know what next. We got to an argument over that. When I have company he sits in my friend's conversations. But when he has company he tells me and my kids to to our room. If we come out we get into a big argument. We really have to stay in our room until he says we can come out. Sometimes it's for 8hours no exaggeration. I have a bucket in my room to use for the bathroom. We eat when he decided to let us eat. He has hit me on three different occasions. I told him I don't like him and he said he was moving with his mom. So I took him and I told him he will never see us again. The next day he was at my door asking for forgiveness but I don't feel like he's going to change. He still act's the same way. But now he says he don't give a fuck about anything I do. (link)
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Hey girl! I'm going to try to help as best I can. In the words of Ms. Celia from The Help, "I'd hit him over the head with a skillet and tell him to go straight to hell." You do that. Seriously, if he ever hits you, take something and hit him. ***I DO NOT BY ANY MEANS SUGGEST USING A FRYING PAN*** Just like take a picture frame or like one of those lap desks and hit him. give him a taste of his own medicine. As for the situation about you two not being happy together, you probably aren't happy at all. Have a talk with him. If you're married in the Catholic church or other Christian denomination, consider getting your marriage annulled. If not, just file and leave. Take your kids and move to another part of town. Rent a place if you have to. And if you do move, make them happy. That's the most important part, making others happy, including yourself. Take them to the park, bike ride with them, and just enjoy your free time together. I truly wish you the best of luck.
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Women have told me that they love my husband and would do anything to get with him. I've been told that he is THEIR exact type and ask why is he with me. I am not an ugly woman and I scratch my head wondering what they see in him. He is attractive to me and very nice but this is becoming a problem. The checker at our local store asked him if she could be the strawberries on his shortcake. He tells me when some woman hits on him which makes matters worse. There's woman at his job that makes him lunch and he says he just takes it because its free food and that he isn't interested in her. What is going on? This has become a frequent event (once or twice a week) at least. Some women will smile all in his face even if we go out somewhere together and or stand near us & make loud comments like "Why is he with her?" . One woman told him that if he became bored with me, she was available. Is he encouraging this behavior? I see other attractive, married men and nobody is making the moves on them! What's up?
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Hey! I think it's time to take out the serious voice and have a talk with Mr. Husband. He should at least say that he is happily married. Also, learn to feel good about yourself. You're beautiful! Show off your beauty! Let confidence radiate around you! You're too glam to give a damn, so don't give a damn! Be the beautiful woman that you are and don't let those other (trashy) ladies get to you. Classy, not trashy is what I like to say. I hope I helped :)
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My cousin is making me feel really uncomfortable. Today we went to my uncles house to watch the soccer match (FIFA 2014) so I was feeling ok. I went to my cousin and asked him a favor if he could download me a movie and pass it to my USB. He said ok so I went upstairs with him and at first he acted all right he asked how i was at school...... Then all of sudden he grabbed my waist pulled me to him closer each time and started touching my back softly! Then he grabbed my hand and kissed it and started like touching my back again it felt disgusting! He asked me if I feel uncomfortable and of course I said YES! Then he left and I just stood there feeling Ughh ! I don't want to tell my parents! Please what else can I do? Help me!
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In the brilliant words of Ms. Celia from Katherine Stockett's "The Help", "I'd hit him over the head with a skillet and tell him to go straight to hell." You do just what Ms. Celia says, except do it with your hand. Telling your parents is up to you, but if he ever tries to do something like that to you again, slap him. Smack him in the face. If he's ever mean to you, just tell him that you know something that he did. I wish the best of luck to you and I wish you would tell your parents, because it is really the right thing to do. I hope this all clears up and you're in my prayers.
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My friends always pick on me because I'm skinny and it is embarrassing because they say it loudly. One time, someone offered me a cookie and I said no because I just finished lunch and they were like super loudly so everyone heard, but your not fat! Look at your wrist your so skinny! Just eat the cookie! I didn't even mention the word big or fat! Another, during a sleep away field-trip they were saying how they gained weight over the trip and when they asked how much weight I gained I said I didn't gain any, they started saying super loudly and saying that's because you didn't eat anything! You skipped all your meals! Which isn't even true. For one, i ate all my meals and ate several pop tarts during the time they served snacks which is twice a day and skipped only once because it was gross food and I went to my cabin and ate popcorn instead! I always tell them to stop because I eat enough and when I don't eat it's because I already ate but they never listen and continuously say it's because I don't eat which I know isn't true because I have been told that I have a big appetite. How do I respond next time they pick on me that isn't too serious that they think I'm mad but they won't brush off? (link)
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Hey! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you differently. If you're skinny, good for you. There's a lot of people who are just jealous of people who are thin, and those people are your "friends." Just tell them, with utmost confidence (that part is important), that you're sick of them picking on you and that you're comfortable not eating two cans of pringles a week. Also tell them that you're too glam to give a damn! The best of luck to you!
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is there a risk of cancer? (link)
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Just like the other person, I'm going to say the same. I really don't think that it's cancer. If you're concerned, go to your doctor and ask. I hope you feel better!
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I'm a 15 year old girl, and my boyfriend is 17. We've been dating for 6 months, which I know is a short while for what we did.
A few days ago, we were fooling around (not having sex) and we got really worried that I might be pregnant. Looking back on it, there was absolutely no way that it could have happened, but we got concerned and purchased a Plan B pill. For some reason, I saved the receipt and my mom found it. She got highly upset and yelled for a while, refusing to listen to my apologies or let me explain what happened. Then, she made me tell my dad explicitly what happened between my boyfriend and I and then forced me to break up with him, and to never see or talk to him again.
I know that this seems a lot like teen angst and maybe it is, but I haven't had the energy or motivation to get up or do anything except sleep or cry ever since it happened. I know that I shattered my parents' trust and that I broke their hearts, and I can't begin to tell them how sorry I am for that.
I know that regaining my parents' trust is my first priority, and that after that I may be allowed to see him again. What can I do to show them that I'm truly sorry, and that I am a child that can be trusted? (link)
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Hi! I know how tough this is to have your parent screaming at you all the time. To regain their trust, just act perfect in front of them (and for best results act like that all the time, like at school and stuff when school starts). My advice for the situation: Do what you're supposed to, and everything will clear up. My personal advice to you as a person: Don't focus on what's wrong, focus on what's right and watch your days become clearer. I hope I helped!
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Hello you guys
Thank you for clicking on my question
I really am frustrated A LOT! This illness or whatever you want to call it is making me lose my mind
It's been present for quite a while (1year) yes quite a while huh..
The thing is some red stuff... Really dry and dead skin that brushes off when I rub it , I simply rub the skin, it's yellowish colorless kinda skin that falls off when I rub it off my face or below my earlobe
And now it reached the space between my freaking eyebrows since the redness and dryness is present under my eyes and on my nose and it climbed up to the space between my eye brows. My entire face is kinda red now...
Also, this dry dead sorta skin is present on my sideburns now..my sideburns (both of'em) itch and when I rub they fall off.
Some people also told me I got white stuff on my hair in the bottom of the back of my head..
I attached this picture of the redness/dryness http://oi57.tinypic.com/wlq0ao.jpg
By the way this redness/dryness disappears when I rub it with some cream and wake up the next morning gone.
Thank you SO much ! For donating priceless time for someone else.
Thank you. (link)
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Hi! Well, i think that you should establish a super skin regime. Okay, so it's SUPER important to drink a lot of water, like two or three glasses right when you get out of bed. And wash your face twice a day, once in the morning and once at night with a really gentle cleanser (i recommend Simple, the foaming kind). After you wash your face, use toner (for this, I recommend Neutrogena Alcohol - Free Toner). Toner just helps pick up the oils and bad stuff that the face wash probably left behind. After you wash and tone, use some moisturizer. This is so important, I can't stress it enough. Buy a moisturizer with SPF of at least 15. This can help protect your skin and slow aging SOOOOO much that it's crazy. So, to recap: 1. Drink water, 2. Wash face, 3. Use toner, 4. Use SPF moisturizer. Good luck!
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I went on a coffee date with a guy yesterday, and it went really well...we talked the whole time and he seemed really interested. At the end of the date, I said I'm glad we met up and we should do it again. He said absolutely and asked why my schedule is like. I said that I'm in a certain city (where he works) during the week, and around during the weekends. I said "I'm pretty open for now"...and after that there was no word or confirmation. Just a bye and that was it. So I'm wondering if i sounded too available or over eager and turned him off? I mean, I thought I was being honest... But now I'm thinking he might not reach out for a second date bc of that. Any thoughts? Especially by men... (link)
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Hey! i think that you sounded a tiny bit too eager. Like a grain of sand tiny. When guys experience said over eagerness, they usually forget it in like five minutes because it's not a big deal, and then they start remembering how cool you are and how much they want to date you. I know because I'm a guy.
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Once I have anal sex and it didn't slipper to my vagina, am I still a virgin? (Stressed) (link)
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I guess that you could tell people that you still are if it's important to you, because it would appear that you still are if they didn't have knowledge of said anal sex.
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I am Janender and I am a student. From the last year I was very tensed about my carrier because I could not a get Govt. Job. I don't know how these thing gonna be happened to me.
Sometimes I feel to kill myself. As I writing this question i am thinking about how to die. i know suicide is not the solution of anything. but i can't find the any other way.
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Hi Janeder! I just want you to ponder one thing: Will your job define you? We all want to be successful, but sometimes it just isn't worth it. Of course you want to be as happy as possible, but I'm sure that there are a lot of jobs that you could do. Maybe gain some experience, do some volunteering, get a smaller job, and then apply again. Suicide is never the answer. When I used to feel like I wanted to kill myself, I would just go and lay down and take a nap. Just please know that life is a valuable gift and that you shouldn't waste it.
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Hey, I am a Sprint user and for as long as I have had a phone, all of sprint's sucked. On October 14th, the iPhone 4s is coming out. I had just gotten my HTC Evo 4g, I like the big screen, I like the applications, the kick stand and the amazing 8 megapixel camera. The only thing I HATE about the Evo is the battery, it lasts for so little time, if I play games, it lasts shorter. For anyone who might be reading this who has the iPhone, please let me know if the battery lasts a long time. I am going to Vienna, Austria for 11 days in March, so I would have had my Evo for 6 months by then. My dad was ready for an upgrade and I wasn't when I wanted the Evo, so I took his. By March, I would be ready for my upgrade meaning the iPhone should be able 150$ maybe. I love me Evo and I think part of the reason I want the iPhone is for me to be able to say I have it, even though the Evo is iPhone's toughest competitor, I hear that iPhone sales have even dropped because everyone has switched to HTC. But, I also just really want the iPhone so my phone won't die half way through the day when I am in Austria because I know I will be snapping pictures left and right and I don't know if my Evo battery will be able to withstand that kind of use. I also figure by the time March comes, people that want the iPhone will already have it so Sprint will have it in stock by then and I won't have to be put on back order or anything. So, I love me Evo but I feel the iPhone will better suit my needs in Austria and everything that I have read about the iPhone 4S seems incredible. What do you think I should do? If anyone has the iPhone please tell me about the battery, if you've experienced any problems with it, if it's terrible, please be honest! Anybody who has the Evo, tell me if I should keep it or if I should switch.
Thanks so much guys! (link)
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Sprint Sucks! Verizon Rules!
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My parents raised me to be an utter failure. Besides mentally absuing me, they destroyed my self esteem and my life and never gave me any chores, responsiblities or motivation to succeed. they never gave me any chance to excel, any opportunity to feel tha i had some self worth. they left me angry, helples and hopeless. Now I'm 33, and I have failed at everything I have ever tried, every job I have ever held. I was fired from practically every job I have help for incompetence or simply coming in late. I don't want to do anything and feel no motivation; I would rather end up a ward of the state or in a mental hospital...at least i could get fed and taken care of and not have to struggle just to earn some bread to eat. I hate life and never asked for it. I never wanted any of this, my parents brought me here against my will, fucked me up against my will, now after 30 years of hardwired helplessness I am supposed to thrive? I have no motivation to do anything...to work, to live. I just want to die, and if not, be taken care of, just sit in the grass and stare at the sky until I die, and just have peace the rest of my days. If you call me a spoiled brat, go fuck yourself. Taht's what I am, that's what I am wired to be...a loser. I tried job and failed them. I went to the army and had a nervous breakdown. I went to school for a medical degree and turn out to be a failure...i am too scared to make any decisions for my patients and instead I run and find a competent adult to make the hard choices because, well, I am a baby. I'm still living in my folks house, as I have no income at 33. No one wants to hire a new grad like me. And honestly, I don't want to work, fuck it, my parents thought it was so important to give birth to me and spend my whole childhood fucking me up, let them pay for my food. It's called consequences. I just want the end to come and I want to have nothing left to fail at. (link)
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Please don't think this way. If you continue to be this way, you may need to see a specialist, whom you can tell all of your issues to. I can't understand why parents would do such terrible things to a child, and maybe they deserve some talking to. What do you like to do? You mentioned that you didn't like money, but maybe you can find work in the field that you like. AND PLEASE DO NOT BECOME AND ALCOHOLIC! That is one of the worst thing you can do. I really want you to be different, and have a good view on life. Heres and idea: practice thanking god for things you have. When you get out of bed thank god for a new day. Hope this helped!
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