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Feeling Guilty About Being Intimate After I Was Raped
I was raped about a year ago and now I'm dateing a guy that I feel like I am giving mixed signals. I freak out when he does certain things, and when I do things,then I feel guilty like I shouldn't be getting any pleasure out of it. When will I begin to lose the guilt over being intimate with him?
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First let me say I'm so sorry you had something like this happen to you. I'm sure you have heard this before but let me say it again. You did nothing to cause you to be raped and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Rape is all about control and that is all on the rapist not the victim.
If you have never had any psychological help after being raped then I would suggest you get some. Be raped is the most traumatic thing a women can have happen to her. It is not something that can easily be put behind you. You can't just pretend to put it out of your mind and move forward. Traumatic experiences such as rape will manifest themselves over and over again until properly dealt with and this requires the help of professionals.
Their is an organisation called RAINN; which stands for, Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline; where the call are taken by trained call takers who will talk with you and help you find professional within your community to help you. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.
What you are feeling when your boyfriend attempts to make love to you is unfortunately normal after being raped. You can move forward and get by this with the proper help. Pleas call RAINN and ask for their help.
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i don't think there's any straight forward time limit. it completely depends on the individual. You shouldn't feel guilty and its completely natural to not be comfortable after having such a traumatic ordeal. My best advice to you would be to talk about what happened to you with someone, preferably a professional as they can guide you through this. If however you would not like to talk to a stranger about it, speak to either a family member or a friend and just talk it out with them.
I hope everything goes okay for you and i'm really sorry you had to go through something like that. x
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