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ok well this is my first tyme to visit this website n people have great questions n answers. so i wanna get sum advice. ok well dis monday we have volleyball tryouts in muh skoo.n i wanna tryout but im scared what if i dunt make it? cuz i already triedout last yr to b in da dance(hip hop) n i dint make it. so if i duntt make volleyball it will seem like i cant to anithin. so wha should i do? help please (link)
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Well, if you don't try out, you DEFINITELY can't make it. And it's not like you'll die if you don't make the cut. They won't ban you from ever trying anything else, after all; there will be other things that you can try.
I can tell you this: when you're older, what you'll regret are the things that you didn't try for. Or at least, things that weren't stupid. I don't regret that I never started smoking, but I definitely regret that I didn't try out for more stuff when I was younger.
Besides, at your age, you have ALL SORTS of possibilities. There are probably things that you have NO IDEA that you're good at. So try as many things as you can, and remember that even if you don't make it in some things, you've learned something. And that's valuable.
This is your chance. When you're older, working at a job, you won't have the OPTION to try to play volleyball, or dance, or anything else - ar at least, it will be a lot harder to find the time. Grab your chance while you can!
Good luck!
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S_C here, since you wanted to check out my column, I thought I'd have a look at yours!! I like it, you give good advice, but hey, you've been around the block! Haha, not to make ya sound any older :D! Okay, well I better get well rested for my dentist appointment, good night and goodbye. I assume we'll talk again in another chat session eventually, so until then, good night!
~(*Kate*)~ (link)
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Hi, S_C! I hope your appointment went well - or rather, I hope that it *does* go well. I think.
You give good advice yourself, proving that age is not necessary to good advice. And, the truth is, I don't mind my age; I have a three-year-old son, and he makes me feel a lot younger than I am. :D
It was fun talking last night; I hope we can do it again sometime. But not so late - I'm so tired this morning that I can barely type. At my age, I definitely need more than three hours of sleep. :D
Take care!
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Hey you guys seem to have really good taste in movies. I was wondering if you'd give me any recomendations. Anything that deals with
psychology, drug use or a movie that makes you think. I've seen Thirteen and Spun so anything else would be great. Thanks alot.
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I'm old, so here are some older movies:
Altered States - inspired by the sensory deprivation experiments of Dr. John Lilly, and in turn the inspiration of Ah-Ha's video of "Take On Me".
Videodrome - one of James Woods' first films, this is a mind-bending film from David Cronenberg. After I first saw it, for about half an hour I questioned the nature of reality.
Freud (1962) - I've never seen the whole thing, but a friend of mine is a HUGE fan.
Dreamscape - a slightly corny science fiction thriller, but its presentation of dreams is actually quite well done, considering the special effects of the time. A fun movie.
The Third Man - this classic film noir has nothing to do with psychology or drug use. It's just one of the greatest, most adult films that was ever made - and that's not just my opinion, but the opinion of a huge number of film experts and reviewers. If it doesn't make you think, I can't imagine why.
The Tenth Level - this movie is apparently quite rare, but it's a dramatization of the famous Milgram experiments, in which subjects were willing to torture other people to death by remote control because they were told to by people in authority. I've never seen it myself, but I'd love to.
I hope you enjoy them!
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Is 13 old enough to have a boyfriend...not like pair off and go out on an actual date or anything...but to really like a boy and have a first kiss or sumthin...it's not like I want to, but when I see kids in my grade kissing and holding hands and stuff and I'm just curious to whether it's right or if it's silly or if it's age-appropriate...? (link)
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A kiss at 13 isn't anything to worry about. On the other hand, these days it usually doesn't STAY at a kiss - things seem to progress to sex and pregnancy awfully quickly.
But a kiss, jeeze, that's fine. Although it's also totally fine to wait. Basically, do what feels right to you. You sound pretty sensible.
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Sorry, i didn't know what category to put this under. lol, okay my question is, if you dont know how to put a tampon in, and you're NOT on yor period. Can you still practice to stick one in you? Because I'm going to a party soon and I should be getting my period soon. And I'm going to have to swim. And I just need to know how to put a tampon in. So could I practice, while I'm not on my period? What would it do? (link)
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You can practice. It won't hurt you, although it might be a little harder to use it since you'll be drier than normal.
You probably shouldn't leave it in TOO long, though.
Good luck!
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this is stupid but i'll give 5's. if you want to get motovated to do something like work out everyday or practice for a sport everyday does anyone have any ways that they get motovated for something like that? thanks in advanced (link)
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One thing that helps is to make a regular schedule. If you know that from 7 to 8 o'clock (or whenever) every day is your time to work out, you're much more likely to stick to it - particularly once you make it through the first few days.
You can develop that habit surprisingly quickly.
This next motivator is more difficult to explain, but one thing that helped me a LOT a while ago was to keep in mind the good feeling I'd get after a workout. Every night that I felt like blowing it off, I reminded myself of how crappy I'd feel the next day for failing, and how good I'd feel THAT NIGHT on the way home from a successful workout. That worked really well for me, and I was able to keep going to the gym at least five days a week for more than a year. I lost about 45 lbs and put on a LOT of muscle.
And then I met my wife, and gained it all back again. Oh well. :D
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All of a sudden this morning, my nokia 3205 cellphone screen went BLUE (eventually went black) and I can't see ANYTHING. I can still make and recieve calls, but the menu and display are gone. How can I fix this. (link)
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I had a similar problem. This may or may not work for you, but the first thing to try is to take out your battery, wait for a minute or so, and then put your battery back in. Plug the phone into a charger, and try to turn it on.
Like I say, it might not work; but it's worth a try. Good luck!
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alrighty im 13 and i want to start to masterbuate but i have like noo clue what to do like what do i use how do i do it etc!! help me out!! (link)
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You really need to say if you're a boy or a girl, you know. There are big differences. :D
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ok so my boyfriends best friend died in a fire and hes beside himself plus im starting highschool and we dont live near each other so he keeps telling me he needs me the most now and he cant have me he thinks im unhappy with him and im not im extremely happy when hes sober truth of the matter is tho he tried to drink himself to death if it hadnt been for my friend hed be dead by now hes just so unhappy and im unhappy knowing i cant do anything to fix it but what worries me is that he doesnt care that im so unhappy now theres nothing hell let me do about the situation he promised me he wouldnt try to kill himself but hes still drinking weve broken up or whatever but i miss hearing from him " i love you" and i miss saying it yesterday i was talking to him and he just sayd i gotta go bye and it hurt me so bad not seeing the i love you more than anything at the end im trying to be there for him but hes not letting me its like hes trying to shut me out i dont know what i can do i love him to much to just let him go and be in this depression i want to help but he wont let me what can i do??? -broken hearted (link)
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I was involved in a very similar situation long ago, and I've got to tell you: you're in over your head. This *isn't* something you can fix yourself.
He needs professional help. You should talk to him about it, if you're willing. If you're not comfortable with that, you need to talk to a responsible adult; his parents, a school counselor, his doctor, SOMEONE. Tell them how depressed he is, and tell them that you that you're very worried about him.
Now, he'll probably find out that you did that. And he may regard it as a betrayal. I'm not going to lie to you: this could seriously jeopardize your relationship with him.
But it's what he needs. He desperately needs help, as soon as possible. Because he's almost certainly not going to get better by himself - not soon, at any rate. And there's certainly a chance that he may hurt himself seriously in the meantime.
You need support, too. This sort of thing is incredibly hard to deal with; I was in college when it happened to me, and it was bad *then*. Since you're just starting high school, it's probably going to be much harder for you.
So it would be a good idea to talk to your parents about seeing a professional therapist yourself, at least for a little while.
I'm sorry that you're in this situation. It's a terrible thing to deal with - I still have bad memories of my own similar experience. At this point, you need to ask for and accept the help of adults, because the situation is far too dangerous to handle on your own. As I learned, to my regret, many years ago.
I hope everything turns out for the best. Good luck.
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OK so i like this guy..hes 16-17 and I'm 13. Is that a big difference?? He has a car and everything..do guys like not like younger girls? I like him SOOO much!! He's like perfect!! What do I do?? Thanks!! (link)
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I'm sorry, but while an age difference of four years isn't much - I'm about that much older than my wife - at your age, it puts something HUGE between you.
In most states, he could be arrested for statutory rape for being with you. That would mean he'd go to jail. If and when he got out, he'd almost certainly be listed publicly as a sexual predator. He would have a lot of difficulty finding work, going to school, or finding a place to live.
I don't think you want that for him.
And to tell you the truth, at 13 you're too young for what a 17-year-old boy wants. He'd probably want sex, and you're still halfway between being a child and being an adult. You're still growing (and so is he, although he's further along than you are). You're not ready. Your body might be able to get pregnant - which would be a HUGE disaster - but your mind is nowhere NEAR ready. You need to give yourself time.
I know it's hard, but try to be patient. This is almost certainly just a crush. "Just" a crush is kind of a stupid thing for me to say, though. I know how enormous a crush can be at 13. It can be your whole world.
I remember.
Please try to find a way to be patient, though. Honestly, if you ended up with him, it WOULDN'T be perfect. You'd be disappointed, because you're really not ready.
But when you ARE ready, I hope it's wonderful for you.
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hey~
i likethis guy but i havent gotten a chance to talk to him sence school let out, and hes really sweet and i know he likes me because he asked me out but i was with someone at the time. well now i tryed calling him but i didnt get throught. and i really dont know what to do :-( HELP!!!! (link)
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Be patient, and try again. Or email him, if you have his address. But try to relax; if you seem too desperate, you could scare him off.
If his phone is disconnected, you can look him up online, check with any of his friends that you know, or look in the phone book. Just take it easy, and don't worry.
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My boyfriend and I have been having sex since late June. Last night he asked me if i got it yet ( i got it june 30th, after we first started to) and i said no but im not worried about it im going to wait a few days because my comes so randomly. and it never comes on the same date. he is yelling at me about he knows he asked girls, but i think i know mmy fuckin period and a bunch of girls periods come different times and late. he is really stressing me out, should i go to a clinic to see or buy a test now? (link)
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Home tests are quite accurate, and very easy to take. They're also not expensive. So if you're worrying about it at all, there's no reason not to take one.
I have to say, though, that your boyfriend really doesn't seem to be treating you properly. He has no right to yell at you.
I also hope that you're using birth control - preferably, two different kinds. The pill or patch plus condoms are probably the safest and most effective combination. Of course, it's important to take your pills regularly - and to read the instructions on the condoms and use them correctly, too.
Good luck!
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A lot of my friends smoke. This means that whenever I hang around with them they are smoking and they often offer me cigarettes. I have always said no because I have my priciples but recently I have been smoking with them. I found that it was quite relaxing and I liked it. I really don't want to do it anymore but I enjoy it and as my friends do it, it's tempting. How do I stop before I get too addicted? (link)
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You just stop. There's no other way.
I mean, no one here is going to be able to come over when you're hanging out with your friends, and pull the cigarette out of your mouth, you know? There really isn't any magic way to quit.
I'm sure you know what smoking does to you. But at your age, it probably doesn't matter. Getting cancer in ten or twenty years, or having a massive heart attack...you might know intellectually that you're running that risk, you might even *believe* it. But you won't really feel it where it *counts*, in your gut, until it's too late.
Unfortunately when you're a teenager there's something in your brain that keeps telling you that you're immortal and invulnerable. It's a hell of a shock when you find out the truth...that you can be hurt, and you can die. Not off in some mythical far future, but SOON. Sooner than you think.
I'm old - that's why I call myself The Old One. But I can tell you that inside I feel almost EXACTLY the same as I did when I was your age. And I honestly can't BELIEVE how fast the time went. It goes faster and faster the older you get. I guarantee that you are going to be AMAZED at how quickly you reach 20, 30, 40, etc.
In ten or twenty or thirty years, I really don't think you want to be hearing a doctor say "I'm sorry, but it's inoperable. There's nothing more we can do", or "The damage to your heart is extensive - you're going to have to take it very easy from now on." (assuming you're alive to hear anything at all, of course).
If that happens, you'll hate your teen-age self and your friends like you've never hated anything before. But it will be too late to do anything about it. You'd give anything to have a time machine and go back to warn yourself...but that's not possible.
So, if you want to, consider this a warning by proxy from your future self: find a way to stop smoking. Not only for your own sake, but for your children, if you ever have any.
One more thing: I hope you don't have to give up your old friends in order to avoid smoking, but if it comes down to a choice between the two, I hope you'll do the smart thing.
You can find new friends a lot more easily than you can find new lungs or a new heart.
Good luck.
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im goin out with sumone right now and have been for 3 months he askes me if im ready to have sex but i have no clue what to say because im scared and at a young age (14) my body feels like its ready but i dont know if i am he says hes ok with whatever my choice is!i want to but i dont know if its the right moment sometimes?what should i do go on with it and deal with everything or forget about it???please i need some advice? (link)
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You're right. Your body is ready. Not only for sex, but for pregnancy.
Your mind, however, almost certainly ISN'T ready. Right now you're turning from a child into a woman. You'd be amazed at all the changes that your body and mind will go through in the next few years. For example, did you know that your brain is not finished growing? You'll be developing in all sorts of ways throughout your teen years.
So don't screw it up. You're really not ready for sex at this stage. Your boyfriend will pressure you for sex, but I can tell you this: giving him what he wants won't make him love you, or guarantee that you two will stay together. In fact, he'll be more likely to leave you and look for new girls to score with.
And if you get pregnant, you can be SURE that he won't be able to support you, either emotionally or financially. Even if he wanted to. The sad truth is, almost EVERY girl who gets pregnant at your age is ditched by the baby's father almost immediately.
Boys are awfully immature at 14-15. Girls tend to mature a little faster. So you need to be the smart one. Wait.
Believe me, if you wait it will be a lot better.
And if he isn't willing to wait for you both to grow up a bit more, he doesn't really love you enough. There are lots of boys out there who will value you for YOU, not just as a sex object.
I wish you a wonderful first time (in a few years), and a happy life.
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do u think my ex-boyfriend would get jealuse if I hag out with a guy that likes me and flrits with me in frount of him? (link)
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Almost certainly; it's only natural. Wouldn't YOU be jealous if your positions were reversed?
I don't know if you want to make him jealous, or if you're trying to spare his feelings. But if you ARE trying to make him jealous, I'd suggest thinking twice. That sort of thing rarely works out the way you would want it to.
Life has a funny way of backfiring.
Good luck!
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Alright, first some background info. Im 16 and im a virgin, never done anything sexual with a guy. Ok now..my period is a week late for some reason and my mom is freaking out and asking me if ive gotten it like every 2 or 3 hours. Recently i have really cut back on like really fatty food, ive started running about a mile and half 2 or 3 times a week, and i started a job..which is a bit stressfull at times. Those things can make it come late right? Ive also felt like ive been going to get it, sore boobs, wicked bad cramps, headache that wont go away no matter if i take tylenol or not. I want to stop freaking out...so if you guy know anything that can help me out or at least help me chill my mom out..that would be fabulous. Thanks in advance. (link)
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An increased level of exercise can make a difference in your period. So can losing weight. In fact, if you lose *enough* weight, your period will probably stop altogether.
But losing that much weight is dangerous; it's a sign that you are much too thin, and is usually associated with anorexia or bulemia. I assume that you have neither.
Stress is yet another factor that can have an effect on your period.
Sore or tender breasts are a common sign of pregnancy, but since you're a virgin, we'll rule that out. :D
A week is not *terribly* late, but it IS unusual. Given the headaches, cramps, and soreness you've described, I think it would be wise to give your doctor a call. My best guess is that you're simply under a lot of stress, but you really don't want to rely on the guess of someone who writes free advice online when your health is potentially at stake.
Take the time, and see your doctor. Better safe than sorry.
Good luck!
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ok, my pubic hair is growing like outside my bikini line and it's really gross... what do i do to get rid of it besides waxing...??? please help me because it's really embaressing. (link)
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Well, you could always shave. Laser hair removal or a depilatory like Nair are also possibilities. Although of course laser hair removal is pretty expensive. On the plus side, it's pretty permanent.
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can any one advise me weather to study MBA or MCA in computer and which one has better chance in finding good job in future. (link)
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To be honest, either one is likely to see continuing demand in the future, barring a major change in society (which is, of course, a possibility).
The thing is, you're asking for a prediction of relatively fine details about the world from five years to ten years in the future or more. No one can really be sure about that at this point. And if they could, they CERTAINLY wouldn't be writing an advice column here! :D
That said, here are some things to consider:
An MBA is likely to require less ongoing study to maintain viability. The principles of business administration change much more slowly than anything to do with computers. So you won't have to spend as much time keeping up-to-date on the latest developments.
But the most important thing is this: which one do you LIKE more? Because the happier you are at what you're doing, the more successful you'll be in your career. If you're not sure how much you like these two fields, it would be a great idea to talk to professionals in each field and see if you can get a better feel for what it's ACTUALLY like.
If you're not sure how to locate professional MBAs or MCAs, both have professional organizations that you can locate through Google. Find their local branch office, and write to them explaining that you are considering getting into that field and would appreciate a chance to speak with members of their organization. They should be able to put you in touch with people who will be happy to speak to you, and perhaps even let you watch them at work.
You might even develop some professional contacts that way, which could prove very useful later on!
This does mean you'll have to make some effort, of course. But since we're talking about THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, I think the effort will be worth it - don't you?
Good luck!
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Should girls shave their vaginas? (link)
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It's totally a matter of personal choice.
There are only two possible issues to worry about. One is razor burn. The other is that really long hair can make it difficult for a partner to perform orally - long hair could go down his or her throat and make him or her gag.
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well I just got back from camping and about the second day into camping I started having to pee alot about mid afternoon. Like I'm talking literlly every 5 minutes I would go pee and right after I'd have to go again. So me and myf riends thought I had a bladder infection or something but it didn't really hurt. Then after we were done walking around we went and laid down for a bit and it went away then the next day we woke up and it started again and tehn it would go away but this day it started to urt a little at the end of peeing. not teh whole thing. We were drinking that weekend so we didn't know if it was from over drinking becuase we hadn't really had that much but when I drink alot of water it slows down a bit. But yah I'll go through a stage in teh day where I can't stop peeing and then it will slow down but it still hurts a little. So I don't really know what it is so if any one knows or had this hapen to them and knows how to cure it that'd be great. (link)
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There's no way for anyone to be sure what your problem is here; you need to be seen by a doctor. Believe me, you DEFINITELY don't want to take a chance on long-term bladder damage!
Your symptoms do sound like a bladder infection, in which case one thing you can do is drink cranberry juice. All cranberry juices are blends, because cranberry juice alone is too bitter to drink, so you should look for something without added sugar and with as high a percentage of cranberry juice as possible.
But you might not even HAVE a bladder infection, in which case cranberry juice won't help you at all. And even if you do, it may be serious enough to require antibiotics.
So please be smart and see your doctor.
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