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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
Long story short-
I dated my ex (my first love)for more than 2 years, got engaged, were soon to be married , did crazy things together which i might never do with anyone else.Then we hit a bad patch. His family thought I was not good enough for him, etc.We broke up. He came back, I took him.He left to a different country, we continued to be in the relationship. In one year after he left, his behavior changed, he met new people, started ignoring me etc. I called it off. He comes back to me,asks me to marry him. He promised to behave himself,to come for me in a few months and get married. I gave it one more chance, he goes back, same old behaviour. Lied to me, ignored me etc. I called it off. And moved on.I Found someone and am getting married in a month. Now he is back again after an year, and is begging me to marry him. He seems like he has changed. The arrogance is gone, sends me texts all through the day and in the night trying to convince me.I am in a fix. I know my ex is all wrong, he will go back on his word .
The one I am going to marry now is a research scholar and all that, more mature, good nature d ,trustworthy, respects me, families are happy,but he is not as interesting, spontaneous, passionate as my ex.I respect him , but I am not as passionate about him as I was towards my ex. Will I regret my decision to marry him? I'm scared . What do I do?
"Happily ever after doesn't happen because you wish it so. It only happens when both parties put in maximum effort to make it so"~~~a quote I found.
All relationships take work to make something wonderful of it. The first guy wasn't willing to.
The second guy sounds like someone who will be willing to put in equal effort to work on the marriage. So he does sound more promising.
Ask yourself why you agreed to marry him? Did you ever feel some kind of chemistry with him in the beginning, and just don't feel it now? If so, you were being carried by the NRE, new relationship energy, that feeling of your head in the clouds, and heart doing somersaults. However NRE wears off after a few months or even up to a year and what you're left with is the true amount of passion and chemistry that will always be there.
If you seriously think that you and he don't match in the pheromone connection and there is a mismatch there, you need to have an honest talk with the fiance. There is something to be said about having too high a standard or high expectations. There is also a chance that while one of you may be willing to settle for a life time commitment to someone who is not your sexual equal including chemistry, the other will always be unhappy because they do not feel fulfilled.
I believe there are two components for a stable foundation of a marriage, One is being best friends, and the other being sexual equals and that includes the passion felt between each other.
On a scale of 1-10, will every day feel like a 10?
No thats unrealistic. When one is ill, tired, stressed, preoccupied, or even as in my case, 2nd husband and I finding in astrological charts a period of time where both of us would not be feeling as passionate or desiring of sex...the time passed and we were back to normal. first husband i married at 20 when i didnt know any better, he and i were sexual mismatches from the beginning. he didn't ever give me orgasms, his kiss was like kissing a brother, and he was also not happy because he was unfulfilled no matter what we tried, couple counseling therapy, watching porno, sex toys, studying books...
Sometimes all the effort will make no difference if there isn't something there.
Only you can know if your situation just needs a little more effort from each other to make it great. Or if there is nothing there to begin with.
Many have married for stability and security onlyinstead of passion and romance as well added in. And they are still married. They may be best friends and both have low libidos and have been willing to not worry about lack of passion. Yes, they may love each other. But I know couples like that, they are more like sister/brother living together for convenience sake financially. Siblings can of course love each other. If you are willing to have that kind of love in a marriage, then go for it. If you want the kind of love where where you both can say: I'm so in love with you, so much a part of you that I find life is more enjoyable just having you in it, I can't stand being apart from you, I find myself craving your looks, compliments, touch, and never tire of it, then either you too have been too busy planning a wedding and forgot to put those kinds of priorities first, or you both have to admit, it just isn't there.
So yes, there is a chance you may regret marrying. So have a heart to heart talk with him.
You can write me again if you have anything that comes up from your talk that you need advice on. I've given you something to think about but the decision is entirely yours to make. Good luck!
Okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 days but we have known each other since I was 14 years old and I have no idea what to get the boy for Christmas . He is 25 if that helps any. I talked to his brother to see what he is into and he told me that he liked music and loved to read and liked sports but I don't have much money to spend either please consider i am on a $40.00 a week budget .
Gift cards was a good idea.
If however you want the gift to be more personal, there are a couple other options. Anything created by you or put together by you will have that personal touch...because you put the effort and time into something shows how special he is because buying a ready made gift is too easy.
If he likes music, and you know what types he likes or you have similar tastes, compiling and burning a music CD for him would make a wonderful gift. Add to that a container of homemade Christmas treats.
Allrecipes.com will have all sorts of things that are easy to make. If you choose treat making, let me know, I know a couple of unique easy to do treats that don't require baking.
Buying a unique Christmas mug at a 2nd handstore, filling it with homemade treats is another easy inexpensive thing I did one year for all extended family gifts cus it was a lean year.
If you know how to knit or crochet, make him a scarf in his favorite colors. Find out from brother if you dont already know. Some yarns have 3 or 4 colors that are all complimentary in the same yarn bundle. I also do homemade jewelery and have made manly choker necklaces for several boyfriends and now husband in the past. Craft stores will sell the pendant to go on it, like a cross, a dolphin, etc. You'd have to know what genre is his favorite to read. And if you're creative at writing, and love it, create a short story, put it on a chip, take to copy center to have them print on consequtively on both sides of paper and holepunch so you can put it into one of those paper colored binders.
Or have a photographer friend take some glamour shots of you and use the best one to print up and put in a nice frame to give as a gift. Although thats something more for people who have been dating longer, however you know how important you are to each other in such a short time
I'm so confused whether my crush likes me or not! I've searched dozens of websites and I'm still not so sure! So I'm going to explain how our relationship is right now.
1. He's really sweet and funny! Always making jokes and making me laugh all the time
2. We talk about the most randomness stuff ever and we're so comfortable with each other to talk about the most difficult subjects
3.We share food and drinks! Every time at lunch we trade drinks, share a cookie, etc.
4. IDK but I guess he's with me all the time and always wants to be with me
For example when the teacher made new seating arrangements he personally asked the teacher to sit right next to me!
5.He smiles and laughs a lot with me more than with his usual friends! And he always makes the dumbest excuses to be near me
For example "Oh I'm going to sit here because the sun is blinding me" ( He's saying this when it was cloudy)
So I know it definitely looks like he likes me but I'm not really sure and should I ask him out?
He is definitely showing all the signs that he is attracted to you and wants to be with you. And you enjoy conversation with each other. You're at stage 2 of a possible relationship. Stage one is attraction and showing that interest by finding excuses to be near, etc... Stage 2 is beginning conversation with to see if you are still interested in the person and have things in common to talk about, stage 3 is to start dating to find out even more about each other through spending more time together. It need not be formal dates like out to movies or to dinner but just time hanging out in each others presence. If all goes well in this stage, deeper feelings for each other will develop and you both mutually agree to become a committed couple, still dating but stage 4 is making the commitment to each other as you're no longer dating to find out more about...you know enough now to know you don't want anyone else, just them.
So someone has to ask the other out. He may be overly polite and leaving it up to you to make that move so he's not pressuring you. Or he could be a bit shy about things like that. So ask if he'd like to spend some time with you away from school. It doesn't have to be an official date to the movies type thing, just ask if he'd like to come hang at your house and maybe talk, watch something on tv, play a board game...just think of anything that you have an interest in and invite him along.
I just now had a dream that I died. I don't know how I had it, but yesterday I was talking about death and stuff with my friend. Do you think that's how I had the dream?
The dream felt so real. I was so scared when I woke up and I really don't want to experience that again. Any advice on how to not have it again?
It could have been triggered by focusing on the topic.
More often than not though, what we see in a dream is just symbolism for something else, usually that pertains to our own life in particular.
Death is part of the natural cycle of life. Death makes rooms for something new to be birthed. In dreams it symbolizes the start of something new, completion of, something finished in life...it doesn't not literally mean you are going to experience mortal death.
Perhaps one stage of your life of experience and learning is almost complete and you are about to experience something new, like when college students experience leaving home and being out on their own, thats a big change in someones life.
The dream could also be telling you not to be afraid of the change, and wanting to stay in your comfort zone. Change can feel scary, simply cus whats coming is still the unknown, but once there, it's not scary at all, but calm and peaceful like Heaven.
If you can learn to embrace the symbolism in your dream and not fear how it played out, you likely won't have repeat dreams. There's no way I know of to prevent a certain dream. Our subconscious mind decides what is the important message for you to get at a particular point in time and will weave it into your dreams. Resisting and fearing the dream could possibly bring on more of these dreams because your mind is so focused on it. So the best thing is to look at it as a symbol or message to you and not fear it.
i hope so becuase i dont think i can use it anymore becuase of the answers on how to ban criticism seriously what is the expiration date for this website i would like to know and please no criticism not even helpful criticism .
If you want to know if Advicenators has an expiration date, you'll have to ask the creators of it. Sorry, I wouldn't know.
Hello,
First off, I apologize for the long question.
So, I'm thirteen, and I'm FTM.
I came out to my parents almost a month ago. When I came out to my dad, he asked me why I can't accept how I was made in the womb. And whenever I refer to myself as a "boy" or a "he" my dad gets frustrated and tells me I'm a girl and I need to shut up.
My mom wasn't really accepting either. She said that I'm trying too hard to fit into a certain gender role. And she said she could never accept me as a boy because she has always thought of me as her daughter.
No one will ever understand what I feel inside when I'm called a "girl" and a "she." My mom says what people call me shouldn't really matter, but it does. I hate it so much. I don't feel like I can have a good life until I'm accepted as a guy.
I cut myself for a while, partly because I hated that I'm stuck in a girl's body. I have considered starving myself too, but I won't because it'll just get me into the mental hospital again.
I know this question is rather vague . . . but I just want some advice on how to deal with this. It's so hard. I can't stand that my parents won't accept me. And my gender dysphoria gets worse everyday. I don't know what to do. I hate my body so much. Maybe I should just . . . give up.
Hon, I went looking on the web for Transgender teens support groups. I only just started looking and came across a girl named Jazz. She was born a boy and by time she entered school, the parents knew she had to live out her life as a girl. Wonderful storys of media following her life from age 5/6 to early teens. You aren't the only one dear. Maybe watching this will help you feel better about who you are and perhaps you can get your parents to watch some of the interviews of siblings and parents, all supportive. Since this portrays about the age you are now...this is a good story for the parents to follow. Hopefully they will come around and be supportive of you being allowed to live out your life as a boy.
http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.org/
There's also a facebook page. Do a search for:
Jazz A Corner For Transgender Kids
and it will come up on Facebook.
Heres another site:
http://www.transgenderchild.net/resources/support-groups/
http://www.lauras-playground.com/aboutus.htm
Dont let that name fool you. this looks to be a serious site with even a crisis and suicide intervention team because of the fact that transgenders are the highest suseptible of all. It has forums where you can talk to others who are TG.
i understand criticism now and i really cant stand it its very offensive i remember in 2003 when my stupid younger brother used to criticize my reading and call me stupid and boss me around like the little smartmouth he was but he has already passed away but saying things like puncutation is sort of calling someones grammer stupid which is really igroant to do some people do that becuase they wont expect that their grammer is great or becuase theyre stupid and wont admit it that makes me angry seriously you shouldnt do those things anyway how can you punish those who criticize you to make you feel bad so it might teach them a lesson .
Sounds like you have some long term anger about comments directed at you and it sounds like it may be from more than just your brother.
There are many very intelligent people who can not write correct sentences or spell worth a darn.
I am married to such a man, My 2nd husband.
We met in on line dating so he had to write to me to get my interest. He had others spell check and fix what he had to say as it was a very long letter. When We met he explained his problem, He has a lighter case of Autism, where a person can not handle too much sensory input and that comes out for him as being writing challenged. He is always asking me to spell something, sometimes every 2 minutes, though i've just recently spelled it, asking me again, even though I am busy typing answers on advicenators and lose my train of thought. I get frustrated sometimes but never get angry at him. I understand it is a challenge to write but he is an intelligent man and thats one of the things I love about him, his wisdom and knowledge.
If there are people in your life that ignorant who would constantly criticize you, then you need another set of friends.
There is no way to ban anything negative in this world, be it criticism, bigotry, bullying, etc...
The reason it is there is because everyone has been given a free will. Without free will, we'd all be robots following the demands of God.
Free will is a good thing...I am glad i have been given the opportunity to make my own choices.
However the flip side is that many people make choices with their free will that hurt others as you have been hurt.
No one can force them to change their ways. As soon as punishing as a way of forcing someone to change comes into the picture, free will is no longer there for the individual because someone wants them to measure up to what they want that person to be like right at that moment.
ONe more thing to help you understand why theres such a wide range of humans from very mature to very immature and everything in between, as souls, we are all at different levels of learning. Some are brand new souls and thats like being a kindergartner who doesnt know anything yet. Plus there are the souls who have spent several times coming back to earth living anouther life to learn and grow more mature. So we have souls who are at a wide level of how they act. Some have learning to become very loving, gentle and forgiving, slow to anger, very understanding, while others choose to exercise their right to do as they wish with their will and choose to not change or grow and cause trouble instead, hurt others, rebel, retaliate, carry anger inside and dump it on others.
Sometimes these awful experience are there in our life for us to learn and grow from them as happened to me. First marriage was to a man who was verbally abusive and we were a family active in our church. Makes no difference where you find such people. I stayed with him 30 yrs before I got the courage to leave. I wanted something better for me. It was miserable and I was having physical illness and problems occuring because of the emotional strain. I had to decide to leave to keep myself healthy. That kind of abuse is not good to come across on a daily basis. I also had to learn to forgive and not carry any bitterness. If not for the ex who mistreated me, i would not have grown stronger as a person or had an opportunity to really forgive, not just say the words.
I hope that in time, you will also come to a place of being ready to learn what you can from your experience and actually grow from it instead of finding ways to retaliate and punish.
Peace be to your soul.
My friend from dance class introduced me to her stepbrother who I really got along with. We ended up going on a few dates together and then became a couple a few weeks after. All of his ex's have either been emotionally unstable or over weight or just horrible people so I feel like because i'm average weight and relatively normal im a bit of a novelty to him and thats why he's fallen so fast. I'm unsure of how to feel about everything! He has already started saying he loves me and I feel alot of pressure to say it back even though I dont feel the same. When we first got together I was attracted to him and we got on really well and I really cared about him, those feelings just having developed into love. If this was the only thing it'd be a bit easier but i'm the first girl he's ever introduced to certain members of his family and its a really big deal for him. I dont know what to do, please help.
Back to the beginning, when you first met you were attracted. The thing that messed this all up was his confessing he loves you. Thats a big dating no-no to say that too soon because it usually scares the other person away and they feel awkward for not feeling the same way.
He can't possibly know enough about you in depth to really be sure of his love. The love he has at this point is surface level stuff, sound of your voice, your laugh or smile, your looks, mannerisms, how you carry yourself, but thats not enough to ever base a real true love on that can stand the test of time.
So have a talk with him. Tell him what you told us. "When we first got together I was attracted to you and we got on really well and I really found I cared about you, but those feelings just have not developed into love yet." So lets take this slower and enjoy us being at the attraction level and give love a chance to develop so theres no pressure.
Communication is very important in any relationship. So learn how to communicate well your feelings to him.
I've known him for 5 months. He's an incredibly sweet, kind, caring, and genuine guy. He's older than me and lives far away. My parents don't care about the age difference but don't believe that he has a good enough job for someone of his age. They think that I can't possibly know him (because of the distance) and don't know what kind of family he comes from etc.
He's come to visit me multiple times since we met. These visits are really expensive because he has to get a hotel. If I were to visit him it would be a lot cheaper because I could stay at his apartment, or even at my friends apartment which is 45 mins away from his.
I'm 18 years old but am still dependent on my parents. They said that if I go visit him they will stop paying for my university. However he can't come visit me anytime soon and I really miss him. They took my passport and think that I don't know but I realized it was missing. So I'd have to confront them and ask for my passport back.
I don't know what to do.
I have seen you write in before. This is a very specific scenerio.
As I recall, plenty of us said that basically the parents have you cornered, like being between a rock and a hard place. Although you are an adult age wise, you can not take care of yourself financially yet. No matter if adult or not, when living under the parents roof, the usual custom is that their rules and wishes go, no matter what. If you don't like it, then quit the school idea, go live with your girlfriend and get a job. Then you can do as you wish. There is nothing else you can do.
I am 24 years old and my boyfriend that I have been dating for about 3 days now told me he loved me with the bottom of his soul . I have known this guy since High school if that helps any. I asked him how can you love me that much if we have only been dating 3 days he said he felt this way about me ever since we were in High school but I was to busy dating everyone else and then he asked me to the senior prom and I turned him down I guess because I was still trying to get over my ex at the time and I was scared of getting hurt again . Is it possible for him to love me with the bottom of soul like he says he does when we have only been dating 3 days even though we have known each other since High school and I don't understand why don't feel the same way he does about him as he does about me why is that ?
Answer to is it possible to feel that way about someone even if dating a few days?
Yes it is possible but the possibility is a very slight one. There just aren't many males who know exactly what they are attracted to in a female while yet in grade school or high school and feel the same in later years as an adult.
My husband is such an example. He tells me over and over how as an 8 yr old boy he would lay awake at night imagining what his wife would look like someday and her personality...not guessing but actual want of what he pictured in his mind. He dated, married and later in life divorced, and then found me and says I am the one he always dreamed of.
We met over internet. Spent an entire week of talking every night, then met once, next week too busy for us both so just more calls, then we see each other 3 days in a row, on the 4th date being with him, he told me he loved me. Thats usually not the thing to do so early in a relationship. Usually spooks and scares the other person away.
However in our case, even tho I was surprised and a bit leery at first, we both were mature adults who had been married before, done some dating and both knew exactly what we were looking for and we were exactly what the other had been needing and wanting.
Theres the fact you didnt date in highschool or right out of highschool. He didn't catch your interest then. So I am wondering if he changed somehow and thats why you agreed to date him now. Are you attracted to him in any way at all. If not at all, you should not be leading him on. If you are attracted to him but just don't feel any love, thats fine...that takes some time to develop if the chemistry is there for you both.
Take the time to get to know him.
You both need to discover what hobbies and goals you have in common, morals, hopes, dreams, beliefs and then personality traits about each other. Thats what time spent dating should be accomplishing.
One last thing, if somehow without dating, you and he have spent lots of time together hanging as friends, and really do know each other pretty good, and after a handful of months or yr or two, you have not developed any feelings for him, then likely there is not enough chemistry between you. Sometimes only one of two people are attracted to the other not both. Keep in mind, a healthy long term relationship does require having this romantic spark/chemistry or it will not be a happy one.
I think i might actually have feelings for my cousins husband I don't know what to do help .
Feelings that are romantic rather than just platonic love for family members can happen but should not be acted upon. A likely reason is that you see some qualities in him, that you consciously or subconsciously like and want in a guy and so you feel awkward when its cousins husband.
Analyze what it is specifically that you found attractive enough to evoke feelings in you.
For example, perhaps it is his laugh, smile, fact that he has a soothing voice, is friendly, outgoing, extremely patient person. Never raise his voice, and always has a kind and supportive comment for everyone in his life. Those are wonderful qualities. Write them down and when you find a guy to date, see if he has some of these qualities. When I was young, before I married, I came across all sorts of men that captured my interest and some aspect of them, one or two caught my interest enough to have a crush. Some were barely older than me but had girlfriends, and then there were married men, teachers, husbands at church, guys I worked with, all unavailable.
It is not surprising to find a married man attractive because after all, there must have been some pretty good qualities about him to catch the interest of some female who snapped him up. JUst keep this one in the cousin in law catagory.
This is kinda weird but am I the only one to notice this? It seems like some people have specific natural scents. I've only noticed it in my girlfriend and my cousin. As long as I could remember, my cousin has had a specific scent that I can recognize. I can pick up a bracelet, and by the smell of it, I can tell it's his. (This actually happened) Regardless of soap, cologne, laundry soap. I've asked him about it. He said that only one other person had noticed it. The same thing with my girlfriend. Regardless of her body wash or axe spray that she loves, she ALWAYS has a specific distinctive scent that I notice. Especially when I let her wear a jacket or she comes to my house. I can tell she was wearing the jacket, and Ii could tell she was sitting on my bed. These are the only people I've noticed it in as well as myself. I could dip my hands in alcohol and scrub them. Let them dry off and they will have a specific scent. Luckily my hands, my cousin, and gf's scents are really good. Can someone explain this? Has this ever happened to anyone else? It's really weird
Its been explained what it is already by someone else. I am not able to pick up peoples scents but My husband and his daughter can.
At some point, you will also come across people who you dont like their natural scent, an important thing to listen to when picking a mate.
Apparently I passed the sniff test when I was dating my 2nd husband cus his daughter came up to me and sniffed around my head and told her dad I smell okay. I have the same pheromones as they did. If I hadn't she might have tried to convince dad that I wasn't a good choice. LOL
Please don't think I'm a bad person. I know this is such an awful question to ask and I would never ask it if I was adopting a baby. I don't really see the difference between a baby you have and a baby you adopt, but imagine that you were adopting an older child. Like a pre-teen? I'm asking because that's the situation I may be in.
I want to love this kid more than my life. I want to take this child who has never been loved by anyone before and shower him with love. I want to love him so much that I would die for him without even having to think about it. However, what would it say about me to love him as much as my other kids who have been with me since I held their little naked bodies in my arms shortly after their births? What would it say about me if I didn't?
As I'm writing this, I realize that it sounds much worse than it did in my head. I don't blame you if you think I'm a jerk, but while I feel capable of loving this kid as much as any other, I wonder if it will say very little about my relationship with my other kids. What would it say if a new kid could come along an automatically mean as much to me as they did? What would it say about me if I took this kid in and didn't give him the love he needs so badly and has been deprived of all his life?
Also, I find myself treating the kids differently. For example, one of my sons was going to get a dirt bike for Christmas, but I've been wondering if I should get him one or not. They can be so dangerous and I'd biting my nails every time he used it, worrying that he'd get hurt. However, I when I thought about getting the new kid a dirt bike, I didn't have a problem with it. I don't want him to get hurt either. I'd rather anything happen to myself than that, but I'm not as nervous about him having one.
Tell me what you think of this situation. Really imagine yourself being in this situation yourself and give me complete honesty. If you want to call me a jerk, go ahead, but please, give me some direction. Thanks in advance.
Just so you have more positive feedback, no you're not a horrible person for thinking that. I agree with everything adviceman said. I was going to say all exactly the same.
I will add though that being a mother of three, I know that the love I had for my babies as I first held each one has morphed and grown over the years as I experience life together with them, seeing their preferances and talents coming to the surface. So what you feel for your own is not the same as it was in the beginning.
With the adoptive son, you will be taking him in without the years of bonding and experiences that you have with the others, so you'll have to be patient, for those feelings will develop in time.
Right now, if I were adopting a kid, it would be with a loving and compassionate heart one human has for another, the mothers heart would not yet be there, be will develop over time. It doesn't need to take long but will come naturally as you go through daily life together. The loving and compassion will have deep caring and nurturing added to it and all of a sudden you realize that you love him like a birth mother. It's not being biological birth-parent that makes one a loving parent, its all the nitty gritty that goes into the raising of a child...and that will come in time.
Right now I am grandma age and face something like that. I will be returning to be closer to my one granddaughter from my daughter. The dad is remarried and so she has a half sister but there are also two previous children of her own. Neither him nor the wife are my biological children and none of the other 3 children are tied to me that way. I watched the birth of my grand daughter and have had years to be in her life intimately. I have not have that time with the others. I do not want to leave them out and will likely occasionally have a one on one time with the grand daughter but all will be included on the grandma time for special events, trip to the fair, christmas cookie baking, etc where we create the memories and bonding together. At the moment tho, I must admit I also don't have the same grandmotherly feelings for the other grandchildren yet but that wont hold me back from going for it. Blessings to you for opening your heart and home to add one more if it works out.
So, there's this guy that I've been friends with since the beginning of the semester, he's a good friend of mine but we've been hanging out a lot lately. I can't tell, though, that if the time we've been hanging out a lot is making him and I become super close as friends or more. I'll just bullet point some things that have been happening lately.
-he texted me this past morning around 1 am asking if I was awake, I said yes and he said that he was on his way back from his hockey game, he wasn't tired at all and wanted to come up to my room to talk (we live in the same dorm) to which I told him that I wasn't there, something came up and I couldn't come back to school and he asked why, genuinely concerned
-my roommate told me when he came back from hockey, she asked if he was okay/wanted to talk because I told her about his text and he said "no, just tired, going to bed"
-I texted him the other day asking a favor of him, he said he would do it and I texted him back "thanks, you're the best" to which he replied "no, you're the best"
-he will come up to my room unannounced, we watch tv together and chat about life but when there is silence, it isn't weird and I'm not trying to think of other things to talk about, we both just sit there and do whatever, I'll clean and he'll be on his phone or he'll be finding something on netflix for us to watch while I make us something to eat
-we are making plans to hang out over break because we'll miss each other, even though he lives an hour from me
-he texted me once and asked if I was back in the dorm because he needed something out of his room, I said no but my roommate is and he said "nah, it's all good"
Those are just a few instances that I can think of off the top of my head, I also just wanted to preface that he does talk to me about this girl that he's been "talking to" and how she said she wants to wait because she's never been in a committed relationship before so he said that he'll wait for her but he can't promise her that he'll still want her when she's ready, he used the phrase "she's on the back burner, but I'm willing to add more pots to the stove" and as sluttish as that sounds, it's just him saying that he will date her when she's ready and if he is still interested but if something else comes up and he's interested in that, he won't say no. That is something that makes me doubt that he does, he talks to me about another girl.
So, what do you guys think?
Some people date more just for the social aspect, having someone to have fun with, do things with.
Others take it more seriously and are studying different personalitys to see who they might want for a lifelong partner someday. And yet others have no drive to search for the right one, but if one falls into their lap as they date and they discover they have deep feelings for that person, then they will commit.
A good point is his honesty:At least he is being honest about where he stands with the other girl instead of keeping her a secret. What he reveals show he is willing to commit and just that she's not ready.
The only problem right now i see that you face is if he does commit to you, will he still be secretly thinking about and imagining the other girl he can't have, so tho commited to you physically being there, will his heart be commited elsewhere. Many get sucked into believing the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence but spending ones life looking over the fence means you are not investing time into your own garden.
So...what you are looking for is what he is investing into your relationship that show he has left behind any thoughts of the other garden...err girl. LOL
Bringing up a past girlfriend just in the telling of a story...like the strangest halloween costume you ever saw someone wear was hers. So she naturally comes up in conversation. But if he is still talking about all her qualities, and what he misses about her, then his heart is still engaged with her, regardless if she feels anything back.
The path of dating and relationships often has many broken hearts. But in effort to protect their hearts, some people build walls around their heart, others never take a chance with someone, both are ways to ensure they never get hurt.
It sure sounds like he finds alot of things that draw him to wanting to be with you and not even interact with the roommate for ordinary help things. Perhaps He's still in the 'checking you out' stage and not sure yet if this relationship has possibilities of being something more.
Friendship is an important base for a healthy relationship but so is having chemistry/that romantic spark together. You did not mention having any romantic desires in him nor him towards you. That will be an important aspect if this is to go from friendship relationship to a committed couple relationship. Is there that sexual draw and desire to want to touch and kiss? If you feel that, the thing is to find out if he feels that too and he may not make the move first to find out, simply because he has such an interest in the other girl yet. But she's not in front of him now or in his life right now so the memory of her can fade, especially if there is something to capture his heart elsewhere.
Here's where the risk part comes in, if you are willing to take the chance of being hurt if he rejects you as anything more than just friend and goes back to the other. Step it up by leaving hints, in things you say to him. Guys are as vane as women, just not as obvious so being complimented on looks, traits personality traits is very important in them gauging what effect they have on you and how important he is to you.
We all would rather be with someone who lets us know they appreciate us rather than not saying anything at all.
Next, words aren't enough to prove there is a romantic or sexual draw there. Words are important but are you willing to snuggle, hold hands kiss and flirt by touch. This flirting is not to draw attention that you exist in this world...he's already there, its to let him know that he is romantically and sexually appealing to you. Those two actions should make the difference for him to decide if what he has with you is much more special.
So to not be too blatant about the flirting part to start, heres a link to an article about cute innocent ways to touch a guy...I like the one about pretending to pick an imaginary eyelash off his face.
http://www.wikihow.com/Touch-a-Guy
Either way I look at it, you have something to lose if you do nothing. But on the off chance there is a romantic attraction and he was just holding off on showing that to you, it's worth trying something to see if there is one. Good luck.
i was wondering that i mean the classics such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs the Lion King the Jungle Book Peter Pan the Little Mermaid and Aladdin still do but the rest such as the Rescuers the Black Cauldron All Dogs go to Heaven Little Nemo Adventures in Slumberland the Rescuers Down Under a Troll in Cenetral Park the Princess and the Goblin the Secret of Nimh the Pebble and the Penguin and the Swan Princess and Ferngully the Last Rainforest dont becuase when you mention those films people dont know what youre talking about instead they think its something like Shrek How to Train Your Dragon Madagascar Epic Toy Story Kung Fu Panda and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs those films have more recognition then the orginal ones why is that .
You do realize that these animated films aren't made just for kids and teens anymore. The film writers now plan to make it interesting enough to capture the attention of the parents and other adults and lots of the humor in it is subtle stuff just for adults to hold their attention. Its all about making more money. Adults are the ones with the money to buy these animated films for the kids.
I think that some films just capture the attention of the adults better than others and those sell better and the ones that are selling get more ad time and recognition cus they're just bring in more money. I could be wrong but its a good guess.
I have not heard of a few you mentioned but have seen most. While I like others like Tangled cus Rapunzel was always one of my favorite fairy tales, and I like the recent Turbo simply cus of its message to dream big, and its cute, there are some I can watch over and over like Ferngully. Maybe its part, the characters, like real actors have more developed personalities in that movie for me, i happen to like fairies, forests, the outdoors and am all for preserving forests. So that strikes a chord in me. Then theres movies like Monsters Inc. and the more recent sequel that I can't say why I like them, perhaps just because the story line and concept of going into kids rooms to capture their screams was such an interesting concept and plot well thought out. Just great cus its nothing like any of the other animated film plots. Maybe it boils down to personal taste and what strikes a chord with a particular adult.
i do the funniest question i have asked was where online can you give a tv program low ratings the programs i was refering to were Grimm and Once Upon a Time Grimm however is making effort so need to cancel that show and Once Upon a Time can get as stupid as they please but i never watched Once Upon a Time in Wonderland anyway if you read that question do you somewhat find it funny
Not sure which previous question or posting you're refering to but yes there are some comments i might chuckle at. Some where the writing skills are so bad that I apologize but try to interpret best i can.
Others have brights spots in them that are heart warming for me to read.
And yet others horrify me and make my heart ache for the person writing me regarding what they are suffering or going through in life.
Its a mixed bag of emotions. Happy Holiday season to you!
Me in this guy are both teenagers and we dated for a few days and them we had to break up because something SERIOUS happened then we got back together for about 3 weeks. we broke up. he was the sweetiest guy ever to me I really loved him and I could tell that he loved me. There is something that you can describe what you see in someone but the places they take you when you are with them are just magical. It's been a week now and I'm not really with another guy but he is comforting me with him. I've cried everyday for him. i'll right an I Miss You message but I get to nervous to send it. why am I hurting so bad over him. im a teen I should move on but I cant im hurting
Lots of teens feel the pressure to be dating, to be part of a couple cus 'its the thing to do, everybodys doing it, and it makes them feel normal, it also feels good to have some positive attention focused on you by the opposite sex.
With all those reasons that most teens want to be in a relationship, when one does not work, the expectations that were dashed are what hurts. While feelings can develop and a few couples can say it was love at first sight, that is usually not common for most.
So most likely you are feeling a grieving a loss of something you thought you had. People don't just grieve the death loss of a loved family member, the loss can be that of a job, a friend, etc.
I am not sure what is preventing you two from dating. the mysterious "something SERIOUS", could be just about anything. If it was how the two of you treated each other in bad ways, then I can see breaking up necessary. If it was due to unforeseen earth shaking events in his familys life...then I can see him needing time to go through his mental and emotional processes, of worry and grieving and thats not a time when its easy to have anything to give a relationship. How long was the break up? You didn't say. So I assume it was long enough for things to be put right in his family if thats what it was. So then you get back together...only 3 weeks. Then you break up again. Was it mutual, you both decided to part? Why? Did you leave him? Did he leave you? I can't tell you what to do to 'move on' if perhaps this isn't a situation where you need to move on because the problems are misunderstandings between male and female, etc.
Or did he decide to start dating another girl instead? I don;t know what to advise you. Telling me how wonderful he is and that you both had feelings for each other doesnt explain why you are not together. You are at an age where both girls and guys are going to make lots of mistakes in dating and relationships cus you just don't know anything yet. It's possible that one or both of you did some things that contributed to the splitting up but if both of you learned ways to properly deal with and improve your relationship skills, then perhaps there is still hope for the two of you. I know it seems awful to write a long letter explaining and many apologize for doing so, but perhaps the extra info. may help us here at advicenators in being able to be more helpful dear.
in case you never heard of it its a website that allows trolling spam and trash talk i once used from 2006 to 2009 in that year things got ugly on that site im glad i stopped using it but i also found its exipration date called march the third 2015 and im thrilled that its set to expire so if youre DragonflyMagic answer this question and tell me what will happen once it does but dont post any links to the actuall topix .
I am not a psychic, able to predict what will happen when something expires.
However I understand a bit about humanity and its extremes of good positives and also the ugly negative sides of it that exist. So if an outlet for the ugly negative side of humanity to be expressed is gone, the obvious conclusion would be that another path for that will eventually form, most likely in some form of media which is reachable by large amounts of population.
Why is this important to you?
i use to have a mental sickness. i think it cause me to afraid of everything. i afraid that my relationship with someone i loved would affect her. i am scared cause actually i am a famous person. i am scared of all that i had to face would affect her. i am tired of everything. so, i broke up with her. people around me always said everything is my fault. i lost my parents. i live alone. people around me always said that i would just end it. maybe this is the end.
A person born having a disposition for some sort of mental illness will always have that, it is a part of how they developed in the uterus, just like a child born without a foot is not going to be able to grow a foot later and become totally whole.
However, there are many who can live normal lives, not pestered by the problems of mental illness when they are on medication. You did not mention anything about seeing a mental health doctor and getting treatment for this. Mental illness is not a respecter of status, so whether the average Joe or a famous person or royalty, mental illness can be found in people of different status.
There are some mental illnesses which even with treatment are still very hard on relationships and dating or marriages will not survive the up and downs and unpredictability of it...no matter how much love there is for the person.
If you are scared more about what could possibly happen due to your past, and mental sickness, it is best to bring it up at the beginning of a relationship and let the lady decide if she is concerned about that fact or not. If your symptoms are severe and obvious then she already would have known something was wrong but likely not what was causing it. Breaking up if done without explanation is not a good reason and leaves her wondering what she may have done wrong.
The people who seem to surround you, whether through work or choice of friends seem to be very negative people if they are saying the stuff you say they are to you and about you. and suggesting that you end your life?? Heck, get away from them right away. Stop associating with them. They are not healthy thinking, even if they dont have mental illness or just not a diagnosed one. You need to be around positive, loving and supportive and encouraging people. We all need that. Life is hard enough with its unexpected twists and turns and hurts that come their way for all of us. Having positive people around us to help us through life is what makes it possible to go on.
But don't wait for someone to come volunteering to be a positive friend. To get a good friend, you have to 'be a gooututd friend'. Think of positive things you could do to help other people and in the process you may find you are getting the help and supportive and love you need in return.
recently apes are close to monkeys but have some similarities to humans their hands and ears but their feet and noses are different and not all humans look like apes but some do and can you tell me why that is and i know they dont evolve from each other becuase humans give birth to humans and apes give birth to apes but some humans do resemble apes would they also resemble monkeys if they had tails just like to know .
I love a questioning mind. I had questions too. If we did evolve, then what about Adam and Eve supposedly being the first humans created.
None of my questions were answered until I met my 2nd husband. He had discovered a book as a teen, called the Urantia book. Urantia is the name that planet Earth is known by in our Universe and by the Heavenly plane and the creator.
The book starts with talking about God, and Gods creations, all the different creatures, including angels and explains all the functions of each spiritual (non mortal) creation.
Then it goes into talking about the creation of the planet, exactly who was supposed to have created it and our universe. Apparently God put all the ingrediants needed for life to evolve, including the modern humans we are today. But the story shares how early on, we were more like apes and as apes unable to have enquiring minds able to wonder if there was a source, a creator, something greater than us. Over time, due to genetic differences, a farmer can tell you the same occurs with vegetable seeds he plants, some of the apes differed. Two children found they understood and knew more than any of their tribe and couldnt get along with them any more and left. They had children together and eventually as years went on, many eons, slowly man began less ape like, smarter and genetic changes occured not only to the brains ability but body too. There's no explanation why scientists havent made a link, but according to the book, there is. At one point, God decided the early forms of humans needed some guidance to help them along now that they were capable of being spiritually receptive. So thats when Adam and Eve's bodies were created as full adults and advanced souls sent into them, knowing their mission to teach. But they didn't follow the plan which was to not mix sexually with the race of humans. When they did, a different DNA was introduced that produced hybrid children because the Adam and Eve bodies were nothing like the more ape like originals evolved on the planet. Its huge book, like 4-5 inches thick. It can be found on line if this has caught your interest. Whether all of it is exactly true, I don't know. Just like the bible, the information had to pass through humans who are capable of error in interpreting what they hear or putting their own spin on something but for the most part, it does make sense and even covers the history of what really happened with Jesus, his reason for coming to earth.
http://www.urantia.org/
When it opens, the top box on left says 'read' and when you click on it you get a listing of all the chapters to click on one at a time.
It comes in 16 languages as well available in this link too.
Genetics are a strange thing. It's so unpredictable what can happen. A family can go for generations where everyone has brunette hair but somewhere way back in the family history were a couple of celtic redheads and all of a sudden someone gives birth to a child with red hair when both parents are brunette. Same for facial features, and body structure.
I have known family where one parent is white, and one black and no one can predict what the children will turn out like. One can end up being white and fair colored hair and look 100% white except for having fuller lips and maybe a slightly wider nose or maybe not. There can be a child with darker skin than the black parent, and all shades in between. Even two black parents have produced an almost white looking child just because of some of the white blood in their past that they may not even be aware of.
There is an abnormality where some humans actually have little stubs of tails. And the
people do not look like apes or monkeys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfwMjTcaz64
and the same question of human tails asked of scientists
http://www.newton.dep.anl.gov/askasci/zoo00/zoo00223.htm