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I think the guy I like likes me.
So, there's this guy that I've been friends with since the beginning of the semester, he's a good friend of mine but we've been hanging out a lot lately. I can't tell, though, that if the time we've been hanging out a lot is making him and I become super close as friends or more. I'll just bullet point some things that have been happening lately.
-he texted me this past morning around 1 am asking if I was awake, I said yes and he said that he was on his way back from his hockey game, he wasn't tired at all and wanted to come up to my room to talk (we live in the same dorm) to which I told him that I wasn't there, something came up and I couldn't come back to school and he asked why, genuinely concerned
-my roommate told me when he came back from hockey, she asked if he was okay/wanted to talk because I told her about his text and he said "no, just tired, going to bed"
-I texted him the other day asking a favor of him, he said he would do it and I texted him back "thanks, you're the best" to which he replied "no, you're the best"
-he will come up to my room unannounced, we watch tv together and chat about life but when there is silence, it isn't weird and I'm not trying to think of other things to talk about, we both just sit there and do whatever, I'll clean and he'll be on his phone or he'll be finding something on netflix for us to watch while I make us something to eat
-we are making plans to hang out over break because we'll miss each other, even though he lives an hour from me
-he texted me once and asked if I was back in the dorm because he needed something out of his room, I said no but my roommate is and he said "nah, it's all good"
Those are just a few instances that I can think of off the top of my head, I also just wanted to preface that he does talk to me about this girl that he's been "talking to" and how she said she wants to wait because she's never been in a committed relationship before so he said that he'll wait for her but he can't promise her that he'll still want her when she's ready, he used the phrase "she's on the back burner, but I'm willing to add more pots to the stove" and as sluttish as that sounds, it's just him saying that he will date her when she's ready and if he is still interested but if something else comes up and he's interested in that, he won't say no. That is something that makes me doubt that he does, he talks to me about another girl.
So, what do you guys think?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Some people date more just for the social aspect, having someone to have fun with, do things with.
Others take it more seriously and are studying different personalitys to see who they might want for a lifelong partner someday. And yet others have no drive to search for the right one, but if one falls into their lap as they date and they discover they have deep feelings for that person, then they will commit.
A good point is his honesty:At least he is being honest about where he stands with the other girl instead of keeping her a secret. What he reveals show he is willing to commit and just that she's not ready.
The only problem right now i see that you face is if he does commit to you, will he still be secretly thinking about and imagining the other girl he can't have, so tho commited to you physically being there, will his heart be commited elsewhere. Many get sucked into believing the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence but spending ones life looking over the fence means you are not investing time into your own garden.
So...what you are looking for is what he is investing into your relationship that show he has left behind any thoughts of the other garden...err girl. LOL
Bringing up a past girlfriend just in the telling of a story...like the strangest halloween costume you ever saw someone wear was hers. So she naturally comes up in conversation. But if he is still talking about all her qualities, and what he misses about her, then his heart is still engaged with her, regardless if she feels anything back.
The path of dating and relationships often has many broken hearts. But in effort to protect their hearts, some people build walls around their heart, others never take a chance with someone, both are ways to ensure they never get hurt.
It sure sounds like he finds alot of things that draw him to wanting to be with you and not even interact with the roommate for ordinary help things. Perhaps He's still in the 'checking you out' stage and not sure yet if this relationship has possibilities of being something more.
Friendship is an important base for a healthy relationship but so is having chemistry/that romantic spark together. You did not mention having any romantic desires in him nor him towards you. That will be an important aspect if this is to go from friendship relationship to a committed couple relationship. Is there that sexual draw and desire to want to touch and kiss? If you feel that, the thing is to find out if he feels that too and he may not make the move first to find out, simply because he has such an interest in the other girl yet. But she's not in front of him now or in his life right now so the memory of her can fade, especially if there is something to capture his heart elsewhere.
Here's where the risk part comes in, if you are willing to take the chance of being hurt if he rejects you as anything more than just friend and goes back to the other. Step it up by leaving hints, in things you say to him. Guys are as vane as women, just not as obvious so being complimented on looks, traits personality traits is very important in them gauging what effect they have on you and how important he is to you.
We all would rather be with someone who lets us know they appreciate us rather than not saying anything at all.
Next, words aren't enough to prove there is a romantic or sexual draw there. Words are important but are you willing to snuggle, hold hands kiss and flirt by touch. This flirting is not to draw attention that you exist in this world...he's already there, its to let him know that he is romantically and sexually appealing to you. Those two actions should make the difference for him to decide if what he has with you is much more special.
So to not be too blatant about the flirting part to start, heres a link to an article about cute innocent ways to touch a guy...I like the one about pretending to pick an imaginary eyelash off his face.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Either way I look at it, you have something to lose if you do nothing. But on the off chance there is a romantic attraction and he was just holding off on showing that to you, it's worth trying something to see if there is one. Good luck.
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