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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
okay so i am 19 year old female and a fashion design major in nyc. but i just dont seem to fit in anywhere. its like i have weird taped on to my forehead. the quiet one that everyone tiptoe or talk about. when i finished high school i wanted a new experience and wanted to be something. successful happy. and didnt want to be the girl who hid behind her friend. for once i wanted to feel alive pretty. i want to be a fashion designer because it makes me happy and i love to draw. and i understand that life isnt easy. and now that i am here in college it isnt all what it is cracked up to be. i feel as if i can do nothing right. on the outside, to my family i am great. i am in college doing something with my life. i paint this picture as if life is grand when it is not. sometimes i feel as if i just dont want to be here anymore period. just want to go away and just not have to deal with anything anymore. what should i do
Okay so your nineteen and in college. Should I assume you are at the New York School of Design. If so good for you that school is not easy to get into and harder to stay in.
Actually you sound a lot like my cousin, a graduate of the New York school of design. She now lives in Paris and has her own Design House. I think that is what you call them. Her label is not well known here in the states but she is very big in the Asian countries.
Now she didn't just run off to Paris and open her own design house. She failed here in the states. Then worked for some well known designers before trying again. I believe it was on her third try that she was successful.
I tell you all of this to show you that life does not always follow our dreams. But with will power and sticktoitiveness your dreams can be obtained. When dreams and reality don't come together we get dejected. We fail to see the point of pushing on. The point of pushing on is that the dream can be had, if the right foundation is laid. That is what is happening in school right know.
You are in college to learn the fundamentals needed to follow your dream. It may not be what you thought it would be; it almost never is. In the end though you are doing what you need to do to make something of yourself, to make a better life for yourself and to hopefully enjoy the fruits of your studies.
While one never stops learning in life, the formal education you are getting in college will end. The more you put into it with study and other tasks the more you will get out of it. This is your focus right now.
I am old enough to be your grandfather and can tell you unbiasedly that you are great. That you are a beautiful person. You should believe in yourself as your family does. Sure school is tuff; it is suppose to be as you are preparing for a career.
If you are in the New York School for Design you are not at a party school like some of your high school friends went off to. This school is training you to take your place in this world. Unlike other colleges where your friends may graduate with degrees with which there are no jobs for. You will be able to make a life for yourself.
My advise: Assess your goals. If they remain unchanged stick with what you have.
Ever since I met this guy,a friend, I've had thoughts of suicide and self harm. Sometimes I will cut, but not deep. Sometimes I bleed sometimes I don't. I feel like I have depression cause I haven't been able to feel happy and worry free in awhile. My ex just dumped me and I really want him back because nothing bad ever happened with us. But I guess he wants another chance with his 8th grade crush so I've been told. My grandpa just died a week ago and I'm still hurt from that. I've been verbally sexually harassed and had to quit my job. I have a lot of things going on that makes things seem like nothing is going right in my life. Well my friend, who I secretly love, hacked my facebook somehow and is making me feel guilty for just talking to other guys. Yes, I would say some dirty things to go along with it, but I never did anything with them. This guy started to make me feel shitty about myself. He went on to say he deserves better and Im a hoe and he doesnt feel bad for me and what happens to me. This was too nights ago and I lost it. When he said goodbye I was holding a knife in my hand for awhile..just looking at it. Thinking if I should do it or not. I cut my legs but it wasn't deep. But then I held the point of the knife to my chest and just closed my eyes for a bit thinking ..it could all end like this..in a second. But I couldn't do it. Thinking about my mom and the rest of my family. Should I get help? Like treatment? I dont want to tell mom any of this but I dont want to lose her either. I have stopped talking to this guy but Im still not happy. I've tried to starve myself as well
Yes you need help. I am old enough to be a grandparent myself so please listen to me.
What you are doing to yourself and what you are thinking puts you in crisis and in the need of immediate medical intervention. You should be telling you parents of this and asking for help.
My concern is such that if mom is not at home I am going to ask you to call 911 and ask for help. You tell them you are having suicidal thoughts. In most towns what happens is the fire department and the police will respond. The fire department to provide emergency medical help and take you to the hospital emergency room. The police are there to protect and help you as well. You are not in any trouble and are not subject to being arrested.
One of the reasons that both the police and fire department are sent to you is simply this. We want the closest help to get to you in the quickest manner. Normally this would be the fire department though occasionally a police officer on patrol will be closer.
If you are reading this in school go to the health room and ask for help. Tell the health assistant or nurse what you have told us about holding a knife to your chest and your cutting. They will send for the fire department.
Yes you need treatment. You are understanding this which is the first step to getting better. Now take the next step and do what you need to do and ask for that help.
I really miss my ex and we've hanged out a bit but I really want him to want me back and show him what he's missing. His best friend sure thinks he's missing out on a lot for some reason. Should I send him a picture? How would he take it?
DON'T DO IT. NOT ONLY IS IT THE WRONG THING TO DO IT IS A CRIMINAL ACT THAT BOTH YOU AND YOUR EX COULD END UP IN HUGE LEGAL TROUBLE FOR.
I'm not kidding. If you are under 18 you could be charged with distributing CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. Your Ex could be charged with being in receipt of Child pornography. if he sends your picture to anyone else he can also be charged with distribution.
Social media sites such as Facebook and Myspace are working with Federal and local law enforcement to crack down on the use of these sites for distribution. If they find it they will report it.
If this is not bad enough, once you picture hits cyberspace not only is it out there for all to see. It is out their for ever. Future employers, boyfriends and anyone else you may not want seeing you in the nude can find and view these pictures.
Never, ever give anyone a picture of you that you don't want your father to see or your clergymen. Given cyber technology today once that photo leaves your hands it could be used by anyone for anything. Your picture could end up in magazines such as Penthouse, Hustler and Magnum. Included in all sorts of nude photo websites and more.
Doing this is just plain wrong, legally and morally. So DON'T DO IT.
17/f
So last week, I started out with a cold type illness. However, I had an unusually bad sore throat, accompanied by fever and headache. I went to the doctor, who saw a sore on the back of my throat and he told me it was just a virus that would pass. The fever and headache did pass, but I still have the sore. Today, I looked back into my throat and I see a tonsil stone. I've never had one in my life. I gargled with salt water, but it didn't really do anything. The tonsil stone is seriously annoying me and although it doesn't hurt too much, I can still feel it in my throat. I don't have any bad breath, though, which seemed to be a huge issue when I search tonsil stones online. What do I do?! I've already been to the doctor twice and missed a lot of school. Will it pass if I just gargle everyday? Do I need to get my tonsils removed? Help!
None of us are doctors so we really can't answer your question from a medical standpoint.
What I would do if I was you, being this concerned would be to see a specialist. The specialist doctor you need to see is an Eye, Ear, nose and throat doctor. At 17 you do not need parental permission to see any doctor. A federal law known as HIPPA grants anyone over the age of 14 this right.
As for your concern for missing more school. Doctors have various hours that they see patients. Many specialists have hours in the afternoon, evenings and on Saturday. When you call to make an appointment ask for one that may be available after school, in the early evening or on Saturday.
An ENT, as this specialist is referred to, is specifically trained in illness related to the eyes, ears, Nose and throat. Where as your Primary Care Physician(PCP) is just that that, a primary care doctor trained to know a bit about everything. If standard level of care does not cure and illness then you need to be referred to a specialist for the next level of care.
Your insurance company may require your PCP to refer you to any specialist. Call your PCPs office and ask for a referral to an ENT.
While your visiting the ENT, if you have not had a hearing check in the last few years this would be a good time to have that taken care. It is painless and actually a lot of fun.
When I was younger my father would chase me into my room and beat me over the littlest things (ie saying I don't like broccoli), but after he got arrested he stopped, mostly. But now my older brother is taking after him. He is a six-foot-four three hundred pound football player, and has tried to break my neck before, and today punched me in the ribs and now I can't breathe right or move my left arm. When I told my parents they told me to grow up and stop being so dramatic. What can I do? (16-year-old girl)
What you do is pick up the phone and dial 911. You are in need of medical attention, something your parents should have gotten for you. Your brother is old enough that he can be charged, like your father with assault and or domestic violence.
If you are in school and reading this go to the health room or principals office and ask for medical help and the police, if you are at home call 911 or go to a friends house and call 911 if you feel safer their but call 911 for help.
Your brother has no right to assault you in this manner. By this I mean that siblings occasionally fight. They occasionally will hit each other. But if the fighting and hitting escalates to the point where one or both are physically harmed to the point of needing medical attention. This is no longer normal sibling rivalry.
The why of your brothers reason for beating you is not relevant. He has no right to assault you, no one has such a right not your brother or your parents. Your only action is to call the police. The police are there to protect you from actions of this type. They will remove your brother from your home to keep you safe if that is what they deem is required. Then the matter will be turned over to a Judge.
As i said your brothers reasons are not valid. You have done nothing to deserve to be beaten by him or anyone else. To be beaten by him to the point of needing medical attention is a criminal act. Call 911 and ask for help.
I am a 30 year old female, my parents are 55 and 56, A little history first, when I was about 11 or 12 I remember my parents fighting at night one time. My father was trying to pull my mother from their bed. She wouldn't leave the bed, me and the friend I had over woke up to this and started yelling at my dad to stop....come to find out years later my mother had "fallen" for someone else. (That is all she told me).
Now, more than 15 years later, signs of her chatting sexually, texting/sexting, meeting people at random places have fallen in my lap. My neighbor saw her sitting at dunkin donuts with another man. And before this she has been confronted several times...resulting in family blow outs that don't conclude anything because she just keeps doing it. So when I found out about dunkin donuts I have kept it between me, my husband and my brother. My sister is in on it with her! So I looked through her phone and found the guys name and found out she has been devious about where and when she is going instead of "the gym" (that my dad is paying the membership for)! And when she thought that maybe I had looked through her phone, she had my sister (inconspicuously) go to the bathroom, and lock her self in as she searched to see if I had clued my father in. (Which my brother and I have done the last time). At this point I am trying to catch her in the act...I am having a really hard time dealing with this...my dad is oblivious, If she is unhappy she should stop taking advantage that she has a free ride that my father is providing for her and my sister! (because my sister of 29 still lives home (with back problems)with her boyfriend who has no job either) My dad is the sole provider! What do I do!!!??? Am I a terrible person for wanting her caught so the anxiety for me ends? Please help!
I am of two thoughts or two minds on this matter. The first on is of course to tell you to stay out of it. Your parents are adults and need to deal with this situation on their own.
It is understandable that you are upset and that you don't want to see your father hurt yet again. You also see your sister being a sponge living off your father and protecting your mothers affair. You want to do something but you are not sure what to do.
The other side of the coin or my other thought is; how do you know your father is not aware of what is going on. Once burned people usually become very sensitive to fire. I would think your father knowing of your mothers first affair may just be aware of what is happening and for reasons of his own has decided not to do anything about it at this time.
It is very possible that no mater what you do or don't do you are going to be wrong. Sort of damned if you do and damned if you don't.
What you might try is asking sort of a light probing question of dad to see where he is on this. Something to the effect of; " you know dad I was driving past the Dunkin Donuts the other day and saw mom there." Nothing else has to be said and see what dad says back. Based on what dad says you can decide what if anything you want to follow up with. You might want to follow the same with mom adding to the question; "who was that you were sitting with". If she comes back at you with a hostel answer again you have more information with which to make a decision with.
You are in a very awkward no win position here. If mom is cheating on your father. If dad is not aware of what is going on. If you do decide he needs to know, you run the risk of alienating both your parents. For you I see this as a no win situation.
I do understand why you feel you need to tell your dad. I am not going to tell you not too. I am going to suggest that you think twice before doing anything and make sure your facts are correct. Mom having coffee with someone is not cheating. Parents are allowed to have friends of the opposite sex and you may have witnessed two friends doing nothing more than having a cup of coffee.
Hi! I'm michell. My Dad hates me. Recently he has been extremely cold towards me because he thinks I'm rude to him. I wasn't rude to him. He lives my sisters more than he does me and that hurts a lot. I don't know what I could have done wrong. Or why he can't forgive me for it. My relationship with my dad has always been bad. He never liked me and I never liked him. But recently he's been like talking to my sisters an ignoring me. When we go out together he jokes around with them but when I ask him a question he replies me with a single word. I don't know what to do anymore. I thought he will always love me despite my actions. But I am not so sure anymore. He hates me. I don't care about that part but it hurts when he shows his favoritism!
I really do not have a good answer for you other than to maybe explain why. You have not said if you are the oldest, youngest or middle child.
I'm going to assume you are the oldest child for many parents, for no good reason, hold things against the oldest child that are not their fault. Many of the oldest children are unplanned for. The are interruptions in a plan that one or both parents may have had for themselves.
Now this of course is not your fault, you did not ask to be born. My father was one of those types of parents. So I know what it is like to be in your shoes. There is nothing you can do to change his view, he is just being a very small and selfish person if this is his reason for treating you this way.
You could try and talk to him and tell him you see and feel his resentment. That you don 't understand why he is this way. It is possible that he feels he is not treating you any different. It may or may not work for you. Just for your knowledge it did not really work for me even after I told him I forgave him even though he did not ask for forgiveness. It may work for you as everyone is different.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to start building your own life. Include your father when you think you should or can. Don't include him if you feel his presents will ruin your event or day.
The problem is his not yours. I Know it hurts, it hurt me. I finally had to decide that to stop hurting I had to cut him from my life. That is up to you to decide. But you are the most important person in your life. He has to decide if he wants to be a part of it.
Its not me its my best friend who wants to maybe suck her boyfriends dick and i dont know what to do. im trying to convince her out of it, but i cant. and im 15 not 12
Tell your friend what we all wrote. If that doesn't convince her I don't know what will. She is way to young to be doing something like this and she will regret it.
Can you help me with my profile?
I want to put a color/photo as my background and stuff.
Please reply back!
I haven't been able to do that for myself. Ask Dangernerd for help as this I believe is his site.
So the last week my mom hasn't been home. She's been staying with her mother in the hospital. She finally came home last night for a little bit, and I ran her some hot bath water, made her coffee for her, and everything.
I get off of work at 2 I've been getting up at 6 to take my 7 year old brother to school, and than I have college at 8.
I've been exhausted, but I've been doing it for her.
Well she came home last night, and she ran and was giving my brother hugs and kisses and saying how much she's missed him;
but here I am, all excited to see her, and she pushes me to the side, literally, and goes to him. I'm thinking, 'where is my hug? why aren't you excited to see me?"
Than today I cancelled one of my classes to come home to meet my mom to go with her to see my nana, and she was asleep, woke up at 11:30 and was like, you wanna go wtih me, and I was like yeah, thats why I left school early; she didn't approve of my outfit, said it wasn't appropriate. I was in a joggin suit, just like she wore, but my hair was pulled up;
so I went to go change, and put on some tenny shoes, and she left with out me. Said she don't have time to waste on me?
I just really wanted to see my nana, and I haven't been able to because they won't let me drive that far;
I just don't get her. Why does she treat me so differently? My brother always comes first. I may be older, but I like love and affection too?
Than Crimson (my brother) asked her if I died, would she be upset, and she goes 'i guess'. And than he asked if he died, would she be upset, and she said "Yeah, I don't thinkI could deal with losing you"
:(
I do everything for her! I dn't get a thank you or nothing! I've tried talking to her about it, and she said that i need to get over it, and stop being selfish. Selfish for just wanting attentin for my parents?
right.
I wish I had a good answer for you, I don't as one doesn't exist for why your mother treats you this way. The only thing I can tell you as someone old enough to be your grandparent is that parents for some reason treat each child differently.
I for instance I was abused most of my life by my father, abuse similar to what you are seeing from your mom. It was not physical abuse it was mental abuse. Why? What did I do wrong to cause him to abuse me? I was born. I happened to come along at a time in his life when he was not prepared to be a parent. The war had just ended, he and my mother married during the war. He had plans that did not include children at that time. Those plans changed when my mom became pregnant.
Unlike my sister who my mother became pregnant with at his choosing, I bore the brunt of his anger anytime something went wrong. His way of showing his displeasure with me was not to speak to me until I apologised for what ever he thought the transgression was. It mattered not whether I was responsible I had to apologize. He died without us speaking for the last 10 years of his life.
I tell you this not to say this is what your mothers problem, but to show you that some parents treat each child differently. Your mom may feel that as a college age student, a young adult;that showing love and affection is inappropriate.
If running baths for your mother and making her coffee, taking care of your brother is being done to earn your mothers affection? Then maybe you should consider letting mom fend for herself on some of these issues. Taking care of your brother is an issue I think you need to continue if he is to young to care for himself.
You can't buy affection which is what it seems you are trying to do. If you stop doing all these things for mom maybe she will realize what a gem of a daughter you really are?
hi, i know that sounds silly, how can you not know you are stressed, but i've never really been that stressed out before. i mean yeah sure school sucked sometimes and stuff, but i've always been pretty laid back, so i've never really dealt with stess or sadness before.
well,a little bit ago, i had something traumatic happen to me. i really hate when people whine & such, so after about a week or so, i decided it was time to move on, they wouldn't want me acting this way.
so, i thought i've done that. but i think i might still actually be stressed about it.. i've been grinding my teeth when i sleep, having nightmares, irregular periods(& i've had my period for many years now, and its always been very spot on what day i'd have it),can't sleep, etc. aren't these kinds of things symptoms of stress?
how do you fix this?i really have no idea. i don't feel that sad, i mean i still cry about it a lot, but usually only at night. but during the day it's back to same old same old. thanks for any help
& please don't suggest talking to someone about it, i can't talk to my family about it, because i know they will get very upset. i've been the strong one & i can't let them down. & i don't want to upset my friends either..
I'm not a doctor, none of us are so we cannot make a diagnoses.
From what you have written it sure sounds like stress or depression which is brought on by stress. What to do about it is to see your family doctor and be screened for depression. If you are depressed there are medications that can help. If you are not depressed there are medications that will help you to relieve the stress.
As for talking to anyone to help relieve the stress? Talking to a family member probably won't help. You need to speak to someone disassociated from the problem, A therapist is usually a good way to help learn how to handle stress while talking with someone about what is causing your stress. Your family doctor could probably make a recommendation to you.
i am a 44 yr old woman and i am finally in a place i feel at home.i'm single disabled and have the biggest heart anyone could ask 4. But my problem is my youngest daughter 22w/child i addore so much that lives with me for the forth time and her daddy raised her in nc,where i'm from and he stole her from me when she was 2 but she came back to me when her stepmother left to 4 the same reason i did,, drugs...he was on and 4 me physical and mental abuse. i left my home state because he threatened me and my land lord that he was going to burn my house down if he didn't get shed of me.well that was 13 yrs ago and 2 wks ago he called my daughter and asked me if he could stay here temporarily and of course i said yes. well now 3 wks later he caused me and my babygirl got in a fist fight today. i have fybromyalgae and now have bruises on me and then she left with him but said theyd be back tomorrow. well my pt. is i don't want to live anymore because stress brings alot of pain to me and they are taking over my home and won't help clean all they do is ask for money that i have not gottten so i'm miserable i want to kill myself cause well my child told me to die today that it would make her
life so much better well i am sick and tired of being sick and tired.signed MISERABLE
If your daughter or your ex-husband struck you that is at the very least assault. It is also domestic violence given the family relationship. Assaulting someone anyone is a crime, as is domestic violence for which you should call the police. They will remove your daughter and her father from your home. The police will also give you instructions on how to file for a restraining order(s) to keep them away from you once they are released on bail.
Killing yourself is the wrong solution. The right solution is making this a police matter and allowing the police and the courts to protect you and teach them they cannot take advantage of you.
Last night I had a little bit of diharrea and this morning before I even ate breakfast I had diharrea twice! I have aslo has pains in the lower back part of my head. I wouldn't call it a headache because it feels like something different. I am 13/f. My period was irregular and there is a lump in my throat that I feel when I swallow. I would feel bad to ask to go to the doctors because my mom is already sick and my dad is very busy. Thanks for any help you offer :)
As we told you yesterday; we are not doctor's we cannot make a diagnoses. If you need to see a doctor, and it sounds as if you do. Then you are going to have to ask either mom or dad to at the very least make the appointment for you.
Once the appointment is made the doctor may be willing to see you without mom or dad being with you, if you can get to the office without either of them driving you.
My advice is to tell mom or dad you don't feel well and need to see a doctor.
16/f so i have this boyfriend, and he understands about waiting and he always says until your ready when we talk about it. like i really want to have sex with him; but i dont know if i should we have been going out for awhile now. and we would be eachothers first. i really like him but all the boys in my school are like this. they go out with girls for awhile for sex then break up with them after and say like "shes bad" "she needs to clean down there" "i smelt fish" and that happened to my best friend. and i dont know if i should because i want to but i am scard and dont know if hes different. please help!
First you are still to young to be thinking about having adult sexual relations. While your body is capable of the physical act of sex. You are still needing to mature to the point of accepting the responsibilities that go along with having sexual relations. My use of the word you means any 16 year old, male or female.
Your concern with your boyfriend is very valid. Boy his age are generally a love them and leave them type. Once they get what they want they move on to someone else. Generally it is they got what they wanted and it is time for someone new. Not all boys are this way but the majority of them are.
Worse teenage boys are the biggest gossips ever placed on this earth. They cannot keep a secret. They will tell their best friend(s) that you and him had sex. Next thing you know every boy in school knows as do their girlfriends. You get a reputation you really don't want.
Adult sexual relations are best waited for until you are an adult in a committed relationship. Your present boyfriend is most likely not going to be the person you marry. Especially if you both plan to go to college and different colleges at that.
I may be old enough to be your grandfather, though I remember what it was like to be a teenage boy. Teenage boys goals are to have sex with as many girls as possible. Among them is to find at least one virgin to deflower.
Don't give up your virginity to keep a boyfriend who will in all likelihood leave you once he has taken your virginity. Your virginity is more valuable than that. Save it for a man, an adult who will value this gift when you are older.
i would like to know wut to do
I'm going to agree with Marley22 and Zane in that this is not something you do to please you man.
If you have ever read my views on consensual sex you will see that the operative word is CONSENT. I don't believe anything is strange or weird between two loving adults in the privacy of their bedroom. Just as long as both partners are WILLING PARTICIPANTS.
My definition of willing is: that you agree to what the other wants without reservation, that BOTH agree this is something they both want to do or try. If either partner has any reservation at all then by my definition they are not a willing participant.
If you do not wish to bring a third person in to your bed, be they man or women, then don't. Your unwillingness to do so is the basis for regret afterwards if you do so. When it comes to something so intimate as sex you should never enter into it in any manner that can end with regret. That is a prescription for disaster.
Should you find yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to participate; that is rape, even by your husband.
My advice is if your writing us for advise you have reservations. Then by my advice in sex say no.
OK, I have a LOT going wrong with me. First, I got a lump in my throat, then a small bump on the roof of my mouth, frequent stomach aches that last just a few minutes and vary in severity. Then my period came along....The first day it was very light. I used one tampon from 6 am to 1 pm and I didnt need another one, the next day I didnt need one at all. Usually my period lasts 4 to 5 days and I need a new tampon all day except at night and early mornings. Why are there suddenly so many things wrong with me? I want to go to the doctors but my mom is avoiding that for some reason. Help? Thanks :)
We are not doctors and even if we were we cannot make a diagnoses or give any diagnoses over this site.
The lump and the bump are the two problems that are most disturbing to me. Followed by stomach aches and irregular period. The last two may be related but it will take a doctor to make that call.
If you are over 14 by law you do not need mom to take you to the doctor. A Federal Law called HIPPA gives anyone, especially girls, over the age of 14 the right to seek medical help, for female related problems such as irregular periods.
This law also gives you medical confidentiality meaning whatever you say, whatever the doctor treats you for or prescribes stays between you and the doctor. You parents or anyone else cannot be told without your written permission to the doctor. There are exceptions but they are for life threatening situations where parental permission by law is require to treat you.
If you are under 14 and you cannot get mom to take you to the doctor go to the school nurse. If the school nurse feels your medical complaint warrants seeing a doctor they will send you to a hospital emergency room. The school system has that right while you are in their care. If the nurse does not feel the matter is that urgent but you need to see a doctor. They will call mom and request mom take you to the doctor with a follow up note to them from the doctor after you have been seen and treated.
When I read your words re suicidal thoughts I thought it could have been something I wrote... including the reason why you didn't do it. Because it would hurt ppl too much. Lately I think they would understand. I am not depressed. I don't feel like I don't belong. I just feel like I have had all that this life has to offer. I am tired & ready to move on.
I'm focusing on this statement of yours; "I am not depressed. I don't feel like I don't belong. I just feel like I have had all that this life has to offer. I am tired & ready to move on."
I may have been one of the advisers who answered you. If I did and I told you about the time I had some thoughts of suicide it was because I was in real physical pain for which I could not get help due to impediments that were put in my way by various legal actions that had to be cleared. In the end they were cleared in my favor.
In the nearly 18 months from the time I was injured until the different insurance companies finally decided who was at fault, not me, and that I was truly injured. I was in real and deep pain. On the 10 scale they use to measure pain my daily pain levels were off the chart. A good day was a 10.
I don't see this in your writing. "I am tired & ready to move on." How old are you? What are you tired of? Even handicapped as I am I have learned that there is something new to learn each day. I have learned that I have knowledge to share and the reason I write the column.
To me being ready to move on means and always has meant finding new challenges. Challenges are out their to be found, even in today's economy. There are things to be learned, causes to championed many things I have found to occupy my time and mind.
Suicide may have ended my pain, it would not have cured it. It would have caused great pain to those I love and who love me. I would not have had the opportunity to make the new friends that I have made. I would have missed a lot had I given any credence to those thoughts.
Suicide is never the answer or the solution. If you want help help is available. Please call this number 1-800-273-TALK. This is the national suicide hotline. They will talk with you as long as you need to and then help you get the help you need.
First off i'm 23f and i'm engaged to my long time bf (25) we have lived together for two years and the other day we got a big surprise. we are now expecting. My bf and i are happy but i'm really worried about what my family will say. his family is really laid back and i'm psitive they will have no problem with it. i know this cause his mom bugs us about grand kids. lol
but my parents are a little...ummm well the opposite. i'm afraid that i'll get a lecture not the congratz. My bf and i don't make much money but we get by. My bf and i have already looked over fiannces and things and we will be fine but i don't think my paents will see it that way. i'm just really stressed about the whole situation (my bf keeps bugging me to calm down) please any advice would help. (ps my parents and his parents are from kinda differnt worlds...i think my parents resent that i'm okay with living in the area we do and work the jobs we do...sometimes i think my parents think they are better that my bfs parents cause mine have money) i hope all the extra info helps thank you
I agree with Zane. You and your fiance are adults not teenagers and entitled to your own lives. The fact that you are concerned with your parents opinions is honorable and to a degree they have aright to their opinions. Their opinions though should not be paralyzing to you or stress you out to that point for what they are, are just opinions. You and your fiance still have every right to live your lives as you see fit without interference from parents.
Now on the upside of my advice as a parent of grandparent age myself. Never sell your parents short, especially when it comes to grandchildren. Sure mom and dad may say some things now and they may say some things that may even be cruel or hurtful. When that little bundle of joy comes into this world he or she has a way of breaking down even the strongest of convictions.
It is amazing to watch your parents become babbling fools when they hold their grandchild for the first time. I remember when my father, a man who was a rock that nothing ever penetrated, who feared nothing. Sat frozen holding his grandson for fear he would drop or hurt him holding him. My son was not his first grandchild, but he was my son. My mother who at times butter would not melt in her mouth became a babbling fool.
This is what happens to parents when they become grandparents and when they get the news that their ADULT child is giving them a grandchild. They may not be thrilled with your lifestyle or some of the choices you have made so far. But a grandchild changes the picture and can change their perception.
So as the saying goes; "you have nothing to fear but fear itself." If your parents are less than thrilled, or continue to be as you described you have lost nothing. The problem is theirs not yours.
My advise is to tell them you are pregnant, deal with their reaction and move on. Don't let your concern with what their reaction may be paralyze you. It is not good for the baby.
By the way Congratulations.
Is this teacher flirting with me or am I overreacting?
My teacher is 27 and Im 18 and he always asks me do I like him if I'm alone with him. I do have a crush on him, but I never tried to do anything with him and I never will. Sometimes I blush when hes around but that's it.If I go to the restroom and Im tardy to class, he will take me to class and he acts weird, he asks weird questions, like he asked me did I love him in front of our class. He will get really close to me and ask me do I love him and if I say no he just says that he loves me. I cant tell if hes serious sometimes or if hes just playing. Sometimes he makes me go in the hall so he can talk to me about nothing that's important. He calls me his girlfriend in front of teachers and students and they just laugh at him because they think hes joking. I don't know if hes playing or what. He'll be in class teaching and put his arm around me. I don't think he'll try to do anything but sometimes he gets close to me and its really uncomfortable, even when I back away. He just stares and smiles at me a lot. Or he'll walk over to my desk and stand there for a while. I'm a pretty strait forward person, so after a while I turn around and ask him what he wants. He'll ask if I need help or something. One time he looked up my schedule and took me out of PE class because I was mad at him and someone told him that I didnt like him, he took me out of class just to ask me if I didnt like him and he looked seriously hurt.
Maybe I'm just overreacting but I just wanted to know what somebody else's opinion was about the situation. Sometimes I just can't tell if hes joking because he knows I have a crush on him or if hes being serious. He has been doing this before I turned 18. Please answer, thanks
I agree with the advise solidadvice4teens has given you. At the very least this teacher is being inappropriate in his manner with you. The fact that your 18 and legally an adult does not excuse his actions. He is your teacher and in a position of authority over you. This Is by law sexual harassment. The fact that you are his student means he should be terminated from teaching and arrested.
You have done nothing wrong here. The fault and problem her lies squarely with the teacher. The correct thing to do here is to tell your parents. Yes, tell your parents so they, not you can take the proper action. I believe you are still in High School so even though you are 18 this is a matter for your parents to handle.
Your parents should call the police as what is happening to you is a police matter. Again you are not at fault here. By making this a police matter the school system cannot sweep this under the rug as some do. They will have to suspend the teacher immediately from teaching while the police investigate or until there is a trial.
Please understand that you are completely blameless here and what I am suggesting is the right thing, the adult way of handling this. He is being inappropriate with you. How many other students is being inappropriate with? How many other students has he been inappropriate with.
If you are strong enough to do the right thing I can assure you others will then come forward. As we have seen so recently in news reports. If he is doing this with and to you I am sure you are not the first student he has done so with and if you are than he must be stopped before he does so or goes further with other young girls.
Tell your parents tonight. Do the right thing and call the police. Do it for yourself as well as those girls he has yet to harass and the ones who were not strong enough to come forward.
Ok, so say your boyfriend wants you to suck his dick, and you kinda want to. but your only 12. what should you do? is it bad if a 12 year old does that or a handjob?
I agree with the other two advisers; you and your boyfriend are way too young to be even thinking about sex stuff. Heck you are not even teenagers yet not that it means anything.
What is the all fired hurry today with kids, and I do mean kids or should I say children, to have sex. While your bodies my be physically capable of the act you are not mentally capable of understanding or mature enough to understand all the ramifications of an adult sexual act. Yes handjobs and blowjobs are adult sexual acts which eventually lead to sexual intercourse. It is a natural progression.
Yes you and your boyfriend are entering puberty. This I understand. As an adult male I understand that the hormones now coursing through you are sending signals through your bodies that you need to understand Emphasis on "need to under stand" not act upon.
For the moment I will put aside the possible consequences of your actions except for this one. Your in middle school now and have the remaining 1 or 2 grades left plus the 4 years of high school. When it comes to getting any type of sex from a girl boys cannot keep a secret. They will tell someone. That someone will tell someone else. Before you know it everybody in school will know you did whatever with your boyfriend.
You will become very popular as you will be thought of as easy. Any boy you ever date or hang out with will say he did something with you. Why? Because he will not want anyone to know he didn't score with you. You will get a reputation you don't want and will not be able to live down.
This is what it was like decades ago when I was a teenage boy and I know it has not changed. In fact with social network sites such as facebook it has become easier to spread rumors like this.
My advice is to tell your boyfriend to take care of his problem at home in his bedroom himself.