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I'm worried what my family will say about us... because I am now pregnant by my fiance, but we aren't married yet.
First off i'm 23f and i'm engaged to my long time bf (25) we have lived together for two years and the other day we got a big surprise. we are now expecting. My bf and i are happy but i'm really worried about what my family will say. his family is really laid back and i'm psitive they will have no problem with it. i know this cause his mom bugs us about grand kids. lol
but my parents are a little...ummm well the opposite. i'm afraid that i'll get a lecture not the congratz. My bf and i don't make much money but we get by. My bf and i have already looked over fiannces and things and we will be fine but i don't think my paents will see it that way. i'm just really stressed about the whole situation (my bf keeps bugging me to calm down) please any advice would help. (ps my parents and his parents are from kinda differnt worlds...i think my parents resent that i'm okay with living in the area we do and work the jobs we do...sometimes i think my parents think they are better that my bfs parents cause mine have money) i hope all the extra info helps thank you
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I agree with Zane. You and your fiance are adults not teenagers and entitled to your own lives. The fact that you are concerned with your parents opinions is honorable and to a degree they have aright to their opinions. Their opinions though should not be paralyzing to you or stress you out to that point for what they are, are just opinions. You and your fiance still have every right to live your lives as you see fit without interference from parents.
Now on the upside of my advice as a parent of grandparent age myself. Never sell your parents short, especially when it comes to grandchildren. Sure mom and dad may say some things now and they may say some things that may even be cruel or hurtful. When that little bundle of joy comes into this world he or she has a way of breaking down even the strongest of convictions.
It is amazing to watch your parents become babbling fools when they hold their grandchild for the first time. I remember when my father, a man who was a rock that nothing ever penetrated, who feared nothing. Sat frozen holding his grandson for fear he would drop or hurt him holding him. My son was not his first grandchild, but he was my son. My mother who at times butter would not melt in her mouth became a babbling fool.
This is what happens to parents when they become grandparents and when they get the news that their ADULT child is giving them a grandchild. They may not be thrilled with your lifestyle or some of the choices you have made so far. But a grandchild changes the picture and can change their perception.
So as the saying goes; "you have nothing to fear but fear itself." If your parents are less than thrilled, or continue to be as you described you have lost nothing. The problem is theirs not yours.
My advise is to tell them you are pregnant, deal with their reaction and move on. Don't let your concern with what their reaction may be paralyze you. It is not good for the baby.
By the way Congratulations.
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Really stop stressing. I was the same way about my husbands parents. They aren't strict or religious but him mom thinks if her kids are having kids than she has to take care of them? I don't know either. You are engaged and have lived together for 2 years. Now yes your mother is going to tell you how hard it is to raise a baby how expensive they are. Tell your mother in a nice voice. Mom I know its going to be expensive but We really think we can handle it. I would really like your support in this. It wasn't planned we were surprised but we are happy. Your mom will happy about the situation it may take a couple days but soon you will find all these baby clothing she is showing you or buying. Congrats!!!
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You need to chill out
You seem to skip out on the fact that you are an adult, You are engaged to the father of this child. You are independent, On your own and pay your own bills. Your parents may have their opinions but they do NOT have say on what you and your fiance decide to do. Again, You are independent and you are the adult. Sometimes spilling the news is shocking for people but I can almost promise you that sooner or later your parents will adjust to the fact that there is a little one on the way. This is NOT a matter of who has more money, That in my opinion is an awful shallow way to think. You are going to marry this man then you need to shape up and except them for who they are not their finances. Again, You are fine. I would say otherwise if you still lived at home and were dependent on your parents and you are not.
If you feel more comfortable you and your fiance could sit down together and spill the news, Better to get it out the way then 5 months down the line where they find out the hard way.
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