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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Hey. I'm kinda worried about my mum because I was standing next to her and she told me she suddenly couldn't see me standing next to her because her sight was just black. She just can't see the sides. Everything else is fine. :(
Has someone experienced this before? Thanks!

Thats one of the things an eye doctor will check for.sti pt my system I am near sighted and so I get regular check ups and get glasses or contacts up dated.
People with perfect vision have no need of corrective lenses and so its unlikely they have been often, or ever in to see an eye doctor. It would be a good thing for her to go so in case there is a problem, that something can be done to help her remaining eye sight before it is gone.

Not to scare you, but there are points in everyones vision that can be like little blind spots. They run a test for each eye where I am to press a button each time I notice a quick tiny speck of light flash for a second or less. I have noticed that when I look straight ahead but try to catch all these lights, that some are dimmer than others and some I am not sure I saw at all. there are some I miss and a certain amount of this is normal and I have never been told to worry about it. But they do check because if the change was too great since last test it could be an indicator to check for something abnormal.

Tell mom even if its scary she must go see an eye doctor. Usually every insurance plan has Md's, dentists and eye doctors they will cover. If you dont have insurance, time to start checking what programs help those without insurance to get eyes checked. It is a serious enough situation to get checked out as soon as possible to make sure she gets treatment if needed as soon as possible or if it comes and goes, only a doctor can figure out if its related to another medical problem. Sight is precious...one doesnt want to mess around and not get it checked out.

Okay, thank you for answering my question about the vaginal discharge, it was REALLY helpful. But what about the crusty stuff? You know, when the discharge dries up in your panties and leaves it all crusty-like? My mom, and older sister has even given me a few "ew"s because of it , what would he think when he pulls down my panties and sees crusty stuff ?

I got a thick layer of crusty stuff too. It happens, either start wearing pantiliners and put a fresh liner on before going out with him or put on a fresh pair of pantys.
I assume the real problem here is with your mom and sisters reaction. Perhaps they were teasing you. That wasn't cool at all if they were. Even if they were serious, I want you to know, that No two females in the same family are going to be exact duplicates of each other. You could end up having larger breasts than your own mom, and have a higher libido than your sister ever will have. Who knows? The reaction in my opinion is kinda immature. This is a natural body action. The amount isn't an issue. The only problem is if you are having itching, soreness or a really bad odor from your private area. If mom and sis are so uptight and uncomfortable with anything of a sexual or reproductive nature, I guess you stick with writing here or when in-person help is needed like for birth control, talk to the people at Planned Parenthood. They will see teens for infections like yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis but mostly are there for any sexual related support including providing condoms or birth control for the girls. You don't want to see them for the first time because you became pregnant.

I will say that I remember having a greater amount of build up of crusty stuff by the end of each day when I was a teen than I had when I was in my twenties and older. You may produce more cleaning fluid than others and need to change pantiliners several times a day, much easier than actually changing panties while at school. Your bodies natural cleansing will be there all your life. I am now in menopause, no period but my system still self cleans just fine but since the need is less with not having a period, the amount of fluid is a lot lot less.
If you learn to be comfortable about this part of you, then any boyfriend who ends up your sex partner will be too. If he asks, what is that? You get to teach him. Oh, well the vaginal area is a marvelous creation, it is self cleaning, its ongoing all day every day so that it is always as clean as possible. This is a fluid my body creates to rinse out my vagina and it collects on the panty/pantyliner. This is normal. If he asks anything more, answer just what you know or say, thats a good question, lets find a computer and look that up together, thats one of the most special things you can do with a guy, to research and look up sexuality related stuff and learn together. I know it sounds awkward to be talking about stuff like this with a guy but someday they will be married and see when the wife has her period, when she leaked past her pads and stained the sheets and mattress, this is all normal stuff about a female, not to be shunned but society has conditioned many to be ashamed to talk about it. I was shy too at your age and couldn't even say the word sex let alone talk with a guy about it. But at some point you and he are going to have to be comfortable discussing it, setting boundaries and rules and of course learning more when you are ready. A person can't have a good, happy sexual relationship without talking on the subject. Anytime you have any sexual related stuff you need to talk to a female about, I'm here dear.

I need an exclusive Orissa sarees in online stores, where we can find best saree stores?

It is really quite easy to find a listing of Orissa Saree's by simply putting those two words in the search box of your computer internet. I did and up came a list of many online Orissa Saree merchants. As to how exclusive they are, it may be better for you to bring up each site to see if it is what you are looking for. Here's just a small sample of what I found, you'll find much more when you do the search.

www.unnatisilks.com/.../sarees-from-orissa.html

www.utsavfashion.com/saree/orissa-silk-type

www.bharatplaza.com/orissa-saree.html

I am 22 years old and I have been dating this guy it will be 3 weeks on Wendsday and I know this is kind of soon to be feeling this way but i am truely madly in love with him and I have know this guy since we were in the 11th grade so mabey I felt this way all along and my feelings for him just got stronger. How do I tell him without scaring him off ?

I don't know your guy from Adam, so I have no way of knowing what might scare him off or if this profession of yours would not scare him.
Take into consideration that if he doesnt feel the same at the time you say so, he might feel forced to have to say the same to keep you happy. And he could end up feeling some resentment or anger at being put in this spot or feel trapped because he uttered those words. I read that from relationship coaches in the past.

Have you ever considered that the words 'I love you' are actually the wrong words for the situation because what you are feeling is great attraction to him that has grown through the years. It is hard to really know enough about a person to know if you really love them when you have not been spending lots of time together. Even though you knew him in school, that's not the same as dating over time. Love comes over time and with more revelation about who this person is. So have you thought of saying that you are very attracted to him and like him a lot. Blurting out these words too soon could put him under the impression that you are led more by your emotions than by wisdom, knowledge, experience, intuition. It could be okay but there are negative emotions too does he know for certain that you wont also be quick to anger too and not have good control over your emotions?

A guy may say I love you when in fact its the wrong word to use, he is trying to say he is very attracted to you and likes you a lot. I am a very articulate person with great intelligence and good communication skills. If I heard this, it would at least tell me the guy speaks before he thinks, that he is led more by his emotions than by wisdom, knowledge, experience, intuition. It could be okay but there are negative emotions too like anger. If he's so quick to love, he may be quick to anger too and not have a good understanding or control of his emotions.

Another misconception one can get is that she is a needy sort and is looking for a guy who will be her emotional support, someone for her to lean on and to live for cus she really doesn't have a life of her own.

I don't know if he will react adversely thinking any of that, so maybe you keep it quiet and wait for him to share it first, more men share that revelation first than woman do according to surveys taken. Or tell him you've been attracted to him for so long that now that you're dating, your feelings for him are getting stronger. Thats better than still saying I love you. But if you want, and cant resist, say, I feel like I am falling in love with you. (Becuase really its a process) and its softer than saying the final...I love you.

I am a 15 year old female and have been masturbating for 4 years now. My parents don't know and I'd like to keep it that way. After I was done masturbating, I felt fine, but after 2 or 3 minutes, I was experiencing terrible lower back pain ln my sides. Does masturbation have anything to do with the pain? Is there anything I can do to ease it?

The only thing I can think of is that in orgasm, lots of muscles in the lower abdomen contract vigourously, enough so that these muscles may have an effect, a pull on the lower vertebrae of the back, which if they are misaligned could be why there is pain. I think it's worth seeing a chiropracter. If this is the only time you experience back pain and no other, you can always try asking at Planned Parenthood. They help teens with anything related to sex and the reproductive organs and the fact that you've seen them must be law be kept confidential so your parents cant know. Its the same for any doctor.
If you begin to notice lower back pain with other activities, you need to tell the parents you feel you need to see a chiropracter. they dont have to know what first caused it as there are many things that can cause it. One of my daughter tripped and fell as she ran to catch the bus and developed a lower back and knee pain that wouldnt go away. Once she saw a chiropracter, it was discovered that the fall was enough to knock her knee joint and lower back out of kilter.
You can try exercises that are good for stretching lower back and strengthening it. This you might find by a search on line, or in a book at the library or from a chiropracter. But I can't say that will ease it or cure it. Seeing medical professionals is the best way to go.

I was in his neighborhood earlier today and i asked him the day earlier if he was busy tomorrow cause i made a lpt of dog biscuits and wantedto give some to his dog and if bpossible if we can hang out. He said idk yet so im guessing replying to the if he was busy sort of thing. Then i was in front of his house because the entire morning he didnt text me back so i thought might as well drop off the cookies if hes not home since i cane all the way there. And after a while he texted becaxk pretty much im summarizong as you cant just drop by someones house without telling them and expect to be let in im helping my parents around the house right now and dropping pff things isnt stayin outside and waiting t be let in but instead to drop off the stuff and leave. /: was i doing something stupid... Honestly i just wanted to see him one last time to see if i could like know what he thinks in person cause like o said things were dofferent in person. Should i ask to hang out again? Idk its like witer break right now and i want to see him once at least this break for sure because once school starys i lose my chances because of schoolwork and etc.

Should you ask him again to hang out? YES! Its a big yes because my telling you otherwise has not made any impression.
Only through some of the harsh hurtful things in life do we learn what works and what does not. I think you may be one who learns from many many repeated experiences that don't work. If it takes once having someone act indifferent to you, or whether it take 5 experiences, or 50, eventually you will learn, I am certain of that.
Think of when you were a toddler and mom told you not to touck the oven door cus it was hot. When you did, it was painful. Did you touch it again? Maybe once more time, but it was obvious, wasn't it, that messing with a hot oven door was going to hurt you. Eventually you learned. In relationships, things aren't so black and white and easy to learn, but the lessons must be learned one way or the other. So keep calling, keep texting, keep showing up at his house or following him where ever he goes. Either he will get mad but do nothing else, or the worst case scenerio, if he feels like he is being stalked, he might talk to the authorities to see what can be done.

I am a 25 year old female who is still a virgin and I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now and he is 26 years old and the other other day he asked me how I felt about having sex with him and I told him I would but I said I think you need to know that i am still a virgin and then as soon as I told him that he said he didn't think it would be a good idea after all and I asked him why was that ? He said he didn't want me to regret losing my virginity and wanted me to keep it as long as I could so then I explained to him that I have done everything else I just haven't gone all the way yet so he said I still want you to wait to make sure it's what you want to do . I told him I was sure that I wanted him to be my first he said I know you say that but what about after you lose your virginity ? what's the big deal ? why won't he let me go all the way when I really want to ? I mean I know he explained it to me but I have never had a guy tell me before that they didn't want to fool around. why is he different from the others? Thanks for all your help in advance everybody .

Both you and he need to realize the sexual experience is not about losing anything, and certainly not virginity. If something entering your vagina means you are no longer a virgin, then what about use of tampons or vibrators, does that make someone no longer a virgin.

Then how about two girls or two guys, they don't have one of each, one penis one vagina between them, its two penises or two vagina's with them, ...so at what point do they "lose their virginity" so to speak. There is no such thing. Both you and he have a misconception of the sexual experience. It is something experienced in steps, first with masturbating by yourself, then kissing and foreplay, oral sex and finallyits not about a penis entering a vagina intercourse. So not only are you not a virgin, neither was he when he started masturbating...since that is the b eginning of our sexual experiences when we first hit puberty. It is a better concept to visualize gaining rather than losing something, gaining sexual experience which starts with puberty and continues on throughout your life. I am 55 and still finding new experiences from time to time with my husband...not because we arent active, we are...there just are things/experiences you stumble upon as you go through life. I have discovered more about my capabilities and new things I am able to do in my forties and 50's than I did when I was your age.

If you are able to convince him to have sex with you, please realize that a man who is crazy in love with you would not find the fact of you not having had intercourse, lesson any desire he has for you sexually. If a man like that asked you and you said you were a virgin, but were willing right then, he'd have bedded you that night. This man is just looking for a sex partner/companion, someone for company, it doesnt have to be love.

If you want to experience the intercourse part, then just dont announce in the future that you are a virgin, cause technically you're not. Some hymens are stretched by use of tampons or dildos so they dont tear or break. Hymens is no way for a man to know whether a female has had penetrative sex before or not. Even with sex, some women remain tighter than others, so if you don't tell him, there's no way for him to know, there never in the history of man has been.

Okay, so i'm a 14 year old virgin (im not thinking about having sex anytime soon but I would still like to know) & i have vaginal discharge everyday! I understand that this is normal - i have no foul smell or weird color- but what about when i'm ready to lose my virginity? I don't want the boy to be creeped out or whatever, & i refuse to explain to him what it is. . But how will this discharge affect sex? Will i have to wait until it stops, and what if a boy wants to eat me out or something?

The vaginal discharge which is part of your bodies natural cleansing system is something that slowly issues out over a 24 hr period, its not like volumes of fluid that come forth all at once, so unless a man has studied health knows all the ins and outs about reproductive systems of males and females, he is not likely to realize that a female even has a daily cleansing discharge.
The only kind of things guys know vaguely about is that girls get a period.
Teen boys having sex know so little about females that some even ask if a girl can get pregnant from anal sex. Be sure to study in books and on line your own anatomy to understand it well enough to explain to a sex partner some day. Nows the time to start studying.

If the boy you choose for your sexual partner is someone who isn't just someone to date for dating sake, but someone where both of you are mutually attracted to, turned on by, and have feelings for each other, then there is the possibility that during sex you will have another kind of vaginal discharge, a thicker mucus that oozes from the walls of the vagina when you are being aroused by kissing and foreplay, this is to prepare and lubricate the vagina for a penis to enter. When a guy is giving oral sex, eating you out, he is going to get some of this fluid from your body. That is the goal, that is the prize for guys. Its seldom a guy is repulsed by it. If he were, he'll never have a sex partner again and he'll be a lonely guy. If the female ejaculates, not all do because of how their reproductive systems developed when they were still a fetus, this ejaculating fluid is much more volume and thinner than the first one produced. This is called gushing or squirting and occurs when the female has a orgasm...maybe not with every orgasm but pretty much. So this is something that not every male has experienced in a female either because the female is incapable of squirting or the one who is able to never has because the guy doesnt know how to bring her to orgasm to produce this gushing. Take it from an older woman, through my life experiences and I am still very sexual, I'd say only about 1 out of every 5 guys is creeped out by having sex while their lady is on her period, the others actually crave it, they love it for many different reasons. Once it is known that a female is physically capable of gush/squirting, guys are desperate and will be begging that woman to be their sex partner. Men love any kind of fluid they can get from a female, they go crazy over it. Not exaggerating dear. I have experienced this. It is only when a guy is young and inexperienced and it is all new to him that he may not figure out what he likes yet or not. As for odors, there is a natural musky smell that you have. If you masturbate, you can smell it on your fingers. This is not offensive to guys, in fact it is finer than the best french perfume...another thing men go crazy over...all of them. The only odor that may not be good is a fishy odor when you are not on your period that may indicate an infection you need to see the doctor about. Even now in my 2nd marriage, I will check with the husband from time to time if I smell and taste fresh because I am more than willing to go to the bathroom and do a quick basic rinse with water (never use soap...thats a no-no) but he has never found anything to be offensive. Just take things slowly. Your sexual debut is not about losing anything but gaining experience so its not losing virginity but a sexual experience that starts with yourself, exploring yourself, masturbating and once you feel you are ready and have the right partner, being mature enough to plan and have protection. First, kissing and touching, etc.
If you still find yourself too worried and uncomfortable for interacting sexually with a boy, then don't do it. Wait until you are ready. Eventually you will be. I didnt even try in my teens. I waited til I was 20.

I was texting my boyfriend last night and I asked him why he hadn't been talking to me much. He downright told me that he wasn't sexually attracted to me because of my weight. What should I do? Should I break up with him?

Yes honey,break up with him. He was looking for a way out anyhow. What I don't understand is why he agreed to date you if he didn't find you attractive to his tastes. So this is a lesson to you: Never date some guy, just because he asks you or if his looks are not appealing to you.

Just as people have their preferences in food, some love cauliflower and brocolli and others don't want it at all, its the same for tastes in looks of the opposite sex.
While it may be true he is not attracted to your body type, whether skinny, chubby, overweight or obese...women in all those catagories have men who really love them and the way their body looks is something they are attracted to because like food, people have their preferences in people.
Just as there are picky eaters, there are those who will eat any vegetable that grows on the planet, and so it is with those of the opposite sex, they will find every different type of person appealing in their own way.

At your age, females too can discover they are attracted more to certain types...I like brunettes more and find longer hair attractive but have a wide range in likes from hairy bodied to smooth baby skin on a guy. You will develop your own likes too.
Since you know how it hurts to be told your weight wasnt attractive to him, make sure not to say anything like that to any male who approaches you asking you to date. If you are not attracted, saying No because I am not attracted isnt good because the word attraction seems to be tied closely with looks. How about remembering to say, No thanks, I don't feel any chemistry with you. And its partly true, there is a certain kind of chemistry that should be there in a relationship, without it, especially that romantic chemistry...its not going to last if you can't stand to hold hands, snuggle with or even kiss the guy.
If you tone up or lose weight, do so only if you need to health wise for your self not for some guy. For all I know, you could be a very small, normal weight girl.
I knew a gal smaller than me so way under 110 lbs. She was married to an ass of a guy. She told us girls at a party that her husband was telling her she was getting too fat. We all thought she was kidding us until we heard it from his mouth, he starts barking at her about she shouldnt eat anything at this party, she's fat enough and if she doesnt lose her extra weight soon, he's gonna divorce her. Us ladies counseled her to divorce him right then and there. He had a warped view of what was normal body weight and he was controlling and abusive besides. It had been going on for years and he wont go for counseling.

Don't ever change anything about yourself dear to please a guy.
On a last note, there are men who have no particular preferance and consider "every representation of the feminine divine to be beautiful in it's many different forms." And thats how I heard it worded several times by men.

So let the guy go. Allow him to find the type of girl that he is visually attracted to. When in middle school, high school and even college, guys have not necessarily learned yet that personality and having that best friend thing with a girl and also romantic chemistry and attraction is more important than what hollywood and fashion industry says is important. Eventually they will grow up. In the meanwhile, be choosy when you date, don't settle for less, look for one of the few young guys who really do get in and know how to appreciate a girl and treat her well and love her for herself. They are harder to find at a young age but they are out there and worth spending the time to find. If you don't find one, know that you're not missing anything by not having a boyfriend. Wait a few years for them to mentally grow and mature and then try again.

21/F..So last weekend I had whati thought was the flu. I had a 104 degree fever, bad chest and nasal congestion, dizziness and some nausea. Lasted about 3 days. When it started I noticed some sores in my vagina, in the vulva, rihht around the opening of my vagina. That's the only place they were and there we maybe 4 or 5 of them. They looked like canker sores in your mouth do. I was worried I might have an std so I went to the doctor, they did a culture on the sores and a blood test but they didn't find anything. I have had the same one partner for 5 years now and haven't had sores before having the flu last week.it took about a week for the sores to heal up. So my question is what else could that have been?? I looked online and couldn't find anything like it other than herpes, but I was tested for that and it was negative.

Any advice would be helpful, thanks!

Since you mentioned the fever, I went to check the term 'fever blisters' to see what it was and if its related. I discovered it couldn't be fever blisters since those are actually Herpes 1 which occur only on the outside of the lips or near them. My mom had them all the time. There is some research going on to prove whether children can inherit in in their genes from a parent at conception and although more tests will continue, in 2008 the tests showed that indeed HHV-6 as they labeled it can reside in a child. They may never have an outbreak but it makes them more susceptible. Great stress to the body mentally, emotionally or physically to the immune system can trigger an outbreak if the person carried a form of the herpes virus, no matter how it was contracted.
Your partner may in effect be a carrier but have never had an outbreak and may never in his life ever have one. Since my mom had HV 1, it was already in my DNA. It wasn't until I got divorced and wanted to date that I got a test before for STD's and came out clear. After clearing the test, I had an outbreak, my first HV2. I was super stressed about having to move for the umpteenth time with no longer than 6-7 months in each location. I waited until ins. kicked in at my job and went to dr. and asked them to screen for stds. I asked if the herpes test is included. They said no, a general STD testing will not show herpes. They have to specifically set aside samples to test differently to check for herpes. Usually it isn't offered because not only are the majority of the population carriers nows so its a mute point, but it is also a more expensive test. So it has to be specifically asked for. Well isn't that a nice thing to know. My test came back positive.
So if I were you, I would ask my Dr. exactly what STD's they checked me for and if they specifically tested me for herpes.
Since you say they looked like canker sores, thats the final stage, after a blister popped open and now the healing process begins. Since canker sores occur only inside the mouth and cannot be passed by contact, it is not a canker sore. So it is either herpes, which they didn't catch cus the lab test was faulty or they never tested for it in the first place.
If it is Herpes, it's not surprising that it coincided with the stress to your immune system with the illness and resulting fever your body was fighting. Once my initial outbreak was triggered, I have continued to get them. So far only about once every 6 to 9 months so thats not too bad and usually one or two tiny blisters. It starts as a tingling sensation first in the nerve endings so the skin surface in a particular area may feel chaffed by your clothing when it is just a warning that an outbreak is about to start. Then you feel soreness as a blister forms but its most painful after it breaks. Thankfully I have high pain tolerance but Drs do have medication they can offer to help with the symptoms.
One way to tell you may need to be retested is if you have an outbreak like this again. Or don't wait until then, just ask to be tested again. You don't have to have an outbreak at the time to be tested for it. If its not herpes and it occurs again, it could be some new rare skin problem that hasn't been discovered and named yet and you may need to see lots of specialists before someone discovers what is going on and how to treat it. Don't suffer in silence if you do get it again. See the doctors and make them work to earn their living.

its normal? if the vagina is swelling?

You didn't provide enough info. If you are talking about changes that occur in lovemaking, yes there can be a swelling to the g-spot area, about 2 inches in on the navel side of the vagina. It is a spongy area right in front of your urethra (pee tube) This area when massaged correctly with result with this area engorging in blood and swelling as you put it, much like males penis also grows when engorged with blood. This is normal and comes with arousal.
If on the other hand you are speaking of the vagina and the outer lips being swollen, red, chapped, sore, maybe itchy, any discharge, you likely have an infection and need to go see your doctor. This does not go away by ignoring it.

I'll try to keep this short. About 2 years ago, I discovered my boyfriend putting pictures of girls faces on pornstar's bodies. The pictures were taken off of facebook. Not only did he do this, but he had countless folders of these girls stored away. Some, were his ex's. Others, were girls he had crushes on in the past.

They all live in the same town as I do, and while I was going to a local breakfast shop I saw one of the girls he had done this to. The girls don't know about the pictures, I haven't exactly told too many people. It wasn't her fault, I know that, but I felt my heart sink as soon as I saw her. I felt the same pain I had felt when I found out about all of the pictures, and I fear that this thing that happened will haunt me for forever.

Yes, I am still with the man who did this, because I have been trying to put the past behind me after he has assured me that he truly feels terrible for what he has done.

What also worries me is that I recently read an article about a man who devoted a whole website to actions much similar to what my boyfriend had done. He photoshopped pictures of girl's faces onto porn stars' bodies , as well. This man pushed the envelope further by falsely accusing the women to be whores, and planted the blame on them.(basically, he denied ever photoshopping the pictures. this was because the website was a forum, and people would degrade the women in the pictures) Eventually, so the article says, the man was forced to stop by the police, that this was a form of harassment, and he could get sent to jail if he didn't stop (sorry for the lack of detail)

However the point is that my boyfriend had thought to do this same degrading, terrible thing that this man was getting in trouble for, deeply disturbs me. The only difference is in my boyfriends point of viewm it was for his pleasure..

Still, it gives me a strange perspective.

I just don't know how to cope with this post-anxiety that seems to always creep up on me at random times, and I honestly feel emotionally mind-f*cked, to say the least.

I don't know where to go from here, since it's already been so long of a time. He seems to still really love and care for me, but I just can't shake the fact that there is a "what if" to it all. I also think that this type of behavior is abnormal and I am with someone who is always hiding something, or has a wall up.

Overall, I'm really just asking advice for my own sanity. What would be the best solution for me? How do I get out of this loop of insecurity?

Thank you

Basically, you're in a relationship where trust was broken and trust is a hard thing for someone to re-establish with a partner and takes a very very long time.
When we give ourselves to someone in a relationship, we hope they love us enough to uphold the very best for us, doing nothing that could hurt us, keeping our health, happiness and welfare at the highest level possible. It doesnt sound like he has the welfare of any female in mind when he does such trust breaking, degrading things using their photos.
I understand that in the world of sexuality there is a lot of fetishes and fantasies of what will be ugly and gross to the majority of us. And I understand that no matter how we can't get our minds around it, what one person likes for his sexual fantasies, is his own business as long as they don't attempt to force an unwilling participant to partake with him/her or using someones photos without their permission or knowledge. That is where he crossed the border. Whatever deep need he has deep down inside will not be changed so easily or go away when he utters the words, "I am sorry" or "I feel terrible about that."
For example,think of others with some compulsive or addictive behaviors, like A teen who cuts herself, may hate the fact she does and tell family she's sorry and wont do it ever again, but what caused the depression hasn't been taken care of so they continue to cut.

Why are you with him and why are you dating? Have you a desire to find and be with a man who is truly in love with you for long term whether married or not? Or are you looking to just find someone for companionship, a room-mate who also is your sex partner. With the first, there would be no question in your mind that he loves you, it's in all his actions, as well as his words. With the second one theres a good chance that there is love but not in love with. And if there is some kind of love, it is conveyed only in words, not backed up by actions. And this hon, is where you are at. He says he loves you but took an action that says the opposite but how he treated other females, especially old girlfriends. Also you use the words "He seems to still really love me..." which sounds very weak as if your subconscious mind is not convinced of this. IT bothers you more than you think or you would not have written us. Hey there's lots of relationships like yours where people stick together for who knows what reasons but the relationship but it is only a poor facsimile of what a real loving relationship can be. This is entirely your decision.

Currently you feel like you don't have enough information on him to be able to make a full informed decision to stay with him or no longer be in relationship with him. Thats your what if and feeling something is being kept hidden.

Since it bothers you this much, if you feel you are ready to hear the truth, even in the case you may not like it, then you might want to open a talk with him.
Myself, I would tell my partner that I have felt unsettled and still have not gotten over the discovery of two years ago. I keep feeling there is something more. I feel I don't know enough about him in certain areas of his life to know if it's something I can be ok living with or not. So I want to ask him to tell me all his sexual fantasies, all the stuff he still desires, rather than keep it a secret, cus some things I might be willing to participate in, and some I may not. I want it all out in the open rather than kept hidden which makes me feel uneasy and nervous. And you have to be willing to acknowledge whatever he shares as valid desires and not put him down for it. If he is willing to come out and be truthful...thats a big step. Once its out, if you feel he is still a keeper, but theres something you can't do for him sexual fantasy wise, and this is something that a person can't change about themselves sexually, then either you allow him to pursue that part of fantasies online with females who do role play for free or for pay. If permission is given, this is not cheating. There are few women who can do this and most men sense this so most will not confess to their fantasies and continue to do so in secret. Just because you don't know about it, doesn't mean its not happening behind your back.

After so much time spent living with this guy, you must have a good sense of his character, whether he is a man of his word, whether he can be trusted and counted on, etc...
But you are not feeling that. Through every day life, the way he handles himself in other situations and conversations with you and interaction with others, you should be able to see things that confirm to you his good character or only reinforce a flaky one. I am guessing that your subconscious mind is picking up on the things your conscious awake mind isn;t, the things that perhaps confirm a flaky character and thats why after 2 years you still have no trust.

My boyfriend did by me some thing for Christmas this year he bought me the cutest necklace for Christmas and then my aunt told me that since he told me that he bought me something befors he actually gave it to me that I needed to buy him something because she knew thst I would feel bad if I didn't since he bought me something so she went and took me to the store and loaned me some money and told me that I could pay her back when I could and if I coudnt I didnt have to so she helped me pivk him out some addidas colougne and a Duck Dynasty T shirt for him for Christmas. I think our relationship is already starting to get serious because even though we have only been dating 2 weeks we have already been on 5 dates in this little amount of time. Also he will do little things to show me he cared about me like before he goes to work he will text me just to tell me goodmorning and tells me he will call me when he gets off work. We have already decided we would date only each other. Oh and my mom told me the other day that she has been praying for years ever since we were both in high school together when I was in the 9th grade and he was in the 10th grade and now years later when we have both graduated from highschool I am dating the guy my mom wanted me to date when I had no ide as that she wanted us to date. I hope this helps and thank you so much for any help you can give me . I really do appreciate it.

I started to answer and lost the piece. Maybe you got it and it was sent. Sounds like a true serious relationship to me. I know my previous ideas won't cut it if you're that special to him.
Men are visual and visual reminders of their lady love are more important to them than any other gift if he's falling in love or already in love.
I once bought a 2 dollar glittery red heart for my hubby to hang from his rear view mirror and every time he saw it hanging in his car he was reminded of our love for each other. He has favorite pics of me on his cell phone or computer that he can look at anytime I am not around. This also makes a perfect gift. If you have a digital camera and know how to download onto computer and put into a folder for him and then load that onto a chip so he can put it on both his computer and download to his phone, he'll be a happy man. If he has an office job at a computer, you might want to make one g-rated file just for that. All this takes is time, someone as your photographer who has a good eye for details who will notice a hair strand you need to smooth or raise your chin, etc... The trick to getting the few great useable shots is to take 300 or so shots in one setting, moving your body an inch or so at a time for each new shot and eventually one will catch the light and angles of you just right and look real professional. Make photos for every occasion of the year too, pull the bunny ears and old easter basket out of the closet. Make some funny and cute and others sexy and hot. No x rated just in case you're daring enough, cus that kills the mystery of the little that can't be seen. And the allure is in the little bit hidden. I have one shot my hubby took of many of me in a black witches dress for Halloween to post on FB years ago. Its so good I pull it out to post each year. Its velour and clings to my curves and has a slit up the front in the middle. 2nd hand store find. The best shot is me with bottom and feet on the wide ledge of a wall with knees bent, and I let one leg closest to photographer dangle off the edge. This creates a gap exposing a bare leg that travels a ways up the leg but ends before getting near your crotch. A photo like that of you will likely be one of his favorites. Other sexy shots, top falling off one shoulder baring it, puckering up like for a kiss. If you need inspiration for such photos, just look at images on the web, doing a search for sexy pics, sexy poses, alluring poses, and i am sure you'll find some ideas. These kinds of much more personal gifts have a lot more impact.
Good luck dear.

I live with both my mother and stepdad and I love both of them very much, but I have a much stronger relationship with my mother than my stepdad, and he doesn't do anything about it. Does this mean anything?

By stronger relationship, I assume you mean amount of time spent together, one on one not in family events.
Not feeling really close to someone could be a couple different reasons, all perfectly natural and nothing to be concerned about.

It could be you feel drawn more to a certain personality type which doesnt mean he's a bad person, your and his personalitys dont click as easily as yours and moms.

Also, a young teen and college age girl (which I assume you are), can be drawn more to another close female, mom, during the years of puberty and through those of dating and falling in love. Its more about having someone who can relate to what you are going through which is a big thing right then.
If you feel like you can be doing something more, then try seeking him out around the house when he's by himself, ask if he doesnt mind company at the time cus he may need to concentrate on what he's doing. But if he accepts, just sit and chatter away telling him about whats going on in your life, any hopes and dreams and then ask him to tell you stories about himself at your age...what were his hopes and dreams. People like to tell stories about themselves. You don't have to do anything special together, just have those talks, like I did with my dad. It made me feel very close to him. I could tell he enjoyed it too. It gave him a chance to tell me of some observations hes made about me and to compliment and encourage me.

My name is Rachel and I a m 24 years old and my boyfriend is 25 years old and we have been dating 2 weeks today and I just bought him something for Christmas bug Valentine's day is Febuary 14th and then his birthday is Febuary the 22nd and I have no idea what to get him for either one because they are really close together like a week apart and I don't have much money because I don't have a job right now and I am flat broke . I know that be likes Duck Dynasty Grof Georgia Bulldogs and he is a really big christian and so for his birthday I want to get him some thing that has to do with his interests but have no idea exactly what to get him for his birthday and I have no idea what to get him for Valentine's day any ideas are greatly appreciated thanks in advance for any help.

You've only dated two weeks dear. He may seem like the one, but spending what little money or saving it up to buy him something when you don't know whether he will still be around then is thinking too far ahead. Unless the both of you have verbally made a commitment to date only each other. However, commitments like that don't come so early on when the two need to date for a while to discover first if this is someone they want to commit to. During this discovery period of dating there are no gifts required. Did he get you a Christmas gift. If he did, then he thinks alot like you and I would go ahead and create something handmade for him. If he did not get anything and he has not made a heart commitment to you by Valentines day yet, then don't expect to recieve anything from him.
If you're the only one buying gifts and he isn't, it could make you look desperate for a guy.
If you can tell that the relationship is getting serious quickly by how he goes out of his way to uphold you and support you, say encouraging things, compliment, do special things, even ordinary things without having to be asked, then its appropriate to compliment back, a guy needs to feel needed and appreciated. And doing special little things to show how much you appreciate him will say much more than a store bought gift anyways. A homemade coupon book is a wonderful gift. One coupon could be for a relaxing scalp massage or a shoulder rub, another he turns in to get you to bake him a batch of cookies, another could say its good for one big Bear hug, or a late night call just to hear your voice, a bowl of popcorn and watching a DVD his choice at home, 20 kisses in a row... you get the idea. A homemade candlelight dinner, once you discover what some of his favorite foods are is thoughtful and great for a birthday and then if he wants to do anything else, knowing you have no money he can pay jsut to have your company along for rollerskating, bowling, going dancing or out to a movie. There must be other things based on your talents. going out dancing or to a movie after If you're great at writing, write a poem, romantic, or funny stuff incorporting the things you mentioned he likes.

I am a 22 year-old college student, and I live at home with my parents and my grandmother. My 28 year-old older sister lives away from home, and is in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend of four years.

Today I went to mass with my mom, and I never noticed how badly my sister's situation affected her. For awhile she told told me that she chose not to get involved in the situation, and that my sister made her choice. In her opinion, she chose her boyfriend over the family.

Before leaving mass she suggested that I light a candle for my paternal grandmother who passed away in February, and since I know the kind of relationship that she holds with members of that side of the family I was kind of puzzled. So I kept on asking her why she was crying over her death, and she told me that it was because my grandmother would have been there to talk to her about this situation when she was alive and healthy.

I am very concerned about my mother because she's not the healthiest person. Yet, admittedly, I'm not the right kind of person to go to about the situation I'm too temperamental, passionate, high-strung, and I hate when certain things like this are out of my control. Also, under certain circumstances in the past, I have not been the best person to go to in drastic situations although I do try to be supportive.

I have no idea what to do, I have tried talking to my sister but this always turns into a fight. As far as she's concerned, regardless of the situation that occurred between them less than two months ago in which her friends and family found out about her situation with her boyfriend, she's happy and safe and he's in love with her. I can't help but think that she's only there because her boyfriend is controlling the situation.

My mom is not the healthiest person in the world. She has diabetes that went untreated for years, this condition left her blind in one eye, unable to wear heels, and with her kidneys unable to function properly making it where she needs to go to dialysis every other day.

The main thing is that unlike most people, she does not have a close group of girl friends who she can hang out with to get her mind off of things. This probably results from the fact that she has never been particularly involved in her community, and she doesn't work.

So, how do I handle this situation? I told her to go to church and ask to speak to a priest (we're Catholic), to talk to a cousin who she grew up with, and to even talk to my sister's friend who has been extremely helpful in this situation, and has definitely shown that if we need to talk to she's there for us.

I agree that something like that can be heart breaking to witness and not be able to do anything about. All the family can do is love and support her, by just being there for her to talk to. You don't have to offer a solution or discover a way to fix things for there isn't anyway you can do but just pray that your sister eventually comes to her senses. thats what my family had to do for me. I am the sister who got married to an abusive man. He fooled the whole family including me, a church going man and things were pretty ok 1st year but after that his real self came out for all to see and it wasn't pretty. Family advised me to leave him but i stayed because of religious beliefs that God did not like divorce. So how mom did I end up leaving him? It wasn't by family suggesting I do, it was a decision that came from internally, something I processes through with non other than the gentle whispered guidance of God, my angels and my own inner voice of my higher conscious. Its a good idea to see the pastor, perhaps there is such a thing as a support group for parents of abused children. Mom might want to let her doctor know of her mental anguish as it can affect her physical health, although most medical doctors work only with physical ailments and dont take into account the effect of feelings and emotions upon the physical health, however naturopathic, homeopathic doctors and othes of alternative medicine do. In alternative medicine, there are option for helping with releasing the stress, and negative energies. If mom ever decides its something she'd like to try, let me know and I will describe some of them and where to begin looking.

Good luck dear

I'm 13 and just got my period, but I do swimming 5 times a week and scared of using pads and tampons. don't want to tell my parents and im so stressed I just want it to stop I need help.

The being scared is fear and as humans we fear changes, it makes us uncomfortable so its normal to experience fear. We also fear that which we do not understand. And the solution to that is to educate ourselves.
Of course it will feel awkward discussing something so personal the first time, but remember, mom is a female too and also has had a period for years and it is a natural thing to her.
No one is going to appreciate you missing on swimming that often if your part of a team, or doing nothing and bleeding into the water. That is a possibility of spreading germs.
So you are stuck with having to learn to use something. A tampon is going to be the best easiest to use for a beginner. You may be tight and small but you can always start with the smaller tampon and the ones in plastic applicators glide in more easily. The vagina when a female is not aroused/making love, is only about 3, 4 inches long. So you need to push it is as far as it can go becuase otherwise, I as learned as a teen, I didnt put it in far enough so about a quarter of it was really sticking out which is pretty uncomfortable. You feel it, like something is in the way when you sit or walk. If your vagina is too dry for the applicator you might want to try a personal lubricant on it like KY jelly or some other. If you're 13, you probably don't have your own money to spend on this kind of stuff so you will need to let mom know.

There are other options too for periods now but I am not sure if they are in the pharmacys or must be ordered on line but I am giving you a video that discusses them all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_616334&feature=iv&src_vid=e1x5xvHmhqo&v=Ualuem6zFT0

I put this under love life but i'm sure that it can fall under family as well. It's kind of a conflict. I have tried taking care of this myself, but i have come to the realization that sometimes you need advice from other people. I will tell you a little bit about myself, firstly. I am a 23 year old female and I am a teacher. I just finished my bachelors degree, so I am only working part time now doing tutoring in a school in an after-school program. So, I can't really move out of my house right now. I've been living at home throughout college and while it has had it's benefits, I believe that it was a huge mistake. I kind of feel bad saying that because I mean, a lot of good stuff has come out of it. But, at the same time, it was also an error because my family has not taken me seriously as an adult. I thought things might be different once I graduated but it hasn't changed. Now, I need to wait until I can start teaching full time next year in order be able to move out of the house.

The problem has only gotten worse when it comes to my love life. I have been dating my boyfriend for about two years now. Everything was perfectly fine until one day, my mom started to hate him. When I tell you the reason, you will not believe it. It was because one of his family members got married in the morning and my mom believes that weddings should be at night. After that, she has only found more and more problems with him. Everything has come to be a problem. He can't do anything right in her eyes. She is already giving me a set time to do things. She'll say things like: by the end of the year, I want him gone. Before you start giving my mom credit for having a maternal instinct, let me give you some background on her. My mom is not mentally stable. I was adopted at birth and since that day, she has always wanted me to be something I'm not. When I was in high school, she would hack into my social networks and her goal was for me to be popular. She would say things like "look who I made you. You would never be who you are now without me." She made me wear hair extensions against my will, spray tan, bleach my hair, etc. I've been like her little doll ever since I was born. No guy has ever been good enough for her. She has never liked any boyfriend I've ever had. Before going on the appropriate medication, my mom would throw herself on the floor and begin screaming "they can't take the baby! they can't take the baby!" whenever it was a holiday. She hates holidays. So, today naturally became an argument because later on today, I am going to the movies with my boyfriend.

Now, my mom has gotten a lot better with the new medication that she is on and I still love her, despite everything, because she is my mom. She wanted me to spend Christmas eve with her and the family last night. So, I complied with her wishes and told him I couldn't go to christmas eve at his house. I felt like I had made a horrible decision because the night resulted in everyone shutting me out, and even an argument because I mentioned a surgery in the family that other family members didn't know about. But, no one had told me that. There are some family members who are American and only speak English. Other family members are hispanic, and speak english and spanish. but, around the american family members, they always speak in spanish and talk bad about them. it makes me feel so uncomfortable. I hate that. They are having issues with those family members and I can surely see why now. I wouldn't have even come if I were them, but I understand that they wanted to see the children in the family.

Now, there are some issues I have noticed when it comes to my boyfriend. First and foremost, it is issues regarding faith. I am a baptist christian. When I first met him, he claimed to be a Christian. I then find out that his family is into witchcraft, and if you are a Christian, you probably understand why this is a concern. No matter what, no matter how far I move away, those will be my children's grandparents if he is the father. And I don't want my children getting confused or thinking that's ok. I don't mean to offend anyone. It's just that these are serious things to consider when you are thinking about marrying someone. When you marry someone, you truly do marry their family. And I'm not the type of person who just goes through the motions at church. I am very involved and very active. So, you can see why this would be of concern when it comes to having children in the future. He may not believe in the witchcraft thing, but he thinks that it is okay. Then comes the issue that he has tons and tons of homosexual friends. I am NO ONE to judge. As a Christian, I know that God can only judge me or anyone else. And I am a sinner as well so I have no place judging other people's sins. But, these people come to events and bring more homosexual people and everyone is making out. This is not something I want to expose my children to. It has already happened with my family and they felt extremely uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable. It would be uncomfortable if straight couples were making out and touching each other in my living room. Again, no intentions to offend anyone. But, you see where I'm coming from.

But, the problem is that I'm afraid that I'm picking on things because of my mom. And I already saw last night how my family is (not that I didn't know before). And if I left... I'd be leaving one thing for something worse. I don't know what to do or what to think. Can someone please help me?

xoxo

Before you got to the point of saying mom had mental issues, your description of her actions had me thinking she has mental issues.
Your mom's control of you and trying to shape you into something she wants and control and dictate your choices is very unhealthy. Of course I am sure you see that. Have a talk with your pastor in private. You might try to explain without going into too much detail, why you need to get out of the house and what is preventing you. Could he think of any church member who could give you a place to live for health and sanity sake even tho you can't afford to really pay much. You would of course move out when ever you finally get a full time job. If thats not a possibility, then do you have cousins or some aunt, any family that you do like and trust that you could ask to stay with?
Thats the first issue, being in a healthier living environment.

Now as to the boyfriend being a worse situation, I will admit I believe in Jesus and God and have a Christian background but I am more free thinking now and followed what I felt Holy Spirit exposing to me. It was for a reason...to gain perspective and I now see how narrow minded the church can be.
I have come to know pagan people under which you find what you are refering to as witchcraft or wiccan. Christians are under the assumption that if someone is calling themselves pagan or witch that it means they are Satanists. I used to believe this and steered clear of them. While satanists do exist as a cult, and will call themselves witches perhaps too, I'd have to say that 99% of the pagans/witches are not Satanists and in fact do not believe in the devil to begin with. I have found among the pagans, in general people who were more accepting and loving following the 'love your neighbor as yourself' commandment better than the actual christians. However, among Christians or pagans I have found within both groups people who truly are following and serving the creator and also those who have no clue and in innocense say and do things that are very contrary to the beliefs they have. Pagans have their version of the 'love your neighbor' creed, "If it harm none, do as you will." When Constantine became a Christian, he wanted to increase his power by getting the majority of population which were 'pagan' to convert and it was at this time changes were made to christian holidays, to the bible. In fact, the Holy Spirit was always listed in the bible as a She. Pagans believe in a Goddess, and some in a team God and Goddess, Lord and Lady. So what we might think of a wicked thing, worshiping a Goddess may in fact be Pagans giving honor and credit to the same entities Christians do, just by another name, Jesus being the Lord and Holy Spirit the Lady or the Goddess they follow. I know pagans who pray and get answers to their prayers because they are in actuallity as far as I'm concerned, praying to the same God, different practices by the human observers of each faith/belief. Each one has a piece of the truth as I have come to learn but also each belief, including Christianity also has some falsehoods and misconceptions. I won't even tackle the stance of Christians on homosexuals right now. If you'd like to hear another possible way to handle that issue, then write me again.
Concerned about spells and such? I can demystify them. I have heard of pagans, like christians praying for God to allow a negative thing to happen to someone or a group. I had an old pastor once praying for a piece of property the church wanted to build but the words coming out of their mouths were asking God to do terrible things to them. I was in shock and yet they thought they were in the right. I have seen pagans do the same in error. But the majority, have their sayings, mostly rhymes to make it easier to remember, like we quote Psalm 23 or the Lords Prayer. There is an 'intent' there when we pray, we are asking for God to bless, heal, provide, etc... same for pagans. They pick a situation, such as finding a new job or gaining more income and their spell has certain candles or items they may use while they recite their poems, the items they say are only to help them focus their intent, there is no power in the items or really in the words themselves for that matter, but in our intent.
It seems to me that a great majority of witches/pagans have begun to master something that their christian counterparts are so far behind on. That we have a creator, and is we're made in his image, then we should be able to create by focus of our intent. I have come to understand that focus. I can truly say if I have an ailment and want healing, I am more likely to have an energy healer a christian would consider pagan, lay hands on me than a christian. I have prayed with both groups and whereas christians may see some answers, there is more often answers in the other group.
I could go on in clarifying what a witch is not.

You must evaluate this man for himself, not whether his family goes against the very creed they say they believe "If it harm none then do as you will'.

What counts most is how this young man treats you. Is he a very loving person? I had a Christian husband for 30 yrs. He was never in love with me and was verbally abusive all of that time. You can't go by a person's so called beliefs to know whether they have a good heart. You'll find messed up guys in every faith and belief on the earth. You have to assess each one for themselves. "Just because you find a mouse in a cookie jar, that doesnt make him automatically a cookie."
Don't toss out this guy as a possibility for you. Trust God to tell you. Be ready to hear answers that may be opposite to what you expect or have been told all these years.

I have one last question. So during that while spill, Zach have me Kenneth's number. Should I text him, or wait until after I work with him again and pay attention to his body language? I saw him tonight briefly. I went to McDonald's with a friend, and my friend Taylor was on break (she works there also) and she said Kenneth came up to her and asked "Does destiny work this week?" And she of course said no because I'm off for the next week or so, going out of town. And he replied "oh, we'll that must suck." And I think maybe be was going to say "that sucks" but changed it so she wouldn't think he was looking forward to see me. Or he was thinking "that sucks." I have noticed a little about his body language. One night I was handing him a broom and dustpan, and he touched my hands when he took it from me. He could have just grabbed it, but he put his hands over mine. Lol, anyways, should I text him or no?

There's no problem etiquette wise for gals making contact like that first or making the first move.
Just a thought here though...since the two have kinda been playing games with you, how do you know its really Kenneths number just because he said it is, it could be his own number. Just didn't want you to be totally unaware and shocked if thats the case when you call.

Yeah the handtouch thing is a clear sign and when you start looking for it, you will notice more.

Whether he wanted a chance to wish you Merry Christmas or can't stand the thought of not seeing you for that long, I think it would be sweet of you to call. If it's truly his number, Make it short since it's
for him too unless you call in a couple days in which case you can wish him a Happy New Year.
You might be bold enough to state at some point that whether he wanted Zach to give you the number or Zach did it on his own, the fact that you are calling means you have a genuine interest in him and getting to know him better. He may feel freer to talk without Zach or other coworkers looking over his shoulder. Young people tend to be so self conscious of what others will think if they are interested or start dating and it really shouldn't be that way. Instead of that, he may be somewhat shy or it's his first real crush so he feels awkward and unexperienced. Then theres also a chance he did date once and the girl broke his heart so he's a bit gunshy this time around with you.
If it ends up to not be his number, I think you can still make it work. When you see him again, show him the paper with the number on it and tell him that Zach gave it to you saying it was Kenneths number. And you had wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas since you were off on vacation and wouldn't see it so you called and was disappointed to find out it was Zach's number.

And then, "While I'm at it, may I have your real number so we can keep in touch on days we're not both working, and here is mine for you to call me too." Or say some version of these in your own words. The choice of words should convey like these that you have a genuine interest in him, not Zach or anyone else. And Merry Christmas to you dear. Don't feel bad to need to write again, guys are sometimes really hard to understand.

So I'm 16 and I masterbaute and I've tried ALOT of things but I can't seem to reach an oragasm:/ I used a removeable shower head it kinda of works but soon as it's about to start it all just stops! I also tried a tooth brush that used to work not anymore though! I tried a carrot with a condom over it but it didn't work:( i need help what can I doo to reach one?

It could be a case of your mind not focused. I have trouble focusing my mind on occasion. The mind has been called the greatest sexual instrument. Its the imagining of and the looking forward to, dreaming about the experience before hand that can help heighten the experience. I have a creative mind that focuses on too many things at once so I still have to practice. That may be one issue for you.
Another may be how you feel things.
Some people have a high pain tolerance and others don't. What is excruciating pain sending others for pain killer meds is barely noticeable to another.
This kind of difference I believe can translate into how we feel with all our nerve endings in sexual excitement. I have high pain tolerance. So to have orgasms, I find a need a great intensity. Most pulsating shower heads are not strong enough to give me an orgasm. As for vibrating toys, if the battery isn't totally fresh, I already can feel the difference and its not intense enough.
this could also be part of the issue if you happen to have high pain tolerance. Not that orgasm is painful but nerves are still involved in both.
And lastly, I found I had to learn more about myself by exploring myself to find my G spot and A spot and how to achieve orgasms by hitting these spots the right way. It can help to read or watch videos about orgasms and the parts and how it all works, then you choose the intensity you need to get the orgasm. If you want some links to info on orgasms, let me know.

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