I was texting my boyfriend last night and I asked him why he hadn't been talking to me much. He downright told me that he wasn't sexually attracted to me because of my weight. What should I do? Should I break up with him?
lightasafeather answered Saturday December 28 2013, 1:23 pm: Yes, break up with him. Your boyfriend should love you for who you are. It's always possible that someone gains a little weight and it's no reason to stop talking to them. It's about personality, not looks!
And don't change for him. If you want to lose weight to feel better about yourself that's fine. But don't lose weight for him. As I said a guy should love you for who you are.
Please break up with him, he is not worth your time. [ lightasafeather's advice column | Ask lightasafeather A Question ]
lightoftruth answered Friday December 27 2013, 9:59 pm: Yeah, he's not worth it and love isn't about looks. Why would he even date you if he wasn't attracted to you? And whatever the answer is, it's extremely immature of him to stop talking you because he's not sexually attracted to you.
It's true that guys have different preferences in girls. Some like smaller girls, some like bigger girls but to stop talking to you because of how you look is extremely immature and he doesn't sound like a great boyfriend so you should break up with him and find someone who will love all of you. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
Dragonflymagic answered Friday December 27 2013, 9:43 pm: Yes honey,break up with him. He was looking for a way out anyhow. What I don't understand is why he agreed to date you if he didn't find you attractive to his tastes. So this is a lesson to you: Never date some guy, just because he asks you or if his looks are not appealing to you.
Just as people have their preferences in food, some love cauliflower and brocolli and others don't want it at all, its the same for tastes in looks of the opposite sex.
While it may be true he is not attracted to your body type, whether skinny, chubby, overweight or obese...women in all those catagories have men who really love them and the way their body looks is something they are attracted to because like food, people have their preferences in people.
Just as there are picky eaters, there are those who will eat any vegetable that grows on the planet, and so it is with those of the opposite sex, they will find every different type of person appealing in their own way.
At your age, females too can discover they are attracted more to certain types...I like brunettes more and find longer hair attractive but have a wide range in likes from hairy bodied to smooth baby skin on a guy. You will develop your own likes too.
Since you know how it hurts to be told your weight wasnt attractive to him, make sure not to say anything like that to any male who approaches you asking you to date. If you are not attracted, saying No because I am not attracted isnt good because the word attraction seems to be tied closely with looks. How about remembering to say, No thanks, I don't feel any chemistry with you. And its partly true, there is a certain kind of chemistry that should be there in a relationship, without it, especially that romantic chemistry...its not going to last if you can't stand to hold hands, snuggle with or even kiss the guy.
If you tone up or lose weight, do so only if you need to health wise for your self not for some guy. For all I know, you could be a very small, normal weight girl.
I knew a gal smaller than me so way under 110 lbs. She was married to an ass of a guy. She told us girls at a party that her husband was telling her she was getting too fat. We all thought she was kidding us until we heard it from his mouth, he starts barking at her about she shouldnt eat anything at this party, she's fat enough and if she doesnt lose her extra weight soon, he's gonna divorce her. Us ladies counseled her to divorce him right then and there. He had a warped view of what was normal body weight and he was controlling and abusive besides. It had been going on for years and he wont go for counseling.
Don't ever change anything about yourself dear to please a guy.
On a last note, there are men who have no particular preferance and consider "every representation of the feminine divine to be beautiful in it's many different forms." And thats how I heard it worded several times by men.
So let the guy go. Allow him to find the type of girl that he is visually attracted to. When in middle school, high school and even college, guys have not necessarily learned yet that personality and having that best friend thing with a girl and also romantic chemistry and attraction is more important than what hollywood and fashion industry says is important. Eventually they will grow up. In the meanwhile, be choosy when you date, don't settle for less, look for one of the few young guys who really do get in and know how to appreciate a girl and treat her well and love her for herself. They are harder to find at a young age but they are out there and worth spending the time to find. If you don't find one, know that you're not missing anything by not having a boyfriend. Wait a few years for them to mentally grow and mature and then try again. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
Razhie answered Friday December 27 2013, 7:55 pm: Yeah, probably should dump him.
If you are also unhappy with your weight, and it's something you want to change, then maybe it's worth talking to him about how totally wrong he was to address in this way.
But frankly, I wouldn't bother. At best, he's an immature ass, at worse he's a controlling, manipulative monster. Either way, you don't need to waste your time with him. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
Xui answered Friday December 27 2013, 7:49 pm: He is arrogant and insensitive, Yes you break up with him.
The guy is a judge mental ass who has no clue of what it means to love someone. Loving someone isn't about how they look, It's about who they are as a person. I pity this kid for the way he thinks, I really do.
Basically, He is a waste of space. Nobody is worth someones time who puts them down because of their appearance. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
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