Should I tell him how I feel about him or is it to soon ?
Question Posted Friday December 27 2013, 10:48 pm
I am 22 years old and I have been dating this guy it will be 3 weeks on Wendsday and I know this is kind of soon to be feeling this way but i am truely madly in love with him and I have know this guy since we were in the 11th grade so mabey I felt this way all along and my feelings for him just got stronger. How do I tell him without scaring him off ?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Pittguy answered Sunday December 29 2013, 11:34 am: It is obvious that your feelings are strong. However, as you had mentioned you have only been dating for three weeks. For most people I would assume, and based on my own experiences, three weeks is not usually long enough to know if you are actually in love with that person. So, while you may very well be in love, it would not be at all surprising that he isn't at that stage in the relationship yet.
Personally, I would consider giving it a little more time before you fully pour out your heart to him. The fact that you think you might possibly scare him off is an indicator that you have some reservations that he might not feel the same way. The longer you are together the more you'll have a feel for how he sees the relationship and might just be more confident in knowing whether or not you're going to get the answer you are hoping for.
Dragonflymagic answered Saturday December 28 2013, 12:20 am: I don't know your guy from Adam, so I have no way of knowing what might scare him off or if this profession of yours would not scare him.
Take into consideration that if he doesnt feel the same at the time you say so, he might feel forced to have to say the same to keep you happy. And he could end up feeling some resentment or anger at being put in this spot or feel trapped because he uttered those words. I read that from relationship coaches in the past.
Have you ever considered that the words 'I love you' are actually the wrong words for the situation because what you are feeling is great attraction to him that has grown through the years. It is hard to really know enough about a person to know if you really love them when you have not been spending lots of time together. Even though you knew him in school, that's not the same as dating over time. Love comes over time and with more revelation about who this person is. So have you thought of saying that you are very attracted to him and like him a lot. Blurting out these words too soon could put him under the impression that you are led more by your emotions than by wisdom, knowledge, experience, intuition. It could be okay but there are negative emotions too does he know for certain that you wont also be quick to anger too and not have good control over your emotions?
A guy may say I love you when in fact its the wrong word to use, he is trying to say he is very attracted to you and likes you a lot. I am a very articulate person with great intelligence and good communication skills. If I heard this, it would at least tell me the guy speaks before he thinks, that he is led more by his emotions than by wisdom, knowledge, experience, intuition. It could be okay but there are negative emotions too like anger. If he's so quick to love, he may be quick to anger too and not have a good understanding or control of his emotions.
Another misconception one can get is that she is a needy sort and is looking for a guy who will be her emotional support, someone for her to lean on and to live for cus she really doesn't have a life of her own.
I don't know if he will react adversely thinking any of that, so maybe you keep it quiet and wait for him to share it first, more men share that revelation first than woman do according to surveys taken. Or tell him you've been attracted to him for so long that now that you're dating, your feelings for him are getting stronger. Thats better than still saying I love you. But if you want, and cant resist, say, I feel like I am falling in love with you. (Becuase really its a process) and its softer than saying the final...I love you. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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