|
| |
|
Okay first off let me say that I've never asked advice from a advice column before but I feel that the circumstances are right for it. Female age: 20. So I just started this new job about a month ago and love where I'm working. I have a 1 year old boyfriend that is totally head over heels in love with me and has wanted to marry me since three months into the relationship. I love him but we kept having problems and therefore kept having an off again on again relationship. Anyways, I moved away from California to New Jersey after the last breakup that we had but recently got back together with him. At my new job there is this guy at work who I really like and could possibly later on be more than just a friend. Right now he is really interested in me but doesn't want a relationship right now do to female issues and I really can't afford another relationship while I have this one going on right now. So we recently decided to date see what each other is like and do the whole friends with benefits thing. I want that but don't know if I should with my boyfriend back in California thinking that Im the innocent girlfriend he once knew. My co-worker and I flirt almost everyday and he has been recently trying to get to the touchy-flirting stage at work. There is so much chemistry between us that I never have had with my boyfriend and I'm in a difficult situation here. It is true that I haven't been around my boyfriend in over 3 months to have sex with him so yes I am sexually deprived and want to jump on the new guy but do I really want to do that and possibly risk hurting my boyfriend. I told myself I would never cheat but now I see where they're thought process is right now. Please tell me what I should do. Friends with benefits with the co-worker or stay loyal to my on and off again boyfriend who I don't know whats going to happen with our relationship. Do I do it or don't I? The answer is..... (link)
|
You won't like my answer but I will give it anyway. :)
First, forget the old boyfriend. If you wanted him that badly, you wouldn't even be considering another guy. It isn't going to work out in the long run. Tell him you've met someone else and put an end to it for good.
The new guy may be okay. However, do not start this relationship on the wrong foot. Tell him you will be happy to date him & get to know him, BUT, until he is interested in a relationship...no benefits. I'm not kidding. Give it away without commitment and you will NEVER get one.
So date him, flirt with him and make him want a relationship. Don't fall for any other lines. You don't want a relationship with him until his other "female issues" are resolved. That just sounds like a good excuse.
|
|
I do let her "do her thing" with her friend. The problem is that she makes plans as a couple with her friend (and the husband). I always have a miserable time -- although I pretend to have a good time -- and then my wife and I always end up fighting, because she is having such a good time, and she knows I'm not, or I'll say something about her friend. Worse yet, her friend invites us to their beach house for a weekend in the summer and that is torture for me. (link)
|
Before she has a chance to make plans for you again, talk to her. Tell her that as she knows, you do not enjoy the company of her friend & her husband. Then, you need to tell her NOT to make ANY plans with the couple that involve you going along. Tell her you will not be going along again. Ever. If she wants to go on her own, wonderful. But you will not be going. The end.
I suppose she could get angry and end up fighting you. BUT, that happens whenever you go out with them anyway. One more argument & you're done. Don't back down and go anyway.
Don't say anything bad about her friend, just say that while you know she enjoys her company, you don't.
|
I was watching a movie & one of the characters said
this...life is a uncureable disease what exactly does that mean? Just curious
Also sorry if the question isn't in the right category (: (link)
|
Basically they are saying we're all gonna die.
No way to stop it. Its not curable. :)
|
What bra size do u think I wear? Just wondering. Here are some pictures.
http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab114/Mii_Ph0t0z/6332_1103541829459_1254136057_30281.jpg
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e22/hotsauce_n_spyda_r_fine3/ngfhfgh.jpg
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e22/hotsauce_n_spyda_r_fine3/maggies108.jpg
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e22/hotsauce_n_spyda_r_fine3/maggies110.jpg
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e22/hotsauce_n_spyda_r_fine3/maggies104.jpg (link)
|
Its impossible for someone to look at you and guess a bra size for you.
Here is the proper way to measure for bra size.
http://www.barenecessities.com/fit_sizing.aspx
Edit: If you aren't wanting to really know your bra size then I am going to assume you are posting pictures of yourself in an attempt to get attention.
That isn't allowed here, so your question is being deleted.
|
|
I hate one of my wife's best friend. We just went out with the couple and I had a terrible time. My wife and I ended up having a huge fight over this. Any ideas on what I can do? (link)
|
Let the women be friends & do things by themselves.
Don't make it a couple thing. You don't have to like all her friends, and she'll have to understand
that you just don't enjoy being a part of the friendship.
|
|
If I get a juicer and I juice my veggies, will that have equal benifit to eating them? I like them juiced, I just don't really like the way a lot of them taste when they are cooked and eaten, But I really like juice like ummm Naked Juice and getting Juice from the Juice Store where they mix cellery and fruit and like spinich. Ok thanks for the replies! :) (link)
| |
I don't see why not! I don't like them cooked either. Sounds like an excellent way to get vegetables in your diet to me. Go for it!
|
|
my boyfriends sweet 16 is next weekend and i wanted to get him a zippo lighter and it be personalized with his name, music notes and a cute saying, its $20 and theres a store for it in the mall but i dont know if it would be offensive to him. he is like hardcore straightedge and gets mad at me because our friends smoke alot but we dont. its not ment to be for smokeing i just like lighters for art and insence and concerts and stuff. i got him a bob marley lighter before for no reason but it was cheap. weve ben going out for a year and a half (link)
|
It wouldn't be offensive, but why not get him something useful to him? Something he can show his parents should they ask what his girlfriend got him for his birthday, ya know?
His parents may be different, but the first thing I would think is, why do you need a lighter? I agree
they are useful for things other than smoking, but parents don't always think rationally when it comes to their teens in this world.
Does he use or carry around the other lighter you got him?
My opinion doesn't matter. You know him best! Just
giving you a different prospective. :)
|
17/f
gahhhh i'm about to rip this guys head off because he's soooo confusing!!!!!!
so me and this guy had a thing for a while (a few months) while i was dating my boyfriend. ( i know i know.. that was a mistake and its wrong, dont need the lecture) and all of a sudden he stops talking to me... everytime i try to text, he wont answer. he wont pick up my calls. sometimes he even picks up and then hangs up right away. i tried inboxing him on facebook but he wont respond. i checked his wall and he's on sometimes and he talks to his friends. one time i even saw him post this on a girls wall "hey we haven't talked for a while, you should text me sometime" WTH!!! then today i just checked his page and it wont come up on search pages... meaning he deleted his facebook account. i searched his other friends and checked to see if they were still friends with him, and they aren't.
I have NO clue what's going on... its so sudden. I have a slight idea that maybe he's busy with college classes and work and family.. but why would that be an excuse as to treating me this way??
what do i do?? i still really really really REALLY like him... like i can't stop thinking about him and checking my phone to see if he responded. gahhhh he's soooo confusing!!! HELPPPP. thanks (link)
|
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he's dumped you. Not in a very good way, as a matter of fact in a very cowardly way. Wish I could agree
that he's just mad at you so you'll feel better, but I'm old and deal in reality.
It will be a little hard for you to get your mind around since the jerk didn't bother to tell you how he felt or why. You are going to have to move on though.
Look at what you wrote. Put it all together. He won't talk to you. He won't answer your texts. He has even gone so far as to delete his facebook account so you can't find him. He is not any more busy than he ever was, he just wants you out of his life and is to chicken to face you. There is no excuse for the way he is treating you, some guys are just asses.
What do you do? You move on. Forget him. Do not attempt to contact him anymore. Find a guy who will treat you right.
|
|
how do you make it hurt less?? (link)
|
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. any loss of a friend or loved one takes time to get over. You really can't make it hurt any less, you need to grieve. It is normal and just something you have to experience in order to accept it.
To make it a little easier on yourself take comfort from family and friends. They may not always know just the right thing to say, but being with them and talking about good times with your lost friend, will help. If you are a religious person, take comfort in your faith.
There is no set time on how long it takes to get over a loss. It varies. It should get easier to accept over time.
I think its important to mention also that it IS ok to accept it and move on. Moving on with living your life does NOT mean you didn't care. It is normal also. We never forget lost lost loved ones. They will reappear in memories forever.
|
15/f
I've been looking for a job for about 3 months now and i've had no luck so far. I have made a resume and handed it out to numerous shops around my area. All my friends have jobs in fast food but i don't really feel comfortable handling other peoples food.
What are some other things i can do to help me in my job hunt or to put on my resume? (link)
|
Are you following up? Don't just drop off a resume.
Give them a few days and call or stop in and ask if they have looked at it yet. Let them know you are eager to work!
You should also go in early with your resume. Most managers and those with the power to hire are in early. You could get an on the spot interview, so dress neatly.
Good luck!
|
Lately it seems liek I just pass out randomly! I was with my friends and I blacked out at the mall. I was just sitting in a chair and then I was flopped on the table. I don't know if I should go to the doctor or not. Does this happen to anyone else or is there something really wrong with me?
If I don't need a doctor then how do you keep from blacking out randomly?
Thanks you! (link)
|
Black outs, fainting, syncope usually does not mean there is something drastic wrong with you. However, if it happens often, you probably need to see a doctor to find out what the cause might be.
You don't say how old you are, but you don't want to drive, or learn to drive and have this happen to you. You are risk for fall injuries too. So do see
a doctor & find out why this is happening.
For more information, use this search.
|
My mom has 3-8 weeks left to live.
I'm so depressed.
what do I do?
17/f (link)
|
Spend every minute you can with her. Talk to her, ask her questions about her life. Ask her questions about yours. You have plenty of time to be depressed later. Its normal. Just don't let it
interfere with the time you have left now.
|
14/female
my best friend is going to have a baby and she is 13, she didn't mean to get pregnant but she did. she told me that she doesn't want to be a mother, and she isn't ready for this baby. Her boyfriend is 15 and he doesn't know what to do, she is living with him and his parents.and she doesn't believe in abortion. I want to know what are the chances of her having a miscarriage, will her age affect the her or/and the baby's health? or if anyone has had a teen pregency or knows someone who had...any information or advice will help thanks! (link)
|
You mean this 13 year old girls parents are allowing her to live with a 15 year old boy & HIS parents? Poor girl.
Of course she isn't ready to be a mother. 13 year old girls are not women. Its kind of late to be thinking of that now though.
If she doesn't believe in abortion, she shouldn't be encouraged in that direction. She has enough to deal with without adding mental anguish.
All teen pregnancy's are "high risk" pregnancy's.
A 13 year olds body is not ready to deal with a pregnancy. The mothers health and life is at high risk for trouble. Proper medical supervision is extremely important.
Miscarriage shouldn't be a worry & I hope this isn't a "how to" question. That would put the mothers life in danger. I'm sorry if that isn't what you were asking. I had to add it because I have been here a long time & it has been asked
many times before.
I have had a teen pregnancy. Many years ago, and I was 17. I'm not judging just telling you like it is.
Your friend needs to be home with her parents. She is not an adult yet regardless of her condition. The boyfriend can be held responsible without her living with his family. Regardless of how she feels about the boyfriend, she is a child
herself and needs her parents. Her pregnancy is going to be stressful enough, she needs to be home. Encourage her to go there unless it is an abusive home.
|
I have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. 7 months so far. Honestly, it took him 3 years to get over his last gf who broke up with him. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore, he's much too needy, but I'm literally scared he'll show up at my door if I break up with him. We live in 2 different countries. I'm scared of hurting him, but I'm tired of this relationship. It's not what I want, and he tells me he loves me 24/7, but I really don't feel the same. I'm lying to him by telling him that I do.
I don't want to keep this going on any longer. He talks about marriage, and kids with me, and buying an apartment. I've only known him for 10 months!! Ahh, & to make matters worse he's interfering with my school work. He gets so pissed when I say I need to go study/do my work. To avoid fighting, I literally just stopped doing my work. But I'm an A student, and I'm so tired of messing up my grades for him.
I need someone to please help me figure out the best way to tell him I want to end this, and what to say. I don't want to be cruel, but I want to make it clear it's over. Thanks! (link)
|
You simply tell him the relationship is no longer working for you.
Since you say you are scared he will show up at your door, I will assume you have good reason to feel that way because of something in the past. If
you are really afraid, let family & friends know what is going on. If its necessary for your piece of mind, tell him you will call the police if he tries to contact you in person. Then do it if needed.
He really sounds like someone who i a little nuts.
Just tell him its over and move on with your life. You are not responsible for his.
If he doesn't take the news well, do not argue with him. Simply hang up, change your phone number if possible & get a new email address.
Totally ignore him. It may sound rude, but if he doesn't get it when you tell him nice, get rude about it.
|
|
my mother is an alcoholic, she goes on and off being sober like ny other alcoholic. Well now that im getting older ive started to relize the severity of the situation. She has no license and has so many criminal records its not even funny. She will never be able to find a job where she can support herself and she will never be able t live alone. I will not spend the rest of my life taking care of her. I need to get out and create a life for myself. She hasnt gotten alot worse and has currently been drunk for five days now. I wont be able to afford putting her anywhere and she wont go willingly anywhere, my family and i have tried many times. I live in Indiana, i there anyone who can help me or have any information that could be of use thank you. (link)
|
They have a website, but you need to contact al-anon.
They have been helping families for a very long time. I took some alcohol & drug abuse counseling classes and had to go to a meeting for a class paper
I wrote. The family members who used it said it was a lifesaver for them.
Here is the 800 number. They can give you information on meetings in your area.
1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) Monday through Friday, 8:00am to 6:00pm ET.
Here is the website, they have some meetings listed by state. If you don't find yours, call them. Not all are listed.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
|
Ok so I have two dogs ones a border collie mix the others a husky mix. Needless to say that's a lot of hair. I vacuum every other day and that seems to keep it under control but I need some advice on what to do with my bed!
My dogs sleep with me every night. They shed. A lot.
I used to have these cheap sheets I bought from target. They were 100% cotton and they were actually really good for the dog hair I could shake it and it would all fall right off. Problem was they were cheap sheets and thus poor quality sheets, I wanted something better.
So I recently went out and bought some good sheets. They too are 100% cotton but more expensive and higher thread count. But these new sheets are like duct tape to the hair. I can shake and shake and shake and it just clings right on there. The only way to get it off is to use a lint roller...but it takes like 30 sheets of the sticky stuff!
I want some nice quality sheets that I can shake the hair off of. But I can't understand the difference in the two because they are both 100% cotton.
Is there something to do with the higher quality that attracts the hair?
What is the best kind of sheets for me to get that will be able to release the hair? (link)
|
Well, nice quality sheets covered with dog hair makes them not so great! LOL.
Go back to the cheaper ones if those worked. Just buy some extra ones. :)
|
16/f.
The other night I was at a party and so was my ex-boyfriend. We'd hardly seen each other in a year but he's still very important to me and I care about him very much (was also my first love). Anyway, although we basically never speak anymore, we were both really drunk and upset about different things, & we were on our own & having a heart-to-heart, then we both started crying and were comforting each other. Then just suddenly we started making out & had our hands all over each other etc. It was mutual, neither one of us leaped on the other or anything.
After a while, we realised what we were doing and he told me to go. A friend of ours was stirring things up and trying to convince the other that the other was still in love with them.
I think we drunkenly agreed that it was just a drunken mistake but I'm not sure. I want to talk to him because I really care about him and want for us to be friends again but I think it's all messed up and awkward now.
So my question is, should I message him explaining that it was just a drunken thing and I don't have any feelings for him, despite what the other friend was saying, so it won't be awkward? Or is that making too big a deal out of it? And if I should, should I also say that I'd like it if we could be friends and that I'm here if he wants to talk, or is that a bit inappropriate and taking it too far?
I'd really appreciate your help, thanks x (link)
|
I'm pretty sure he knows the situation. I think bringing it up again, by text message anyway, isn't a good idea. I don't know if you've had it happen before, but text messages can be misinterpreted easily.
If you want to text and see if he wants to get together to talk about what happened, go for it.
I think that would probably give it more importance than you want it to though. Unless you are wanting to have a relationship.
If you are just interested in friendship, I think a text saying you are always available as a friend, should he want to talk would be the most appropriate message to send. He will respond or he won't.
It will probably be awkward meeting no matter what you do. It won't last long.
|
My younger brother really loves the song Kokomo by the Beach Boys. He says that they make him feel relaxed and as if he were on the beach. I was wondering if there were other songs like this? If so would you please provide the song title and artist. I would preferably like them to be on iTunes, because we don't own limewire or any other downloading music site. They NEED to be appropriate NO weird meaning behind the lyrics and NO swears.
Thank you!
-Sky (link)
|
The songs by the Boys are endless! Anything by them is surfer/beach related.
Here is an itunes list of their songs (scroll down page)
http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/the-beach-boys/id562555
Jan & Dean also play the same type of surfer music.
Here is a website loaded with artists you may want to check out.
http://www.surfmusic.com/
|
|
So me and my boyfriend have been going out for about two monthss and alittle more. We've broken about 6 to 7 times. And he was only sad the first 3 times we broke up after that he made it seem like it was whatever. And he is a jerk! He always says things to me like if he doesnt value what he has but at the same time his a sweet guy and i love him alot because thats the first guy i ever really really liked and had a connection with him. Every night i cry because he makes me feel like the bad guy which am not because i always try to work things out but when i tell him about my feelingss all he says it whatever or wow bye or something immature like that. I dont wanna let him go what can i do to change the way he treats me? (link)
|
You can't. You've broke up 6 or 7 times already. If he were going to make a big change, or even cared, he'd have done so by now.
You see, you love this jerk. He knows it. He is taking advantage. He makes you feel everything bad about the relationship is your fault. Hes mentally
abusive.
My advice is to break up with him and look elsewhere for a boyfriend. It will take time to get over this, but you will. When you do you will look back and wonder why you put up with it.
He doesn't care about your feelings. He is not going to change.
|
hi im 14f bf's 16 XD
Well i started dating my boyfriend after the christmas break.. Now we are back into school. He is so sweet.. to sweet XD the best boy friend ever..seriously he calls me his juliet. XD We both are in groups where ppl hate on us..we are so much a like. Well the first time i met him(My best friend got us together XD)..we planned on him waiting 4 him after school at the middle school..we planned on having a kiss nd i did..but i was shaking nd my lips quivered so he says..hah Well, im so shy..my legs were shaking nd everything. The next time i met him..he told me he wanted to kiss my neck .. nd i wasn't in the mood for it because i had a horrible day, i almost cried when he was holding me.Well, he was brushing my hair nd told me to calm down...i guess it made a scene because one of the 6th grade teachers told us it was inappropriate.;/ Well we can't see each other any other time? We are a really good couple. How can i stop being shy..really? He thinks its cute..but i feel so insecure even though he says im perfect..perfect for him. I have low self esteem..lol ;/ How can we NOT get in trouble? haha Thanks for helping..i rate fair XD (link)
|
Do you want an honest answer? You aren't ready for a relationship yet. You're not necessarily shy, you're just not ready. Thats ok. He'll just have to understand that.
It sounds like he may be more mature than you are. I don't mean that in bad way. You need to tell him not to rush you into kissing. It isn't something you plan, it just happens.
Your instincts are telling you you aren't ready. Listen to them! Don't do anything you aren't comfortable doing.
|
|
