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Do I do it?
Okay first off let me say that I've never asked advice from a advice column before but I feel that the circumstances are right for it. Female age: 20. So I just started this new job about a month ago and love where I'm working. I have a 1 year old boyfriend that is totally head over heels in love with me and has wanted to marry me since three months into the relationship. I love him but we kept having problems and therefore kept having an off again on again relationship. Anyways, I moved away from California to New Jersey after the last breakup that we had but recently got back together with him. At my new job there is this guy at work who I really like and could possibly later on be more than just a friend. Right now he is really interested in me but doesn't want a relationship right now do to female issues and I really can't afford another relationship while I have this one going on right now. So we recently decided to date see what each other is like and do the whole friends with benefits thing. I want that but don't know if I should with my boyfriend back in California thinking that Im the innocent girlfriend he once knew. My co-worker and I flirt almost everyday and he has been recently trying to get to the touchy-flirting stage at work. There is so much chemistry between us that I never have had with my boyfriend and I'm in a difficult situation here. It is true that I haven't been around my boyfriend in over 3 months to have sex with him so yes I am sexually deprived and want to jump on the new guy but do I really want to do that and possibly risk hurting my boyfriend. I told myself I would never cheat but now I see where they're thought process is right now. Please tell me what I should do. Friends with benefits with the co-worker or stay loyal to my on and off again boyfriend who I don't know whats going to happen with our relationship. Do I do it or don't I? The answer is.....
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think you should remain faithful to your boyfriend
and shouldn't do the friends with benefits thing with the other boy if you truely don't want to hurt your boyfriend then don't it's not fair to him you got into the relationship with him for a reason and
he expects you to be loyal & faithful to him there's
always room for improvement if things aren't going well in the relationship then fix whatever is wrong
until things are right again don't just give up maybe the two of you can go to counseling and that
could get your relationship on the right track to becoming good again(:
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You won't like my answer but I will give it anyway. :)
First, forget the old boyfriend. If you wanted him that badly, you wouldn't even be considering another guy. It isn't going to work out in the long run. Tell him you've met someone else and put an end to it for good.
The new guy may be okay. However, do not start this relationship on the wrong foot. Tell him you will be happy to date him & get to know him, BUT, until he is interested in a relationship...no benefits. I'm not kidding. Give it away without commitment and you will NEVER get one.
So date him, flirt with him and make him want a relationship. Don't fall for any other lines. You don't want a relationship with him until his other "female issues" are resolved. That just sounds like a good excuse.
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