|
Boyfriend interfering with school?
I have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. 7 months so far. Honestly, it took him 3 years to get over his last gf who broke up with him. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore, he's much too needy, but I'm literally scared he'll show up at my door if I break up with him. We live in 2 different countries. I'm scared of hurting him, but I'm tired of this relationship. It's not what I want, and he tells me he loves me 24/7, but I really don't feel the same. I'm lying to him by telling him that I do.
I don't want to keep this going on any longer. He talks about marriage, and kids with me, and buying an apartment. I've only known him for 10 months!! Ahh, & to make matters worse he's interfering with my school work. He gets so pissed when I say I need to go study/do my work. To avoid fighting, I literally just stopped doing my work. But I'm an A student, and I'm so tired of messing up my grades for him.
I need someone to please help me figure out the best way to tell him I want to end this, and what to say. I don't want to be cruel, but I want to make it clear it's over. Thanks!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You simply tell him the relationship is no longer working for you.
Since you say you are scared he will show up at your door, I will assume you have good reason to feel that way because of something in the past. If
you are really afraid, let family & friends know what is going on. If its necessary for your piece of mind, tell him you will call the police if he tries to contact you in person. Then do it if needed.
He really sounds like someone who i a little nuts.
Just tell him its over and move on with your life. You are not responsible for his.
If he doesn't take the news well, do not argue with him. Simply hang up, change your phone number if possible & get a new email address.
Totally ignore him. It may sound rude, but if he doesn't get it when you tell him nice, get rude about it.
]
Ending any type of relationship can be devistating. you need to just tell him. You are a A student and he is interfering with your work and you think you should see other people. First off he may go balistic and start calling your 24.7 and emailing all the time. i doubt hell show up at your house. Hun online dating is dangerous i just want you to be careful. and good luck but your being smart ending it ecspecially for the school work.
]
Ending a relationship via anything other than face to face is cruel in my book. However seeing you live in two different countries, I think a phone call would be sufficient. It's the closest you can get to a personal break up. He deserves that much if he really cares for you.
You have to be clear. No mixed signals. No bull shit. Tell him flat out it's over. Tell him the truth. You think he is more serious about the relationship than you, and although you care for him, the extent of the relationship is to much to handle. Let him know your grades are slipping, and this long distance relationship just isn't working for you. Let him know you need something more personal, less serious.
Then end it at that. If he tries contacting you, ignore him. Ignore his calls, texts, emails, everything. If you reply to ANY of it, you will give him false hope. If it helps, change your email or phone number if you can. After breaking up with him, you owe him no further explanation. Let him move on. Eventually he will.
]
This is a tough one. Since you live in two different countries you can't really do it face to face, which would be the most respectful way. I would say over the phone but if this guy's so needy he might not let you explain yourself. I think a HANDWRITTEN letter would be best. Its personal, but you can also take the time to explain yourself and your side of things, and let him know that you've just moved on to a different place in your life and you don't want to be in a relationship right now. You say you're worried he actually might show up on your doorstep, so I wouldn't talk about being far apart as a reason for your break-up. He might get it in his head to be closer to you to take away that reason. Just tell him gently, respectfully and kindly that you realize you are growing and changing into a different person than you were when you started dating, and you've decided to be alone for a while. As cruel as it may feel, you've got to be crystal clear, another reason writing a letter may help. You can take the time to get all your thoughts out. Explain you know he'll find someone soon who can love him the way he deserves, but you are not that person. I suspect he can already feel you slipping away, which is why he's probably getting worse about his neediness. This is just one of those tough things that you have to do. But be clear, the don't take his phone calls after he's received your letter. There's nothing he can say to change your mind and dragging it out would only hurt both of you. Good luck.
]
More Questions: |