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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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My hair has never been much longer than shoulder length...till now. It recently started to grow and is now just starting to go past my chest. I really want to grow it out long.
The only problem is that the bottom inch or so is really dead. Its the longest it's ever been and I really don't want to cut it.
It's not thin but not thick either, I rarely use heat on it and its always up.
Should I cut it or is there someway to bring it back to life without spending much money? If I do cut it, how short?

I have been growing out my hair and I also don't use heat, I dont shampoo it daily so its not stripped of natural oils, and yet, after time, the ends become ratty, tend to snarl and show split ends. Some of the possible causes are something that you do not have total control of. Internal health...namely your diet can affect the health of your hair. Read up on what foods are good for healthy hair. Things your hair comes into contact with too with affect it. The pollution in our air, too much use of commercial shampoos, too much sun, hair dyes, the chlorine in swimming pools and hot tubs. I find that I have to trim an inch off maybe once every 6 months. The only place the comb or brush gets stuck is at the end. There will still be some splitting showing upwards on the hair shafts but thats not as bad.
Try to not use heat blow drying for it. I never do anymore. It looks prettier when it dries at room temp over time, the strands have lovely waves in them that would not be there otherwise.

Another thing to do is read up on natural products to apply to hair to strengthen it and make it more healthy. Since todays diet lacks the kinds of vitamins our hair may need, some natural things can help. I have read of using a raw egg scrambled and massaged through your hair and left there for a while. The proteins in eggs will seep into your hair if left on long enough to do so. I dont remember time length but I like to go for 15 minutes, do it over the sink and wear a towel around my shoulders in case it drips. After the time is up, take your shower and rinse it out and then shampoo as normal. Doing this once a month as a hair treatment is good. I have heard doing the same with a can of beer poured over the hair to saturate it and leave it on a while before rinsing off works the same way. Depend on the thickness of hair you may need more than I mentioned. If you leave that last inch uncut, tangles of the dead ends sticking together can snap the hair and cause the split end pieces that stick out here and there throughout the long hair.
I hope this helps you dear.

Hi, Im a 16 (almost 17) year old female with a maturity level that proceeds my age and I have a REAL big crush on this guy but he's 24. I know us girls mature much faster than males do so it's normal for me to have feelings for this man. We've been talking for quite a while now and not once has he said anything sexual to me or shown signs that he's interested in me sexually (which is a good thing because that's not what i want..yet.) BUT he has shown signs that he likes me more than just a friend. I'm considering getting into a relationship with him but I just need some opinions from others. ☺Thanks☺

I can relate to you...I had a great maturity for my age and at 17 was attracted to a guy who was probably about the same age as your guy. He was part of a team of college students from a religious college sent to my church to direct the youth group which was on the small side. I liked them all, 2 girls, 2 guys but I felt a connection in conversation I guess cus personality wise, he was a lot like me. My parents were not church goers and not really into religion back then so when I had some tough decisions to make that were spiritual/church related and wanted someone older as a sounding board, I spoke to him. At times, these college students weren't available like summer break and we wouldn't see them until fall started up. The first Sunday of fall that he appeared, when he saw me, he hurried over to give me a big hug. Nothing sexual, like you say but I was picking up on interest during the 2nd year, his final one with the group. He said and did things that made me feel he liked me as more than just a friend. Looking back, I have to say it depends on the person its coming from. Some did this as part of credits for college but he put more of himself into it and a good majority of teens were irregular in showing up for youth group. I remember a time we were walking up to the house of an elder member of church to visit them cus they were recooping from surgery, and he put an arm around my shoulders and say something about how special I was and how he really likes and enjoys my company. I knew he'd be gone for good soon so when his arm stayed around me a bit long, I put my arm around his waist and laid my head sideways on his shoulder saying that I liked him very much too. In that instant, his whole body stiffened up. He finally picked up on that I liked him more as a man than a church friend. And without him saying anything, I realized then as he pulled away quickly, that he was practicing loving people and getting to know them as a pastor would his flock...he wanted to be a pastor or missionary as soon as out of college. So I had misread the signals. It wasn't intentional on his part. Even my mom in a visit to church once pulled me aside and said in a whisper, 'I wouldn't mind having him for a son in law someday". She saw how he treated me and acted around me and misread the same way. I don't know your situation, so hopefully you are not reading things into the situation that actually aren't there.

A word of caution: It is another whole year until you turn 18 and are of the age of consent to have sex. I know many teens are being sexual before that age but usually its with another, teen, someone the same age. It's going to be assumed that a man of his age has been sexually active by now and that he will not be content long term to enter a relationship with no possibility of that level in the relationship until over a year from now. People today are so nosy and into others business from watching too much 'reality TV'. All it takes is one person to say something to the right person and bring the law down on him and possibly jail whether he has been sexual with you or not. Not worth taking a chance over. My advice is to continue hanging as friends at work or where ever it is you see him, but not get into an official relationship where others know that you are dating. This is for protection sake for him.

If he's really into you, he'll find a way to stay in contact with you no matter what so that once you are 18, and you talk to him then about your feelings, if he has feelings too, then you enter a real relationship with him at that point when no one can make trouble for you and him.

If you're as mature as you say,likely I am just repeating stuff you've already thought of.
If you do discover he really would like to start dating you now, may I make a suggestion. Do the parents know all your girlfriends and have met them and have they been over to your home? If this is a common thing at your house, and your parents don't know of him yet, I would like to suggest the same thing I do for two teens in high school. There's aren't many places for teens to hang out. Some parents are afraid of the situation of daughter starting to date. The best way to get them comfortable and get their valuable opinion on him is to invite your guy friend over. Tell the parents you have a male friend (not boyfriend) that you would like to invite over. If they're okay with you dating at this age it should be no problem. If not, it may take some talking with them to get them to see your view and give it a chance. Schedule a handful of dates of him just hanging at your parents house so the parents can get to a point of trusting him. If they still feel leery of the situation, since you still live under their roof, it may be best to wait a year rather than bring strife between your relationship with the parents.
If you've thought of dating him in secret, when the parents do finally learn, you still risk bringing strife between you. This is all I can think of that you might want to consider in pursueing the man.

Hi, I'm a fourteen year old girl, and I currently hold a 3.0 in school(I am in high school.) It seems like everyone treats me different but I do admit..I have been told, I can be paranoid at times. I do have friends though, I'm good at making friends online, but in person, that is a whole different story. I am not good at communicating..I thought that may be the reason people treat me different. How can I improve my social skills? I go to my doctor every six months for check ups and the results are healthy! I know it may sound silly asking you this but do I function normally? Thank you in advance. (:

People in your age range are all going through the social thing, wondering where you fit in society, are you normal, do others like you, self conscious.
Some just have more skill naturally at talking to people, perhaps its part of their personality, or they learned it growing up by watching the parents.

The Golden rule about treating others as you would like to be treated is often a one way street for young teens. They want to be accepted but they are too critical or lack skills to know how to help the more quiet shy ones feel accepted by reaching out to them. I'll bet that if you were 10 years older right now, without any changes to your personality, you'd find that the people around you have grown up and matured some and instead of ignoring or teasing or bullying, they know how to make friends and be a good friend and would have no problem with you.

Lots of the issues teens have are due to the front part of their brain developing slower than their bodies. The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20s.

As for learning how to communicate, there's lots of stuff on the internet to help you. But here's some pointers to get you started. First start with listening in on different conversations going on around you and pick one that you know something about the topic or you have an interest in. Don't try joining a conversation where you'd be in over your head.
For starting a conversation:
Three Questions to Ask Yourself Before Starting the Conversation:

Is this a “yes” or “no” question? If it is, find a way to ask where they can't answer with a yes or no. Instead of, did you like the school play last week, which can be answered yes or no and conversation stops unless you ask another question, Ask the open ended version, What part of the school play did you like most?

Is this question too personal? Might it make the person being asked uncomfortable? If so, how can I present the question in a non-threatening way?
Is this a question I’d want to answer myself? If not, how I can change the question to make it more inviting?

There are lots of great video you tube clips that are helpful, one suggests an opening question you get used to asking of anyone you interact with, clerk at the store, friends, a teacher, the neighbor, How is your day going, or how is your evening going. While some might just answer, "good" or "fine|", it sounds like it is coming from a more truly caring stance, that you really want to know, instead of asking "how are you"...which is used more as a greeting than wanting to really know. When people have asked me how my day was going, I felt myself wanting to give them a tid bit of what happened to me so far that day. Here's another way to start a conversation and this guy has other social skill videos for you to check out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVWpPtadQs0#t=131
and his you tube page of 32 videos that I highly suggest you watch over and over until you remember what to do.
http://www.youtube.com/user/findsocialfreedom?feature=watch

Good luck dear

Okay so I told you guys a while ago that I think I'm pregnant. 15/F. They say if your pregnant you get spotting but I think I have my period. Yeasterday it started and I puttes on a pad. And when I went to bath around 20:30 it was full. Then I putted one °̩n when I was done and woke up this morining with it overflowing. Is this a period or spotting?

Sounds like you're having your period. Whenever a period is delayed, it does not automatically mean you are pregnant. It can be delayed for several reasons, one due to your age, inconsistancies in the monthly schedule are common for young teens, due to recent or a current illness, due to great stress, or if heavily into a sport or gymnastics or something of that sort and being into the gym thing extremely, can actually totally stop a period consistantly.

If you were thinking about pregnancy, that indicates to me that you are sexually active and possibly not using any protection or, using it incorrectly.
I would suggest that you go to Planned parenthood and get on some birth control besides condoms.

I have an irregular cycle. The last 5 Months they have been consistant. December I had no period. I am sexually active no protection. Symptoms, lower back pain, lower adominal pain, pain near belly button, breasts hurt and tender, very moody mean moody mainly in the morning, nauseas no throwing up, constipation , emotional, extremely tired threw out the day tired at night but un able to sleep. I think thats all of them i have taken a test it was neg. But I dont think I am far enough along for a pos i was the same way when i was pregnsnt felt pregnant for weeks before i had s pos pregnancy test.

Hon, I can't tell you if you are pregnant. You need to see a Dr. or take a pregnancy test. Using no protection ever, am I to assume you are trying to get pregnant because with those symptoms, it's a good chance that you are. If you don't have a Dr. or no insurance, go see Planned Parenthood to get tested.
If by chance you don't want to be pregnant and you aren,t, then while at Planned Parenthood, may I suggest a hormone free, hassle free, forgot about it birth control called Paragard, a copper IUD, intra uterine device. They're good for 10 years and you don't have to do a thing. ITs the biggest cost up front but thats one time. Over the monthly costs of other birth control, this ends up the least costly since it lasts so long.

I know the chances of getting pregnant on the week of pink pills for birth control pills are slim to none, but what if I forgot to take the pills for 3 days after I had sex? I'm also still on my period (obviously)...but I can't find any answers for missing pills on this particular week and I think it's already too late to take a plan b.
I'm sorry if this is a stupid question. I hate the pregnancy questions just as much as everyone else.

If by pink pill, you mean the 7 pills that are a different color from the other 3 weeks worth, those 7 pills are placebo's and have no active ingrediants, so if its 3 of these you forgot, it doesnt make any difference.

However if you ever forget to take the others, then use a condom for extra protection. If you have trouble remembering, set an alarm on your cell for the same time each day to take your pill.

BTW, there's no such thing as a stupid question. What's stupid is to not ask any questions at all.

Hi everyone! So i have been with my boyfriend for exactly one month (I know thats not much at all) But we've been acting like we were together even before he asked me out.. so i was always used to him telling me he loved me,or showing me affection even before we got together. Now i understand that hes very busy with college, and so am i.. but because his major is completely harder than mine, it takes up most of his time.. and i try as much as i can to be understanding that he cant always talk to me or be there whenever i need him or want him to be. But lately, ever since our first few weeks of being together.. i kind of noticed that he wasn't showing me as much attention as he did before. Before he'd call me every time he took a break in studying, but now ill speak to him perhaps only 3 times a day, and i guess im just not used to the "change" because i don't believe there should be any changes JUST yet. I mean were practically still in our "Honey moon phase" of dating. Even when we go out together, he doesnt hold my hand or kiss it or is as affectionate as he used to be.. I know that he might just be getting used to me, but its starting to bother me a bit. And whenever i kind of say something about him not calling or ask him if he can make some more effort he says he tries but his exams are draining him so i just dont say anything about it. I just feel upset cause i miss when he'd constantly show me attention, affection and tell me he loved me all the time and now i feel like if he says it even once through out the day id be the happiest person ever.. and i shouldnt feel that way about someone im with, right? What should i do? am i overdoing this? thanks so much in advance. =)

the newness of an attraction to someone can cause people to excessively be in contact, calling several times a day. When I met my 2nd husband, due to our schedules, we couldnt talk during our mornings or days and he worked long hours so I couldn't talk to him until he had run errand after work or taken care of chores before free to talk and then we'd talk for hours til late at night, but all in one chunk, not many calls.
So your only real concern is the amount of phone calls or texts, not the quality of them? Right?
Any girl would consider herself lucky if her guy as busy as he was found time to contact her 3 times a day. You are right, you aren't used to the change. Its not an indication of anything bad.
On the other hand, you are implying that he used to show a certain amount of affection, cuddling, holding hands, kissing and that after you started dating he does very little if non at all? If thats the case, you need to find out if there is something happening in his personal life like parents getting divorced, a parent or other family member died, or got diagnosed with something terminal, something that weighs heavily on his mind and will affect his abilities to feel affection when the troubling emotions weigh heavier and take over. You don't know anything until you ask dear.
Ask yourself what really bothers you about this. Because I am betting that there is some deep unfulfilled need for something in you that you are attempting to satisfy. The problems arise when a person uses the other person in a relation as the thing to satisfy that need inside with. I am sure you are not even aware of it.
It could be simply as simple as your Sun sign being Leo and one of the Leo tendencies is to love to be the center of attention and some Leo's needing more than other people and get quite upset if they feel they are not getting as much attention as they think they should get. It may simply be a matter of putting things into perspective.
You dear, know yourself better than any of us can guess. I am sure if you give it some more thought, you may discover what your real issue here is. You may be just over-thinking this all.

Me and my fiancé are currently trying for a baby. This is my first month of trying, since using condoms. I don't take no medication or anything like that. My fiancé is always on vacation, so we don't really get to spend that much time together at night. However, this month, we had intercourse only once on my fertile day, I know I have low chances, since we only had intercourse once. 14 days after I ovulated, I got a strange, odd "period" my periods are always regular, I have a 32 day cycle, this period came right on time, but unexpectedly, well I knew it was coming, since I track my periods, but my body didn't feel it, I had no cramps, apart from mild ones on the first day of my bleeding, when normally I get cramps a week before my period! My breasts was sore to touch, since I ovulated, anyway... The bleeding I experienced was fresh blood, but not quite as heavy as my normal flow, it lasted for 2 days, then followed by brown spotting a good few days after, I had a few pink/red dabs in the brown spotting. I was reading up on implantation bleeding and there's information on there, that says it happens earlier than 14 days past ovulation but my period is always 5+ long, starting really heavy, then getting lighter after 3 days, and I suffer from really bad cramps. My mucus at the moment is sticky, sometimes like milky, that ranges from a cream colour to white. My breasts have gone back to normal, no soreness, I have some nausea, but it doesn't make me vomit, i feel like vomiting sometimes though, heartburn brings it up a lot in my mouth, sorry for TMi! I've also been experiencing headaches on and off, I can't sleep at night, even if I'm really tired, I feel an uncomfortable pain in my thighs and feet, as if they're growing pains & I wake up randomly when I manage to fall asleep, my emotions are sky high & this morning when I woke up, I felt as though I'd done sit ups, my lower abdominal was really aching, and my lower back! If I was to be pregnant, I'd be 6 weeks! Any thoughts or experiences anyone can share? Thanks!

I may have overlooked it, but as far as I can see, you haven't mentioned taking a pregnancy test yet, and you think you could be 6 weeks along? That's halfway through the first trimester if you are pregnant? WHy havent you gone to a Dr. to have it confirmed or not? If you don't have a Dr. or Med. insurance, I suggest you go to Planned Parenthood. They handle anything related to the reproductive systems. they aren't just about preventing pregnancys, they check for pregnancies too. You want to be sure you are getting good care early on if you are pregnant. So go see someone.

I dont know what to do, im inlove with him i think about him all the time we text and call all the time and she has no idea.. i feel so guilty

People get together all the time who eventually part because they didn't have anything in common, were lacking that spark, and just weren't right for each other. Should each remain single then even if someone known to their ex is actually a good match for them? It really doesn't make sense.
However, in the case that she is in love with him but he dumped her and she is not yet over it, and she finds out you two are talking and that you are attracted, then yes, it will be a problem with her and reason for you to feel badly. You must know that knowledge of it will hurt her feelings and that is what makes you feel guilty.

She will hurt worse if she discovers by accident that you two have been attracted and in touch but haven't told her. Either way, she is likely to feel hurt unless she is the one who dumped him or they both mutually decided to part...in which case, she should not dictate whether you date him or not. Try starting by saying something like you want to start dating, or you've been looking and haven't found someone you are attracted to their looks except her ex. So you want to know what she thinks of it? Does she think its a good idea if you were to ask him out?
This is a good way to find out some things about him that may not be visible on the surface but keep in mind some of the things she has to say will be from her perspective or painted through her hurt and pain. If she goes crazy and says no way, how can you be my friend and ask such a thing...then you will be facing a decision, whether continueing to see where things will lead with him or letting how a girlfriend feels, be the deciding factor on not pursueing something in your life. If you continue on with the guy, its a matter of time before you are doing stuff together in person, but because you planted the idea in her mind, though she'll still be hurt if you're found out, it won't be quite as big a shock. If a friend really cares about their friend, they would not prevent them from being with someone just because it did not work out for them. But people get jealous, get hurt and sometimes dont go on with their lives. Its your decision to make. Just be sure he is worth pursueing, that the reason for their breakup is not due to some serious nasty character flaws unknown to you yet, that would make him no match for any female.

Hi there I am a 15 year old female and I was having my periods frequently at the end of each month for about a year but recently in November 2013 I developed a water infection which has now gone and since then .. I am a virgin so it cannot be sexually transmitted that is corsing it I would be very gratefull if anyone can give me advice before I go and see the doctor any advice will be very helpful thank you

I have not heard of water being the sole cause for a vaginal infection, unless you were swimming in very dirty sewage like water. It's more likely that you got some soap mixed with water while cleansing yourself down there and the soap or douches caused an imbalance of the normal healthy bacteria in the vagina so the bad ones took over and you developed a case of bacterial vaginosis. This can be accompanied by itching and redness, soreness and a terrible odor. This doesn't go away on its own. I found out after the first time I had it, that ignoring it long term meant it just went through ebbs and flows of symptoms getting becoming lighter so I assumed I was getting better and then getting worse again. What may seem like being cured without seeing the doctor is an infection that is low grade at the moment but still there waiting to grow into a full blown infection again. Woman get vaginosis and yeast infections and bladder infections quite often through their life and it's not caused by being sexual but by germs or other substances like soap entering the urethra or vagina and causing the irritation and infection. So nobody will assume that you have been sexually active.
If a Dr. asks, it is because you are of sexual age, not because he/she suspects you of it so answer truthfully. Your privacy is protected by law, and no one, not even parents can be told what you saw the doctor for.

Hi
im 17 years of age and I smoke marijuana (on accasions e.g. Partys and christams) and my mom has notice my drug usage.. Im not a violent person when I smoke it and I dont do it often.. Anyway my mom said it can lead to the use of cocaine and stronger drugs like mcat but I dont think it does! Does it always lead to stronger drugs? Does it depend on you state of mind (crave stronger side effects)? Or do people start stronger drugs just because they have been offered some? Ive been smoking for a year and a half and I havnt got craves for stronger drugs?is my mom right or just concerned?

I am in my 50s and didnt smoke pot until I was told it was a good help with menopause symptoms or insomnia, both which I get and smoking it gives me relief from it. I usually don't take anything until lets say my hot flash are occuring every ten minutes all day long. Then I will smoke so I dont do it often. Sometimes, I can't feel the effect of it yet or I have weaker older pot so I have taken extra puffs and once it finally hits, it effects my motor control like having had too much alcohol. I would never drive for example while having recently used pot.
Your mom is probably concern because of surveys or what she sees and hears on TV. We are too quick sometimes to believe everything we hear and see through any media but the facts are often twisted or made to sound worse because it draws more viewers and ratings. Research on the computer is likely to raise some better information on whether there is a connection between pot leading to use of harder drugs.

My opinion is that a lot depends on the maturity and/or age of the person smoking pot, the reasons for using it, is it a social thing, how often is it used, how much is used, does the user have a life they hate that they are seeking escape from? If used as a form of escapism, or if it used by someone who has terrible pains and takes it as a doctors prescription for pain management but finds it helps only a little so they then go to use of street drugs or misuse of dr. prescriptions. This is not caused by a craving, only the desire to be free of pain and once on pain drugs other than pot for too long, you become hooked.

I have never personally known any adult who smokes it who has experienced cravings for stronger drugs. If theres a want for stronger drugs it's most likely not because there is an addiction yet to stronger drugs, but because the stronger drugs are either sought to help with pain management of physical pain,

...or the user seeks to escape something that is mentally or emotionally painful, so in attempt to numb the memories or dreams or mental demons that haunt them, they turn to stronger drugs. Once tried,it is very easy to get addicted to them. they are.

Hello I am 16 years of age. Im going to start slow as mmy story is quite complicated First of all my sisters boyfriend is 16 and my sister is 17 and they have a child on the way (bit too young)Her boyfreinds in prison for assult and I detest of him as the baby is nearly due and he hasnt done one thing to help my sister before he got locked up.. Anyway I know in my head that I do not like him (hates the word) but somehow he keeps on coming into my dreams like me and him having sex? I dont onow whether I have a concious or I actually love him.. My heads saying no I detest and really hate him while my dreams and heart are saying otherwise! I need to know is it my concious or not? ikno the dreams are wierd but is it what the future holds?

Things seen in dreams are usually just symbolic, standing as a sign to represent something. An example of dreaming consistantly about being on a train, plane, ship or bus or car can be signs to let you know you are on a new journey in life or about to take a new path, or travel. All of those are modes of travel. Seeing a person in a dream over and over, no matter what you are doing or feeling does not necessarily mean you like someone, love them or are supposed to have a relationship with them.
It could simply be the fact that you feel such hate, that you see him so often, and maybe your angels are trying to teach you not to have such a strong negative emotion towards anyone.
Someone who is in jail, is currently at this point in life, even if getting out, not a good prospective for a partner, whether as boyfriend or husband. So he is not the best choice for your sis and any guy you ever meet who is similar, is also not a good choice to be with.
Unless the boy raped your sister or lied to her about wearing a condom, she is half the decision there to have sex so its half her fault. And you don't hate her like that. Teens are very susceptible to making bad decisions for one reason that effects all teens and this is because their bodies mature long before their brains do.

Here, let me explain:
The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20s

I believe it is good to come up with idea, plans, anything you want to try or achieve in your life. Teens need to learn somehow. But until you and sis reach your mid 20s, may I suggest you find an adult or a couple adults you are comfortable talking to to become real and open with, sharing your ideas, using them as a sounding board. That means presenting your ideas and plans to them to see what they think of it. A parent is the most logical choice but if there's a problem with using them, find another adult to be your mentor and sounding board. Mentor means: a trusted counselor or guide. Coming on here for our counsel or advice is a great start but its way better if you can get hold of that trusted adult anytime with a quick call or text, someone who preferably knows you very well, your personality, your strengths and weaknesses..etc...
Once you decide to forgive your sister and the babys father for their mistake, then I am sure the dreams will stop. Nothing can be done to get help from the babys father so do not even focus on that.

My ex and i hve broke up for three months already. Tbh i feel hollow and numb to feelings right now and when i think of him i just cry. Honestly ive been trying to get him back constantly. And i dont know anymore i really do like him but im not sure how to get him back and how to get hiscomplete love back. There were teo time we broke up but the first time he said hes sorry right away and said he wasnt thinking straight and so we got back together then he did so again this time but its serious. I beegged him to come back after. The two time we hung out after the break up he told me he missed and and had feelings for me still and we even brcame intimate but a month after i became more clingy and my emptions tpok control of me as i began to start arguments about why we should be together. He would say that he has too much stress on his life right noe and that hes tired of everything like his familys expectations my expectations and fake friend etc. he told me thathe thinks that we wouldnt work out again because lately weve both been busy and when we did hang out i would be the one complaining an he wouldnt say anything about him... I dont know we kinda just lost the new relationship emergy after a year and a few months. And arguments wents up and his family problrms kept at it and then stress grom college also. And i have to admit i didnt help much because i was busy with my schooleork and i added some stress to him too... I want him back so much but i know a relationship works only if two people try. And just how to a convince him that we can work if we both try because he still has feeling etc.

You did mention becoming intimate. In the year or so you've been with him, I wonder if the two of you had sex. Intimate is one thing but being sex partners another. If you did, there might be an explanation for his seemingly on and off again feelings and confusing signals he sends you.
Now this may not be true but it certainly would explain what is going on if there's any chance it is true.
Guys in high school and college become interested and attracted to females. Some want a romantic relationship of deep feelings of love for each other with sex, others don't want. aren't yet ready for yet, or fear the emotional attachment but still want the sex. So basically, that means sex with no emotional ties. To find a female who is willing to take that route with her heart is very slim.
So...males who want the sexual part without really developing any closeness or love feelings, will say and do anything to get it, even be willing to play the dating and relationship part.
Or he may want just the sex first and be willing to allow the deep feelings part come later after he's out of school. For alot of guys, having a girlfriend can be a great distraction and interfere with his ability to do well in school and a guy kinda can sense that. So there could be a miriad of possibilities here for why he is sending confusing messages.
If he truly did have feelings but they got too strong and scared him cus he wasn't ready for reasons that are valid in his mind, then he would of course flip and treat you in ways to cool the relationship down or break up. After breaking up and some time passes, if he has feelings and misses you, he may say so, but that still doesnt mean he wants you to have any expectations. Or perhaps he misses the companionship and sex and says he cares to get you to come back.

A talk with someone like this is needed. If he isn't willing, it could be he is afraid to reveal his position or thoughts on where he is at in his mind and his heart and how it fits in his life plans right now.

So either talk or write him a letter. If you want to discover why this is going on and why you feel so unsure of where things are at between you and him, there is a need for honest communication.
You may have to ask the questions you are afraid to get true answers to.
Tell him you need some clarification for whats going on inside him. Let him know that to a female, the things he says and does send mixed messages. So ask him if right now while in school he wants female friendship only, female friendship with romance, flirting and sex, or is he looking for a relationship of real love? He may not know what he wants. Some guys don't wake up until their mid thirties, by which time they have regrets over the women they have lost forever because they eventually found someone else. If he can be truthful and says he does not want the relationship with you to get 'too serious', then have him define what he means by that, never guess, don't accept what he says, be left wondering still. You are not going to be starting up this conversation for getting some answers, only to have him answer questions with words that create more questions for you. Follow each answer to the end until the answer is black and white to you, until it is something you can understand whether you like the answer or not.
When you say you have gotten clingy and he pulled away, it could be his initial reaction to feeling like you were getting too serious for his comfort. A guy will say I love you just as easily as he can say I love chocolate icecream. There may be things about you that he loves, just as there are things he loves about the icecream. But it is an entirely different thing for a man to be able to say, I am 'in love' with you.
Other than men who have emotional problems, mental problems and major character flaws and purposely ARE looking for clingy women, the majority of males on the planet are turned off by clingy females. Just a scientific fact there from studies done by relationship experts...not just my saying so.
So good luck with having an indepth, revealing conversation so that both your positions have been clearly defined. At least then you will know whether, he's just been lying to you and playing with your feelings, or whether he's just immature and not ready in which case you decide to wait until he matures somewhere in his 30s and is ready to be serious with you, or whether as painful as it is, you let him go and move on.

For the past week or so, I've been talking to this guy I really like in my english class. As in talking, i mean sometimes flirting and saying how we want to hang out and stuff. But the thing is, we haven't hung out yet. He stopped texting me on New Years for no reason, and last friday he said "sorry I've been busy" but after we talked for like an hour, he said he had to go. He hasn't texted me since and I see him tweet/instagram all the time. Is he a waste of my time? Please help me because I dont want to get my hopes up!

Guys tend to prioritize things of importance differently than girls when it comes to the opposite sex. A female is more likely to have a guy as the one and only priority in her life while a guy is more likely to take a handful of things in his life and give them all equal importance and commitment, such as his job, school, his male friends, his family and his girlfriend, (potential one) or life partner.
So of all the things important for him to give time to, as long as you make it to one of the top 3, you have nothing to worry about. Probably due to the amount of time you see each other and the amount of contact there is, you just haven't made it high enough on his list of priorities yet.

The fact that he said "sorry I've been busy" is a good sign, shows he still has interest and indicates that he had other things that took his attention. The fact that he found time to talk for an hour before he had to go is also a good sign. The call would have been much shorter if he was not a little interested.

For all you know, he may hate texting and prefer typing on a computer keyboard when he is intentionally taking a moment to get out messages.

If he's on the computer in other communication venues where you are also and are his friend on there, and you hear nothing, just post a question asking if he prefers keeping in touch via instagram, Skype, FB or whatever instead of texting, or maybe he really prefers just talking on the phone or in person instead.

Best idea yet is to ask him questions in person next time you see him that help you get to know him better, like what family life is like, what his hobbies are, what takes up his time when he's away from school?
If you want him to know how important he is, ask him to call instead of text next time, cus you'd really love to hear his voice, its the next best thing to being in his presence. That will confirm for him your interest in him and he will likely make more effort to actually find time to spend hanging out with you. Sometimes the actual problem for teens is 'where' to hang out. Let the parents know you have a male friend at school that you'd like to have come over to the house. More parents are comfortable with hearing that term instead of I have a boyfriend, or 'a guy I have a crush on', cus lots of parents connect the term boyfriend, with two teens who have strong feelings for each other that may be close to getting to the point of being sexual with each other and every parent will worry about their daughter that way. Other concerns are that a guy will treat a girl nicely. 4 of 5 teen girls today experience some form of abuse from a guy.
I know thats not what every teen does and the best relationships, start out as just being friends and evolve over the years into something more. So try that angle, get the okay for him to come over and hang out with you and your family. YES, its best they are there so they can get a feel for him as a person and therefore become comfortable with him. Try inviting him to come hang out at home to watch a movie on Saturday or bring his favorite music and share your favorite music together. If there was something solid, not just wishful thinking of getting together, it's more likely to happen.

17F she is 20F

So there is this girl at my work that I'm interested in. We've been working together since august but haven't really talked a lot until now. We've been talking for a good 2 weeks now, maybe more. She said she thinks she's into girls, but I'm still willing to try with her. And it seems like she is flirting but if she's kinda bi, then it's hard to tell

Is it too soon to ask her on a date?

After two weeks time of talking, it shouldn't feel odd at all to ask her since you've actually worked together, you're not total strangers who've only talked two weeks. The natural stage after the conversation stage where you boYou'd hear her out maybe and those th like the talking and feel enough in common, is the dating stage where you can find out even more about each other. As for how soon? There really is no standard of measurement for that. What is important to look for is that you feel comfortable when with her and she seems to feel The natural stage after the conversation stage where you boYou'd hear her out maybe and those th like the talking and feel enough in common, is the dating stage where you can find out even more about each the same way, eagerly looking forward to seeing each other again, that sort of thing. It can come after just a couple of days of in depth talking or a couple of weeks. Waiting any longer is useless and can actually be a detriment to you because, the person she is really is still not fully known to you so your mind creates a fantasy girl and fills in all the missing info as you imagine things with her. Taking too long to date in person means you may fall for the image you've dreamed up in your mind, which may not match who she ends up being in real life with you. She may not be able to live up to the imagined image and you lose interest, become bored and instead of really trying to get to know the real her which you may like, you give up. So now is a good time to go for it.

Okay so I like 2 people both of whom are with other and are both my friends I like this girl and this girl. the girl is my best mate and so is the dude but I love the girl more I just feel like sitting and crying all the time because the person she's with doesn't love her and its a crisis coz she deserves more and I just can't get over it. No matter how hard I try it don't go away and it hurts so much seeing her with someone who don't deserve her and the guy I can kinda live with out but I still like him what do I do?

Just want to clarify cus this idea came up as i read your words. Is it Love as just a friend for your girlfriend or are you possibly bi and its more about her being with someone else, not you and you think you can do a better job than the guy? Even tho he is also a friend.

You don't have to answer, I am just trying to draw your attention to the possibility that this may be why it is affecting you so hard.

There's a matter of how you happen to know the guy doesn't love her or whether he has ever professed to love her. If he has never said so, then he is doing nothing wrong. If he is pretending for her sake that he loves her but he does not, then he is being false with her and that is not right. Depending on how long theyve been hanging out, they could be still at the attraction stage or finding more things out about each other so they are progressing to the "liking each other stage" and eventually some time in the future, that can grow into love. So love doesnt necessarily have to be present, just truthfulness and open communication and sharing if any feelings change. Your two friends are going to have to discover for themselves where their relationship is at and whether it is good to continue or not. You cant say anything to either one. Just be there ready as a support if she needs a shoulder to cry on if they break up. Lots of your own best learning was not from following moms rules and warnings when she said, "Dont do this or don't do that. If your mom told you tomorrow that she is seeing something in a friend of yours that makes the warning bells go off for her and she's concerned for your safety, and wants you to stop seeing them? Would you? Probably not. If she was right and you ended up in a bad situation with a so called friend and really hurt and dont see them anymore, you might now have a better idea of what that kind of personality flaw looks like so you can spot it yourself early on next time around cus mama's not always gonna be at your side to help you and neither can you always be there to help your friend see what she needs to see. The time it takes someone to see the problem can vary between people, with some figuring out after a couple weeks, a few months, and for some, it takes years.
During that time, just pray for them to see the light.

Hello, I know this is probably a bit dramatic, but I'm nervous about going back to college and I need some advice.

I am 26 hears old and I haven't gone to school since I was 22. I dropped out after the fall 2009 semester. If I'd graduated in four years, I'd have been done in May 2010, but I know that wouldn't have happened even if I'd stayed in school. I don't know how much longer it's gonna take me to finish, but I still want to go back so I can improve my life and accomplish my dreams.

I don't want to sound like a cry baby, but sometimes my life is so boring I can't take it. I have a loser job and I've never done anything that great or noteworthy. I've GOT to do something to improve my life and keep me from being a loser forever. Not to say that anyone who doesn't go to college is a loser, but not having a degree is the only thing standing in my way of doing the things I've always wanted to do.

I plan to get a job at the museum that my university owns, which I think will be fun. I love history and I've always loved that museum. If I get the job, I'll get free tuition and be allowed to leave work to go to class. It's a great deal and I think it alone will make my life more interesting, but I'm nervous about going back to school.

I'll be going to school with people much younger than me. The freshmen this year were SIXTH GRADERS when I was their age. The seniors were freshmen in high school. What are these people going to think of me? That I'm some bum in her late 20's that's screwed around so much in the past 7 1/2 years that I STILL haven't managed to get a bachelor's degree? Or that I'm so stupid that I can't get one? Most people think I look young for my age, so my classmates may not even know that I'm that much older, but what if they do?

Nervousness isn't the only thing I'm feeling, I'm also excited and anxious to make my life more interesting, but I don't want my nervousness to get worse and make me back out of going to school. I don't think it will, but I'm still worried. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? If so, what did you do?

Don't worry about being older than the majority in college, there are people of all ages attending. Some 20 yr olds look older and some 28 yr olds look younger, so dont go by looks, just work a little harder at finding someone mature enough if you need a partner for any assignments.

What concerns me is that you wrote the word "loser" 3 times in the first paragraph. While your conscious mind may not have any issues or think you are actually a loser, deep in your subconscious, there is a tape playing, a program running where this is what you really think.

I have been greatly helped by the EFT tapping technique of getting release from the emotional and thought programs that hold us back. Our emotions and feelings live in our subconscious mind. Its from there that fears, anxieties, anger, or love, etc...originate from. Therefore, working with the subconscious to find release and overcome a negative mindset with a positive one will help lots. My favorite internet person doing EFT is Brad Yates. You may go on to find someone who works better for you but at least give him a try. I am providing two links, the first explains what EFT Emotional Freedom Technique is and how the tapping parts of your upper body and face are connected as you recite what he says. The tapping sequence is always the same, it is the words that you repeat after him that change for hundreds of situations. View the ones where the title of it jumps out at you. As with most alternative, natural health techniques, many aren't recognized by the regular medical field and so many share this info without being licensed. While they have to put the disclaimers or warning down so their websites and videos are not removed, I have never experienced any bad effects, only release which often came with a jolt of recognition inside, and then sometimes a release of tears followed by a happier euphoric feeling afterwards. This is not a one time solution. It should become a routine habit, if not daily, then as often as you find time. In the beginning, for better results, I listened twice a day, when getting up and before going to bed, and he had two videos just for that too. If you do decide to try this, I'd love to hear back from you how it is working for you dear.

Explanation of what EFT tapping is
http://www.bradyates.net/eft.html

And the you tube channel of all his eft emotional freedom technique video's

http://www.youtube.com/user/eftwizard/videos

Okay, my name is Allison. I am 15 years old. So, this year I started being friends with a bunch of drugies. &' I really love it. They have gotten me into all of that stuff. My ex-boyfriend is named Sam. He was the reason why that all happened. When he first asked me out I was so excited. We are an on &' off again kinda thing. He was my first that I slept with. &' only so... But, the reason I am Telling you all of this is because my dad doesn't want me to see Sam anymore &' he says my friends are bad influences. What should I do?

What exactly are you asking when you say "what should I do?" Are you asking for someone to tell you how to get around the law that dad laid down?
Are you asking whether you should obey dad or go ahead and disobey?

We all feel pretty grown up from about age 13 on but the truth be told, only our bodys may appear fully matured, but our brains have a long way to go yet and that affects our ability to see things as an adult brain would. Therefore no matter how much we want the freedom to make our own decisions, its not a good idea, even tho at 18 we are considered adults.

Just bear with me, I know you want to do your own thing and continue to hang out with Sam and other druggies and perhaps play with drugs yourself.But whatever I share with you is only in order to give you more info and perspectives so you can make your best decision. I know that even though Dad made his wishes known that you also can choose to not follow it and hide it from him.
So in reality, the decision here to comply and trust dad or not is your own. Please read on.

The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, consequences,forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20s.

This has been scientifically proven to be a fact. If thats the case, then would you say that you feel 100% sure that you can make a better decision for yourself than any rational level headed adult? I sure as heck know I couldn't at your age and neither could my friends. I wasn't able at age 20 to be mature enough to see things that others did. I married someone at 20, who turned out to be abusive. I was not mentally mature enough in my brain to make these decisions totally on my own and didn't want to listen to input from any family, cus of course I felt I knew better. I know its a drag to not be making 100% of your decisions without any input from other sources to help guide you to the best decisions. Looking back, boy do I wish I had listened to everyone at age 20, even 22 when almost everyone who knew me was suffering verbal abuse from trying to protect me from the husband who verbally abused me. Even at 22, I still couldnt see that the decisions I was making to stay with him were not in my best interest.

When your dad said they are bad influences, I'd have to agree, based on the meaning on dictionary.com for the word "influence" below

in·flu·ence
[in-floo-uhns]
noun
1.
the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others: He used family influence to get the contract.
2.
the action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others: Her mother's influence made her stay.

By your own admission, "They have gotten me into all of that stuff." By that statement I would assume you are saying that before hanging out with Sam and the other druggie friends, that you were not into 'all of that stuff', whatever you meant by "Stuff". Since I do not know what stuff you've gotten into doing, I can't tell how much you have allowed yourself to change if at all. If you haven't yet, just keep in mind, there's no time machine to help you go back and do it over if you get it wrong.
As for Sam feeling special, females find it hard to break up because no matter if good or bad influence, or treats you well or abuses you, an emotional connection was established with the intimacy with another person, and that emotional connection is what makes it hard to cut ties with totally, therefore the on and off again deal.
I am not sure what else I can say that might help you choose to go along with dad.
What is it that draws you to the druggie friends versus the non druggie kids? Is it that they're less boring, there's a thrill or excitement, more fun? You just may be a person who needs something more exciting for hobbies or past times, adrenaline producing, some extreme sports or whatever that is not bad but not as boring as the average kids.

I have a very strong relationship with my mother and due to this people consider her my best friend(as well as mother of course) while others disagree and just say that she is just my mother. What do you think?

This is normal but it doesnt happen all that often. I really think it is wonderful that you have that relationship with mom. The only concern for such a relationship is that once the child has become an adult, that if mom is still the best friend, that she sticks strictly to talking to you as an equal, as another adult, rather than as mother giving helpful instruction and teaching to her daughter.
If you ask for her advice or opinion as you are doing here, its only to gain more perspectives and see things from more positions you may not have thought of before, not to be mothered any longer.
Other than that, enjoy what you have no matter what anyone else thinks.

I have to get 4 injections tomorrow and I have a very strong fear of needles. I'm trying to be brave about it but I've always had difficulty with getting them. I know if I see the needles at all I'll be out of there. It's the pain/thought of the needle in my arm that scares me. It's a new doctor so they don't know about my fear. Since it's a new doctor would I need a blood test too? Any advice about that one?

All clinics and hospitals have past records of a person so even a new dr. will bring up the computer and look up your medical history before even proceeding with the reason you are there for.
I still think it would be best to tell the new Dr. of your great fear of needles in case its not listed on your medical history. We didn't know my middle daughter would react to the allergist taking a blood sample to check for certain allergies. She was 15, or so, sitting on my lap and he started the procedure and since i couldn't see her face, I was wondering why she was leaning towards one side. Next thing I knew her body fell forward and if I hadn't been holding her, she would have fallen on the floor. From what the Dr. said, its the most common thing that happens with a person who has fears of needles. Letting your Dr. know will help them to position you so that you have no chance of falling if you pass out.

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