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Boyfriend?
Hi everyone! So i have been with my boyfriend for exactly one month (I know thats not much at all) But we've been acting like we were together even before he asked me out.. so i was always used to him telling me he loved me,or showing me affection even before we got together. Now i understand that hes very busy with college, and so am i.. but because his major is completely harder than mine, it takes up most of his time.. and i try as much as i can to be understanding that he cant always talk to me or be there whenever i need him or want him to be. But lately, ever since our first few weeks of being together.. i kind of noticed that he wasn't showing me as much attention as he did before. Before he'd call me every time he took a break in studying, but now ill speak to him perhaps only 3 times a day, and i guess im just not used to the "change" because i don't believe there should be any changes JUST yet. I mean were practically still in our "Honey moon phase" of dating. Even when we go out together, he doesnt hold my hand or kiss it or is as affectionate as he used to be.. I know that he might just be getting used to me, but its starting to bother me a bit. And whenever i kind of say something about him not calling or ask him if he can make some more effort he says he tries but his exams are draining him so i just dont say anything about it. I just feel upset cause i miss when he'd constantly show me attention, affection and tell me he loved me all the time and now i feel like if he says it even once through out the day id be the happiest person ever.. and i shouldnt feel that way about someone im with, right? What should i do? am i overdoing this? thanks so much in advance. =)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
the newness of an attraction to someone can cause people to excessively be in contact, calling several times a day. When I met my 2nd husband, due to our schedules, we couldnt talk during our mornings or days and he worked long hours so I couldn't talk to him until he had run errand after work or taken care of chores before free to talk and then we'd talk for hours til late at night, but all in one chunk, not many calls.
So your only real concern is the amount of phone calls or texts, not the quality of them? Right?
Any girl would consider herself lucky if her guy as busy as he was found time to contact her 3 times a day. You are right, you aren't used to the change. Its not an indication of anything bad.
On the other hand, you are implying that he used to show a certain amount of affection, cuddling, holding hands, kissing and that after you started dating he does very little if non at all? If thats the case, you need to find out if there is something happening in his personal life like parents getting divorced, a parent or other family member died, or got diagnosed with something terminal, something that weighs heavily on his mind and will affect his abilities to feel affection when the troubling emotions weigh heavier and take over. You don't know anything until you ask dear.
Ask yourself what really bothers you about this. Because I am betting that there is some deep unfulfilled need for something in you that you are attempting to satisfy. The problems arise when a person uses the other person in a relation as the thing to satisfy that need inside with. I am sure you are not even aware of it.
It could be simply as simple as your Sun sign being Leo and one of the Leo tendencies is to love to be the center of attention and some Leo's needing more than other people and get quite upset if they feel they are not getting as much attention as they think they should get. It may simply be a matter of putting things into perspective.
You dear, know yourself better than any of us can guess. I am sure if you give it some more thought, you may discover what your real issue here is. You may be just over-thinking this all.
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Okay girlie! BREATHE!
It's not the end of the world!
You're very used to getting the lovey dovey boo lovin attention ALL THE TIME. But usually in January, heavy midterm tests start coming up and that's when college kids have to really buckle down. From what you've described, your babe is a real study bug. There's nothing wrong with that. But if it's bothering you, let him know and try to work something out that's mutually beneficial.
**One idea that my boyfriend made up for me in highschool is that we would have a "study date".
We would take turns asking each other questions on the topics we had to study, and say if i got a question right, i would get a kiss or some other kind of "romantic reward". One gets their love, the other gets some good studying in.
Everybody wins!!
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