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I'm 16...crushing on a 24 year old?
Hi, Im a 16 (almost 17) year old female with a maturity level that proceeds my age and I have a REAL big crush on this guy but he's 24. I know us girls mature much faster than males do so it's normal for me to have feelings for this man. We've been talking for quite a while now and not once has he said anything sexual to me or shown signs that he's interested in me sexually (which is a good thing because that's not what i want..yet.) BUT he has shown signs that he likes me more than just a friend. I'm considering getting into a relationship with him but I just need some opinions from others. ☺Thanks☺
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There's nothing wrong with crushing on a 24 year old at your age, but it definitely would be wrong to date him even if you are extremely mature.
For one, it's illegal for him to be in a relationship with you. Even if nothing sexual goes on, it can be assumed by the law and can get him in trouble and you don't want that.
Besides that, you both are at totally different places in your life.
I mean if you're mature enough as you say you are, you have to take into consideration why a 24 year old is interested in dating a 16 year old. A 24 year old guy doesn't want to wait that long to sleep with a girl, to spend time alone with her, ect.
It's fine to be friends with him, but anything more would just be illegal and wrong. So don't put yourself in that kind of situation.
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NO
You are a minor, This man is 24 years old. It would be WRONG for him to be in a relationship with a 16 year old. In the eyes of the law, It does not matter how mature you are or say you are. This guy can get into a lot of trouble just being associated with you. If a man that is 24 is showing interest in a 16 year old there is something VERY wrong with him.
Do yourself a favor, Find someone who is your own age. Stay away from him because all someone has too do is report him or get the wrong assumption and boom, He could be hit with charges that could effect him. Leave him alone
You are too young, You are a minor not an adult.
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There is a difference between friendships and relationships. There is nothing wrong with a 24 year old MAN having a friendship with a 16 year old GIRL. There is something very wrong with a 24 year old MAN HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL.
I do not know this man or if your parents know him. I do not know how the two of you met. What I do know from friends I have in law enforcement that this is how sexual predators attract their victims. You say you are not interest in sex with him YET. That he has not said anything sexual to you YET. This is how they work earning your trust first.
Having sex with him is illegal until you reach the age of consent in your state; which could be 1 to 2 more years. It is the thrill of taking your virginity and sex with a minor that these people get of on. Once you get to old for them they dump you or worse.
I don't know if this man is a sexual predator or not. According to a friend of mine who investigates these types of crimes all the warning signs are there. You may be a very mature 16 year old. At the moment I believe you are infatuated by the fact that a 24 year old man is interested in you. The infatuation is overriding your maturity and good judgment.
Before you enter into any type of relationship with this man check him out. Check the Sexual Offenders list for you state. Talk with your parents about him. I could be wrong, though I do not think so, there is something not right here. It would be horrible to read that this man has harmed you in some manner. So be the mature, smart young lady you are and date within your own age group.
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I can relate to you...I had a great maturity for my age and at 17 was attracted to a guy who was probably about the same age as your guy. He was part of a team of college students from a religious college sent to my church to direct the youth group which was on the small side. I liked them all, 2 girls, 2 guys but I felt a connection in conversation I guess cus personality wise, he was a lot like me. My parents were not church goers and not really into religion back then so when I had some tough decisions to make that were spiritual/church related and wanted someone older as a sounding board, I spoke to him. At times, these college students weren't available like summer break and we wouldn't see them until fall started up. The first Sunday of fall that he appeared, when he saw me, he hurried over to give me a big hug. Nothing sexual, like you say but I was picking up on interest during the 2nd year, his final one with the group. He said and did things that made me feel he liked me as more than just a friend. Looking back, I have to say it depends on the person its coming from. Some did this as part of credits for college but he put more of himself into it and a good majority of teens were irregular in showing up for youth group. I remember a time we were walking up to the house of an elder member of church to visit them cus they were recooping from surgery, and he put an arm around my shoulders and say something about how special I was and how he really likes and enjoys my company. I knew he'd be gone for good soon so when his arm stayed around me a bit long, I put my arm around his waist and laid my head sideways on his shoulder saying that I liked him very much too. In that instant, his whole body stiffened up. He finally picked up on that I liked him more as a man than a church friend. And without him saying anything, I realized then as he pulled away quickly, that he was practicing loving people and getting to know them as a pastor would his flock...he wanted to be a pastor or missionary as soon as out of college. So I had misread the signals. It wasn't intentional on his part. Even my mom in a visit to church once pulled me aside and said in a whisper, 'I wouldn't mind having him for a son in law someday". She saw how he treated me and acted around me and misread the same way. I don't know your situation, so hopefully you are not reading things into the situation that actually aren't there.
A word of caution: It is another whole year until you turn 18 and are of the age of consent to have sex. I know many teens are being sexual before that age but usually its with another, teen, someone the same age. It's going to be assumed that a man of his age has been sexually active by now and that he will not be content long term to enter a relationship with no possibility of that level in the relationship until over a year from now. People today are so nosy and into others business from watching too much 'reality TV'. All it takes is one person to say something to the right person and bring the law down on him and possibly jail whether he has been sexual with you or not. Not worth taking a chance over. My advice is to continue hanging as friends at work or where ever it is you see him, but not get into an official relationship where others know that you are dating. This is for protection sake for him.
If he's really into you, he'll find a way to stay in contact with you no matter what so that once you are 18, and you talk to him then about your feelings, if he has feelings too, then you enter a real relationship with him at that point when no one can make trouble for you and him.
If you're as mature as you say,likely I am just repeating stuff you've already thought of.
If you do discover he really would like to start dating you now, may I make a suggestion. Do the parents know all your girlfriends and have met them and have they been over to your home? If this is a common thing at your house, and your parents don't know of him yet, I would like to suggest the same thing I do for two teens in high school. There's aren't many places for teens to hang out. Some parents are afraid of the situation of daughter starting to date. The best way to get them comfortable and get their valuable opinion on him is to invite your guy friend over. Tell the parents you have a male friend (not boyfriend) that you would like to invite over. If they're okay with you dating at this age it should be no problem. If not, it may take some talking with them to get them to see your view and give it a chance. Schedule a handful of dates of him just hanging at your parents house so the parents can get to a point of trusting him. If they still feel leery of the situation, since you still live under their roof, it may be best to wait a year rather than bring strife between your relationship with the parents.
If you've thought of dating him in secret, when the parents do finally learn, you still risk bringing strife between you. This is all I can think of that you might want to consider in pursueing the man.
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Honestly, there are no laws that say you can and can't date or be in a relationship with anyone. However you are still a minor and technically without parents consent the relationship would be unlawful and not right. If there is any sexual contact then he could go to jail and become registered as a sex offender for the rest of his life. Personally I would just say take it slow, don't rush into anything. Maybe wait until you're 18 and consider this.
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