Gender:
FemaleLocation:
Washington stateOccupation:
RetiredAge:
64Member Since:
April 24, 2013Answers:
7093Last Update:
October 11, 2025Visitors:
128425Favorite Columnists
solidadvice4teens
Hollywood22
adviceman49
GiddyGeezer
Razhie
kittenlover2000
Grandfather
rosalee
missundersmock
teehigh
gr8fruit
more...
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
General Sex Questions
View All
about
Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
My friend has a flirting problem. It's probably why it seems like a lot of guys like her. At the beginning of the year she liked a guy who told her he liked her back and said he was going to ask her out. He never did and ever since then she keep saying she likes this person or this person and she thinks everyone likes her too! It's super annoying what do I do?
So what is the problem you want us to answer?
1. What can you do about your friend flirting and thinking everyone likes her?
Answer: Nothing, thats her life to live and learn from. You may care about her as a friend and so when you see her doing something that does not produce good results, its hard to stand by and say nothing, but unless she asks for your opinion and asks what you think is wrong, theres nothing you can say because she wont be in the frame of mind to hear it.
2. What can you do to stop feeling so annoyed?
Answer: The better thing is to understand why you feel annoyed to begin with. Teen girls going through puberty can get hit hard with hormones and these with throw your emotions out of whack, such as being extra sensitive, cry too easy about nothing or get angry and into fights or on the less drastic side, just feeling irritated or annoyed too easily for no reason, or about things that you shouldn't be focused on. You can't avoid having overly sensitive emotions during most your teen years to some degree or another. Its pretty much normal by time you hit 17. So until then, when you are facing something that is beginning to irritate, make some excuse to leave for a few moments to be alone, if nothing else, a bathroom stall. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Focus on the feeling of your lungs inflating and deflating again. Wait until you feel your emotions return to normal and then go back to your activity. If you are in a situation where you can not leave, you can still take a couple deep breaths, find a focal point for your eyes while you do so.
Your title: "Boys! Ugh!" makes me think there may be a 3rd unasked question about how to understand boys. If you think the boy who talked to your friend and said he was going to ask her out and never did, just doesnt make sense. It makes sense to me perfectly. He had enough chance to do more talking with her and discovered more about her, things he did not like in behavior and that immediately turned off his interest in her. How to attract a guy is not what most teen girls seem to think and are doing. If you want to learn what things not to do that would kill a guys interest in you, you will need to study that...for yourself...you cant make your friend study that until she see's the success you have and wants to know what makes it work for you. There are many good dating tips and relationship tips for girls on you tube in short video's. If this is a concern to you and you can't find any...let me know and I'll help you come up with some.
I'm 15, female and in highschool.
I've been dating my current boyfriend for a little over 2 months. Before we dated we were best friends. We know everything about each other. I've known him since second grade and started to fall for him in 6th. I finally told him I had feelings for him about a month before we started dating.
Anyways, I was head over heels in love. We're perfect for each other and we understand one another. But recently, everthing he does is getting on my nerves! What I would find cute are now just annoying.
I've been thinking of breaking up because I no longer love him.
I wanted him for 4 plus years and I want to break it off! He's so sweet and nice to me but now he seems like a pest. I avoid him and we havent kissed since Christmas.
I'm scared that another factor is that I have a crush on a boy in my french class and a huge crush on one of my teachers! My feelings are all over the place and I shouldn't be making important desisions right now.
I fell in love with my old chorus teacher in middle school and I promised I wouldn't fall for this one. They are both in there early 20s and seeing my old teacher still gives me butterflies. Although I like my past teacher more, I've gotten really close to this one too.
I need your advice! What should I do? I don't want to hurt my boys feelings because I know I'll never have a chance with either of these older men. Oh boy. This one's a doozy.
You answered yourself with this line:
"My feelings are all over the place and I shouldn't be making important desisions right now."
I agree. Would it help knowing why you might be 'all over the place', I don't know. But I can share a couple things that might be contributing to how you are feeling.
At 15, your body is still changing, you are going through puberty so those extra hormones are affecting your emotions. Girls are just more emotional during these years, and often lose control of their emotions, usually being extremely sad and weepy or extremely angry and easily irritated, and almost 100% of the time, no one has done anything to irritate you, you just 'FEEL" irritated. Usually hormonal teen gals will find they are all of a suddenly irritated with and fighting and yelling at mom, sis or a girlfriend but I suppose it can happen that a boyfriend end up being the one you focus your out of control emotions on.
Another thing that can affect what you are feeling is your brain. Psychologists and medical doctors have explained it as follows:
"The pre-frontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20s."
With just the combo of those two things possibly affecting you, that's enough for you to find your feelings all over the place. If either of these two situations or both are affecting you, then it would be best if you did not make any major decisions for the next year or so.
The 'getting on your nerves' stuff may be just normal boy/girl differences that you simply need to learn is the way all guys are, how they think and what matters to them, etc. If this is the cause of your irritation, you will find that eventually past the new relationship spark with each guy you date wears off, you will discover the same things irritate you about them too.
I am betting your boyfriend did not change his characteristics and all of a sudden change his personality and become an annoying, irritating pest.
Yeah, teen guys can have that immature pre-frontal cortex thing going on too...but they don't have the added hormones that you have affecting their thinking. Their thinking will be more logic based than emotional based as girls have.
So you started to avoid him when you just couldn't handle him emotionally. LEts say its the other way around. You have a guy you're crazy about and one day he just can't stand being around you anymore. How would you like him to treat you? What would you expect him to do as he handles this situation?
Would it be okay if he just suddenly began avoiding you and never tried to talk and explain why? Or would you consider that to be okay? If he wasn't sure how to explain to you without hurting your feelings, would you rather hear it anyways, even if its not good news or go on wondering the rest of your life if it's something you said or did that made him not care about you anymore.
I am betting that you wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot. Teens don't have the best communication skills yet, it is a process we will learn over our lifetime. The better our communicating, the better our relationships.
So even if you think you are not interested anymore, at least you owe him something of an explanation. And who knows, your emotions could flop back the other way and in a few months you find yourself missing him badly and discovering your feelings for him coming back with a vengeance.
I would at least try to say: I find myself with my emotions all over the place, something that happens to girls in their teens, they can be out of control in their emotions which I think might be affecting me negatively as far as getting irritated very easily. Usually its close females that irritate like mom, girlfriends and sisters, and since you and I have been close since 2nd grade, it seems that you are the one that I am finding to be irritating all of a sudden to me. And that annoyance (and anger--if there is any) is masking or killing my feelings for you right now. I want you to know, it's nothing you did wrong. It's me. I need some understanding and support. I don't want to hurt you but with the way my hormones are messing me up, I just can't be all lovey dovey as I was before. Then at the same time I find myself fantasize about having other boyfriends, and I feel so confused. Please don't be mad at me. I still want to be friends and see where I am at in a couple years as I get through the hormonal stages of puberty."
Of course you have to be willing to be open and real with him to do this. If you believe that you are not going through just the normal changes all girls do, but your emotions are more out of control than most girls, and affecting a great lot of your life, you will need to tell mom and have her take you for a visit to the doctor. In a good many cases these days, girls are getting prescribed medication just for the rest of the time of puberty, so a year or two more for you and then you;d be taken back off it. I've read reports on line of moms who said it made a big difference in their daughter who was back to her normal happy self. Some girls just get hit with an abnormal amount of hormones and are out of balance and doctors can fix that. Don't let the possibility of out of balance hormones mess up your teen life and friendships.
13/F
So I play pokemon a lot and over the summer I bought a Ninetendo 3ds (bought with cash). For Christmas, my mom bought me Pokemon Y for my 3ds. There's this thing you can use to transfer pokemon from older games and it said that there was a 30 day free trial do I downloaded it, but my friend said (after I downloaded it)that you have to pay $5 PER YEAR. I don't know what to do it was supposed to be free. and the $5 is I think charged to a credit card and I don't have one. I'm scared to tell my mom because we wouldn't be able to afford if the $5 was taken from her credit card we're not well off. I need help I don't know what to do if I have to pay later I dont have money
If the free trial asked for credit card info before they would send it and you didn't provide it, and they required it to allow the download,then you would not have been able to download it. If the credit card info. was asked for and you did not fill it in, but they still allowed you to download something for free, then no one will be charging your parents card because they need a card number to do so.
If you filled in a spot on a form on-line, using moms or dads credit card, taking it from their wallet without permission to put the numbers in the form online...then yes you have a problem.
$5. dollars once a year may not be that big a deal, $5. a month may have more impact. However, it was not your choice to make if it is their money or their credit info you are giving out. ONe has to be very careful in todays world about giving out credit information or any other personal information since there are many crooks out there waiting to use the information to steal a persons identity, wipe out their accounts, resulting in bills not paid and bad credit. It may be just $5. but its the principle behind this. You must tell your parents and expect them to be very angry if you used their credit card information on line. If you did not use it but got the free download, you may want to show the parents what you did on the pc, what the offer was, have them read it so they can explain it to you. These are important things to begin to learn now so that once you are an adult and have your own bank account, you don't get suckered in on ads for things that seem free but aren't and have some catch.
19/f
Me and my boyfriend broke up in January. He told me that it's because our relationship was unhealthy.
It's something that can be fixed though and I really want to.
I've been feeling awful about it and trying to get over it by hanging out with friends, trying new things and even talking to other guys. I've been on a few dates but I just would rather be with him.
We were together for over 2 years. So I know we're young but I really thought he was the one.
So pretty much my question is, how do I get him back? Trying logic and reason hasn't worked, I need to try to appeal to his emotional side and I have no idea how to do that. I don't know too much about male psychology. But you seem to have a lot of knowledge about relationships and I'm hoping you have some last minute hope for me. I know there's not exactly a way to make someone want you, but I want to try everything before I completely give up.
We do hang out every once in awhile. I'll initiate it. We just sit and talk for a couple hours and he acts how he used to with me right before we started dating. On Saturday we're hanging out too.
If you can tell me what to do and what not to do, I'd be extremely grateful.
I like what you said right here: "I know there's not exactly a way to make someone want you, but I want to try everything before I completely give up."
Thats a good attitude to have and shows you have intelligence. The rest is just inexperience.
If I were a fly on the wall and could observe the both of you together to see and hear what you are doing, I might have a better idea of what the potential problems are. But you gave me no examples to go on, nothing other than that he said hes breaking up with you after 2 years because the relationship is unhealthy.
If he truly was able to call it right and really knew it was unhealthy, then he is an exception, most guys his age, I assume 19 or 20, would have no more clue than you do. He may have had a good example in his parents and watched them closely and learned from them, but most young people don't think to start studying relationship and dating advice books at your age, I know I sure didn't, and neither did any of my friends. We all learned the hard way from making mistakes.
So I am curious as to what he said was exactly the problem? I am wondering if he ever brought up these issues before during the two years cus if he didn't notice them in the first 6 months, he surely would have by time one year passed. So this leaves me wondering what the two of you have discussed of the issues he says are the reason to end the relationship.
Hopefully his break up speech wasnt the first time he ever mentioned there were problems that make the relationship unhealthy. Normally the issues are brought up lovingly and worked on by both members of the relationship. If he had done this with you all along in the relationship, then you would be clear on what you needed to work on and he would be clear on what he needed to work on or if he had unreal expectations of the female sex. And you would have been able to tell me. I am betting you have no idea.
I would like to also point out that it is of importance to use words not just to tackle problems, but use words to build each other up and compliment each other. Did he ever do that for you, as a habit, on a regular basis. Building you up would be like if he saw you designing your own get well card for a friend he would take the opportunity to say, "You are such a caring, thoughtful person, she's lucky to have you for a friend. I think you have some great talent with the computer/with designing graphics, very artistic. " He could go on to say, "Have you ever considered possibly doing something like this to earn money, as your own business?" Thats what building up is, compliments and supporting your actions. Did you ever say things to him about what you appreciate about him? Guys need to feel needed and know how much they are appreciated.
I do wonder if he has been wanting out for a while and could not come up with a good excuse or the nerves to say anything until now...is that a possibility, him coming up with this as an excuse?
I would say you are not ready for dating others until you know what went wrong here. So either both of you work on it and alls good, or you discover what went wrong and if he's done with the relationship, then take into consideration what he said, see if it has any merit or value to you.
I will share a quote I came across that makes things very clear as far as why some relationships work and some don't.
"Happily ever after, doesn't happen just because we wish it so. It only happens when both parties put in maximum effort to 'make it so'".
That is sooo true. I put in 30 yrs with the guy I married at age 20. I was putting in 100% effort and he was putting in maybe 10%, almost nothing.
I learned the hard way that even if one partner was putting in effort, it took the other putting in no less than equal effort or there would be problems. It takes two to tango is another saying but doesnt get the message across as well.
You said you hang out once in a while but you initiate...is this since the break up or during the relationship?
If during, then he had already lost his interest in you some time ago if he wasn't initiating. If this is after breakup, I can't guess why he is willing to meet with you because not initiating any hanging out clearly means he is not interested. Either he doesn't want to put in the effort needed to fix the relationship (remember the quote?) cus relationships are hard work, or he feels bad for you even if he doesnt want a relationship with you and maybe this is his way of helping you cope with the break up by being available to meet if you call. I could be wrong. But he has to be willing to talk and discuss what the issues are/were. Its only fair to you, even if he's adamant about not getting back together. You need to know if it was a real issue or something he drummed up. If real, then at least you can work on it so you dont unknowingly do the same thing with the next guy.
OR...what is such a grievous terrible thing to him might be something the next guy adores about you. Who knows.
I am going to post links to you tube videos that may help. You can search on your own for more related to your situation, under datings tips for women or relationship tips for women. I try to get ones done by men because that helps give a better perspective. Here goes:
What men look for physically and emotionally in a woman (a young guy in a relationship explains what characteristics are most appealing to men. If you don't come close in some of the points mentioned, you may want to work on yourself.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymZYPcmfgzU
This guy acts out in brief skits the points he makes of what guys hate that girls do. Though funny and over exaggerated, for the most part, it is all very true and will kill a guys interest in a girl.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIiycBBV_Kk
A relationship expert named Matthew Hussey does lots of talks with tips for women. He has many on his channel. Here's one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCfthlQsThc
and another
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2HMZxHEetE
and his website: http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/
He wrote a book, Get the Guy. You may want to look for that.
The tips on how to 'get' a guy is behavior tips that work for 'keeping' the guy. If I were you, I'd ask my local bookstore if they have it, and if not, to order it for me. You might also want to do the reverse study too, as if you were the guy. How to treat a girl to keep her for example...and see what guys are being told is proper behavior for a healthy relationship. You may learn things about guys that you have accepted as Okay behavior but relationship experts tell the guys, Don't do that. Hope this helps you dear.
I am a 25 year old female and for somr reason people seem to think me abd my cousin are dating some people even think wr are married and I dont know why. Its not like we flirt or anything or act like we are . We just hang out all the time because even though we are cousins him and I are likr best friends we are super close. I will give you sn example . The other day we went todairy queen to go eat and we told the lafy who was taking our order we were paying seperate and the lady gave us a funny look and kept asking my cousin if he sure he wasn't paying for mine and he said yes and then gave him a dirty look. Why do people think we are in a relationship together?
Don't worry what others think. If you feel like correcting them, then do so but its not required, they are the ones making assumptions. As has been shared, it happens to others quite often. My younger sister lived close to my brother who had mental issues when he was alive so she spent lots of time helping him out with stuff. Even though she was married, if she went anywhere with my brother, people who didn't know her or somewhat knew her assumed that brother was her husband because of the closeness between them, even though they weren't romantic or such.
My sister is getting married in June and I'm going to be the maid of honor. I'm really excited about it and I want to do a great job, but there's one thing I'm extremely worried about. I'm afraid I'm going to screw up my speech at the wedding.
I'm not a great public speaker. When I was in college, I took a computer class and for our final exam, my classmates and I had to make power point presentations. We had to present them in front of the class and as soon as you presented yours, you had the option to leave. By the time I went, there were only four people still there. When I'm having a conversation with four people, I have no problem, but that day, I got tongue tied and kept studdering with every sentance.
Other problems are that I'm not always loud enough or am too loud. I have serious trouble making eye contact and can be extremely awkward. What can I do to get over this before the wedding?
That reminds me of book reports in school during a time of my life when i was extremely shy and not as self assured. I was given steps to take to get used to talking to people, but that was one on one. However once over the feeling of shyness or terror of talking to people, it didn't matter if it was a handful or dozens of people, I can share that with you. If you decide not to try it, or give up on it and feel its not working, as a last ditch effort, what you could do in your first sentence or two is be a bit honest mixed with humor to get them laughing. This gets them laughing with you, not at you in case you have problems as you continue. I know it may sound corny as a start but it will help you. Or you can always ask sis if she'd rather let you opt out and not speak at all.
Heres my idea: "As maid of honor for my sister, I knew I had to make some speech. Many of you don't know how hard it is for me. It can be very terrifying and scary because usually its a group of very scary looking people I have to talk to, like you guys. So if I have trouble and mess up at times, I just want you to realize ... (hesitate for a moment for drama effect)... that it's all your fault." Likely, you will get a lot of laughs and chuckles which is what you want. You don't have to talk worrying about a reaction from the guests, you've already gotten one. Then at this point, go ahead and say whatever you had planned to say about your sis and brother in law. If you get tongue tied or stutter, they will understand, a few who don't know you as well may think it is part of the act and actually laugh, but they are laughing at the humor--comedy, not at you.
If you want to work on shyness, here's your lesson. If you've mastered some steps, move on to the next one.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack something that looks absolutely hideous and showing it to her, "doesn't this look uncomfortable to wear? It reminds me of one of those fashions just for show, not very useful." Or "Even though I am small, I have a hard time finding things in my size, do you have the same problems finding things that fit you?”
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people.
This should help you.
So my boyfriend(now fiancé ) brought me for a perfect date tonight and asked me to marry him..
Why is this chick complaining?
I litterly came home and threw out my pathetic valentines gift for him. A giant rice crispie treat in the shape of a Hershey's kiss.
I have actually spent the whole night crying.
What do I do? I know it seems so insignificant but I'm actually devistated.
He litterly spent over $3000 on everything and I am the pathetic girlfriend who did a DIY from Pinterest.
The "Keeping up with the Jone's" mentality is not a good idea for practicing in a love relationship with one's sweetheart. This gets your mind thinking in negative ways that can hurt your relationship by stressing you out for nothing. Pitting yourself against him to keep at least even with him, on every thing he does, keeping a tally or a count or trying to do one better than him, is only being striven for by you for your own peace of mind. I understand youwanting to impress. but You have already impressed him dear...thats why he has asked you to marry him.
Couples should never have to compete with each other. If this man who is your fiancee, is going to be upset, disappointed or angry that you don't have something equally expensive to give him, then he is not the right guy for you. He is more interested in the gift and his actions and the whole 'show off' part than in loving you.
One of the great things about being a couple, is that when one is sad, the other is usually cheery and can help brighten the others day, when one is sick or hurting, the other is healthy and strong and can nurse the other back to health and help pick up the slack, etc. A good attitude for marriage is the act of Give and Take. When one is giving, the other is taking. On another day, the roles are reversed. You give without expecting exact immediate payment or gift in return. Giving with expectation of an equal or greater gift in reciprocation, is not giving out of real love. It is best to give and not expect any repayment in return...that is true love, otherwise it is being done with the expectancy of getting something out of it. We give money to the poor not because we expect them to pay us back, not because we want to feel like we earned our brownie points and can be proud of our selves, but because we love with no expectation in return.
Honey, I know how you feel. We all fall into the trap of making comparisons. Heck when I first heard from my 2nd husband online, I thought that intelligence wise, I was totally out of his league, that he would be bored with me because his speech and what he knew sounded like that of a person with many degree's and i only graduated highschool. Hahaha. Well, he is very impressed with my intelligence. Here's where the wonderful give and take or where ones weak ones strong comes in. The things I cant' understand or have no knowledge of, he does. But I've come to see that he relies on my intelligence in areas he actually has great difficulty with and so with our own differences, we come together to depend on each other to make up for where the other is lacking. It is a wonderful experience.
Your gift was not pathetic dear. All it had was a difference on dollar value on supplies spent. But there is no dollar value that can be put on love. He surprised you and caught you off guard unable to have as great a gift ready for him. But thats what a Surprise is about. If you knew ahead of time and could prepare for something grander in a gift, then it would not have been a surprise would it. I'll bet it gave him great joy to surprise you like this. If you worry about what you have for him, and make a big deal of it crying to him, then it will spoil his surprise. You will have plenty of chances in the years ahead to find a way to surprise him and lavish him with something special. Guys know they earn more than females, and unless they married a woman for her money are not expecting expensive gifts from their woman. There's a saying, "it's the thought that counts". Most men in general are not as much into the little touches that make a house a home, or into presentation of a meal or planning or remembering special events, and look to their lady for the creative touch and the flair for special touches.
I'll bet that one of the things he adores about you is your creative side. He may really enjoy but not have the patience or skill or even the desire to do so himself.
If you can rescue that homemade treat, do so now. If your hersheys kiss shaped rice krispie treat is no longer retrievable, what you do: I know it won't sound like much but the gift you can give him that he will treasure greatly is sharing with him what you emotionally went through. This is part of building emotional intimacy with a person, trusting them to be able to share anything and not be thought any less for it. In fact, I believe he may be very impressed.
Give him a Valentines card with a separate handwritten letter inside it. Put it in your own words but if I were you right now, here what I would write to my fiancee.
My dear, I am so overjoyed that you proposed to me. But I must confess that you really caught me by surprise, I had no idea that you were planning this. I know, if I knew, it wouldn't have been a surprise, however it put me into an emotional dilemna. All I could think of was the amount of money you spent on this wonderful Valentines gift for me and the thought that went into it. In comparison, I knew that the gift I had for you would never come close to being equal in value money wise, but maybe only in the thought behind it. I put my heart and soul into picking out a crafty idea for a gift that I could make with my own hands instead of buying a ready made treat at the store. Because of how much I love you, I would rather invest the time into making something because I felt that the personal touch would be more impressive. I came home and cried, all night in fact, and I threw out the treat I made for you because it seemed to pale in comparison to what you gave me. (if you were able to retrieve it, say so here)
I felt devastated, thinking I had to compete with you. I cried because I feared you might be greatly disappointed with my gift. But then I realized, you are marrying me, because you love me, not the gifts I can give you. My creative streak is just an extra benefit that comes with the package of Me. It's not fancy, it's not expensive, but it comes from my heart. Store bought was too impersonal for you because you are so special to me, and thats why I put my time and effort into planning the hershey shaped rice kripie treat. So I guess that right now I need reassurance that you are happy with my gift attempt, whether you get to eat it or not. Hahaha. I need to hear from you and know that my gift is not insignificant to you."
If this guy is worth his salt, he'll give you all the reassurance you need and may even save this card and letter to treasure for your entire marriage, or at least savor the memory of it.
Be an open book with him, you are both going to need to be like this for a good marriage...and share this with him.
My husband is a wonderful guy. Shortly after we got together and started dating, I confessed to him that I had felt I was no match for him intellectually when he first wrote me. He was actually surprised and my confession meant so much to him, it was like a gift in itself. He still compliments me every day on my skills, always building me up, because he realized in my confession that the comparison I made of myself to him, showed him that I needed to hear from him confirmations of what he appreciates in me. YOu will find in time that a gift of thanks and acknowledgement for what you do for him is something far more precious than money spent, there is no amount that can be put on that.
Good luck dear. I'd love to hear back how it goes.
I just cry over nothing a lot. I wake up at like 5 in the morning sometimes, cant sleep till 11 at night and I usually only get 6 hours of sleep but sometimes I sleep a lot and have naps during the day and feel really tired. I cry over petty little things and most times nothing at all! My eating has dropped and I only eat half of what I used to eat.
I cry and get upset over the smallest of things. And I don't want to either. I try to stop myself but I immediately get the tightness in my throat. My eyes get very watery and I would like to add that TONS of tears come out and I try to stop crying but I cant and I try to breathe in and out but I only cry more and I don't know what to do!
Even thinking about it makes my throat tighten and im scared because I don't know if it is a mental problem or something.
When im angry I cry, when im sad I cry, when I feel guilty I cry, when I hurt someone I cry, I just feel pathetic!
I've always thought I was one of those people that just brushes off what people say to you because no one has really bullied me but I realise when someone just call me something small I'll cry over it and I feel like a baby but I cant help it. is it stress? I don't know. :c
You didn't mention your age dear or your gender. I have not heard of males having such issues with crying but I suppose it is possible.If you are female,past your teen years and having this issue, it may be best to see your doctor. This could be caused by trauma in the past you've never healed from emotionally, or it could be a hormonal imbalance, easily treatable by the family doctor.
If you are a teen girl, please read on for a more in depth explanation.
When a girl goes through puberty, the hormones that her body are not used to will make every girl have her emotions go haywire. She loses control over her feelings and can become very sad, weepy and crys easily over nothing at all, or she is easily irritated or becomes angry or totally enraged. On the anger side, it is usually focused at another female, often mom, sisters or girlfriends. Some have these symptoms less than others and it pretty much goes by unnoticed. But others can be totally overwhelmed with their hormone way out of balance.
If this is something you've been experiencing only since starting to go through puberty, getting a period and developing breasts, then its pretty likely its the hormones causing it. Tell your mom that its only been happening since going through puberty but that it is very extreme. Ask her to take you to the family doctor. I read up on it on line where people write in their questions to doctors. In your case, it could be a hormonal imbalance which can happen for female older too, not just in teen years. But a medical doctor can take care of it in various ways, prescribing a birth control pill to help bring the hormones into balance or an antidepressant. I read comments from parents who said their daughters were on the medications only for the year or two that their condition was bad and later were able to get off the meds. This is only to help a female get through the puberty hormone change, not necessarily a life time medication you must take. So go see your doctor.
Hey iam 17year old and form india, i want to have sex with my girlfriend can i control my sperm as i don't want to use condom and get her pregnant, i don't wanna use pill to stop pregnancy.
I don't know if birth control is forbidden in India or not, if not, and taking a hormonal birth control is something she'd prefer not to take, she should check with a womens clinic or her doctor to see if the IUD is available in India. It is a device that is inserted into the uterus, will last up to 10 years, a doctor can remove it at any time before she is ready to have children and it won't interfere with her ability to become pregnant when married and ready to.
Light of truth told you the rest already, there is no way to 'control' your sperm other than having an operation, called a "vasectomy", in which the tube inside of you that supplies sperm to your ejaculate fluid is cut and tied off so it can no longer flow. But this is final, meaning you can no longer get any woman pregnant for the rest of your life so if you want kids some day...this would be the thing to do after you've had as many children as you want. Other than a vascetomy, there's no way to control the sperm
This guy and I constantly flirt. We talk outside of school. He asked me a few days ago to "use my computer" for a class he is taking at school. And I agreed to let him come to my house to use it. He came over at 5pm. He spent about 3 hours working on what he had to do with my help. when he was finished, he chose to stay at my house 2 extra hours. We sat at my kitchen table and watched YouTube videos until he had to leave which was at 10pm. He played with my animals and he seemed to enjoy himself. He said he would be coming back over soon. I have been in a bad relationship, and he knows. I dumped the guy I was dating in front of him. And he said "hmm." That was it. Does he like me and consider being with me? Or does he see me as just a good friend?
It sure looks like he's interested in you and considering being with you....
afterall, is this guy treating other girls with the same attention, flirting, finding good but real excuses to be in their presence? If it really was 'Only' about borrowing use of a computer, I am sure that at least one or two of his male friends had one he would be allowed to borrow for use. But he chose to ask you! That gave him a real excuse to be in your presence, in your house and to spend time with you. Pets are a pretty good judge of the character of people. They are good at picking up negative vibes if there are any. I have found over my life that a great majority of people who are truly good people at heart are ones who are animal lovers or nature lovers/gardeners. So he sounds like a great guy.
IF he said he will be coming over again soon, I am sure he will.
I am not clear on the timing of you dumping the other guy. Was it before he came to your house to use the computer? Then obviously he knows you are free to date and he is making his move to get close to you and prove to you that he is a great guy so you may want to date him.
IF you dumped the other boyfriend shortly after his visit to your home, he may have some questions in his mind but not be overly concerned. He may be wondering if his coming over and you dumping the other guy are connected but this isn't something to dwell on and over think.
What matters is that you finally did recognize what was "Bad" about the other relationship and decided to end it.
Don't be too concerned if he doesnt ask you immediately to be his girlfriend or try to kiss you, it doesn't mean he only wants to be a friend.
When lots of young guys begin to get interested in girls, their interest is often skin deep at first only, so just romance and sexual related.
Other guys want more than just the romance and want very much to get to know the whole you inside and out and become best friends too. The most successful long term relationships and marriages are the ones where not only are they best friends but they have romance and passion too. FOr me,relationships that started as close friends had better chance developing into romance than the ones where there was a strong spark or sexual relationship that developed first. People can be sexually compatible but not compatible as friends....you want both.
So be patient and see where this leads.
I really want my period but I know nothing about it cause no one ever had the talk with me. I took some online quizzes and they said any day now but I need info about it. I don't know if this helps but I'm already wearing a real bra!
Btw I'm 11
IN my time, schools used to teach the 5th grade girls in a private class about menstruation. And high schools used to have sex education. Due to lack of funding or changes in school board votes, it is now almost non existent. I am glad to hear that you want info on it and from there it will be good to also 'self educate' yourself on the entire topic of sexuality and sex for future reference.
One of the best places to go for information is Planned Parenthood as they have been dealing with educating people about sexuality and gender related or relationship issues for a long time. Here is a link to the topic of 'first period'.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/info-for-teens/our-bodies/girls-first-period-33814.htm
I have read it and it is very thorough. The only thing I didn't see addressed which I have gotten questions about is the color of a period discharge.
If its really light, and the first couple drops of blood are mixing with the natural whitish to clear vaginal cleansing discharge, then it could be a pale pink for a short while before it becomes red with more of a flow. If the flow is delayed in starting usually due to stress or having been ill, there can be a brownish red discharge, like the color of drying blood. This too is normal and eventually your normal red flow will start.
There are many other helpful topics along the side in the purple tool bar. I've read almost all of them. I find it all helpful information to a preteen who is self teaching about all topics related to sexuality.
Another site I find helpful is a you tube user LaciGreen who has worked with Planned Parenthood in producing educational videos
http://www.youtube.com/user/anakednotion
However she has way more topics covered in her own Sex positive you tube site covering even dating and relationship topics such as how to talk to your crush. She's funny, entertaining, videos are short 3-4 mins and she's kinda in the peer age range at her early 20's. She also lists links to some of her favorites where you can get even more information.
Heres a link to Laci
http://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
Good luck dear. Enjoy the process of learning.
hello I am 18 ye old and m 5" ft main apni height badana chahti hu
The height of your body is something you can not change. It is hereditary. Even if your father is taller, somewhere in the family line on either side of the family is the gene to be shorter in height. Since you are 18, you may still grown another inch or two. One thing you can do is search for a comfortable pair of boots, some cowboy boots and a bit of a heel, nothing drastic like womens high heel shoes but you may gain an inch or two in height that way.
The girls who are 5 ft and under in height may end up with a taller man but there will be many who prefer a man not so great a difference from their height. I am 5'2, my husband 5'5. When I was dating, I liked going dancing and the guys who were much taller, I did not like doing the slow dances with, they couldn't really hold me close and have my head rest on their shoulder, more like my head at their stomach height, which I did not care for. I once met a couple where the guy was my height and his wife 5'10. She told me that he might be short in height and but he had length in another area. And that was more important. For some people, ones personality and character is more important, especially if a woman has experienced a taller man who treated her like crap. So focus on your best attributes, not what you are lacking. If a girl is not interested in you because of your height only, then she is shallow and not worth your time anyhow.
I just want to know that does the cramps am have means am pregnant? And since I am done with the first pack where I should start taking my pills on red one on on the light brown?
All the birth control pills of different brands and a single hormone or double hormones, are going to have different color schemes. There's so many that just hearing the color doesnt guarantee we know which one you are taking.
Since you mention just finishing first pack, this must be the first time you've ever tried hormonal birth control pills. There are many side effects a female can get from taking the pill. Your cramps may be one of them. I suggest talking to the Doctor who issued the pill to you and let them know about your cramps and while you're talking to them,get instructions from them on proper use of it and follow it to a Tee. Any change of missing a day or with some pills, just taking at a different time of day, can increase chances of pregnancy. Until you see your doctor, use an extra protection like condom if you plan to have sex because if you are unsure which pills to take or you think you may have deviated from the regular usage of pills as prescribed, then use the condom until you see the doctor and tell him about the cramps. And tell him also what pills of which color you've taken and of any days where you may not have taken. Your doctor won't know of potention problems for you if you do not advise him/her of how yoYu have taken the pills which ones, and on what days and what times.
Most likely, the cramps are a side effect and he'll give you a different dose amount or have you try a different brand. But you can ask if theres a possibility of being pregnant and get tested for it at the same time. But you need to see Dr. because of the cramps.
So im 13/m, and im friend with this nice girl(sometimes), she used to have a jerk as a bf and now cant find anyone else to go out with. Everytime i make a small mistake with her(not academically) like i say something stupid, she gets pissed at me, first i thought it was just her periods but its getting more and more. plz help..am i doing stuff wrong?
No, you are not doing anything wrong. All girls when they go through puberty will experience changes to their emotions, just that some experience it alot stronger and worse and it can get worse over time and it can last for years.
I should know, I had 3 daughters...lol !
What happens is that the extra hormones racing through the body cause a females emotions to go haywire, in ways totally different to her normal temperament. She can cry easily or get upset and weepy for absolutely no reason, or as in the case with your friend, get pissed easily for no reason, maybe really angry or totally out of control enraged.
Some adult women have troubles monthly right before their period, and its called PMS, pre menstrual symptoms. But in the case of young girls, its not just pre menstrual but every day because the body is not used to the increasing flow of hormones released in the body that werent there before. She may not be aware that this is happening with her. She may be irritated that she doesnt have a boyfriend currently but that is less likely to be the cause. If the two of you are pretty good friends and it seems like her extreme irritation with you is getting worse, hoping she'd be open to a heart to heart talk on one of her good days. Don't point out that she is having troubles. Tell the story about yourself to introduce this information cus she may not realize what she is doing. I'd say, "Hey I learned that girls our age will have reactions from the extra hormones of going through puberty. It's supposed to make us more sad, cry easy, or get angry all the time real easy. That kinda explains why my own emotions have felt different than usual. How about you? Do you feel like you are different at times than your usual self, feeling easily angry or weepy? This is a way to get her talking and realizing it. If she denies anything being wrong with her, then there's nothing you can do to make her see it or come to that conclusion herself. At least you will know to not take anything personally.
Another things girls will do is become really bitchy towards and fight with another female of any age, but usually one female in their daily world will get the brunt of it, whether its mom, sisters or friends at school. My girls never lashed out at me or friends, they just targeted each other. I didn't allow them to use this hormone thing as an excuse though to get away with such behavior but as an opportunity to begin to learn and exercise some self control of their emotions. We all have to learn sometime, don't we.
I am new to this website.. My question is that I am on my period and my clitoris seems to kinda hurt i've never experienced this before. I am 19. It kinda itched early so I itched it and that is when I noticed it. It does not hurt terribly but something I am kind of worried about.
I have experienced not itching but soreness from a period lasting longer than usual and the wetness against the skin for that prolonged amount of time making it feel sensitive and sore. Perhaps washing with only water, (no soap and patting dry will help)
If however this is the start of an infection, Females will get them life long no matter how concientious they are about their health and whether or not they are sexually active. The itching is one of the signs of vaginitis.
Vaginitis is an inflammation of the vagina It can result in discharge, itching and pain, and is often associated with an irritation or infection of the vulva. You may not feel anything anywhere else yet if its just starting. So if it gets to feeling worse over the next day or two, call and make an appt with the Dr. or go to planned parenthood. They can help too.
My ex boyfriend used to love me so much and truly care about me. One day he just changed, started never wanting to see me, being just mean and didnt give a shit. Me being an idiot, held on so tight, hoping hed go back to how he was, which made him even more horrible. he broke up with me, i was heartbroken, 2 weeks later we were in the same club,despite him being the one to end it, i vowed to myself i wouldnt go off with another boy in front of him to save his feelings, he saw me there and had another girl on his lap then walked straight passed me looking at me in the eye, and slept with her down some alley. He knew what he was doing would hurt me, how did he turn out to be such an asshole? But a part of me still loves him because i keep remembering the good times? Any advice to get over him? How could he change into the opposite of what i always thought he would be.
The good times you remember, if someone else was experiencing them may not be described as 'good times'. Its really hard for a person to switch character that greatly that quickly unless something like street drugs is involved or he started heavy drinking, some substance that would change his character.
Otherwise, I'd say its a safe bet that this things you see now were always a part of who he is at core and he just happened to be very good at putting on an act to get a girl. If he is not into having a serious relationship at this point in his life or doesnt ever want one, then perhaps the moment he sense a girl getting serious, he dumps her or begins to treat her bad and rub it in to make sure she doesnt try to get back with him. Some guys are afraid of commitment for various reasons and others are just plain douche bags. The heart gets involved and develops feelings for a person and we pin our hopes on it turning out and the heart will eventually heal. But the feelings we develop for a person aren't always because the person is kind and loving, there are women who love men who are verbally, emotionally and physically abuse and threaten to kill them and yet stay because their heart says, I love him. What needs to happen is that women learn to love themselves first and foremost before loving a man, or it takes higher priority than loving a man. If a woman truly loved herself, she would not deliberately want to subject herself to that treatment. I know what I am talking about. I thought I used to love myself with ex husband but I continued to allow him to treat me abusively out of misguided ideas I had mostly based on religious reasons. So I don't know what your misguided ideas and beliefs may be if any, but trust me, you are better off without him. It takes time, your heart will heal in time.
I've had my period for 3 years now and I normally use pads, occasionally tampons... but most of the time I do use tampons, my body rejects them. I know how to properly insert one, but.. my body says no. Today, I put in a tampon and it felt perfectly fine for about 5 minutes, but then I began to walk around and now I can feel it. How can I get it to be "normal"???
I remember those days as a teenager. The first couple times I used a tampon, I followed the instructions for inserting it. But I never inserted far enough. If at any point youThe moment I began to walk around or sat down, I could feel it. That sensation happens when it is not in far enough. Once its in far enough, you can actually forget it is there.
You can't lose it or get it in too far that it is not retreivable. Your vagina dead ends at the cervix. It can't go any further than that. Once you get more comfortable with your body and learn to insert far enough your problems should stop. If not, perhaps it is due to the size of the tampons. Some are bigger in size for women who have heavier flows. So you might also try a different brand and size.
If you continue to have problems, you may want to go see a Dr. if you have never had a female checkup. There are rare cases where a young females hymen is a strip that goes down the middle rather than off to a side (septate hymen), This causes two openings to the vagina. Use of Tampons is difficult because of this and sex or use of larger objects such as dildos will be worse. For most girls with this condition, there is pain, tearing, bleeding and some have not been able to remove the tampon at all in extreme cases and had to see a dr. If you have this, it could also be an explanation of why you feel discomfort.
I'm dating a guy I don't want to be with but in not so good at breaking up. We have been together a month and a half and he has probably spent over 200 dollars on dates with me. I feel so bad because it's almost valentines day, should I break up with him now or after? He said he has a surprise for me coming valentines day and I don't know what to do. My friend suggested breaking up before valentines because it would give the guy time to return whatever he got me. I need help, I'm not gutsy when it comes to things as such.
You need to figure out why you are dating, and the real purposes of it before you can find it easier to break up.
There are two basic reasons why people are dating:
If you are dating only as a social thing, not serious about finding a life long partner right now, then that is something that should be communicated at the beginning of a dating relationship. SO if he decides to invest money into taking you out, and gifts, when you are not serious about him at the time, then that is his decision and you don't have to feel bad about it, you own him nothing.
If you are dating to find a life long partner and ready to find 'the right one', then it makes no sense to stay with someone that your gut instinct tells you is not the right one. Dating should be a stress free way of checking out guys to see if you like them and keep spending more time together, discovering more if at each stage you find you still like him. If at any point something changes or you discover some things about him that you don't like, then the dating has served its purpose, you've discovered he is not a good man at all or not right for you.
Attraction isn't always fair. Sometimes both people are equally attracted to each other, and sometimes it ends up that only one is.
Your friend is right, it is time to say something to him now before Valentines day.
I think you may have such a hard time also because of how you view the parting of two people who are dating. The word Breaking kind of has a negative feel to it. Like as a kid, getting in trouble for breaking something, ruining something,, that sort of thing. So you may be too focused on "breaking up" as a negative thing only, when actually it as an end result is a positive thing for you, and actually will be for him when he looks back at it in the future. It would be not fair to him for you to pretend to have feelings and love for such a person, even to the point of marriage someday. He deserves to have a woman who is head over heels in love with him cus the whole relationship will be more wonderful and rewarding. You deserve the same thing. The dating process does not necessarily mean you have made a commitment to someone, you are only checking them out. And the checking out process takes some time, it can be months and months of discovering more about the person. It is easy to act nice on a date but living with the person 24/7 will reveal things about them that are now not as easy to hide, things that are very negative and hurtful to you.
So in the future, tell any guy if you are serious about long term partners, that you are serious about finding the right guy so you are not making a commitment to him right now by dating, only to take your time to check him out and see if you are compatible.
For this guy, apologize and say, "I am sorry for not being clear with you in the beginning, or saying anything the moment I knew...but I am not making a commitment to be someones girl just by dating them, dating for me is a way to find out if the guy is right for me. We've been on enough dates that I can tell I don't want to date you any longer. You are a very nice man, and you deserve a girl who is going to be as crazy about you and you are for her. So I need to bring this to an end now. I wish you the best in finding the right girlfriend, but i am not it."
There is no guarantee in life that you meet the right person with the first person you date thereby never having to go through the pain of ending a dating relationship.
Its highly likely that every person will experience the pain of rejection, or the pain of being in a relationship where the other begins to resent them since they are mismatched. Saying nothing or waiting longer will only make a bigger mess of the letting go process. If you are waiting for him to somehow read your mind and figure it out without having to say a word, he may be that blinded by love and may not see it for a long time if ever and you end up married or getting cold feet and leaving him at the alter. This is something you must learn to do, be honest up front.
You must also learn to ask questions. The moment a cute strange guy asks, hey would you like to go out with me? You answer him not with yes or no, but asking a question. "Before I can give an answer, I need to know more about you. Are you looking for someone to settle down with, or just for a social girlfriend. Do you like to date several girls at once or only commit to one? Are you looking only for a sex partner but no other commitment than that? (Some women who are divorced young and had a bad marriage, want the sex but don't want to get into another serious relationship) so the question is appropriate. If he gives the right answers for you, then date him. If at any point, he shows that his words and actions don't match, stop seeing him, he's not worth the time of any girl, he's not relationship material.
I hope this helps you. You need to do the hard work, no one is going to do it for you.
I am from India . My boyfriend did fingering last month .now my periods are delay m worried . Am I pregnant ?
If he had some of his sperm on his fingers when he did this, then yes, there is a chance of being pregnant. You will need to take a pregnancy test to confirm or rule the possibility. There are other reasons for a period being late, one of which is stress, and another recent illness which can knock a period off.
is it bad to pee myself i am 30 years old
If you never had the problem before but now find yourself unable to control your bladder, it could easily be a medical problem. There are adults who have this issue for various reasons, its called Incontinence amd there are many different reasons for it and many different types. It can be socially very embarassing to have this happen. But it is nothing odd or bad to Doctors, they see this condition more than you would think in people of all ages ranging from young athletes to the elderly. So I advise you to go see your doctor. Be honest in sharing everything in detail that you are experiencing and the Dr. will find a medication that helps this urine leakage to stop.