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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Im 19 and my period ended on the 7th and a few days after I was having bright red spotting and am still having the spotting. I just started on the depo shot on the 2nd and was wondering if that had something to do with it. Please help, I'm very scared that something is wrong:(

Hi Hon. If this is your first time on birth control, the doctor should have given some instructions on it and what ifs for any thing out of the ordinary happens. If written instructions and you lost or misplaced them, then call and tell them whats happening and ask if its normal and nothing to worry about and get info on what are warning signs.

I have read that break through bleeding is possible on the pill which is a hormone based birth control, which is what the shot is also but it isn\'t as commonly given as the pill so I havent heard but its likely its just break through bleeding.

Doctors have always told me if I have extra heavy bleeding, cramping, pain or pain with sex, that I need to see them asap. If you don\'t have any such symptoms, then theymay ask questions over the phone and give you answers there without an appointment. If you started so recently, they may want to wait it out until the shot expires before trying you on a different birth control.
Good luck

Relationships scare the crap out of me. I can't fathom how one minute everything is good and the next it's not. My boyfriend and I have been in a low phase and he says he wants it to work out still and really loves me. But his actions aren't showing it lately (past week).
My best friend just got broken up with and was talking to me about it and he said that they just weren't happy and wanted different things. I think me and my guy want the same. But I feel like he would lie about it to make me happy. Which is the worst thing he could do because it's never gonna work if he isn't happy...and instead of carrying on with this I could work on bettering myself. I do love him though! Ugh why is love so hard and always leading in heartbreak?
I'm 23 by the way.

Heartbreak is pretty much inevitable in dating and relationships especially when a person is still in the learning and gathering information stage on a person. You don\'t date long term to be able to say you\'ve done it, you date long enough to find out enough about the character and traits of a person to know if

1. They are healthy mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritual and are therefore a \'whole\' person. You don\'t find a \'better half\' in a relationship as is commonly assumed. A person who is lacking in some way is going to be \'needy\' because they are not \'whole\' and require getting what they need from their partner, leaning on their partner for everything, this is an out of balance relationship and will not work.

2. Discover who the person is at their core, the values, morals and beliefs they have that are what color all their actions in life. A person of strong moral character can be trusted to keep their word, not lie to themselves or others, treat all life with respect, that includes females, animals, plants, etc... A person weak at their core, having no beliefs or directions is prone to not stick with anything for long, break promises to self and others, and will always have rocky relationships.

3. Does the person love themself, honor himself, not ego, but has a good self image, comfortable in their own skin, and able to laugh at theirself, and also to forgive themself for mistakes?

Once you\'ve determined if the person meets the 3 area\'s above, then its a matter of having things in common, common goals and beliefs in life, same hopes and dreams, and likes. and of course also a good attraction and desire and sexual compatibility too.

If you can learn to recognize the signs of trouble area\'s in a mans character, you can learn to back away from it. At first it may take dating someone a couple times, two or three times to know he\'s not the right one. Eventually, you can get so good you can walk into the party or restaurant, bar and observe all the men there and without them having approached you, already know whether they are to be avoided or a good possibility.
I loved the man I married at age 20. I poured my life into him and the marriage. It was a waste of time for 30 years later, after praying to God to change him, God said \"I Gave him free will, just as I gave you. He is making choices that are counterproductive to a healthy relationship, he is not a whole person. He may learn to make some right decisions if you leave him, if you stay, He will certainly not learn. You must leave him. I give you that choice. If you do not leave, you will die within 4 years from now from heart attack or cancer. That woke me up. I finally left.
Earlier, I loved him no matter how badly I was treated, how bad the relationship was. But repeated ill treatment eventually killed any heart ties to him. I still cared about him as a human being and wished him no ill but knew I did not belong with him. I had something to learn in the process of being with a dysfunctional, incomplete person like him. And I did learn it.
If you find yourself repeatedly running into the same kind of problems and same kind of men, then perhaps there is a lesson your soul needs to learn in this lifetime and there is no escaping it, no matter what I tell you. You might have to discover what it is you are meant to learn and not just successfully accomplish it just once, but again in a test to make sure you really did learn it and not fall back into a trap. I was tested too. Once I passed my 2nd test, it was 6 weeks until I met the 2nd man I married, the love of my life. We are both whole healthy people and the difference in the relationships from my first one, is like night and day.

My wish for you is that it doesnt take you a lifetime to learn what you need to learn.

So me and and my boyfriend haven't been dating for too long but he always makes me feel so special. Almost all the dates we've been on he makes me flowers with yarn (he crouché's) and the other night he planned a whole night about me to make me feel special. I want to do something to show him how much I like him and make him feel special as he does have some confidence issues. We are going on a date in a few days where we are going to do a picnic in the country but during a thunderstorm since we both like watching the stars when it's raining. I plan on writing him little love notes that I'm going to hide in his car and places so he can find them. But I wanted to either make or bring him something to surprise him and I need some suggestions? Any have any ideas of what I can do, even if they are actions I can do to make him feel special? Preferably not something sexual as I want it to be more of a romantic thing but if it's a good sexual idea I'll take it :) thanks in advance lovelies

I remember making masculine style choker necklaces for guys I dated. Got the supplies at craft stores. If you know his favorite color and if he has a favorite stone, craft stores like Michaels will have the real semi precious stones. Then finish it off with a pendant also should be available for common things people like, a star, moon, dolphins, sharks tooth, arrow head, etc... Thats something homemade that has impressed any guy I\'ve ever given one to and they actually wore it.
Bring his favorite drink in a thermos since you mentioned stars-must be at night when its cooler, whether its a certain flavored coffee, chai tea, hot cocoa or perhaps something special-non warm like a bottle of Martinelli\'s apple cider if its in stores in your area. It looks like a green bottle of wine but is non alcoholic. Make some homemade cookies to bring along too for the picnic part of it. Everyone has a different way they recognize when they are being shown love and prefer to show it the same way. For some people, it\'s just quality time spent together and if he is such a person, the rest of what you do won\'t matter more than just your presence but will be appreciated. Some like giving and receiving gifts, which he\'s already done, so the homemade cookies will do well. Others show affection best by physical touch and appreciate the same in return. You might offer to massage his shoulders. Another non sexual way to touch is to give a scalp massage. Try it on yourself first and you\'ll see it good it feels. Another way people show love and affection is Words of Affirmation, loving thoughtful things said or written...which you already are planning on with the love notes. Lastly, some folks show how special someone is to them by Acts of service-serving them, doing stuff for them that they can do themselves, helping out with chores...which doesnt seem to fit your scenerio. Anything you do that covers the other area\'s will make it memorable.

So I'm a 21 year-old male and still have never had sex. I know it may not seem like a big deal, but the thing is I just started school at a university that is known as a "party school" where there is a lot of casual sex going around and many hot girls. I just kinda feel pressured to get into the whole party scene and the casual sex thing, but I'm really kind of an introvert. I am not bad looking or anything (average weight/average heigh), but I can't say that I'm the smoothest guy out there. I live away from campus and dont really get the chance to be around people that much. I just feel like everyone else is just having sex with random people but I feel like i need to do it with someone whom I'm in love with. (it sounds kinda lame) but i dont know, there are different parts of me that doesnt know what to think. Is this something I should be worried about? I just feel pressured and kinda like a loser for not having done it yet, especially when I am in college. Any advice would be helpful.

For lots of college kids or even those back in high school, their first time having sex isn\'t all that memorable for the very reason you gave, they were not in love, real love with the person.
It\'s not how many times you\'ve had sex that makes you a good lover, it\'s really loving the person you are uniting with that way, wanting to seek their pleasure first, so if both felt that way and were both giving at the same time, thats the most wonderful. Another thing that helps is studying anything you can get your hands on regarding the anatomy of a female and physiology of orgasms and all the details of the different types of orgasms, health care and concerns for the females genetalia and lots of other things. Most people dive right into sex without taking time to learn. Its actually a lifelong learning experience. I am in my fifties and I still occasionally learn and experience something new with my husband. A sexual relationship with someone you love isn\'t something you have to experience all the different aspects of in the first few times you are together, its a journey of exploration together. What it is not is a Buffet style restaurant where you feel you have to try a little of everything on the menu all on one night to get your moneys worth on the meal. A person is in danger of having a sick stomach doing that. Some people know themselves well enough that just the memories of having drunken sex they don\'t remember, or not enjoying it can leave a person with memories that make them feel heart sick with the remembrance. Take your time. Focus on studies and if you do happen across a nice gal, date her and see what happens, otherwise, finish college and then focus on finding your sweetheart. Not everyone finds the best person for life the first time around. I married at 20, it was a disaster, and finally by age 50 had found the love of my life the 2nd time around. Since you say you are more of the introvert, you might also search the web for guys who give men dating and relationship advice. Learn ahead of time how to approach a gal to start up a conversation with her, all the do\'s and dont\'s. Go over it til its drilled in your head and you will be prepared when the time comes.

y

I have a good friend. For the past few years we've been so close people thought we were dating. She's my "go to", but there is nothing sexual between us. She began dating someone a few weeks ago, and since then my friend and I are considerably less "intimate" than we were. We hang out less, talk less, etc. When I pointed this out to her and told her it made me feel left out, she told me I was making things "awkward", and she's pretty much cut me off almost completely. We live together, but now we have the minimum contact possible. What do you think is going on? What should I do? I don't want to give up on our friendship. FYI... we are both 40-something females.

Rainhorse is right. Its the new relationship, nothing to do with you that has her acting differently towards you.

I have heard it called New Relationship Energy and have found it to be sooo true. When I have been in a new relationship, its all I can think about or want to make myself available for. Friends and other commitments fall to the wayside.
It is also something all the young college age singles notice when two of their friends get married. All of a sudden the two married people are not available for their friends until this \'high\' of emotional energy they are riding smooths down to its normal every day level, one in which they may still be head over heels in love but now have time for friends. Until you have experienced the same for yourself, you won\'t be able to understand how strongly this NRE affects people.
And I have not known anyone who is able to find a way to resist going through this.
If someone is dating a person and not experiencing this level of want to focus only on them, then they may be hanging with someone more like a best friend than a romantic dating partner.

Give it time, eventually, she\'ll come back into your life. Just act as if nothing happened, no time separation and just pick up the friendship where you left off. NRE doesnt usually last any longer than a period of a month to maybe 5,-6 months from what I have experienced. Perhaps others have seen it last longer, its possible. Just don\'t worry about it.

Hey! I'm sorry this is the last thing. I got my computer so I can actually tell you a little more details that would help a little more and help me make things a little simpler. This guy "John". We were friends in highschool, we would hangout in class and during lunch. He always had his own friends though so we were either with our own friends or with eachother. we would walk to the store singing together different songs all the time, my friend would look at us real weird and tell us how strange we were but we didn't care we would just keep singing. A couple times after school ended I would go to his house and we would just hangout and talk and what not. and i always had a little crush on him. It was a school crush i thought. we were just good friends. Then he moved out of state, and we would message eachother every now and then, it wasnt anything major cause we were both in relationships when we were in school together and i continued to have relationships after. i even got married and then seperated from him. im 21 by the way it was a short relationship and we rushed into things way to soon. well anyways. i know one night a guy was trying to hook up with me he didnt want to talk about my feelings or anything he just wanted to hook up. and so i got upset i was really drunk and crying sitting in my car. i messaged him on facebook and begged him to call me and he did it was like 3am and we talked. well he talked i sobbed like a maniac complaining to him why guys just like me cause they want to sleep with me and i wish more guys were like him cause he was so sweet and nice, and that i love him and hes my best guy friend in the world and what not. the whole emotionally drunk shabang. well he was just so soothing and calm the entire time telling me once i realize fairytales arent real then ill be more accepting of things and it wont be so hard on me and how hes not perfect either. in case you ask, he did say that he loved me too and i was a really good friend. but ive realized he says he loves all his friends, so im not taking it any which way. anyways after that night we still talked here and there like usual, then he came back into town and he asked if i wanted to hangout before i leave. i said yes, well we had said we were probably going to go to this town thing the next night and wed maybe run into eachother he asked me for my number so we can contact eachother, i didnt think to ask for his and he never gave it to me. we used to text eachother but he got rid of his phone and got a new one and yadadadada. well when he passed by me and went around the corner to see if it was me he saw it was and pulled over (my first question) he got out we talked and thats when his eyes did that thing and i have no idea how to explain it, and my sister said wow you need to say something he just went out of his way to get over here when he didnt even know for sure if it was you, he has to have some kind of feelings. to a point i believe what she said but then i dont because people pull over for there friends all the time to say hi. well i got so happy when i realized it was him, then so sad when we parted, well since that night he hasnt messaged me back on facebook or even opened my message. and this is when i overthink, i know when i dont want to talk to someone i dont open the message so they think i never saw it, well he had been active on and off for the last few days, and no reply no opened message, but the last couple days it just says mobile. and i understand its mothers day and everything hes probably busy, but i just dont know what to do or say to get his attention, cause i dont have his phone number or know where hes staying.and im leaving on wednesday. i just want to see him but im worried that the last time we saw eachother since itd been so long since we saw eachother maybe he just decided he doesnt want to talk to me or anything anymore cause its been over a week now. and nothing. and thats where i am now. and im so confused and lost and i cant stop thinking about him or how awesome it would be if i ran into him or something. and thats why im so lost on what i should say or do, and im so sorry this is so long. but maybe this can give you a better idea? and happy mothers day by the way if you have a child :)

The piece of info that stuck out for me this time is your phone call to him when upset. He was willing to drop whatever he was doing and be there for you to comfort you.
I\'m a female who has had \'male\' friends. My opinion is that a male who is friends with a girl but doesnt have deep feelings for her is not going to consistantly be able to do well cheering her up or consoling her. There is a difference in my mind between best friends of mine and my 2nd husband I am with now. If I have a bad day or am upset over something, it\'s not just because he knows me well enough to know the right words to say. (any close friend can do that) My husband also has a deeper love for me than any other friend, his heart becomes involved when he see\'s tears or see\'s me upset or even like when I am ill, it actually breaks his heart, makes it ache to see me in such a place.
The words your guy spoke next are important,

telling me once i realize fairytales arent real then ill be more accepting of things and it wont be so hard on me and how hes not perfect either.

It\'s one thing for him to say that perhaps you have a dream perception of how a relationship with a guy should be, perhaps he sees you as acting like a perfectionist. A person like ty
hat will never be happy with anything or anyone, always finding fault, reason or excuses that someone or something won\'t be good enough for you.

If he was sharing that as a caring friend, to help you along on your future path, thats fine but he took time to add that he wasn\'t perfect either.
That makes me wonder if he thinks you are looking for something that you\'ll never find because its already in front of you. He knows he\'s human and makes mistakes too and may be afraid that your standards are too high to ever consider dating him. From your history, you both have dated others but never each other. Why? Does he think you would never consider him because of his age too? Once we are adults, the age doesnt really matter. (My husband is a full year younger than me) I don\'t know what vibes you\'re giving off if you really have wanted to date him cus he\'s not picking up on it if so.

The kind of person you are describing him to be is long term relationship material if the romance/sexual part works out for you. Is that why one or both of you are holding back on dating each other?
Here\'s a little something I will share that I have learned in my life: A person needs to make themselves vulnerable before they can be approachable to be loved and to be able to give love. Otherwise you hold an internal barrier in place inside you to protect yourself from being disappointed or to protect ones heart from being hurt or broken. In trying to protect ourself, we actually cut ourselves off from having any of relationship, never allowing ourselves to get close enough to anyone because we have standards of perfection or because we fear being hurt.

You are indeed at a crossroads of learning how to get past what holds you back. I know you\'re young, so if you fail this time, this lesson will repeat throughout your life until you learn it. We\'re not talking marriage yet. Many who date do so because they have feelings of love but after a few years realize they are not the best for each other. Funny thing is, you two haven\'t fully given it a try. So you can\'t really know that you won\'t work out as a romantic couple.

So he has a new phone number which you don\'t have? You must know some family member of his after all these years, who does have the number. Get it from them and call him. But before you call him, decide for what reason you are calling dear.

1. You are calling to release him from feeling he has to keep himself available for you. You tell him you\'ll never love him like a romantic girlfriend thing so you are releasing him to go find that special woman for himself where he can give all this special attention that he gives you, to his lady friend and eventually future wife.

Can\'t see yourself telling him that? Its no fair to try to keep him to yourself, emotionally available for you but not taking the step to profess love. In this case, since I can see you\'re clearly bit by the love bug, your only other choice is:

2. Tell him that you can\'t stop thinking about him. That your heart can\'t stop missing him and feeling love and desire for him. You know that he\'s not perfect and you\'re not either but you can\'t think of anyone you\'d rather spend time with encouraging each on along on the path to growing personally tho accepting each other where ever you\'re at, faults and all, and enjoying life together.

Coming to a place of confession like this, if he feels the same means discussing future for you both, such as where you two live, jobs and how it either keeps you close enough to date or not. If two people are crazy about each other, they will make changes to be close to each other. Yes jobs are important but so is the daily closeness of someone you love.

I can see white orbs, literally, all over my room. I was able to see spirits my entire life. I've seen good ones and bad ones. I've been physically hurt by a demon. Let me tell you that story: I was having a dream where a very small kid from school whom I'd kill in a fight was beating the crap out of me, and all my punches were defenseless against him. No one would help me, in fact a teachwr threatened to beat me up if I tried to defend myself against that “poor boy" and that teacher I saw is the nicest teacher in the school in real life! I woke up at the point where I died, and I hurt so badly all over. I saw a black, ugly, evil force crawling around my room. I prayed to God, then remembered my religion teacher giving us the saint Michael's prayer. I left it in my folder. I tore my folder apart looking for it, but it was no where to be found! I told my mom who also sees spirits and she told me this is when I have to get help from God, and now I have to tell the demon to leave. I did that, and stopped seeing it. That's when the white orbs started. But I still had increasing demonphobia. I implied it to my mom so she gave me a saint Micheal card. She showed me the picture and said,“see what he's doing? You don't need to fear demons, it's the rule of the universe spirits can't be in your home if you tell them to leave. And if a demon still stays you have to fight it with prayer." I know I have the gift, but I still have so many questions: how to I avoid evil spirits? Why won't spirits show their face? Why do I have this? Can everybody do this? How can I communicate with them? I want answers from experienced people, not non believers. You shouldn't pay attention to my question if you are a stupid ass who doesn't believe.

I\'ve not seen orbs, but I do believe and have seen photos of gathering and generational photos where a mysterious orb or haze is hovering amoung the people in the photo. I did not have the giftings as a child but rather came to what I do have as an adult through a curious way. It was through learning how to really hear the Holy Spirit so well as thoughts in my head that it almost felt like having a split personality and having conversations with another personality of mine. I was tested in many ways to the point that I could tell when it was my thoughts or from God. The church wont usually address this subject because most of the church believes anything unexplainable like this to be automatically of the devil. I had to forge a path to understanding and learning what to do with my limited giftings pretty much on my own. Since I have no where near what comes so easily to you, it may be better for you to seek out someone who does work with helping teach and counsel kids and teens , young people with these abilities. Here\'s one link I found:
http://psychicmediumatyourservice.com/Children.html

In my church days, I used to have more dreams of Satan and demons...not often but since leaving the church, I have not been exposed to the incredible interest and focus the church puts upon demons and hell and devil. I have come to learn that like our creator we have ability to create just like him, only for us it\'s within our limited existance on this planet. How we do this is with our minds. I read about this in a way for example in The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge. Not only the Yaqui Indians but many beliefs systems around the world are aware of this. The one place it seems to be absent is in the Christian faith. That is dangerous because so many Christians end up unintentionally creating or drawing towards them draw energies, or dark spirits.
Moths are drawn to light. They live during the night but are actually creatures created by God, and so creatures of the light. The dark entities are not drawn towards the light but towards fear, and the focused thoughts on dark things, its like that light they zero in on, its like a beacon to the dark side. There are times when you may be around someone who is very negative or draws negative things to them, or other situations, but it really shouldn\'t be a constant thing. Since learning more on my spiritual path since following the leading of Holy Spirit on a more individualized path just for me, I find no problems with anything of demons and hell anymore. I have learned to protect myself from any negative energies or negative intents of people by picturing in my mind what I am most comfortable using. Pretty much anything works, thats whats so great about our ability to create using our mind. I picture a large bubble, like a giant clear soap bubble that is strong, and its surrounds me and moves with me, I can see it in my mind but its not in the way in real life. It is a strong barrier of pure light energy that nothing evil or negative can get through to get to you. If I forget, I can always rely that my guides or angels are protecting me. I once had a creepy person who got mad at me confess that one day they tried to put evil spells/intent on me to make me die and they heard voices telling them, they could not allow him to do so because God has a special purpose for me, that they were protecting me, and canceling out his negative thoughts and intents. He was so surprised at that he felt compelled to tell me.

Not many people have these abilities as they grow older. Most children have these abilities though but because they are taught it\'s all make believe, the doors to these abilities close, usually never to return, because like a tender young plant, they weren\'t nurtured and encouraged to grow.
Some of the adults who do believe in things like what you experience may have been adults who didn\'t believe at one time and the only reason they do now is because of an experience. God and spirit things can not be explained, only experienced, and thats why so many believe that God, ghosts, the spiritual dimension, angels, etc do not exist. I can share more with you from personal experience but it may not address all specific questions you have. I do still suggest you seek someone who specializes in helping kids who have these gifts.
About the only church related group I\'ve heard of briefly that works somewhat in this area is connected to but not part of the Catholic church. Sorry but a friend mentioned it to me and I don\'t remember what it is called.

Can somebody please tell me what to do! I'm only 13yrs old and I'm having a lot of white hair! I know it's because I always keep my hair up when it's wet, but now, I don't know what to do to get it back. I don't want to dye my hair, because it'll kill the hair cells. Someone help please!

I knew two sisters growing up, one in high school and the other in college. Both had hair that went grey early, like by 22 the one who was my friend has totally grey hair, due to a hereditary trait.

So if it\'s all over, it\'s somewhere in the genes.
If its just one chunk of hair going totally white and the rest staying your natural color, its a little more rare but a common thing too and you may be the only one in your family with that. I had a coworker friend whose daughter had the chunk of white hair. Her friends were envious. If they wanted to color their hair green or red or blue, they had to totally strip their hair first of their natural color before recoloring which is a much harsher process on the hair. If you do get a chunk or all white hair, you\'ll be able to color your hair any color you want, a lot more easily than others.

Wearing hair up, no matter in what style, whether wet or dry does not change hair color. People with lighter hair spending lots of time in the sun with nicer weather here now, will find the sun can turn their hair a shade lighter but will never go totally white. Its the sun bleaching the hair. I\'m brunette and the only thing sun does, is bring out red or copper highlights more if it does anything at all. Some lighter brunettes who may have been blond as a baby can find the top layer of hair bleaching almost blonde in comparison but it will go back to brunette with the return of fall and winter and cloudy sunless skies.
I understand you are worried about coloring the hair, so either wear it white or try the natural foods stores who carry personal care products that are natural. Some carry hair coloring products that are gentle on the hair and on the environment.

Hey guys, I met one of my brothers friend today and I guess my brother game him my Facebook name and he added me. So after doing that's, we messaged each other's for a few minutes and he told me he likes me. I ask him why and he said he always wanted to tell me but he was shy. I'm very sure he's a player and planning to play me like he played one of my friend. I didn't rely back after he told me he liked him. I want to go straight and tell him that I'm not interested in him and I already knew what guys do to get girls and I know that he only wants to use me. I just don't know exactly what to say. What should I say to him

If there was no rumour of him being a player, then would you possibly be interested in him? I learned early not to listen to what other kids say. In most cases they exaggerated, totally lied, or misinterpreted what they heard and saw.

He\'s your brothers friend. He gave the guy your facebook address. If you may have a possible interest in him if he were a gentleman, then

ask brother what he thinks of the guy. How well does he know the guy? Ask him if he thinks you\'d be safe with the guy...if he\'s not the type to take advantage of a girl? If he\'s brothers friend, your brother should know him better than any one else.

Right now, all you\'re doing is talking, not dating. He said he liked you, he didn\'t ask you to go out. Until he does, you don\'t have to say anything.
You did choose to talk to him though, even tho you believed him to be a player. You only had a problem with chatting with him until after he mentioned liking you. Do you tend to get suckered in to talking to people on facebook that you don\'t like or know at all? I have had strangers send me form letters on Facebook, saying how pretty they think I am, and that they are widowers with kids and ask me to write them back. I send a message back that I don\'t know them, I am in a relationship and if they want to really find someone to date, they\'d do better on a dating site. I tell them not to write me back because if they do I will report them as spam mail. If someone contacts you that you do not wish to talk to, the only answer you need give rather than get into a conversation with them is to tell them that you are not interested in starting a friendship with them. And in his case, just state, he\'s your brothers friend and that\'s all you see him as, nothing more. It\'s easier if said at the beginning and gets harder to do the longer you wait and more time goes by. Its good that you did not reply back anything to his saying he likes you. He is attracted to you, but unless he\'s spent as much time with you as he does with your brother, he can\'t possibly know enough about you to determine if he likes who you are inside, your personality. So telling a girl he likes her if he really meant like, instead of attracted to, is jumping the gun, too soon to admit something on the first day of talking.
As you grow older, you\'ll find that a great majority of guys are fumble-tongued, not having any idea what to say, and if saying something, do so in a way as to be taken to mean something totally different, or its not possible to decipher what they meant. So he may be terrible at expressing himself. Its possible to just ignore his admission if you want to keep on talking, and see where it goes from there, it can\'t hurt. If he begins to talk in a way you are not comfortable with, just say so, I\'m not comfortable with talking about this cus we\'ve only just starting talking and really don\'t know each other enough to have the level of trust to discuss or reveal such things.

The reason I say im scared to tell him how i feel because I dont want to lose him as a friend. Is because im scared if I tell him and he doesn't feel the same way. That it will make it awkward and we will stop talking. Thats the thing. Im a negative person who wants to just do everything so I dont regret it later but I start over thinking everything and talk myself out of it. And I just dont know how to change that

If you like to over-think, all you have to do is imagine how you\'d feel if he told you he was engaged to another lady and you got invited to his wedding as a guest, not the bride. If you can be okay with that, then you don\'t have to say a thing to him about how you feel.

If the hurt of imagining him getting married to someone else someday is stronger than the slight possibility that he stops being your friend when telling him how you feel, then it\'s better that you say, \"John, the time we were apart gave me time to think about how much I really miss having you in my life. In fact, I think I may be falling for you.\" Thats information that just can\'t be ignored by a guy. If he has any feelings at all, or even if he hasn\'t stopped to think about how deeply he cares about you, he will take the time now to become introspective and really look at how much you mean to him. Its not easy thing to do, but if you know you\'d be still kicking yourself someday when you\'re 35, and he\'s married with kids, and you have never committed to any other guy cus you still pine for him, then its better to take the possible risk of losing him now compared to for sure losing him to another. You wont be saying \"I am in love with you\" as if you are already there at that realization, (even if its true) but saying you\'re in a process of getting there. This way, if he doesnt feel the same he can tell you for sure right away and continue on as friends. If this is the case, things may still change when he meets another woman. He\'ll spend more time with her, she becomes his best friend, bumping everyone else down a notch or two and she may have issues with him speaking to and being close friends with past women friends so he\'d be restricted in spending time with you. This is a whole lot of supposing, on what might happen. I do not foresee the future, and I doubt you have that ability either, or you wouldn\'t be over-thinking. You\'re in a spot where no matter if you take action or not, you still may not get the results you want because he has choice and freewill. Telling him, can\'t possibly make things any worse than all of the scenerios and final outcomes I mentioned as possibilities. If you want to look at it in a negative way, end result is possibility that you are doomed no matter if you speak up or not to end up hurt. However if you do speak up, and he feels the same, the odds are in your favor. Good luck dear.

Hi, I am 17 years old and I am the youngest person in ny university. I am absolutely in love with the SU president in my university. We talk sometimes and we have also kissed a couple of time on a college night out but it acts like he doesn't even notice me, he is always cold to me when people are around ue but once we are alone together he opens up to me and just be an absolute sweetheart. I do catch him staring at me sometimes and we also flirt alot when we are left alone. The problem is I don't know if he likes me, he is a completely shy guy but I just think he feels like I won't be able to fit into his life maybe because of my age or even my race.i don't know what to do anymore it's been 9 months and there have been no improvement at all.

Giddy and I can only guess at this guys character, and whether he even knows you\'re 17. You may feel older and more mature than many 18 yr olds or older. But the law is such that it doesn\'t make allowances for whether you\'re both in college together or not, someone older than you having any intimate sexual contact with you can be prosecuted for statutory rape. Depending on the state you live in, some states don\'t even allow an older person to even kiss someone younger than 18.

I have another idea. If he\'s so okay being with you alone but changes in the company of other college students, it\'s because he doesnt want them to see him having any interest in you, not even a friendship as classmates. There could be a couple different reasons, If he assumes you\'re 18 and hasn\'t asked you, then he may be embarrassed to be seen with someone so much younger than him, that\'s if he\'s an older classman. Someone who is more concerned about how it looks IF he assumed you were 18 or even if you really were and he knew...the same applies...he does not really care about you as a person and getting to know you. Young men who aren\'t attracted to you are not going to give you any time. The fact that he does give you enough of his time to talk and kiss means he is interested. But not interested enough to appear to want to get to know you for your personality. He just wants the sex. There is no other logical reason for him to be kissing you. Shy guys don\'t end up kissing girls so easily. And shy guys don\'t end up in such a prominent role like SU president of the Univ.
The staring at you he\'s do is cus he\'s horny, he wants to take care of that and he see\'s you as any easy conquest due to the fact that you have less experience with guys than the older girls do who\'ve already been burnt once or twice.
I won\'t tell you what to do...just explained what i see the situation to be.
You said: i don\'t know what to do anymore. That is a statement. I can understand not knowing what to do when faced with a situation like this for the first time dear. However I will refrain from giving my opinion as to what you might do because you did not actually say, \"What should I do about this?\"

18/f
I'm going to try and keep this simple because I know how boring it is reading through a long question.
I want to break up with my boyfriend. He's the sweetest most lovely guy, just I don't fancy him, he's already talking about marriage (we've been together 6 months) he's a bit immature-and I think I can do better.
Idk how to break up with him know because saying all this will break his heart and will come so unexpected. Also his parents love me which makes it harder.
I just want to have fun-you know?! Any advice would be appreciated :)

A “great person” (or really nice guy/girl) is not a “perfect person for you” unless they meet your needs and desires in a partner. You needn’t feel guilty about your lack of physical chemistry with a person. In fact, if you don\'t feel that spark and attraction in return, then you’re doing the nicest thing you can by letting them know you’re not attracted, as soon as you are aware of it yourself (even if it takes a 2nd or 3rd date before you were sure) In your case its a handful of months. Perhaps you knew already earlier but held off doing anything about it until he hinted at future marriage. At least you can\'t be accused of making a rash decision. And you can\'t be accused of leading a guy on when not interested. This now leaves him free to move on so he can find someone who does find him physically appealing and does have desire for him.

So an example sentence to break the news to them might be, \"Brian, I don\'t feel any spark or attraction to you. You are a really nice person. In fact I wish I did because any girl would be lucky to have you as her boyfriend but sadly, I don\'t feel a spark with you. It isn\'t fair to you or to me to be with someone that we don\'t feel that level of attraction to.

This builds up their esteem in themselves as far as being good dating material while letting them down at the same time. He may be hurt initially but you have no control over how people process through this.

It\'s going to be hard to do with the fact that you have a good relationship with the parents. Keep that in mind when you get older and ready to marry...good parent-in-law relationships are important. If you feel close enough to want to say something to the parents, thats up to you, perhaps in a card you send them or a phone call, just so they know it wasn\'t anything they did or said to you. This is just optional depending on how close you all really were. Most people would not take this step, just saying cus of what you mentioned about the parents.

i want to ask i did sex with my g.f on 5th of this month i just rubbed outside just near pussy but my penis touches her pussy 2-3 times while doing am scared whether she will gt peragnent...only 5-6 days over now what shud i do to her so that she wont get peragenent..any medicine is their if its their please suggest me...

There is something called the morning after pill, emergency contraception which can still be taken before and up to 120 hrs/5 days after unprotected sex but catching it at the end is not as guaranteed to be successful. Since your already at the time limit, you\'ll just have to pray she was not ovulating at the time and no spermies made the way successfully to an egg to unite. If she were pregnant, it will still take a couple weeks before a pregnancy test will be accurate.

For the future, you\'ve been told what to do, use condoms AND have her get on birth control. If she won\'t go to parents, she can always go to planned parenthood for contraception and will likely be put on the pill, but she must follow the directions of taking it exactly as prescribing, no skipping or doubling up on it. If not taken properly, she can still get pregnant. Planned parenthood provides condoms too. They have classes geared towards teens to help educate them on some important basics about being safe from STD\'s and preventing pregnancy and the classes are not just for girls but their boyfriends as well. The best thing you can do is reach out to those offering some guidelines and help in that area and also do so research on your own to learn more about the physiology of your and her anatomy and how it really works. Check the library for books or check on line. Porn magazines or sites are not a place for teens to learn sex ed. And few schools have any good sex ed classes anymore if any. So do yourself and her a favor and both of you ask Planned parenthood what sites to go to for good sex education. Its up to you to train yourself and become knowledgeable.

Hi. Youve answered a ton of questions from me and I love your advice. There is a guy I went to highschool with ive always had a crush on him. We use to hangout at school and sometimes out of school id go to his house and just talk and hangout. We were just good friends. Well he moved out of state and came back and now im moving out of town so we were going to try and hangout. Well the thing is I never told him how I feel cause I thought we were such good friends I didnt want to lose that. Like id rather keep him as a friend than lose him out of my life. Well the thing is the other day I went to this thing in town hoping to see him well we ended up leaving way early and he happened to be driving by. He yelled out the window I didnt see him. Then he went around the block to make sure it was me and then pulled up beside me beside me. And got out to talk to me and everything. It all hit me. I got lost in his eyes. The way he looked at me before he left like I felt like his eyes were speaking to my soul. The way they looked into my eyes. I dont know it sounds dumb. Its weird I never felt that. I couldn't get his eyes out of my head for days. And he doesn't open or reply to my messages on facebook right away idk if thats how he does with everyone or just me cause he does message me back a lot of times or just messages me to say hi. But not as often as I like. Today he drove past me in a parking lot but I was in a car. He didnt see me. But the whole point of this is. Whats the difference when seeing someone you like if you feel butterflies. Or you feel like an 18wheeler just hit you in the stomach and you cant breathe? Cause when I saw him that day he pulled over and today I felt like an 18wheeler crashed into my stomach and I couldn't breathe for a minute. I dont understand this..
sorry this is so long and not good grammar or punctuation or anything. I would just love to get your advice. Thankyou bunches in advance

Simple fact is that if you\'re experiencing feelings like that, your subconscious mind has finally admitted you are in love. Your conscious mind is just beginning to become aware of the feelings.

When he moved away, you got a chance to see what it felt like to not have him nearby in your life. I really don\'t get why so many people are afraid of losing a great friendship by becoming romantic/becoming a couple. Why I don\'t get it is because all healthy long term relationships have two things in common, one being that they are best of friends. If you have a good friendship and your love instead of hitting hard and exploding like fireworks in the beginning, just slowly grew over time so that you weren\'t totally aware of it . . . it doesn\'t matter, the end result is the same, being in love. He is still seeking you out so he still cares on some level. If he\'s hiding feelings of love for the same reason as you, it would be tragic if you two never got together.

Guys as they are growing up and learning about relationships may think they are attracted to a certain type of person and keep making the same mistake and going for the same type. It doesnt matter as much how a woman looks than having self confidence. Male dating coaches have said a confident woman is more attractive in an average woman than a raving model type beauty with no confidence and no personality. We all tend to do the comparing thing in our minds. The thing is to not let that hold us back. At 50 when I heard from the guy whos now my 2nd husband, from what I heard, I thought he was way more intelligent than me from the way he talked. I thought he\'d be bored with me soon cus I had no where near as much schooling as he. LOL. But despite those thoughts, after a week of phone calls we met and hit it off, the following week, he told each other how we felt about each other. Its a bit different when adult and having lived lots of life...knowing what you want, and how to look past any BS in people you meet to see who they are at core. With your friendship, you already know who he is as a person.
I did say there was a second part to healthy relationships where both must feel the same.
That would be the romance and sexuality department. Even if you\'re not ready to launch straight into sex, you may want to see how both of you feel kissing each other. Either it feels as blah as kissing your brother on the cheek or it feels like the semi truck thing or like heart doing somersaults before becoming light and floating away.

So how to admit how you feel, again something I\'ve seen told by relationship experts, is to share the info as if it is just a process that is starting, that you are not fully there, totally in love, this gives the other person wiggle room to pull away if they don\'t feel the same.
So you say, \"I have something to confess, I feel like I am beginning to fall for you, or fall in love with you or I am beginning to feel way stronger feelings for you than just friendship.
You have to say something because what if he\'s chicken too and decides to never say anything. Just because he hasnt said anything doesnt mean he doesnt feel the same. More often in the beginning until we are really comfortable after having made some confessions and gotten past the \'I love you\' hurdle, its always going to feel awkward, 2nd guessing yourself, tension building as you torture yourself with thoughts of \"but what if?\" None of that is going to help resolve and bring the situation to a clear ending.

When a guy is ready to be serious about one girl long term in his life, often he does not choose the type he\'s hung out in the past because when he imagines being with them, maybe living with them, or married to them, he just knows he couldn\'t stand it, that those girls aren\'t the type that make for a good serious long term relationship. Good luck dear. Let me know how it turns out. :)

Hi, this is the same person who asked the question about depersonalization.

So, I just need some advice here. Should I start getting anxiety pills? I hate having to deal with it each and every day. The thing is, is that I'm scared of feeling like a zombie, or feeling different. I also don't want to be medicated all the time, but I HATE feeling this way. But I'm pretty sure I have depersonalization. I feel "detached". Will anxiety pills help me with this too?

Also, I know for a fact that I have Anxiety and Depression because I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago. I also get it from my father. I just really need some advice here asap. Thank you

Hon, I am not a licensed doctor. I can only tell you that you\'re not happy currently, so medication is worth a try if the Doctor you see says you need it. For all we know, you may simply need some counseling and re training in how to think through issues. If you started feeling like this at the point you started going through puberty, then you may want to have a Doctor check your hormone levels to see if they are too high or too low. I have read reports of teens whose who emotional behavior changed totally when hormone levels were way off. If you can prescribed some medication...take them and see if it helps, if it doesn\'t, then have the Dr try you on another. We are all unique in what cures work better for one over another even when it comes down to herbal medicine. If you just don\'t feel right, say something about it until you are getting the proper help.

I'm 14 and he is 13, I'm in the 9th grade he's in the 8th. Basically we've both being talking since December 2013 and now we don't talk as much unless there's something to talk about, I will admit that I still like him.. A lot. We've been out twice and the first time I left him because he was ignoring me whereas the second time he dumped me because he wasn't ready for a relationship.

So, I see him every weekday at school and I see him literally everywhere I go! I catch him staring at me whenever I'm near him and so do my friends, when he sees that I'm looking he quickly turns away and my friends say this is a sign that he likes me. I was meeting his cousin at the weekend (just as friends) and then he asked his cousin to come along and he literally wouldn't stop looking at me!

Does he still like me?
Also I really like him still and I would really like to get back into a relationship with him!
Any ideas on what I could do!?

Thank you! X

If he\'s still looking, almost guaranteed he\'s still interested to some degree.
At your ages, neither of you will have acquired enough dating and relationship skills to feel confident to attempt dating without having anxieties or doubts and 2nd guessing as to what certain actions and words mean.
Girls have their share of anxieties but seem to be naturally ahead of guys when it comes to some basics at relationship skills, at least with girlfriends but lots of the same can apply as when having conversation with the opposite sex.

I am guessing that when you left the first time it really bothered him. It probably took all his guts to just ask you out, or if you asked, to go out with you. But he was so scared to interact with you that he froze up and did nothing.

If he said the 2nd time that he was dumping you cus he wasn\'t ready for a relationship, perhaps he really decided he doesnt want to date yet. But if he\'s still staring at you like he does,S he said that only to convince himself, thinking that if he was too scared to talk with you whenS the two of you are off by yourselves, that it means he\'s not ready. I think he\'s just very scared.

As a girl, since you are good with talking to girlfriends and other people, if you want to pursue a friendship with him like gf bf, then its up to you to gently show him how.
If he was talking fine in the beginning but not now, hey thats happened to me as an adult too. Before I met my 2nd husband I was dating and in the beginning, it was easy to talk to share our stories, what our jobs are, how many kids we had, our beliefs, any dreams or goals, just the kind of stuff to get us to know lots about each other in a short time. Once we both finished telling our stories about ourselves, we could find nothing to talk about, because we didn\'t have enough in common to talk about. Tho this could be a reason that all of a sudden he finds it hard to talk to you, i believe its more likely that he has no idea how to proceed from this point on.
If you decide to go talk to him, make him feel comfortable with how awkward he feels. You can do this by telling him that you don\'t know much about dating yet and apologize for leaving that one time and ask if he\'s willing to start over again starting just as friends for now and you can date later when you\'re both older and ready. This psychologically takes the pressure off of having to behave a certain way and know things to be able to date. Just start out with talking about things you have in common like you do with girlfriends. Eventually he should slowly warm up. In the beginning there won\'t be enough trust for him to really tell you what fears or inadequacies he feels he has. After some time, when he feels he can trust you, and you ask what is bothering him, or why he\'s so quiet that day, he may

13/F

So I have a few questions, and I just need help ASAP. Okay so since about June 2012, I've felt weird. I think it may be Depersonalization, but I just can't deal with it in my everyday life anymore. I was hoping it would go away by now, but it hasn't. It kind of stops if I get my mind off it, but of course it will come back. Anyways, I saw a post someone made and it said something about being in a coma or whatever. Now I'm really scared because what if I am in a coma? I don't know anymore. I just want to stop this feeling. I get anxiety from my dad. I was thinking about getting pills for my anxiety in July of 2012, but my mom doesn't want me medicated all the time and I don't want to be either. But should I? Sometimes my anxiety helps by like stopping me from saying certain things. And will it help this feeling go away? I just now feel like I'm in a coma because of that post and I feel sad...

Here's a reason why I'm scared of taking pills: For some reason, I feel like I'll be weird the first time i'll take them. Like I'll be all dizzy because I'll be feeling different. I just need help. Please help asap.

I can assure you that you are not in a coma, because if you were, you would not be able to type this question in to us.

I know that there are people on meds for mental health issues, like a daughter of mine on depression meds. There is an adjustment period for some, getting used to a prescription, but it need not affect everyone.
If it stops as you say when you take your mind of it...then you need to do more of the same. Negative thinking could be causing the issues to continue to come back. Heres a link to a book I read recommended by a friend who had great results and had me read it to see if I thought it could help the daughter.
http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

If you want to try a drug free path first, then I advise you try this book first. But you have to be serious about reading it and going over chapters again a couple times to make sure you are getting what its saying and doing the exercises for you to follow in the book. If once you\'ve completed it, you are still having issues with how your mind works and perceives things, show mom the book and tell her you\'ve tried everything in there and it isn\'t helping and you want to go a doctor. I can\'t say what is going on for you. I am not a professional. But I do understand not wanting to take a path of medication without trying something else first. I am a proponant for seeking a natural cure first before seeing a specialist unless it\'s something like an emergency that needs special care like a heart pain or a broken bone.

Good luck dear.

ok so basically be and this guy named bob (not is real name) I knew from school have been talking on facebook like friends and I didn't think much of it and then my friends told me someone liked me but they said they wouldn't tell me so I secretly went on m y friends facebook to see any messages between her and any guys I knew and bob was talking about this girl it didn't say a name so I didn't wanna assume anything but I was still thinking about it and today at lunch my friends kept asking if I liked anyone and I said no one and they said I should like someone and I said well how am I supposed to know if you guys wont tell me and then my friend Sally (not her really name) really stupidly said its someone who talks to you everyday and that gave it away that it was bob and a couple of months ago he asked out a girl at a dance and brought her flowers and stuff and she danced with him but ended up turning him down and he was so sad and now im pretty sure hes gunna ask me out but I don't wanna hurt him cause hes like my closest guy friend and I don't want our friendship to end but I don't like him in that way Dx

so please can you give me tips on how to tell him I don't like him and please don't tell me to just tell him straight out because im that good with words and it just wont work

im 13 female

Straight out really is the best way, no guesswork or misunderstandings. Right now, there is no guarantee that he will ask you out so this is jumping the gun. You know he is interested, but at 13 or so, he is as inexperiencing in dating and relationships as you and your friends. He\'s probably waiting for a friend of his who hears from a friend of yours that you \'like\' him before he will make a move. If you say no such thing, I doubt he\'ll ask you.
But if he somehow gets up the guts to ask you, and you don\'t want to tell him you are not interested in him in that way, just realize no matter what you say or do, even if you say nothing, it will still hurt his feelings. The dating realm is a place of disappoints and heartbreaks on one end and on the total other end, one of delight and first love. You can\'t not totally avoid having it happen to you or to anyone else. If you do not wish to say anything at all to him on the subject or answering an invite, then when he asks, change the subject to talk about what you want, pretending you didn\'t hear. At some point it will become obvious that there\'s nothing wrong with your hearing and you are just evading answering his question.

If you feel you can talk to him, which I feel a person owes someone they call a friend, then you say Bob,I don\'t know if you\'re asking me out as a friend or because you want to date me like a girlfriend, so I need to know before I answer, because I don\'t want you to think that because I accept an invite to go bike riding that it means we\'re dating like a couple. I just don\'t feel that way about you.
Hope this helps.

21/f, 27/m

Hello,

I am currently talking to this guy. We actually just met online. I was interested in him and we went on a date and I thought it went alright. We recently went out again the second time and he kissed me. I have been getting mixed signals from him and I'm not sure what to think. These are what I have observed so far and reasons why I get mixed signals:

1. He sometimes talks about seeing meeting my family or coming to my house and having my mom make him this particular food he likes.

2. He holds my hand when walking in the street, driving in the car, etc. He also kisses me on the cheek, tells me I'm pretty and I have a cute personality.

3. He sometimes makes dirty jokes. Most of it relating to coming over to his house late at night and "doing stuff". He has been making those type of jokes since we first chatted online.

4. When he kisses me, he seems to be a bit aggressive and wouldn't let me pull back. The last time I saw him, he asked if I wanted to come in and "meet the dogs", yes he does have pets, but I'm sure he wanted to proceed further, I said no.

5. He listens to me when I talk, he's spoken to me about his issues before, his past, etc. Him in general doesn't come off as someone who would try to "get laid". He comes off as a gentleman when I talk to him.

6. He doesn't talk to me only on the weekdays, he speaks to me everyday.

7. I caught him getting online to meet girls, my guess is that he is trying to keep his options open but then it makes me wonder if I'm just someone he's planning to 'score' with and go back into the 'dating game'

He recently invited me to go to the symphony with him and I accepted. My manager was thinking that I have the ball in my court and that I should wait it out and see if he's looking for an actual relationship or that he's testing to see how far I would go.

I asked him if he was expecting anything from me (hoping he'd be completely honest), he said, "no. why would I expect anything from you? We just met." But he also told me that he's "open to anything." Even though the first day we met, he told me he was looking for someone be in a relationship.

What are you thoughts? What should I do?

You\'ve already gotten good advice. Wait it out and see if he\'s looking for an actual relationship or whether he\'s testing to see how far he can go with you. So far, other than dirty jokes, I don\'t see anything to worry about. It takes time to build trust in a partner, it can\'t happen overnight.

A guy who wants to take advantage of you is not going to hint at meeting your family or coming to your house and having mom make him this particular food he likes. So test him on it soon. Just tell the parents that you met a guy and would like to invite him for dinner to get their opinion of him.

There\'s also the consideration that since he is late 20\'s, he may be more sure of what his life goals are, what he wants out of life and a long term partner, and be serious about going after it.

You\'ve only had two or so dates and are not at a point to make a commitment to date each other only yet. If he met you online...I dont know what venue, perhaps he has a dating site profile and thats how he meets girls, thats perfectly normal, not everyone dates several at once. After myI caught him getting online to meet girls divorce, I did not turn down any seriously good sounding prospects just because I had gone on dates with someone else several times. I had a boyfriend of 4 months steady when the guy who became my 2nd husband wrote me on the dating site. Interestingly enough, the 4 mo boyfriend had the same attitude about dating so when an old girlfriend called wanting to come back into his life for good, we parted ways. Your guy may be at this stage, no commitment yet to anyone but letting you know he\'s serious about wanting to be in a relationship.
If you can decide to give him some serious consideration, getting used to and comfortable with each other, perhaps you will find out enough to know if you\'d make just a temporary dating pair or if he is potential long term partner( as in marriage) material.

You\'ll both want to share your hopes and dreams, goals in life, beliefs, etc...to see if they come close othir match. Can you become each others best friend? Thats one important thing for a healthy relationship. Ask yourself what you are looking for in a guy. Are you just beginning to wade in to the dating arena, not ready to get serious with any guy nor sexual with anyone. If you haven\'t yet sex yet with a partner, you\'re certainly old enough but you need to want to because you have feelings for the guy of love and desire. If not, it may be too soon or you\'re not a good sexual match and this is just as important for a healthy relationship.
And this brings me to his topics of sex and dirty jokes he brings up. He may have had enough sexual experience in his past to know what he likes and wants in his sex life. This may just be his way of gauging your reactions and seeing what you think if the topics. After you\'ve been dating a while, you may want to face the topic head on. If you are timid or inexperienced and unsure of yourself, and have no clue yet what you like and don\'t like sexually, it might be a good idea to let him know at some point. Ask him what his dream partner would be like. If he doesn\'t describe sexual aspects, then ask him specifically what his dream sex partner would be like. Ask questions about anything you havent experienced, how important something is to him. At your age, he must expect that you will have less experience than him. He may not want to scare you away by bringing up the topic which is important to him and in any relationship between a couple. So it may eventually be up to you to bring it up when you get deeply enough interested that you know you don\'t want to lose him. Kissing is fine early on. Someone who looks attractive can feel wonderful kissing, or it can feel like kissing a kid sister or brother...no romantic feelings or desires ignited. Or one may feel it, the other may not. You don\'t want to waste time with someone where there is no romantic spark.
Take it slow, sounds like he\'s willing to go at your pace, has no expectations, just dating you for now to see where it leads.

I know, I know. It's cliché to ask but how do I stay fresh "down there"? I am a 26 year old female, skinny, great hygiene and attractive but I have had problems for years on how to stay smelling good. Its not just my private parts, its also my armpits and the entire rest of my body... except my feet and breath. I just don't have a very good natural scent. :'(

I take a shower in the morning and night, I wash and wash with soaps, body wash, body scrubs and vaginal soaps, I use deodorant (currently using secret brand with a scent to it but I have also used scentless, different brands and the liquid/gel kind), I have used all over deodorant spray with heavy scents and of course I lather myself up with lotion and body spray or perfume. None of this seems to last long. Even my very expensive and strong perfumes like Jadore and Euphoria don't last very long. I know I'm supposed to get used to the smell after so long but I can still smell myself just fine for hours and hours, all day and its not good.

If I keep my legs closed while sitting I sweat almost immediately and it reacts with either my panties, jeans, leggings and if I'm on my period then its WAY worse and it stinks again. I can not wear any shirt without it smelling bad regardless of what kind of deodorant I'm using. I even have a prescription for an all over deodorant that stops sweating, and it works for sure but if I wear a tshirt or anything that's up against the armpit, it doesn't matter, it will start to stink. I feel like I have to keep my legs closed tight and my arms against my sides 24/7 so that no one will notice. I even bring wipes with my when I use the bathroom so as not to add any stink. but I can't always do that.

My bf doesn't seem to notice much but I DO go out of my way to try to make sure he doesn't. It sucks having to have an excuse to take a shower or use the bathroom anytime before having sex. I feel like I cant just have random, spontaneous or in the moment sex. Other people like family and close friends have made comments before but not often and not in a rude way but still... and like I said before, I go out of my way to hide this... HOW IS IT SOME PEOPLE CAN WALK BY AND YOU CAN SMELL HOW GOOD THEY SMELL??? Do they spray too much or overuse their lotion? Isn't that supposed to make you just as stinky, but in a different way?

It's terribly embarrassing and I am about to move in with my boyfriend so it will be a million times harder to hide this. Ive been with him for a long time btw. I did just have a baby 3 months ago... and this is my 2nd baby, my other is 8 years old. I also just got a Mirena IUD... could any of this be the reason and why? How long will that last or what can I do?

SO MY QUESTIONS ARE (and please answer any that you can)...
what can I do?
How can I change my natural scent?
How can I make perfumes or lotions last longer on my body?
How can stay fresh down there?
Which deodorants have worked wonders for you?
Are there any medications in pill form or any other form that can help me?
PLEASE HELP!!!! 5. If you know of ANYTHING, please help me! :( I'm really self conscious and my self esteem really drops because of this. :(

How can I change my natural scent?

Some things can be changed by diet like the taste of your or his fluids or the smell of a personals natural body odor and sweat. Here\'s links to articles on it to understand how it works.

http://www.naturalnews.com/004417_body_odor_nutrition.html

http://health.howstuffworks.com/skin-care/information/nutrition/diet-body-odor.htm

Now based on what you just read, you can see that use of regular antiperspirants -deodorants is part of the problem, but diet is biggest. There is a natural product you can use that does not stop the perspiring part that is essential for your body to be healthy. Getting wet is something you\'ll have to put up with but it doesnt have to be offensive. I have found the \'Crystal\" product to work well for hubby and I. I have found it in regular supermarkets and pharmacies and it can be gotten on line if your local stores don\'t carry it.

http://www.thecrystal.com/crystal_body_deodorant.cfm

You did say the boyfriend doesn\'t notice much. It could be that your bodies natural odor, is much the same like his. There\'s pheremones and other things that make a person either attractive or repulsive to us, no matter how beautiful or handsome they appear. When my husband sweats, the smell is not foul to me. But I\'ve been seated next to people whose scent was so pungent it that it stung the nose and gave me trouble breathing. If you find the smell of the boyfriends breath, taste of saliva, armpit scent, crotch musk smell that all tolerable or actually somewhat nice, then you both are likely very similar.

Next question--How can I make perfumes or lotions last longer on my body?

When you seem to think the scent of your perfumes or lotions is wearing off later in the day, it isn\'t. What is actually happening is that your nose becomes so used to the scent it can no longer detect it. I looked up the explanation online. The olfactory bulb enhances discrimination between odors.
enhancing sensitivity of odor detection.
filtering out many background odors to enhance the transmission of a few select odors.
permitting higher brain areas involved in arousal and attention to modify the detection or the discrimination of odors.
So in essense, because the scent was applied to your body and is constantly with you, the glands in your nose begin to think of this as a general background odor so you can no longer smell it, and that makes you able to detect any new scents you come across. Try an experiment. If you have 2 or 3 different scents you wear. Apply it in the morning and at the point you can no longer detect it, ask the boyfriend or even a female friend to take a sniff and tell you if they can detect you wearing any perfume or not. Trust me, they\'ll smell it, not weakly but strong enough to be pleasant. My ex wore cologne often. He\'d apply before going to work. He came home thinking it had worn off but it was now at a pleasant, not overpowering level of strength.

How can stay fresh down there?

First of all, stop using douches and sprays and things that are meant to clean or deodorize your private parts. They do more harm than help. In fact, they are a leading cause for re occuring bacterial vaginitis. You may have a case of this, if you detect a really rotten like dead fish odor from your private area all the time. It may be good to see a Dr. and get checked out if this is the case. Anti biotics will get rid of. But cleansing practices can bring it back. Your vaginal area is a very balanced ecosystem with its own way of cleansing itself, that clear to yellow discharge between periods that ends up on your panties is your body naturally cleansing itself. The good bacteria in there keeps things in balance but these washing products or bar soap or bubble bath, can upset the balance and wash away the good bacteria. Once gone the bad bacteria runs rampant, and out of control, it smells really bad.
What I do is clean my self once in a while in the shower using nothing but my fingers which I have cleansed thoroughly and have no soap on them. I lift one leg, swish my fingers around and if there is any residue, rinse the fingers and repeat until there is nothing and no smell.

Other than the vaginitis I had when I was younger and didnt know about this, I have not had any more problems the rest of my life and I am in my 50\'s now. Your may use a mild soap to cleanse your labia or the leg area near there but don\'t part the lips or get soap near the vaginal entrance.

So as for deodorants, use none vaginally and only a product like Crystal under the arms.

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