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the different feelings you get when you like someone
Hi. Youve answered a ton of questions from me and I love your advice. There is a guy I went to highschool with ive always had a crush on him. We use to hangout at school and sometimes out of school id go to his house and just talk and hangout. We were just good friends. Well he moved out of state and came back and now im moving out of town so we were going to try and hangout. Well the thing is I never told him how I feel cause I thought we were such good friends I didnt want to lose that. Like id rather keep him as a friend than lose him out of my life. Well the thing is the other day I went to this thing in town hoping to see him well we ended up leaving way early and he happened to be driving by. He yelled out the window I didnt see him. Then he went around the block to make sure it was me and then pulled up beside me beside me. And got out to talk to me and everything. It all hit me. I got lost in his eyes. The way he looked at me before he left like I felt like his eyes were speaking to my soul. The way they looked into my eyes. I dont know it sounds dumb. Its weird I never felt that. I couldn't get his eyes out of my head for days. And he doesn't open or reply to my messages on facebook right away idk if thats how he does with everyone or just me cause he does message me back a lot of times or just messages me to say hi. But not as often as I like. Today he drove past me in a parking lot but I was in a car. He didnt see me. But the whole point of this is. Whats the difference when seeing someone you like if you feel butterflies. Or you feel like an 18wheeler just hit you in the stomach and you cant breathe? Cause when I saw him that day he pulled over and today I felt like an 18wheeler crashed into my stomach and I couldn't breathe for a minute. I dont understand this..
sorry this is so long and not good grammar or punctuation or anything. I would just love to get your advice. Thankyou bunches in advance
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Simple fact is that if you're experiencing feelings like that, your subconscious mind has finally admitted you are in love. Your conscious mind is just beginning to become aware of the feelings.
When he moved away, you got a chance to see what it felt like to not have him nearby in your life. I really don't get why so many people are afraid of losing a great friendship by becoming romantic/becoming a couple. Why I don't get it is because all healthy long term relationships have two things in common, one being that they are best of friends. If you have a good friendship and your love instead of hitting hard and exploding like fireworks in the beginning, just slowly grew over time so that you weren't totally aware of it . . . it doesn't matter, the end result is the same, being in love. He is still seeking you out so he still cares on some level. If he's hiding feelings of love for the same reason as you, it would be tragic if you two never got together.
Guys as they are growing up and learning about relationships may think they are attracted to a certain type of person and keep making the same mistake and going for the same type. It doesnt matter as much how a woman looks than having self confidence. Male dating coaches have said a confident woman is more attractive in an average woman than a raving model type beauty with no confidence and no personality. We all tend to do the comparing thing in our minds. The thing is to not let that hold us back. At 50 when I heard from the guy whos now my 2nd husband, from what I heard, I thought he was way more intelligent than me from the way he talked. I thought he'd be bored with me soon cus I had no where near as much schooling as he. LOL. But despite those thoughts, after a week of phone calls we met and hit it off, the following week, he told each other how we felt about each other. Its a bit different when adult and having lived lots of life...knowing what you want, and how to look past any BS in people you meet to see who they are at core. With your friendship, you already know who he is as a person.
I did say there was a second part to healthy relationships where both must feel the same.
That would be the romance and sexuality department. Even if you're not ready to launch straight into sex, you may want to see how both of you feel kissing each other. Either it feels as blah as kissing your brother on the cheek or it feels like the semi truck thing or like heart doing somersaults before becoming light and floating away.
So how to admit how you feel, again something I've seen told by relationship experts, is to share the info as if it is just a process that is starting, that you are not fully there, totally in love, this gives the other person wiggle room to pull away if they don't feel the same.
So you say, "I have something to confess, I feel like I am beginning to fall for you, or fall in love with you or I am beginning to feel way stronger feelings for you than just friendship.
You have to say something because what if he's chicken too and decides to never say anything. Just because he hasnt said anything doesnt mean he doesnt feel the same. More often in the beginning until we are really comfortable after having made some confessions and gotten past the 'I love you' hurdle, its always going to feel awkward, 2nd guessing yourself, tension building as you torture yourself with thoughts of "but what if?" None of that is going to help resolve and bring the situation to a clear ending.
When a guy is ready to be serious about one girl long term in his life, often he does not choose the type he's hung out in the past because when he imagines being with them, maybe living with them, or married to them, he just knows he couldn't stand it, that those girls aren't the type that make for a good serious long term relationship. Good luck dear. Let me know how it turns out. :)
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