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this may be a little long, a little more detail of the semitruck guy
Hey! I'm sorry this is the last thing. I got my computer so I can actually tell you a little more details that would help a little more and help me make things a little simpler. This guy "John". We were friends in highschool, we would hangout in class and during lunch. He always had his own friends though so we were either with our own friends or with eachother. we would walk to the store singing together different songs all the time, my friend would look at us real weird and tell us how strange we were but we didn't care we would just keep singing. A couple times after school ended I would go to his house and we would just hangout and talk and what not. and i always had a little crush on him. It was a school crush i thought. we were just good friends. Then he moved out of state, and we would message eachother every now and then, it wasnt anything major cause we were both in relationships when we were in school together and i continued to have relationships after. i even got married and then seperated from him. im 21 by the way it was a short relationship and we rushed into things way to soon. well anyways. i know one night a guy was trying to hook up with me he didnt want to talk about my feelings or anything he just wanted to hook up. and so i got upset i was really drunk and crying sitting in my car. i messaged him on facebook and begged him to call me and he did it was like 3am and we talked. well he talked i sobbed like a maniac complaining to him why guys just like me cause they want to sleep with me and i wish more guys were like him cause he was so sweet and nice, and that i love him and hes my best guy friend in the world and what not. the whole emotionally drunk shabang. well he was just so soothing and calm the entire time telling me once i realize fairytales arent real then ill be more accepting of things and it wont be so hard on me and how hes not perfect either. in case you ask, he did say that he loved me too and i was a really good friend. but ive realized he says he loves all his friends, so im not taking it any which way. anyways after that night we still talked here and there like usual, then he came back into town and he asked if i wanted to hangout before i leave. i said yes, well we had said we were probably going to go to this town thing the next night and wed maybe run into eachother he asked me for my number so we can contact eachother, i didnt think to ask for his and he never gave it to me. we used to text eachother but he got rid of his phone and got a new one and yadadadada. well when he passed by me and went around the corner to see if it was me he saw it was and pulled over (my first question) he got out we talked and thats when his eyes did that thing and i have no idea how to explain it, and my sister said wow you need to say something he just went out of his way to get over here when he didnt even know for sure if it was you, he has to have some kind of feelings. to a point i believe what she said but then i dont because people pull over for there friends all the time to say hi. well i got so happy when i realized it was him, then so sad when we parted, well since that night he hasnt messaged me back on facebook or even opened my message. and this is when i overthink, i know when i dont want to talk to someone i dont open the message so they think i never saw it, well he had been active on and off for the last few days, and no reply no opened message, but the last couple days it just says mobile. and i understand its mothers day and everything hes probably busy, but i just dont know what to do or say to get his attention, cause i dont have his phone number or know where hes staying.and im leaving on wednesday. i just want to see him but im worried that the last time we saw eachother since itd been so long since we saw eachother maybe he just decided he doesnt want to talk to me or anything anymore cause its been over a week now. and nothing. and thats where i am now. and im so confused and lost and i cant stop thinking about him or how awesome it would be if i ran into him or something. and thats why im so lost on what i should say or do, and im so sorry this is so long. but maybe this can give you a better idea? and happy mothers day by the way if you have a child :)
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The piece of info that stuck out for me this time is your phone call to him when upset. He was willing to drop whatever he was doing and be there for you to comfort you.
I'm a female who has had 'male' friends. My opinion is that a male who is friends with a girl but doesnt have deep feelings for her is not going to consistantly be able to do well cheering her up or consoling her. There is a difference in my mind between best friends of mine and my 2nd husband I am with now. If I have a bad day or am upset over something, it's not just because he knows me well enough to know the right words to say. (any close friend can do that) My husband also has a deeper love for me than any other friend, his heart becomes involved when he see's tears or see's me upset or even like when I am ill, it actually breaks his heart, makes it ache to see me in such a place.
The words your guy spoke next are important,
telling me once i realize fairytales arent real then ill be more accepting of things and it wont be so hard on me and how hes not perfect either.
It's one thing for him to say that perhaps you have a dream perception of how a relationship with a guy should be, perhaps he sees you as acting like a perfectionist. A person like ty
hat will never be happy with anything or anyone, always finding fault, reason or excuses that someone or something won't be good enough for you.
If he was sharing that as a caring friend, to help you along on your future path, thats fine but he took time to add that he wasn't perfect either.
That makes me wonder if he thinks you are looking for something that you'll never find because its already in front of you. He knows he's human and makes mistakes too and may be afraid that your standards are too high to ever consider dating him. From your history, you both have dated others but never each other. Why? Does he think you would never consider him because of his age too? Once we are adults, the age doesnt really matter. (My husband is a full year younger than me) I don't know what vibes you're giving off if you really have wanted to date him cus he's not picking up on it if so.
The kind of person you are describing him to be is long term relationship material if the romance/sexual part works out for you. Is that why one or both of you are holding back on dating each other?
Here's a little something I will share that I have learned in my life: A person needs to make themselves vulnerable before they can be approachable to be loved and to be able to give love. Otherwise you hold an internal barrier in place inside you to protect yourself from being disappointed or to protect ones heart from being hurt or broken. In trying to protect ourself, we actually cut ourselves off from having any of relationship, never allowing ourselves to get close enough to anyone because we have standards of perfection or because we fear being hurt.
You are indeed at a crossroads of learning how to get past what holds you back. I know you're young, so if you fail this time, this lesson will repeat throughout your life until you learn it. We're not talking marriage yet. Many who date do so because they have feelings of love but after a few years realize they are not the best for each other. Funny thing is, you two haven't fully given it a try. So you can't really know that you won't work out as a romantic couple.
So he has a new phone number which you don't have? You must know some family member of his after all these years, who does have the number. Get it from them and call him. But before you call him, decide for what reason you are calling dear.
1. You are calling to release him from feeling he has to keep himself available for you. You tell him you'll never love him like a romantic girlfriend thing so you are releasing him to go find that special woman for himself where he can give all this special attention that he gives you, to his lady friend and eventually future wife.
Can't see yourself telling him that? Its no fair to try to keep him to yourself, emotionally available for you but not taking the step to profess love. In this case, since I can see you're clearly bit by the love bug, your only other choice is:
2. Tell him that you can't stop thinking about him. That your heart can't stop missing him and feeling love and desire for him. You know that he's not perfect and you're not either but you can't think of anyone you'd rather spend time with encouraging each on along on the path to growing personally tho accepting each other where ever you're at, faults and all, and enjoying life together.
Coming to a place of confession like this, if he feels the same means discussing future for you both, such as where you two live, jobs and how it either keeps you close enough to date or not. If two people are crazy about each other, they will make changes to be close to each other. Yes jobs are important but so is the daily closeness of someone you love.
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