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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Hi everyone! I'm 12 years old (female) and I started junior high awhile ago.
Today, i've had trouble with this girl and she seems really mad at me. Anyways, I tried saying sorry to her of what I did but it just didn't come up. She's in the same grade as me. I would tell someone she's picking on me, but I CAN'T and I WON'T. I know it would be better for me, but I can't. I can't and I won't.
So I was thinking these options but I don't know which one to choose and I was hoping you can help me choose the right decision for me and tell me what's wrong with the other option:
1.) Home Schooling - I've had home schooling in mind since 4th grade. I was going to talk to my mom about getting homeschooled, but I don't know if I should do this or the other option.
2.) Schedule Change - I was thinking about going to our school principal and have her change my schedule (Yes, i'm able to do that) because I have 2 periods with her, 1 period with her friend (She's in one the girl's periods), and 1 with her other friend (She's also in one of her periods. We have Science and Math together and I just don't want her in them. What option should I choose and why/why not?
Thank you for the help and sorry if this is long I really just need help
-Amy
If this girl won't allow you to talk to her and apologize if that is what is needed. Try giving her a note to that effect.
While you may be able to change your schedule I would think your principal would want a valid reason for doing so. If I were your principal I would want one. It is not as easy as you may think to change a persons schedule. Each of you are placed in a class of students of equal learning ability. Each teacher while teaching the same subject matter teaches at a different rate and in different manners. Changing your schedule this far into the schedule may not be in your best interest without a valid reason.
If this girl and her friends are bullying you then I would advise telling your parents. Home schooling is not an option as mom or dad first has to agree to home teach you and then has to apply to do so. This could take time.
If you are being bullied this girl is more in the wrong then you may be for whatever reason she may feel she has the right to bully or tease you. Bullying is very much on the look out for of today's school administrators. Every school district is suppose to have a zero tolerance for bullying. I understand your reluctance not to want to say anything. Regardless of her reasons for doing so. Regardless of how wrong you may be in her being mad at you. If she and her friends are bullying you over it they and she are more in the wrong then you are.
I urge you to discuss this with your parents. I would think if you were to ask your parent to homeschool you they would want to know why. So regardless of your desire not to tell I see no way you can avoid it if you chose to change your schedule or asked to be home schooled.
Regardless of all of this bullying puts you in danger of being physically hurt. I urge you to talk with your parents.
i am 14 years old,female. my parents have been separted for 3 years, divorced for exactly 2. i didnt really realize that my dad was abusive towards me until a few months ago. he is a narcissist to the maxxxxxxxxx like no joke. he is very smart with numbers and facts and so he tries to twist EVRYTHING around and make it seem something differnt to benefit HIM. i went out to dinner with him to tell him how I feel not him, and all he kept talking was himself, me, me, me. and im sick of it. he uses self pity, manipulation, denial, lying, everything. i have 4 other syblings, my older sister doesnt even see my dad becasue she knows what a psycho he is. my little brother doesnt even "care" or so he says about havign a father right now becasue my dad hasnt seen or talked to him since fathers days. and that is what gets me most mad, i am a very protective sibling and im a straight shooter and have no problem with confronting people and so i was like wtf is going on? you dont feel like you should talk to him..like at all? but listen to this..he goes no im very hurt that HE (my little brother) hasnt texted me its very upsetting..im like are you fucking out of your mind? your the father like get ur shit together and be a father. and i told him the other day basically a fuck you that he doesnt care about anyone but himself and all he said was sorry you feel that way..like really? and i cant go back to seing him its such a toxicccccc relationship and i feel so much better not seeing him.BUT i was sooo stressed out because my dad being the narc that he is ALWAYS put me in the middle between me and my mom wanted me to pick sides and to go back and forth and its just such bullshit im so over him really. but over the 3 years i've lost frends, grades went down oyu name it, and this year of freshman year means a lot to me, and i want to do good, and i knew the first step was letting him go. i guess the hardest part was admitting that how i feel when i see him and when i dont, my feeling dont change, i still feel like i dint have a father. but i have to deal with that on my own and learn to accept it. so it's just affected me in
I am so sorry you are being treated this way by your dad. I know how you feel. It took me much longer and an a disabling auto accident to learn what you have learned at such a young age.
I am old enough to be your grandfather so I am going to slip into that role in answering you. There is an answer for you and it is not suicide.
Let's start with your concern with your father keeping up his health insurance for you and your siblings. While I understand your concern this really isn't something you should be concerned about. As part of your parents divorce the courts will have ordered him to keep up his insurance both health and life. He may have divorced your mother. He can't divorce his children. By law he is responsible for you until you reach the age of 18. Possible longer if you go to college. So this would be a concern for your mother, not you and there is remedy at law for this if for some reason he has not kept the insurance up.
That being said; you have put yourself under a lot of stress. Stress breeds depression. While I am not a doctor I can see in what you have written a number of the stressors that would indicate you could be suffering from depression. You need to see a doctor and be properly screened and treated for depression if found.
Your concern for antidepressants is valid. Today though there are some medications that doctors can prescribe for those under 18 that do not have the side effects you are concerned about. Like any other antidepressant the administration of them must be monitored by the proper doctor and the patient, you, should be in therapy with a psychologist to learn just what is the primary stressors causing the depression and how to deal with it.
All of this will be covered under health insurance. If for some reason your father is not paying for his heath insurance. There is a safety net program designed to provide medical care for children.
I can't tell you whether you should continue to see your father or not. I just don't have the medical knowledge to make that recommendation. What I can tell you is this is something you need to discuss with your therapist. One thing to remember is that now that you are 14 you have medical confidentiality under a federal law known as HIPPA. Nothing you say to or are treated for by any Medical Professional, this includes paramedics and EMTS, can be told to anyone without your written permission. This includes anything discussed in therapy.
This means you can say anything you want to your therapist. Tell him or her your deepest secrets and it stays between you. It has to for therapy to work.
My advice is to see a doctor. Since you are 14; under the same law you don't need parental permission to see a doctor. Ask the doctor to screen you for depression then follow the doctors advice.
If you are feeling suicidal at any time pick up the phone and dial 911, help will be sent to you.
Well, my friend and I (I'll just call her T) went to a dance/disco thing on Friday night, and honestly, I knew that I was completely straight till then. We were dancing and everything and then we started "dirty dancing" and grinding and I found it kind of a turn on I guess. It was new, and exciting... I've never been sexually attracted to anyone other than guys so could this be something worth trying out further or was it just a one night fling. Oh and I'm 15/F and so is my friend, but she's bi as well.
First your not bi and your friend probably isn't bi either. There are several reasons I say this.
At your present age you need to be very careful about putting labels on yourself, especially sexual ones. While there is nothing wrong with being bi or even being gay; kids at school are not always very accepting of these labels and you can be hurt both physically and emotionally.
Then there is your age to consider, At 15 you are still deep in the throws of puberty. Your body is still changing and producing hormones you have yet to adjust to. You are also still trying to figure out who you are both sexually and as person. As a person you are starting to look for your place in this world as well.
Trying to figure out who or what your sexuality is perfectly normal for your age. What you should not do is jump to the conclusion based on this one time feeling.
When I was in college there were girls you would swear were gay. Lesbian sex was very much the norm in the female dorms. There were reasons for this. First it was readily available. Second it was safer. Third as there was a war going on at the time girls out numbered the boys so lesbian sex was the quickest and easiest way to get sexual relief. Today those same girls are as straight as they come. I am still friends with some of them and they prefer not to even discuss those times. So I guess it is a good thing they never actually said they were bi or gay as those labels tend to stay with you.
Your teenage years are meant to be a time of discovery. No I am not suggesting you go out and have sex. Your too young for sex. While your body may appear to be ready it is still changing You may also be a very mature 15 year old; though you have yet to obtain the maturity needed to fully understand the adult relationship required for sex.
Still this is the time for discovering who you are both as a person and where your place in this world is and who you are sexually. Sexually speaking you will grow and learn about yourself in many ways without having intercourse. This is how it is suppose to be. To use an analogy; in almost everything we do there is a learning curve. If you want to be a pilot you don't just jump in a plane and fly off. You first go to school and learn to fly the plane. It is the same with sex and sexuality. If you just jump into bed and have intercourse you are missing a very important part of intimacy that goes with intercourse. This takes time to learn and this is what your teenage years are all about . LEARNING.
So in short explore, learn but do not label. Take your time to learn and not rush things. You have a long life ahead of you so don't rush it.
I am 17 and a senior in high school, trying to cope with the insanity of my mother.
Let's start off with saying she has gone overboard. She doesn't ever do anything around the house, she never takes care of my baby brother, and she doesn't ever spend time with my siblings and I like a real mother should. She's always in the garage, on the computer, on her phone, and smoking. Yet she claims she's quitting. My stepdad is in Michigan for two more weeks for a job, and I know she's stressed out, but that gives her NO right to treat me the way she does.
She always complains she never gets a break from my brother. It's her kid. She shouldn't have to have a break from him. I have school, homework, chores, and on top of that, she doesn't clean, so because I can't stand looking at the mess and my siblings don't clean up, I automatically take the stand and clean.
Yesterday, she told me to take my brother to a football party with my boyfriend and his family. There was absolutely nothing to do. She said she didn't feel like watching him. We took him for three hours because she threatened me and yelled at me, saying she'll make me babysit from Saturday to Monday morning (remember, I have school and wake up at 6:30), and so I got my brother and we sat around all day, except for when we took him to the park and pool. So we had him from 3 to 7. She said she didn't care when we brought him home, but when we got there to drop him off, she screamed at me and yelled, "YOU ONLY HAD HIM FOR AN HOUR!" And proceeded to bitch, so my boyfriend and I ignored her and took my brother to the park at 8. She says I never do anything for her. I babysit and clean all the time and she owes me about thirty bucks in babysitting money, and I need it to pay for my senior year.
She told me to talk to her today about how I am feeling, and I did. I told her I am done going out of my way for her because nothing is ever good enough and I miss my mom. I want a mom who spends time with me and chats with me about my relationship. She said she doesn't care and she's not my friend, she's my mom, and she always says I'm ridiculous and being emo. And that's why I don't talk to her about things. She said she doesn't care what I think or how I feel and she's gonna sit in the garage as long as she wants to because she's the adult and she's going to make me watch my brother however long she wants. She said if I don't like the way I am treated, I can move out and live with my boyfriend if "he gets a fucking job". He's graduated and struggling with a job, and he's 18. She is emotionally abusing me. She isn't my friend anymore and all she seems to care about is herself and her husband. She always complains how stressed out she is, and when I try to help, it's still not good enough. I have decided to ignore her completely and not even talk to her. Why do I want to live with someone who doesn't care about how I feel or what I think?
I need help... I am tired of being abused: both emotionally, physically, and verbally. She hits me, pulls my hair, threatens me, and pushes me, and makes me feel absolutely worthless. She doesn't help me with college plans because she said I need to take of my life myself, when I'm still technically only a kid and I have no idea what I am doing. I feel helpless, terrified, and I have no where to turn. I am scared of her and I am crushed that she doesn't give a shit about me. I am so upset that I've lost my old mom. She used to be different before my brother came along. Now, it seems like all I am good for is being the nanny. I hate her with every part of me now. I don't want to live her anymore. I don't deserve this. I'm not a bad kid, I do what I'm told and I make good grades and I just don't think it's right to make me feel worthless. Aren't you supposed to feel safe in your house? Happy?
I'm afraid and helpless. My boyfriend wants me to live with him and his parents, but if I do that, I can't take all my stuff and my cat, because his parents have limited space and are allergic to cats. I'm afraid if I leave, my mom will give away my stuff and I will be a burden to everyone who wants me out. I won't have a lot of transportation to school or anything to pack for lunch like I do here, because I am a vegetarian.
So I'm kind of at a crazy moment. I don't know what to do. I don't want the cops involved or any of my siblings taken away, because I am the only one she treats this way.
Please help... I can't take this anymore. I WANT OUT.
Every story has two sides, the one I'm hearing and the the one the other person might say. Because of that I will not take a side in this.
What I will say is that if you feel your mother is abusing you. Not properly caring for you and your siblings. Then there is help for you and there is a proper way to go about getting it.
Like it or not mom is legally responsible for you and your siblings until you reach the age of 18. Part of those responsibilities is seeing to it you are clothed, feed, healthy and gotten to school. Forcing you to baby sit does not rise to the level of abuse. Making you mother your brother does for both you and him.
What you need is an adult advocate, someone who can speak out for you to the proper people who will see to it that mom lives up to her legal responsibilities as a mother. You will find that person in the form of a trusted teacher or your school principal.
Go to one of them and tell them, calmly, what you have written to us. If need be rewrite what you have written to us. Stick with just what mom isn't doing and what you feel you need to do in order to keep you and your siblings safe and healthy. The squabbling between you and your mom; well many teenage daughters and their moms do not get along and what you said about that may be seen that way by whoever you relate all this too. You can if you wish say something that this has caused a rift and verbal abuse between you both.
The school is obligated to have your allegations investigated. This does not mean you and your siblings will be taken from her. That is a last resort. Instead a social service worker is sent to the home. Based on the findings of the visit there are a number of things, including getting mom the help she may need to remedy whatever may be bothering her. She may be depressed or have some other illness. If so social services will see to it she gets the medical attention she needs so she gets back to the mother you want.
So my advice to talk to a trusted teacher or your school principal and ask one of them for help.
I want to have sex with someone somehow but how?
I am 16 years old I am desperate and I am a male.
I try to look at porn and masturbate but I want to move on to the real thing.
I am not the guy how wants a girlfreied then sex. I just want to have sex but not a relationship. Please help give some advice thanks.
I am delighted by your honesty. What you are looking for is what we older people refer to as friends with benefits. Unfortunately girls your age are reluctant to have sex in the first place. They have to feel they are in a loving relationship before they will consider having sex with someone. So a relationship solely based on sex is probably out of the question.
I would not recommend looking for someone old enough who might be willing to have this type of relationship. Being 16 you are legally underage to give consent to having sex. Anyone old enough for this type of relationship would be of an age where she would be in jeopardy of going to jail for having sex with you.
My advice: If you are unwilling to get into a relationship then for at least the next 2 years. Stick with the porn and masturbation. There is really nothing wrong with either. Once your 18 you can go looking for a girl, over 18, who would be willing to be a friend with benefits if you still want that type of relationship.
Is it more bisexual to get your dick sucked and rubbed or suck a dick and rub them? I would want to expierament maybe once and see if I like it but I still wouldn't be bi or gay I I don't like it? That's what I think. I think I'm hit a curious teenager going through puberty
Your not bi sexual you are someone who is young and experimenting with his sexuality. This is normal for any teenager, male or female. There is no need at this stage of your life to label yourself for wanting to experiment. Experimentation is all part of getting to know your sexuality. It is driven by the new hormones now floating in you caused by puberty.
The feeling you are presently having will continue as your body continues to change and your level of maturity adjusts to the new hormones. Once you have adjusted to the new hormones you will have more control over your sexuality and will begin to understand just who you are not only sexually but as an adult person as well.
This will take some time and each of us adjusts at a different rate. In the mean time you are a normal teenage male trying to figure out just who you are sexually.
Frankly at this stage of puberty you should not be engaging in sex as you are truly to young to understand the full meaning of sex. Yes, your body is capable of sexual relations and it is capable of impregnating a female. You though have not gained the level of maturity needed to engage in sexual relations. Sex is not a sport where you see how many girls you can deflower or get into bed. It is a loving relationship between two people At the moment love and lust is seen by most boys as synonymous words. Until you can separate the two words you should not be engaging in sex.
I'm 14, female and is doubting my sexuality. I know this is the age of finding yourself but I have a suspicion that I may be bi. This girl(not putting name) said she liked me, and ive said I have been bi now for 2 years for I have had relationships with girls and boys. but after I said no im straight. But now spending more time with her im growing feelings for her, and when she told me about another girl who was hitting on her I got really annoyed and jealous and now I find myself telling myself im bi then that im straight. I don't know what you do in a lesbian relationship so don't want to go out with her, im scared if the truth I think, doubting myself. Please help its tearing me apart.
Okay its time for some grandfatherly advice and since I am of that age I will offer it.
Your fourteen and you are correct in what you said; this is the age of finding yourself. This includes your sexuality. This is not the time to label yourself. Labeling yourself opens you up to a world of hurt as people your age don't understand many things. What they don't understand they ridicule especially when it comes to sex.
There is nothing wrong with being bi or even being gay. Right now you truly do not have the experience to know what your sexuality is and rightfully so.
When I was in college many girls I know could have labeled themselves bi or even lesbians for lesbian sex was rampant among most female dorms. Why was this? Well first of all when I was in college there was a war going on an women out numbered men, so so sex with another women was just pain easier. It was also safer as you cannot get pregnant for lesbian sex. Many of them just didn't have time for relationships but they did need sexual relief. Lesbian sex was easier and faster to find.
Those same girls after college never thought to have a bi or even lesbian relation ship again. It was simply a means to an end. So should they have been labeled. I don't think so.
You certainly do not need to label yourself at your age. Do you need to experiment. Some girls do some girls don't. It appears you may need to. I see nothing wrong with experimenting. For one thing it allows you to get in touch with your own sexuality and your own feelings. How you like to be touched and how you don't like to be touched and can be done without worry of pregnancy.
I should be telling you not to be engaging in any type of sex. I am liberal enough in my views to understand you have your doubts at the moment. This is fine many girls do. I do suggest that you wait awhile until you are more mature and your body has matured to the point that puberty and the new hormones have leveled off. Part of the problem you are having is adjusting to these new hormones and this will continue for a while.
I believe that until your physical body and your mental maturity adjust to the new hormones you will continue to shall we say ping pong on your sexual feelings. This would be normal and nothing to tear you apart as you say. It should not tear you apart if you understand why you are being this way.
Relax, you are a normal 14 year old girl. Enjoy being a young teenager. When the time is right for sex you will know it. Do not rush into it because your hormones are in an uproar at the moment. They will subside and when they do you will have more control over your sexual feelings.
whats some good porn sites that are not blocked by the schools.and i need to know how to get a girl to have sex with me.
Whoa, back the horse up there guy. Watching porn of the school computers is the quickest way to get yourself expelled from school. Besides the blocking software many schools have other software to alert someone when inappropriate content is being viewed. They may not come for you right then as the program may run at night by the IT department. It tells then that on station number ? at this time this site was prohibited viewed. Your principal is notified and the librarian is asked who was on the computer at that time. Then you are sent for. Since you are asking how to get around the Net Nanny I doubt you have the skills to defeat the IT department.
Now as to how to get a girl to have sex with you. If your asking this question you are probably to young to be having sex in the first place. In the second place girls do not have to have sex with you. Sex is something that happens in a loving relationship and is not a sporting event to see how many girls you can get into bed with.
I've been feeling so down and so lonely for a while. I'm not the kind of girl that likes to express my feelings with people only cause I really don't want to worry them. I'd rather keep everything to myself. I don't think it's working cause it only makes me
feel more and more down each day. at first I started off with feel down, then i started to stay up late thinking, now I just wanna cry at random times of the day but I hold everything in cause I don't want to worry anyone and I cry myself to sleep a lot of the times. it's only gotten worse. I honestly think I should talk to someone but I just can't /.\ whenever I'm around people I always act like I'm alright but when I'm by myself I just cry a little , any advice would be great ? thanks /.\
I think I know how you feel. There are just times you need to talk, to get things out of your system. You need to talk to someone who will hold your confidence and not belittle you as we parents sometimes do, unfortunately.
The person that best fits this description is a trained therapist, probably a psychologist. If you are under 18 and still living at home then you need to speak to one of your parents to make the initial appointment for you.
The best way to go about this is just the way you told us. If your a female I would add to assure your parent you are not pregnant as this is the first thing that pops into the head of a girls parents. So just tell them you feel the need to see a therapist to work out some personal problems as your are feeling depressed. Depressed and down are the same but depressed will have more impact on your parents.
Finding a therapist you are comfortable with sometimes takes going through more than one or two therapists until you find one you are comfortable in telling your deepest darkest secrets two. Your therapist is going to be you best friend in that way. For everything you say in therapy stays in therapy. Especially if you are over 14 years of age. Everything that is said in therapy stays in therapy.
Lets say for example something at home is bothering you. Your therapist might suggest inviting your parents to a therapy session. Your therapist will be there to support you and help you explain to your parents what it is at home that is bothering you and what can be done to fix it. But only that problem will be discussed with them and nothing else. You are in control, if you don't want a joint session it doesn't happen.
Your parents can ask what is going on but as far as specifics of therapy they cannot be told as it is confidential. Only you can authorize release of information and it must be in writing as to who can have access to what is happening in therapy.
Hi
I am thinking about to kill myself.
My life is not going well.I fill hopeless and everyone hates me.
I am totally dumn and arrogant person and I am s fsilure in USA.
Well those are really good reason for someone to kill themselves over. Of course you could try to change things. I mean you are not really dumb, you were able to express yourself to us so you must have paid attention to somethings in school and now you regret not paying attention to everything that was available to you.
Ever hear of adult education courses. They are available at your local high school and community college. Go back and get the education you missed and you will not feel dumb. This eliminates that reason.
Your arrogant and people hate you: Your arrogant because you feel your not as good as those you are with. Mostly because you are missing the education and knowledge they have gained. Going back to school and picking up what you missed will help you here as well. When you feel you are on the same plain as they are you won't be as arrogant as you feel you are and people won't hate you. So going back to school will eliminate this reason.
That about covers your reasons for wanting to kill yourself and we have eliminated them all. So as you can see you have no reason to do so and there really is never a reason to do so.
Suicide is never and answer, it is a final solution which leaves behind a whole lot of hurt for those that love you. Your parents, brothers, sisters and other family and friends. Suicide is also very painful. It is not like it is depicted in Hollywood movies and TV.
Do yourself a favor before you do anything else call this hotline for the National Suicide Prevention Center. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
It was not my intention to belittle your reason, instead it was my intention to point out that your reasons have solutions. These people can actually help you find those solutions. So please call them.
There are at least 4 people, myself and the three others who have answered you, who have enough love and compassion for you to ask you not to think of suicide but to think of life. So call the hotline or call 911 and get yourself the proper help. Your problems are just that, problems for which there are solutions.
I just moved into an apartment complex and im really excited to be out on my own. But no one told me how LOUD and INSENSITIVE people are. I got 4 hours of sleep last night because people were up having a party til 4 in the morning and this morning someones stupid dog wouldn't shut up. I called to complain about the noise issue but they said there is only so much they can do. I have a very unsafe and demanding job and I require my 8 hours of sleep to be at my best. I can't get out of my lease cuz it will cost me three months rent and it took me months to find a place to begin with. Advice from anyone who's lived in an apartment would be appreciated!!!!!
Read read your lease. Every lease I have ever read or signed has a quiet hour clause. This clause spells out the hours in which all noise must remain within the 4 walls of the unit. If a tenant breaks this clause they can be subject to eviction.
What you need to do is as I said reread you lease to find this clause. Many states require this clause to be in the lease. Once you find this clause you need to send a registered letter to the Corporate address shown on your lease complaining of the violations. In your letter you must include time dates and durations of the violation. It generally takes more than one violation for a landlord to seek and eviction. Even so notifying them of a violation allows them to either start a file or add to an existing file.
If after you have repeatedly notified the landlord of the problem and no relief is obtained you then can go to landlord tenant court to seek relief. Relief can be to have your lease cancelled and your security deposit returned so that you may move out without penalty. The court could also order the landlord to pay all costs of your moving.
As you can see there are ways for you to seek relief without penalty or to force action by your landlord to enforce the lease. You just have to do so by the proper numbers.
M/17
In the past year I've really started to get into guitar. About 4 months ago I got an electric guitar and amp for about $160 at best buy. It was basically a cheapo Gibson. My dad knows a lot about guitar and he's really good at it. Plus, he's kind of old so he's always talking about how everything was cheaper back then and whatnot. So I told him I wanted to get a PRS, and he's talking about how I don't need a new one and that he's never even heard of Paul Reed Smith guitars. He's the type that he'll use anything as long as it works. I went to guitar center and tried out a bunch of PRS models on an amp that I want. All the models I tried are from $460-$700. And they all sounded and felt better than a $1,000 Gibson I tried. He said he could probably get me the amp I want which is $150 Marshall. But he keeps saying I don't need a new guitar. What's ironic is that a few years ago they spent about $500 on a PS3 and games for me at Best Buy. Yet They won't get me an instrument for $500. I told them I was going to sell some of my stuff and they told me not to. Yet they won't get it for me. It doesn't make any sense. I want to be able to buy something because I'm comfortable with it and like it for the sound. And not buy something because it's the "cheapest one" They can get it for me, but they're not. I can get it myself, but they won't let me. wtf?
As parents we are a strange type of people. When you think you have us figured out you really don't. You see we are actually born parents and never experienced being a teenager so we can't empathise with you as how you are feeling. Not really so but I thought I would throw that in for some comic relief.
I can't really say exactly what your parents are thinking or feeling as I don't know you or what your attention span to these type things are. What I can do is go on my experience with my own son. He has spent fortunes on different things, such as scuba diving equipment, all most $5,000. Paintball guns and whatever goes into to that past time, $3,000. Game boys and other gaming equipment. He has to have the latest and greatest.
He is now 30 and into the 2nd Amendment rights and Guns. In the last month alone he has spent over $3,500 on two hand guns and he has two more at his home and 3 rifles. About the only thing he has actually stuck with for any long term duration though has been his interest in firefighting, which is how he makes his living. He started out as a volunteer fire fighter buying all the fancy gear volunteers buy.
So is it possible your dad may be like me and is waiting to see how long your interest in Guitars last before he sinks a large sum of money into an interest that may just be placed aside when you find a new more expensive hobby.
I don't know if this answer helps you at all though it is the only thing I can think of given I don't know you or your parents. If I am any where close to being correct then you need to convince your dad this interest is not just another pacing fancy before he may be willing to invest $3,000 in it.
I don't know if my answer actually helps you but maybe it has given you some insight to the parental thought process.
My girlfriend delays when we must have sex. What might be the cause of procrastination? And our relationship is doing well
I have a question. Who or what put the "MUST" in having sex? Last time I checked sex was a strictly voluntary event for which there is no MUST about it. If it is your feeling that your girlfriend "MSUT" have sex with you for some reason then your answer is staring you in the face. She must WANT to have sex with you before she WILL have sex with you.
Try taking the "MUST out of it and try wooing her into a having sex with you. If you do this you will get more sex then if you make a girl feel see is obligated to have sex with you because you have honored her by dating her.
my mum is an alcohol addict,she comes drank and take it all on us especialy the housemaid.insultn her,shouting etc.today i felt bad after the action and i told her what i felt.and i shouted at her she is pissed bigtime.pls help.what do i do
The problem with alcoholics is there is nothing you can do to help them or force them to get help until they admit they have a problem. They won't admit to having a problem until they hit bottom which is different for every one.
My brother on-law is a 25 year recovering alcoholic. You are never cured, you are always in recovering. His bottom was waking up in the drunk tank at our local jail. The officer that arrested hi helped him get into aa. The officer and he are now best of friends and have been since that time. It is from him that I have learned about what it takes to help and alcoholic and the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. Until then there is nothing that can be done for them.
There is though something that you can do to help yourself along with your siblings and you dad. That is to join and seek advice from a group called al anon and al ateen for the teenagers. These groups have regular weekly meetings where you will meet people like yourselves who are dealing with people addicted to different substances. Through them you can and will learn how best to deal with your mom.
There is no real charge to attend these meetings. Like in aa during a meeting a basket is passed and you are asked to make any donation you can afford. If you can't afford a donation then you don't make one. You will not be turned away.
Below is the URL which will take you to the website for the al anon/al ateen meeting locator.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
Im a male teenager, straight forsure. But.. When I'm
Horny I watch gay porn it turns me on soo much and I realy like watching it , I would only date and be with girls, but I would wanna get my penis sucked and rubbed by another guy, or maybe even do anal one day. I'm striaght though I get these feeling a lot now, is it just puberty and growing up? I know I'm not gay or bi bit I know I'm
Bicurious, should I try things with a guy?
I'm glad you put in the part about going through puberty as it tells me a lot about your age and what you are feeling at this time.
First, relax your normal. What you are experiencing is finding out about who you are sexually. All of us, girls and boys, go through this during puberty. Many of us may even have a gay experience in our early teen years. This does not mean we are gay, bi or truly bi curious.
All any of us are doing is learning about our sexuality and sex in general. This is very normal. There are a lot of things that are done during this time that are brought about because of the new hormones puberty puts into our body. There is nothing wrong with this and it is all part of going through puberty and learning about sexuality.
First of all I'm 18 but I've always been into guys who were older than me and I've been told I'm very mature for my age by a lot of people.
I went on a dating site a month ago because I chose not to date in high school rather to focus on my grades,competitions and volunteer hours. I talked to quite a few men but none of them really interested me and a lot of them just sounded like they were out to sleep with somebody.
Then I met this guy who seems so perfect for me.
He's 28 but he looks younger than that as he stays physically fit and healthy. I've messaged him a lot and I also have his facebook with his family on it and I've talked to him on the phone for 5 hours so I know he's real.
We have so much in common that it's crazy and it's not like he just agrees with what I say to make me feel good, whatever topic we're talking about no matter who brings it up we share a similar opinion on. We get along so well and have similar goals. He doesn't do any drugs which is awesome since neither do I and he only drinks on occasions which I think is okay even though I don't drink.
He has a great job with fantastic pay and already paid off a house (which he sent me photos of) which is a huge plus but of course it's more about his personality. He likes traveling which I also like and he's willing to move close to me to be with me long term. He doesn't want some fling either he wants to settle down with a girl,marry her and live life with her.
He really likes me and I like him a lot too which is rare since a lot of guys turn me off pretty fast. He doesn't want sex or anything from me other than for me to just be me.
Do you think I would be stupid to let this one go? I'm just afraid because there's been so many fake guys but I can tell he's being really honest. I've seen so many photos of him and his life now and we talked for a long time today on the phone so I feel good about it but of course I'm still being really cautious.
Do you think this may be the one?
Like the one I shouldn't let get away that I would be a fool to pass up?
If you have had more dating experience and now that you are 18 and above the age of consent. I would be the first one to say; your differences in age is just a number. By your own admission you do not have a lot of dating experience and this worries me as you lack the experience and knowledge that comes form dating.
While you may be mature for your age, you lack some real world experiences that are needed to round out your above average maturity.
Therefore my advice is CAUTION: I am not suggesting you push this man away or that you bring him any closer to you than you already have. While on paper you two sound like an ideal match you at least need to get to know each other on a one to one basis other than over the phone. You need to date him, go places and yes eventually have sex with him and even live with him before you decide to marry him.
At the moment I think you are rushing into something that you are very unfamiliar with and you could end up being hurt. While almost all of us have been hurt over our first true love I would not want you being hurt in this matter, not with the first person you actually are going to have some, hopefully, dating experience with. So I am advising caution. At 28 he should be much more worldly than you both in maturity and dating experience. Your lack of experience in dating is what bothers me and why I fear you could be hurt.
So my advice is to first meet him, date him for a time and then see if what you are thinking as he being the life partner you want is still their. For now though, and they will kick me out of the boys club for this one, look at him as a boy toy to have fun with.
My (good) friend doesn't think I will be a good teacher. Its want I really want to do, but what she has said has knocked my confidence. She said I'm too shy and I don't have a great bond with children. I'm doing as much studying as possible and will soon be volunteering in a school to gain experience with children (as I don't have any experience yet). I love the thought of becoming a teacher and helping children learn, but now I'm doubting my abilities as my friend is right about me being shy I'm worried she's right that I won't make a good teacher. What should I do?
I think you will make an excellent teacher. Being shy has nothing to do with how you will relate to children. Being shy has more to do with how you relate to peers, people your age and older. Because of this you will work harder to be a great teacher, to show those who supervise you what you are capable of.
How do I know this. I to am shy or introverted as they say. Yet I was an excellent sales Manager. Those two really don't make for a good fit. I was able to excel and be a leader in sales and sales management because I had to work harder to prove not only to others but to myself I could do this and I did. I believe you want to teach and you will work hard to prove yourself every day not only to your supervisors but to yourself. This will be a great benefit to the children you teach.
If teaching is what you want then go for it or anything else you want to do. Introverts generally excel at what they truly want for they know they and need to prove themselves every day mainly to themselves.
My motto was and has been; "The only person I need to be better than today, is the person I was yesterday." That motto stood me well in my career. You may adopt it for yourself if you like.
Hello, I'm an eighteen-year-old female that just recently graduated from high school. I'm not employed or going to any other schools, but this annoys my family, so my mother signed me up for a therapist because she thinks it's making me depressed.
I don't feel depressed. I very content with what I spend most of my days doing, but I'm going to give it a try. However, I've never had a therapist before. What exactly am I supposed to talk to this person about if I'm not depressed or miserable or anything?
Therapy is unlike any other medicine. It's is not like when you but a bandage on something and it gets better or you take some medication and you feel better.
This is an opportunity for you to talk to someone in total confidence about anything. You don't have to be depressed to see a therapist. It could be you just want some reassure on anything or anything that is happening in your life.
The therapist is someone you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to in total confidence that they stay in that room. First your 18 and totally responsible for your own medical well being. Meaning your parents no longer have any legal right to any of your medical information. Even if it is their medical insurance paying the bill. Second and doctor or therapist needs your written permission to release any medical information on what you are being seen for and how you are being treated. This includes the information needed to bill the insurance company. The insurance company cannot release any information either without your written permission.
You do not need to be depressed to see a therapist. Use this opportunity to discuss with the therapist any question you may have that you might not have discussed with mom. There is nothing off limits and nothing the therapist will find shocking. This is a great place to ask any questions concerning sex that you may not have wanted to discus with mom.
I have to say that a person who claims God is REAL is not in touch with God, why? God and all religion is based upon faith, the unknown and unknowable, the complete and total ineffibility of God, that God is both unknown and unknowable. Even Jew claim no right of knowing who or what God is. Jesus was a damn good prophet, a genuine Child of God, but not God incarnate, Jesus Did not claim Equality with God, St. Paul states that fact. It is all about faith. And I still think that the World is going to end before December 31st, 2012, why? Why stated the year in specualation, and now the traditional center for the world's destruction is errupting (September 14th, 2012) The us is the Great Satan once more, and radical muslim extremists are on the verge of starting that which we have feared since 1979, Iran's Nuclear development and the fact that there are more radical muslim extremists in the world than there are resonably sane people. God? God only laughs at the folly of mankind.
I'm Not going to try and answer your question, mainly for I'm not sure what your question truly is.
Since just about the dawn of time man has fought wars in the name of God. The most notable were the Crusades. Today we have the Muslim extremists and bigger and better weapons with which to kill ourselves with. Still the world seems to march onward and upward.
Other dates have been given for which day the world would end. These dates have come and gone. Will the world end on 12/31/12? I don't know and I am not going to live in fear of it happening as... well as there is not anything I can do about it if it does happen.
Are you asking if there is a god? I can't answer that question if you are. What I believe is mankind has always had to believe in some type of higher power. Someone or thing that guided their destiny. At some point that someone came to be called a God.
Now I am not an Atheist, I am an Agnostic as I do believe their is a god. I just do not believe in the organized religions and the different bibles. I believe we are all one and there is only one god.
I'm not sure I answered your question, I probably have not. If you can clarify your question for me write me back in a private message and I will give it another try.
i was wondering what girls condoms look like do they look the same as guy condoms and also i was wondering if its bad to have sex with my sister i mean we both like it and it feels so good so is it bad.
Last question first. Not only is it bad to have sex with your sister. In this and other Western Countries it is unlawful. It is called incest. Incest is when you have sex with an immediate relative such as a parent, brother , sister, Aunt, Uncle or First Cousins.
Female condoms look nothing like a male condom. The easiest way to explain what they are is; they are a liner that is about 5" to 6" long and is placed into the vagina prior to intercourse.Most are reusable and are made of a more plastic like material. The end that sticks out of the vagina is wide enough to cover her enter labia. You should be able to find pictures of a female condom by using a search engine.