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Confused About My Sexuality
Well, my friend and I (I'll just call her T) went to a dance/disco thing on Friday night, and honestly, I knew that I was completely straight till then. We were dancing and everything and then we started "dirty dancing" and grinding and I found it kind of a turn on I guess. It was new, and exciting... I've never been sexually attracted to anyone other than guys so could this be something worth trying out further or was it just a one night fling. Oh and I'm 15/F and so is my friend, but she's bi as well.
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First your not bi and your friend probably isn't bi either. There are several reasons I say this.
At your present age you need to be very careful about putting labels on yourself, especially sexual ones. While there is nothing wrong with being bi or even being gay; kids at school are not always very accepting of these labels and you can be hurt both physically and emotionally.
Then there is your age to consider, At 15 you are still deep in the throws of puberty. Your body is still changing and producing hormones you have yet to adjust to. You are also still trying to figure out who you are both sexually and as person. As a person you are starting to look for your place in this world as well.
Trying to figure out who or what your sexuality is perfectly normal for your age. What you should not do is jump to the conclusion based on this one time feeling.
When I was in college there were girls you would swear were gay. Lesbian sex was very much the norm in the female dorms. There were reasons for this. First it was readily available. Second it was safer. Third as there was a war going on at the time girls out numbered the boys so lesbian sex was the quickest and easiest way to get sexual relief. Today those same girls are as straight as they come. I am still friends with some of them and they prefer not to even discuss those times. So I guess it is a good thing they never actually said they were bi or gay as those labels tend to stay with you.
Your teenage years are meant to be a time of discovery. No I am not suggesting you go out and have sex. Your too young for sex. While your body may appear to be ready it is still changing You may also be a very mature 15 year old; though you have yet to obtain the maturity needed to fully understand the adult relationship required for sex.
Still this is the time for discovering who you are both as a person and where your place in this world is and who you are sexually. Sexually speaking you will grow and learn about yourself in many ways without having intercourse. This is how it is suppose to be. To use an analogy; in almost everything we do there is a learning curve. If you want to be a pilot you don't just jump in a plane and fly off. You first go to school and learn to fly the plane. It is the same with sex and sexuality. If you just jump into bed and have intercourse you are missing a very important part of intimacy that goes with intercourse. This takes time to learn and this is what your teenage years are all about . LEARNING.
So in short explore, learn but do not label. Take your time to learn and not rush things. You have a long life ahead of you so don't rush it.
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If you've never been attracted to girls before, you're probably not bi. Being turned on just comes from the sexual stimulation of your bodies grinding. It's a natural reaction to be turned on by that, and it doesn't mean anything about your orientation. Otherwise only bisexuals could have threesomes +!
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