about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

15/Female

Okay, well me and my boyfriend just stated dating not to long ago. And I'm he has been with more people than I have relationship wise. And I have only kissed a guy once. But, what my question is about is how do I become not nervous kissing him? And how do I become not nervous making out with him (would be my first time making out).
I don't want to feel like an idiot....

There is a first time for everything, making out is just one of them. From this point forward in your teenage and adult years there will be many firsts.

Anytime you do something for the first time you must set you boundaries and your rules. Sort of a road map. You would never start a trip someplace you have never been before without mapping out the directions before hand would you? In this instance with a boy more experienced then you it is important that you decide beforehand just how far you will allow him to go while making out.

Every boy in his teenage years is going to pressure a girl to allow him to go as far as he can go. His ultimate goal is to have sex. You and he are ofthe same age you may have the desire and the ability though you are way to young from the stand point of maturity. Set your boundaries and stick to them.

I didn't have daughters though I do have two nieces who lived near me when they were teenagers. I told them what I am about to tell you. "Call me if a boy goes to far and refuses to take you home, I will come and get you."

I suggest you make that same arrangement with your parents or another trusted adult. Never give in to a boy just because you fell trapped.

If you set your boundaries as to how you will allow him to touch you and kiss you; stick to them. This is how you earn respect as a women. NO has to mean NO.

This may not have been the advice you are looking for. Then again there is no handbook as to how to make out with someone. It is something you learn by doing. Just remember when to say STOP and when to say NO. Even if it feels good, once you reach your boundaries you have to put the brakes on or you will loose control. It is very important in these early years of dating that you, the girl, keep control of these situations.

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If me and my girl have sex and I ejactulate and then she hops on after that and I don't clean it up and we start having sex can she still get pregnant

Yes, there may be enough semen in the remaining ejaculate on your penis to impregnate her. Of course all other factors have to be right for this to happen. Though the short answer is a definite yes.

The best way to avoid pregnancy short of not having sex is to use a condom and she should be on birth control.

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So, I have a very healthy sexual relationship with my boyfriend, we have sex about 1-2 times a day. However sometimes we just like to engage in foreplay and we don't even have sex(Which I don't mind) However, I usually end up taking the lead during this. Though if he finishes he tends to just flip over and go to sleep after leaving me hanging. I've tried to stop pleasuring him and see if that would give him the hint to pleasure me for a while but that doesn't work, I've tried tons of things but nothing works. What should I do to give him the hint that this girl needs the same back?

My advice in any sexual situation as you have described is communication. There is no way any of us can know the needs of our partner just by engaging in sex. While sex is something that should come naturally to all of us it is also a learned experience.

Example: Men believe that all women are vaginal in their sexual pleasure. This is a learned experience for them from talking with their buddies and watching porn films. Fact: Many women are not vaginal in their sexual pleasure but are more clitoral. If you are one of these women how is your partner to know this if you do not communicate this to him.

One of the most beautiful things about sex is finding new ways to pleasure each other. This too requires communication for both partners must be willing to try something for it to be truly pleasurable. Both partners need to understand that "NO" means "NO" and "STOP means "STOP". These are ground rules that need to be discussed in all relationships.

Communication is the key to any good relationship particularly sex the most intimate of relationships. So talk to your boyfriend tell him that he is leaving you hanging at times. If you are resentful that he gets his pleasure and then turns over and goes to sleep say so. Also ask him to tell you things that would make sex more pleasurable for him. Exchange fantasies to see if you are both willing to make them realities.

Nothing that happens in the privacy of your home and bedroom is weired or strange as long as it is consensual to both parties. The operative word is consensual. Maybe you try something an you both or one of you don't care for it. Then you don't do it again. That really is the long or the short of it in life today.

Learn to communicate which also means to listen as well as to speak. If you learn to do this you will not only have a better sex life. Life in general will be much better.

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so im a freshman in high school.14/f. the high school and middle school are connected and most of my classes are in the opposite direction of my locker so i just cut through the middle school and it just so happens that i have a class in the middle school but obviously for freshman and up but thats just where the room is. and the teacher who's room it is i've had for 7th and 8th grade and he's a guy. he is just a dick. to make it short. he's pathetic and werid and and creepy i've always been a bitch to him becasue i hated him. but this year i really want to start off good and try to be nicer to people haha but yeah. and so he's werid like he's been doing this ever since i had him, for no reason he stands outside his class to just say hi to people. well i have to pass him like maybe 4x a day. so i just started being nice to him. but he's always been nice to me, but like in a creepy way. like he would only call me by my last name with Miss in front of it and call the other girls by their first. and im not even his student and he still does it. and he has stared at my butt and and body and like thats sooooo different if a like 30 something year old guy is creepily staring at you and not a tenager. but so i have it 1st period i have a class in his classroom but with a differnt teacher. but he still stays out side. so ANYWAY my friend gave me a peice of gum at the end of class, and i was waiting for my other friend so we could go to biology and we were the only two kids or girls in the room besides my hs teacher and the crepy teacher. so my middle school teacher goes, uhm you better spit that out. I said-nahh im ok, he’s like spit it out. and im like we can chew gum in the high school (which we can!) and so by this time my friend walks out i guess thinking i was right behind her. and i start to follow her out the door. and the teacher blocks the door with his body. it was only him in the room and my hs teacher who was on the computer so he didnt see. (thank god he was there....) i try to go around him he blocks me again. and im like fuckin 5 ft 1in or something and hes like really tall like more than average. so the second time i try to go around, i had my backpack on both shoulders and he pulls/drags me to the garabge can and makes me spit it out. it happened so fast, all i could think was wtf? you fucking werido get the fuck off dont touch me. but all i said was im going to be late for class but he didnt care. then i told my friends in biology and they said that its considered abuse. is that true? im just totally curious..i have no idea. thanks for the advice.

For a teacher to put hands on a student in the manner you describe can be considered "Child Abuse", depending on the laws in the state where you live. The fact that you were being obnoxious to him and failing to follow what he considered to be a proper direction also plays into just how much of an abuse this may have been under the law.

Now by Board of Education rules and terms of his contract this may be a different matter. Where I live there is no Corporal Punishment, meaning if you are not aware, students cannot be spanked or paddled by teachers. Teachers may only lay hands on students for the safety of the student or others. In other words to break up a fight. To do other wise they are subject to termination.

So now the question becomes did the teacher break the law in dragging you in the manner you say and forcing you to spit the gum out? Does your State allow for Corporal Punishment? If so does this fall within acceptable guidelines of Corporal Punishment? In manhandling you did this teacher violate Board of Education Rules?

The answer to any and all of these questions needs to come from the Principal of your school and asked by your parents if they deem it necessary to do so. It is their decision as to whether to press charges be they legal or administrative charges.

My advice is to tell your parents what happened. If you were in any way harmed, shoved into a wall or banged your head. Then my advice is you must tell you parents for this teacher lost control in disciplining you, if that is what he was doing. For a teacher to loose control in that manner is never acceptable.

I will leave it up to you if this needs to go beyond where it is now. If so then talk with your parents.

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Its been a week that i am in a relationship. i think its not working because my guy wants to make out with me for which i am not ready. i have tried to make him understand but he is not. i really love him. i told him i can't go beyond a passionate kiss with you. please help me, its been very distracting i really want to spend time with him, being naughty but i am not interested in being fucked or blow jobs . i don't know with me its like butterflies in stomach and i really need him

I might be old fashion in my answer but I am also very liberal in most of my views on sex and young people. So give me the benefit of the doubt in what I have to say.

If you are not ready to go beyond hand holding and passionate kissing stage then that is all there is to it. It matters not if your 16 or 61, your not ready. If your boyfriend is not accepting of this than he is not in love with you, and has no respect for you as a women. He sees you simply as a sexual object. This is not an acceptable situation in which to build a romance from.

In any sexual situation regardless of how old you are "NO" must mean "NO" no matter which partner says it, the other partner must stop. To continue is either rape or sexual harassment. It really does not get any plainer than that.

This is not a matter of who is the boss. This is the matter of right and wrong. Right now your boyfriend is being very, very wrong. I understand you have feelings for him. Unfortunately I don't see him having anything but sexual interest in you.

My advice therefore is to tell him if he can't restrain his hormones and respect you as a women. Then you no longer wish to date him. I wish there was better advise to give you but there is not. It is in fact the best advise for it is better to send him away before he actually does physical harm to you.

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how should i ask my mom to put me on birth control. she has talked it about butting me on it becouse she found out that i have done stuff but never taken me to a doc or anything. im 16 and my boy friend is 18 we havent talked about even having sex but i want to be on the safe side and be on birth control.

According to a Federal Law known as HIPPA, the Health Information Personal Protection Privacy Act. You are now old enough that you do not need parental permission to vist a doctor or request birth control. You have medical privacy when it comes to your reproductive health. No doctor or medical practitioner can release any information regarding, examination or treatment without your written permisiion. Mom can no longer be in the exam room with you during any medical examination, without your permission, as well. You have had this medical privacy and confidentiality since you were 14 years old.

Congress specifically wrote this into the law so that young people, both male and female, would seek medical help for problems with their reproductive systems. This law gives you the privacy you and your doctor need so that you can speak openly to your doctor and that the doctor can properly treat you for what ever concerns you have. Even if your doctor was a close friend of the family or even a relative they risk loosing their license and going to jail if they release any information without your written permission.

The TV program "House" featured a show where this law was shown at work protecting House's patient privacy. Keeping the fact that she was pregnant and going to have an abortion from her parents. Even a court could not force House to divulge the information. This was a fictional program who's content was based in fact.

So to answer your question: Legally you do not have to ask parental permission even if your parents insurance is paying for the doctors visit and the birth control you and the doctor chose.

Based on what you have written though. If you have the type of relationship where you can have an open conversation with your mother then I suggest the following. Take mom out for the day. Maybe lunch at the mall over which you can bring up the fact that she once said something to the effect of putting you on birth control. You can say you are older now and have thought about it and besides the obvious reason for birth control pills. The fact that it also regulates your period seems to you as a good idea also add in that you and your boyfriend are not active sexually in that way.

Otherwise see a women's clinic of your doctor on your won now that you know you do not need parental permission. Also your family doctor cannot refuse you by asking for moms okay. Just say the word HIPPA.

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I am a 14 year old girl that is a freshman at this high school. I really like this guy and I don't know if he feels the same way about me so I asked his friend what he thinks of me. My friend sent me a screenshot of the conversation and my crush replied, "She's cute, I sort of like her but I barely know her" I was wondering what sort of meant? Like did I have a chance with him? Am I ever going to be his girlfriend? And how should I talk to the guy?

I would say in this instance what your crush is saying is: He doesn't know you well enough to not like you and would be open to getting to know you better. He knows you just well enough to know that he does not, "not like you and would like to get to know you better."

The rest is up to you.

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Hi,

I recently applied for a job, but was unsuccessful after the interview, because "the competition was very fierce".

However, there were 550 applicants, and I was shortlisted for an interview along with 24 other people.

When applying for similar positions, should I state this? Because it is sort of impressive, but would the prospective employer wonder why I didn't get the job, and put them off?

So in short, should I state that I was shortlisted for interview and didn't get the job?

Thanks

I agree with Razhi, this is not something you can put on your resume or cover letter. This is also a claim that can work against you with some HR Specialist doing the first review of your resume.

The HR specialist is the one who will be investing time in the initial interview. He or she is the one you need to convince to bring you back for the all important second interview with the department head or person you will be actually working for.

I believe that anyone who has ever had to make a selection of candidates for a position from resumes understands that the resume is written to put your best image forward. What I look for is how the resume is written. Language, spelling, appearance, grammar and how it was presented, with or without a cover letter is important to me. Then I score it on a one to ten basis.

I then call the people I have rated the resumes for the highest in for an interview. In the first interview I look to see how the person is reflective of their resume; again rating them on a one to ten scale. I then call back the top five for the second interview. There are times and not unusual that the top two or three candidates will be called back for a third interview.

Now everyone does this differently; there is no science or written policy on how to do interviews or rate resumes. What I believe though is you and your resume have to be reflective of each other in the first interview to be called back for the second interview.

My advice is to review your resume to make sure it is not overly exaggerating your abilities. A pre-scripted cover letter should have space for a paragraph or to that can be tailored to the job of the company you are applying for.

On thing you might want to do to better your chances for a second interview; is to send a letter or Email to the interviewer thanking them for their time. You may if you wish take a few lines to show your interest in the particular position you are applying for. If the interviewer is on the fence about you this could tip you into the pile for a second interview.

I hope this helps.

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18/m .M and my girlfriend,we had sex last night for the 1st time.I pulled it out on time.I was not using a condom.And in few minutes we did it again.Now i am scared whether she should take birth controlling tablets.

You do not have to cum inside a girl to make her pregnant. Your pre cum, which acts as a lubricant, is emitted during intercourse without you even feeling it. There is enough sperm in the precum to get a girl pregnant.

This is why the pull out method is such a big failure. If all other factors are right, then the chances of a girl becoming pregnant with this form of birth control are nearly 100%. Remember the factors do not have to right on the day of intercourse as the sperm live for 3 days.

Always, always use a condom and the girls should also be on birth control in case the condom breaks. Also while the condom does not prevent the transmission of all STDs it does prevent many and is the right thing to do for both of you. It is also the gentlemanly thing.

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her mother is going to prison for a year for a forgery charge. I wonder once she goes if I should take my 13 year old daughter to visit her, but I am not sure I want my daughter to be inside a prison environment

it has nothing to do with her mother, she made some stupid mistakes but she is not a bad person nor was she a bad parent to my child, but it is the envioronment I wonder about

This is one of those situations where you and your wife must first decide if this is something you both want.

Then you need to sit down with your daughter and discuss with her about going to visit her mother. At 13 she is much more worldly then we were at that age but she is still emotionally at a very tender age. I'm sure she knows why her mom is in jail. She may have her own feelings as to whether or not she wants to visit her mom. She should not be forced to. She should also not be kept from visiting her mom if she truly wants to visit.

The key here is for you to decide if she truly wants to visit, if she feels obligated to visit or if she has some other reason for visiting her mom. This for you will be the hard part.

I would suggest you consider you both seeing a psychologist to help both of you in this area. I'm sure you both have some issues with what your wife has done. The psychologist can help you both in dealing with them as well as help you decide what is in the best interest of your daughter as far as visiting her mother.

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I am 16, i used to be a funny, cool guy that everyone liked. i started getting made fun of alot back when i was like 13 and 14, and it really messed me up. I care so much about what someone is gonna say if i say something funny or what comment i made. I have become so insecure, and i really have lost my old personality. Iv never felt shy in group situations , but after getting fucked with so much i feel super vulnerable to everything someone says to me. Now there are times when my outgoing,confident, fun personality comes out, and i seriously love it. But after 10- 15 minutes, i start thinking too much and start supressing my personality again, leading to insecurity and depression. If anyone knows any type of guide or hypnosis or whatever, im willing to try it. But im just tired of this and i want to feel free and open again, I feel locked inside of my mind

What stands out for me is the word depression. Depression is a circular type of thing. Depression causes pain, be it emotional or physical. Pain causes depression. Trying to break the cycle is the hard part and is what is the greatest portion of your problem.

Now I am old enough to be your grandfather so some grandfatherly advice is in order here. It is not unusual for someone of your age to feel depressed and as they say crawl inside themselves. Breaking the cycle of depression takes more than hypnosis or over the counter medication. It takes talking with a professional therapist to help you understand the cause of your depression and properly deal with it. What you think is the cause may not actually be the cause. There are many different stressors that can trigger depression.

The first thing you need to do is to find out if you are actually suffering from teenage depression. Yes the actually have a clinical diagnoses for it. Teenage depression is a form of clinical depression and no you are not mentally ill or crazy. In fact you are probably more sane than your friends and worry to much placing yourself under needles stress.

To find out if you are clinically depressed takes a visit to your doctor. It is painless as the doctor will ask you a number of questions. Being your doctor he or she may also want to do a complete physical to make sure nothing organic is bothering you. Should your doctor decide you are suffering from Clinical diagnoses you will be instructed as to what to do. I suggest you follow the doctors instructions, which I will assume will include talk therapy with a psychologist.

This is a good thing for talking with a psychologist allows you to get anything and everything that may be bothering you off your chest in a safe and secure manner. At 16 years of age any and all visits to both your doctor and the psychologist are confidential. No one not even your parents can have access to these records with out your written permission.

This is guaranteed in a federal law called HIPPA. Anything you say or are treated for in your doctors visit or in therapy stays between you and your doctor. They will explain this to you more fully if you ask.

My advice is to go see your doctor. Tell him or her what you have written to us and asked to be screened for depression. Then follow the advice you are given. Depression hurts but you do not have too.

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I have a question about points on my license. I've consulted Google, but I can't find the answer.

I've been pulled over three times. Twice in New Mexico and once in Arizona.

I got one ticket in New Mexico where I have a permanent residence, and one ticket in Arizona where I go to college.

The ticket in New Mexico was last December and the cop didn't mention any points on my license. Do they have to mention that?

When I got pulled over this past week in Arizona the cop said I would have three points on my license unless I did a four hour online driving class.

So I guess my question is, if I had gotten points on my license in NM would he have told me? And do points from different states combine?

Or do they stay separate? If I have no points in New Mexico and I went back and got another ticket during a holiday break, would they be added to my AZ points?

Thank you!!

Also, do these things show up in pre-employment background checks?

The only way to truly answer this question is to do one of two things. Go to a New Mexico DMV location and get a print out of your licence history file. You are entitled to this information for which there is usually a nominal fee.

On this history there will be a record of all traffic tickets, accidents and points assessed to your license. You could get just the answer to your question by calling the DMV in New Mexico and asking if Arizona or any other of the surrounding states report traffic violations to them.

As a general rule most adjoining states do report to each other on many things, traffic violations being one of them. I live on the east coast which is much more urban than New Mexico and there is a lot of cross border traffic for employment and shopping. So they have good reason to report to each other. Still it is worth inquiring.

I do suggest the best thing to do is to get a copy of your driving record. As I said the cost is nominal and you know for sure whats on it. Your Insurance Company requests a copy on a regular bases so it is always a good idea to have your own copy in case they make a mistake in setting your rates based on your driving record.

As to background checks. If you are going to be driving a company vehicle, then yes they will request you supply a copy of your driving record. As a general rule since driving convictions are misdemeanors they generally do not show up on a criminal background check. Your driving record is one of those privileged documents for which only those parties who have need to know may have access. A future employer does not have a right to know and is why they would ask you to supply a copy to them.

I hope this helps.

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I'm a college freshman- I got here a few weeks ago. It's been great except my roomates (im in a triple) are a bit crazy. They drink 5 days of the week, do drugs, and constantly hook up with random people at parties. One of them had sex with a random person the day she moved in. Anyway, I became really good friends with this guy and we ended up hooking up- then we turned into a "thing"- we were always together, talked about everything, and really cared about each other. I went away last weekend and when I came back i found out my roommate (the one who has sex with anything that moves) got drunk and slept with my friend that i almost freaking love! She lied and said they kissed but everyone on my floor knew, and I ended up finding out. He's pretty torn up about it and feels awful, and she doesn't seem to be affected. I cry all of the time and am so hurt and don't even want to look at her face- I can't stay away from him though, because I want to be his friend so bad. We keep having these really intense conversations about how im so devastated and hurt and he apologizes and we both just are so upset. And then he hangs out with my roommate and my friends right in front of me, and then goes into my room to chill just with my roommates. I don't know if he cares of if he doesnt- he only came to talk to me after one of his friends saw me crying and told him. He said to talk to him when I'm ready to "talk" but i keep saying everything i feel and nothing seems to help myself or the situation. I'm so mad at my roommate I can't even go into my room because i dont want to see her. I dont know how to cope or handle the situation. Please help?

It has been way to many years since my college days so I will stick with what the other advisers have told you as good advice.

I will add that you do have grounds, not the sex so much, but the drugs & booze for requesting a change of room assignments. Talk to the dorm assistant to see if there is an available room in your dorm you can move to or if a room in another dorm is available.

Actually your roommate(s) sexual promiscuity and drinking are reasons to request a new room assignment. Check your dorm handbook to see what it says about visitors of the opposite sex in the dorm rooms. Drugs are never acceptable and under age drinking, if that is the case has a zero tolerance in all schools of higher learning today.

Any or all of this has to affect your ability to study. So either you get to change rooms or they get to find someplace off campus to live as they are the ones violating dorm and school policy with the drugs and booze.

I know you don't want to be the one to turn them in. Though you or your parents are paying a lot of money for your education. If their moral standards are such that it effects your ability to take advantage of what you are paying for? You have every right to complain.

If you have student loans out for your education you will be paying for this education for as the next 20 years. Do you not think you have every right to get the most out of what you are paying for?

Think about what I have written, then do what you feel is right.



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Hi all, I have been married for 8 yrs to a man that has been hospitalized on and off during this time due to high blood pressure and now kidney failure.He has recently gone back to hospital after not following up medical advice.So this is the thing that l am trying to understand whenever he is admitted to hospital which can sometimes be for up to 2 weeks he never calls to let me now how he is physically or how he is feeling nor me for that matter. When ever l call to speak to him l am put on the phone to a nurse either saying he is not in bed or asleep this has been going on for years we also have 3 children under 7 yrs of age so as his wife l am feeling in the dark we have both discussed this and he just rolls his eyes and walks away. l am so tired of this. Am l wrong to feel this way ? And what do you feel is going on with him Any advice would be great thank you.

I cannot really pinpoint the exact reason why your husband acts as he does. There could be many reasons for this. He could be ashamed that once again he is in the hospital because he failed to follow doctors orders. He could feel he is less of a man because of his illness. The medical problems he is suffering from could cause him to be depressed.

One of the problems you are facing in getting information is caused by a Federal Law called HIPPA. The Health Information Personal Privacy Act. Even though you are his wife, his personal health information is private and confidential. You are not privileged to this information without his written consent. All the nurses or doctors can say to you is what you have been hearing.

What you need to do for both of you is when he is home is to see a lawyer and have living will drawn up. This will spells out exactly what you expect in a situation such as your husband faced with his kidney failure, if he is unable to speak for himself. You also need to have Medical Powers of Attorneys drawn upon which gives each of you, if you so desire, to speak for each other and to have access to each others medical information.

Last but not least speak with the attorney about medical advocacy and if that too is required should either of you be hospitalized. If so have the attorney draw up this document up as well.

Have copies of these documents placed in your husbands file at the hospital he is admitted too. Keep copies at home readily available to take with you. Should an ambulance transport be needed a copy of the living will should be provided to the Paramedics if possible. Without one they are forced to follow the protocols in place for your state of residence.

I know this all sounds very sterile and very last resort. But this is the law. I've answered many calls for medical help and I recently lost a good friend who's wife will no longer talk to me because they didn't take the advice I have just given to you. When he was admitted to the hospital and later to Hospice he assigned me as his advocate and gave me medical power of attorney by phone with 2 witnesses in attendance.

There was a reason for this as his wife was also hospitalized with a heart attack at the time. She was eventually released. But without the legal paperwork I am recommending. Even with my verbal permission to release her husbands medical information to her; she was told she had to call me to get that information.

So while I cannot truly answer your question as to why your husband is this way. What I have done is give you a way to get the medical information you need to help your husband for the next time. If you can't convince him before then to be screened for depression, ask that he be screened for depression when next he is hospitalized. You will or should have that authority either with the medical power of attorney or as his medical advocate; depending on the laws of your state.

You need to see a good family practice lawyer for this.

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F17
It's been a while sense I had sweaty hands but it only seems to happen when I feel this pain on my stomach it's like pressure I aways use gum and mints to calm me down and it works but it only lasts a little because I get sick of the chewing but its like a presure that I could sometimes control by puting less force on my musles or taking air.. Any advice is great thanks!(:

I agree with flare, this is something you need to speak to a doctor about. We all feel pain differently and sweaty hands and stomach pain are two symptoms together that are not very good.

We are also no9t doctors so this is nothing more than a wild ass guess on my part. You mention "calming down." This would make me think of panic attacks, which are also not good and needs to be properly treated.

Panic attacks that are severe enough can cause you to pass out. So whether you are suffering from panic attacks or something else you need to see a doctor and get whatever it is under control for your own well being and safety.

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Hello. I read your advice you gave to someone about suicide. You told them they should go find a job because they had a hard time finding one after 6 months. You told them they should go to wal mart and mc Donald's. You do not understand wal mart and mc Donald's are not hiring either. I am doing to commit suicide too.

If you are thinking of committing suicide because you can't find a job,. I don't see this as a reason to do so. This is something that is correctable. Suicide is a final solution that leaves behind it a lot of hurt for your loved ones.

I would like you to call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. They are far better trained to help you then any of us.

You are not alone in searching for a job. Unfortunately it is a buyers market so to speak. Today college graduates are settling for jobs that use to go to high school graduates. The jobs at McDonald's and Wal Mart's. Many High School graduates are doing day labor, the jobs that were going to undocumented immigrants.

I do know that finding a job right now is not easy, but they can be found. It is a numbers game, meaning the more applications you put in the better your chances are. You also need to get up early and be standing at the door of the company when the human resources open. This is what they want to to see, eagerness. The person that shows up late in the afternoon, their applications are generally ignored.

So call the hotline. Get up early and be first in line to apply for a job. While your waiting if all you have is a high school diploma. Use your local community college to obtain an AA Degree. A Degree, even an AA from a community college increases you chances of employment. Showing you are enrolled in school also increases you chances of employment.

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hello internet,im a 13 year old girl and im bisexual.yes im sure,and im proud.ive always liked girls,but guys are attractive to me as well.my parents are divorced,and my mom is bisexual as well but never really dates or has sex with women.my dads a racist anti-gay kinda guy.only 2 people know,by bff who is also bi,and my friend who ive known forever.do not want to come out for a while.but my mom has obviusly thought i am gay before,and in a way i am.shes had her suspicians,and vervbalized them to mke in a delicate manner,and now i dont know if i should tell her or what soon.how can i bring this up?shes accepting as anyone i know,but still hard to talk to.i live in an anti gay town where it is NOT acceptable whatsoever.how should i bring this up?how can i ask anyone out if i love both sexes?how akward can i get??????

Sweetheart don't label yourself at such an early age it will only hurt you , physically as well as mentally.

You are only 13 you are just now becoming sexually aware of yourself and your sexual feelings. It is normal at your age to feel affection for both sexes. You are experiencing puberty at its fullest at this time. With all new hormones raging in you. Your body does not know how to control or even interpret some of the signals it is getting being caused by these hormones. This is all part of being 13 and your teenage years.

As you get older you will gain control over your hormones. You may be bi or even gay. There is nothing wrong with that. What the problem is to come out and declare yourself without ever having allowed yourself to actually engage in the activity is wrong and hurtful to you. It is harmful because your friends will not understand and you can be come the subject of ridicule or worse physical harm.

You are way to young to engage in any sort of physical sexual activity. So to actually try and find out just what your sexual preference and true sexuality is. Is something that needs to wait a few years. Both you and your body need to do a lot more maturing before you engage in actual sex.

Your teenage years are the time where you find out who you are. Who you are as a person and who you are sexually. There is a road map so to speak that one follows to get to adulthood and you are trying to find a short cut. Don't do this as you are doing yourself a great disservice. Don't try to grow up before your time. Your teenage years are a time for fun and exploration, this includes finding yourself. Taking a short cut is way to important for your future life to miss out on this time.

My advice is relax and give yourself time to be a teenager. At all costs avoid labels as they tend to stick and be harmful

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Hi, i believe im struggling with depression. i think i've had this for about 2 years now.
when i was younger i used to tell myself that i will never smoke and i didn't understand why people smoke such stinky stuff. however tonight, i just smoked 3 cigarettes in one sitting by myself. and now im craving for another.
i have trouble sleeping at night and during the day, i refuse to wake up and go out of the house. i've become a recluse and im missing classes.
a while ago, a friend slept over at my house and i guess she was trying to make small talks so she asked 'tell me your happy memories'. such a simple question, but i just stared at her and couldnt even get a word out. when she fell asleep a while later, i went out of the house and cried.
i have nights when i will just cry unconsolably. i'll just listen to slow songs, switch off my lights and lay on the floor in total darkness and cry.
fortunately, i've never contemplated suicide. not once. but when i see cars, i imagine them hitting me and that thought makes me happy? im not sure if that is suicidal thoughts, but i always think that if an accident were to happen to me, i would be fine with it.
i think that i do have depression at this moment, but i've never asked for help. i dont think my friends here know that i have these moments. i know i should ask for help or ask people what to do, but for some reason my pride or ego or whatever stops me.
in my college, there is a counselling service, but it requires you to make an appointment due 2 weeks later. i've applied for it tons of times, but by the time 2 weeks have come by, i will usually have talked myself into not having depression etc.
i know why im struggling with this, and i know what i need to do, but for some reason, i just cant muster the will to do anything.
thank you for reading this. i just need someone to tell me that i am strong enough to hang on and im okay.

You don't talk yourself out of being depressed. You talk yourself out of seeking help.

I'm not a doctor but I am someone who is in recovery from depression so I know what depression feels like. Statistically one in three or one in four of us, depending on which study you look at, suffers from some form of depression. The most common form is clinical depression, the one you most likely suffer from.

Clinical Depression is not a mental illness as it is a lack of an enzyme much like a diabetic lacks insulin that is the cause of the depression. This missing enzyme or hormone to be more correct helps you control mood. When it is missing or not in sufficient quantity you can suffer from depression. Part of this is also triggered by stress. Stress causes depression and depression causes stress. A vicious circle you are not physically prepared to handle. Nothing to be or you should be embarrassed about.

I am not a doctor what I have written I learned in therapy for my depression. A doctor generally a psychiatrist, as they are the doctors best trained to deal with this and a psychologist for therapy are the two doctors you need to get over your depression. The Psychiatrist will prescribe the proper hormone replacement and monitor you medically while the psychologist works with you to find the cause of your stress and help you deal with it better.

Once the medication takes hold you will start to see things more clearly and the psychologist will be able to work with you and help you deal with the stress better. If this is your first depressive episode the medication may only be needed for a year until you learn to deal with the stress and your body is manufacturing sufficient amounts of hormones for you.

My advice is to make and keep a clinic appointment. Be screened for depression. This is the only way you can truly be diagnosed. Once you are diagnosed follow the doctors instructions.

Being in college is very stressful. You are not the first, you are not the only one and you will not be the last student to suffer from depression. Depression, especially clinical depression does not mean you are crazy. Far from it. You are just really stressed out and you need help dealing with it so get the help that is their for you and enjoy your college life.

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my boyfriend and I have that intimate foreplay,he put me into the top of his body,his penis shove into my vagina without put it in inside,untill we both reach the climax.is it possible for me of getting pregnant?

Frankly if you do not know the answer to this question then you are too young to be having sex of any type.

Anytime a boys penis is inside your vagina, even if not fully penetrating you. Even if he does not climax inside of you, his precum can make you pregnant. If he climaxes, the force of his ejaculation can and will shoot high enough in your vagina to, if everything else is right, start the process to impregnate you.

If you know how to knit you might want to start knitting booty's as the chances are excellent that you could have gotten pregnant. If this has happened with in the last 72 hours you might want to try the plan "B" pill or even in the last week. The plan "B" pill becomes less effective after 48 hours but has been known to work for as much as a week after intercourse. If your 14 or older you should be able to ask for it if it is not on display at your local pharmacy.

If you are 14 or older and are not pregnant and wish to continue this type of sex play? You should talk to your Gynecologist about going on birth control. Being 14 or older puts you under a federal law which allows you seek medical advice and treatment for your reproductive health without parental permission. This would include requesting birth control medication. The law is known as HIPPA.

If you are not old enough to truly understand all the risks of this type of sex play than I would rather you abstain from this type of sex play. The boy has all the pleasure and none of the risks. He is not the one that has to tell his parents he is pregnant. He is not the one that has to go through 9 months of pregnancy or raise the child if that is what you chose. So don't be pressured by the boy to do something this risky. IF you do this willingly then get on birth control or us a condom.

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I am feeling so lonely , all of my friends are boring and they ignore me for no reason .. i just need to make new friends .....but i just cant find

AdviseMistress is right in the advice she has given. I will expand upon it as it is very much the same advised I give when asked this question.

I came up with the method I am about to explain to you when I was much younger. My family moved around a lot and I developed this way of finding and making friends as I needed too out of necessity. I didn't know it then but I do now that the reason this works is that the key to making friends is having something in common. When your the new kid on the block this is a big help. You may not be the new kid on the block but having something in common with someone is still the great icebreaker to forming a new friendship.

Sit down with pen and paper and make a list of all the things you enjoy doing. Include sports, religious activity, hobbies,camping, hiking, any particular classes you may enjoy and even things like cooking and baking. I happen to now enjoy cooking and have made a lot of friends through the exchange of recipes, both male and female friends.

Once you have your list together number them in order of there most interest or popularity to you. Then sit down with the school newspaper and your local weekly news paper and look for clubs and activities for your age group for your top 5 to 10 interests.

Once you have a few clubs or activities of interest attend a few meetings and participate in some activities. Most clubs will allow you to participate in several meetings before asking you to join to make sure you and the club are a good fit. These clubs and activities are things you have knowledge and interests in. Something you can hold a knowledgeable conversation in or ask people to help you learn more about the subject or activity. This is the foundation of a budding friendship as you get to know someone a friendship can be built.

Having something in common with someone is key in any relationship. Be it friendship or romance. As the saying goes beauty is only skin deep. One day you actually have to speak to one another and if their is nothing in common to speak about the friendship or romance whithers and dies.

I know what I am suggesting sounds strange. I also know it works and have made this recommendation hundreds of time here to others. No one has written back to say it didn'two and it has worked for me. It will work for you. Like anything else we do friendships take effort. My advice is the beginning of the effort.

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