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Suppressing my personality
I am 16, i used to be a funny, cool guy that everyone liked. i started getting made fun of alot back when i was like 13 and 14, and it really messed me up. I care so much about what someone is gonna say if i say something funny or what comment i made. I have become so insecure, and i really have lost my old personality. Iv never felt shy in group situations , but after getting fucked with so much i feel super vulnerable to everything someone says to me. Now there are times when my outgoing,confident, fun personality comes out, and i seriously love it. But after 10- 15 minutes, i start thinking too much and start supressing my personality again, leading to insecurity and depression. If anyone knows any type of guide or hypnosis or whatever, im willing to try it. But im just tired of this and i want to feel free and open again, I feel locked inside of my mind
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What stands out for me is the word depression. Depression is a circular type of thing. Depression causes pain, be it emotional or physical. Pain causes depression. Trying to break the cycle is the hard part and is what is the greatest portion of your problem.
Now I am old enough to be your grandfather so some grandfatherly advice is in order here. It is not unusual for someone of your age to feel depressed and as they say crawl inside themselves. Breaking the cycle of depression takes more than hypnosis or over the counter medication. It takes talking with a professional therapist to help you understand the cause of your depression and properly deal with it. What you think is the cause may not actually be the cause. There are many different stressors that can trigger depression.
The first thing you need to do is to find out if you are actually suffering from teenage depression. Yes the actually have a clinical diagnoses for it. Teenage depression is a form of clinical depression and no you are not mentally ill or crazy. In fact you are probably more sane than your friends and worry to much placing yourself under needles stress.
To find out if you are clinically depressed takes a visit to your doctor. It is painless as the doctor will ask you a number of questions. Being your doctor he or she may also want to do a complete physical to make sure nothing organic is bothering you. Should your doctor decide you are suffering from Clinical diagnoses you will be instructed as to what to do. I suggest you follow the doctors instructions, which I will assume will include talk therapy with a psychologist.
This is a good thing for talking with a psychologist allows you to get anything and everything that may be bothering you off your chest in a safe and secure manner. At 16 years of age any and all visits to both your doctor and the psychologist are confidential. No one not even your parents can have access to these records with out your written permission.
This is guaranteed in a federal law called HIPPA. Anything you say or are treated for in your doctors visit or in therapy stays between you and your doctor. They will explain this to you more fully if you ask.
My advice is to go see your doctor. Tell him or her what you have written to us and asked to be screened for depression. Then follow the advice you are given. Depression hurts but you do not have too.
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Ok I might be a girl but I have been there. Trust me you need to fake it until you make it. And trust me I get made fun of a lot I laugh it off. You need to try to stop thinking about what they say honestly because if you let it go they will stop. Confident you is what people like and a smile goes a long way. Trust me trust yourself and the reason they bullied you was because they were jealous. And if I were you I would have turned the joke around on them. Cause they sound like jerks. And real friends stick by you for all your quarks so you can be yourself easily around them.
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Ive been in your situation before and i was pretty shy but then there are somedays where i say fuck it and i just do me, try and find a girlfriend to express your love too publicly then you might become less shy, im telling you this because this is what happend to me, you start not caring what other people think once you got a person that can distract you, and if it dosent work try slowly gaining in that outgoing side like start talking and keeping your friends at your side, it all takes time but the one thing you should try and avoid is like showing every one you shy because then you might be lables as that, so try and be outgoing fuck what anyone says, just give it a shot.
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