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Should I take my thirteen year old daughter to visit her mother in prison?
her mother is going to prison for a year for a forgery charge. I wonder once she goes if I should take my 13 year old daughter to visit her, but I am not sure I want my daughter to be inside a prison environment
it has nothing to do with her mother, she made some stupid mistakes but she is not a bad person nor was she a bad parent to my child, but it is the envioronment I wonder about
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This is one of those situations where you and your wife must first decide if this is something you both want.
Then you need to sit down with your daughter and discuss with her about going to visit her mother. At 13 she is much more worldly then we were at that age but she is still emotionally at a very tender age. I'm sure she knows why her mom is in jail. She may have her own feelings as to whether or not she wants to visit her mom. She should not be forced to. She should also not be kept from visiting her mom if she truly wants to visit.
The key here is for you to decide if she truly wants to visit, if she feels obligated to visit or if she has some other reason for visiting her mom. This for you will be the hard part.
I would suggest you consider you both seeing a psychologist to help both of you in this area. I'm sure you both have some issues with what your wife has done. The psychologist can help you both in dealing with them as well as help you decide what is in the best interest of your daughter as far as visiting her mother.
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Personally, I think it's a great learning experience. Your daughter is at a perfect age to learn some lessons about consequences.
I'm assuming your wife isn't being kept in a maximum security prison, so she won't be in with a really scary crowd. While it will be upsetting to see her mother in jail, it will really hit home the fact that you can't get away with even seemingly minor crimes. It would probably be more damaging to keep her from her mother for a year.
Keep in mind that they won't have you guys mingling with the general population or hanging out in a cell. It will be a safe environment, and you'd miss out on seeing a lot of the bad stuff.
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I agree 13 is a sensitive age but it's maybe too old to be have things kept from her. Maybe you could arrange a visit, and tell her in advance about the environment she's going to encounter. You could explain the differences between crime and violent crime against another person. As you said, she's not a bad person or bad mother. It might impress on your daughter the whole crime/punishment set-up if she sees it for herself too, which would be a positive thing. True it's not a pleasant environment, but it is a controlled environment so there's no chance of physical harm of course. In my opinion I'd say young people more often resent the things you didn't do/tell them than the things you did when they look back.
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I probably wouldnt. Thinking about how i would feel at age 13 seeing my mom in jail would be pretty confusing and scarring. Its a pretty sensitive age and it would be best to wait. If she was 16 or so, then she can understand everything. 13 is not a good age for that.
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I'm a little confused as to the relationship between you and the girl. First you say her mother and then you say your daughter. Are you talking about the same person?
Also, I personally believe that regardless of situation, any child would want to see their mother. It's any human's maternal instinct to want to know and be close to their mother. And when it comes to visiting, I'm almost sure they do not place visitors with the people of the jail.
You should call the jail ahead of time and ask what the arrangement is like. I'm sure if you explained yourself, they would understand and let you know what the situation is.
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