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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I am a 22 yr. old female who lives on her own in the US. I rent and live with my boyfriend of three and a half years. The guy I’ve been with has put me through hell in the last three years we have been together but I stuck by his side fearing that I would be alone. He has abandoned me several times even on our anniversary and I know deep down I deserve better. I go to school PT and I work FT. To give you a vague idea of what life has been like for me, I do everything- tend to his needs, clean up after him because he won’t clean up at all, buy all the food, he treats me poorly- has no consideration for my feelings at all, doesn’t acknowledge anything that I do, is jealous that I’ve got a better job than him, refuses to work FT, won’t help out at all around the house without complaining about it, he has no interest completing his college education, and now he’s asking his job to cut back his hours so he can play card games all day. I’ve asked him nicely to pursue counseling, offered to pursue counseling with him as a couple, and he is being stubborn about it. He thinks he doesn’t need it at all. He has been talking lately about quitting his job because he doesn’t want to be work for retail all his life, and recently, dropped the only class he was taking at college. He has Asperger’s so he sees the world a bit differently than you and I, but I’ll be damned, he’s very manipulative and super quick to create conflict if things do not go his way.
That said, I’m in a pickle and I’m growing very unhappy with him. My heart genuinely loves and cares about him and his overall well being but am I in love with him? I don’t think so. We don’t connect like we used to, I am not attracted to him anymore (been over a year since we’ve done anything sexual), and I do a lot of things on my own. I feel like he’s my child literally. Because his name is on the lease, I am reluctant to say how I really feel because I am worried it would create a mess of problems that I do not need at this time. I have been saving up for a down-payment on a house of my own and I’m very close to being able to get one. My goal is to drop him when the lease is up if things do not get better.
As silly as it is going to sound, I think I have found someone who I really enjoy talking to. I met him through eBay of all the places but we immediately clicked. We like almost all of the same things and we can talk non-stop for six hours. We have so much to relate to it isn’t even funny. He is attractive, a bit older, and he happens to live in Arkansas, which is very far away from New York, but I guess it could be worse. We are discussing meeting sometime this year presumably if all goes well. He seems like my other half and I get very giddy when I hear from him (sometimes anyway). Although I don’t know him as well as I would like to, I do have a strong gravitation towards this person and I’m not fully sure why exactly. Maybe it is because we are so alike. He is a college graduate and has been a dept manager at a retail store for five years. He was studying graphic design and has even done a few book covers for local authors. I find it impressive that he has done so much at his age. If you believe in Astrology, his sign is Gemini (air) and I am Leo (fire), it says we are highly compatible. He is highly skilled in many areas including photography and art. I could go on and on about how wonderful this guy is but I’ll stop it right there.
Anyways, I told him my disposition with my boyfriend a few months back and recently told him how I started feeling about him. I was scared to bring the topic up mainly because I wasn’t sure if he felt the same way but I also did not want there to be a relationship between him & I- at least not until I have successfully ended the relationship I am currently in and after he and I have met in person first. The more I have talked to him, the more I feel like I am falling for this person, but I will say this feeling comes and goes and fades away when he isn’t talking to me as much. I think I take it personal or something, assuming it’ll never happen and that he is not interested anymore. It sucks having a pessimistic mind. There have been spouts where this person just disappears for days and I grow concerned, I don’t understand why it happens and when I try to reach out, I don’t get any response back. He tells me there is something there for me but has forgotten the feeling of love. If you are genuinely interested in someone, you don’t do that to the person who has feelings for you.
Maybe my thinking is off or I’m taking way too much to heart so soon when I hardly even know this person. It has been a while since he has been in a relationship and while he has forgotten the feeling, what do you think this feeling could be? Did he just say that because he did not know what to say? Anyways, I can understand being busy but at least tell the person you are interested in or who is interested in you what is going on in your life so they know you are OK. If I stop talking to him, he does try to initiate conversations which confuse me. It seems the more attention I give him the more he runs away but the less I give, the more he comes back for more. He will on occasion send me text messages in the morning or call randomly to chat. And no matter how much that guy is on my mind or not, I do dream of meeting him when I am asleep even if he hasn’t been on my mind at all. I sometimes smile myself to sleep when I’ve talked to him and had a great conversation. But in these dreams, I am subconsciously trying to hide it away from my current relationship. I guess the conscious is playing a part. I’ve had maybe 2 or 3 dreams where I’ve come close to telling the person I am with now about this guy. I don’t believe in cheating and that is why I am stuck, I can’t move on until the relationship I am with is done entirely, but it seems I’ve felt alone for so long my heart is ready to love again. I’m worried of the situation altogether backfiring. I don’t know what to do. Do I have genuine feelings for this guy? Is this just a crush? Will it subside? Am I a complete nut-case? Am I putting things in my head that should not be there? Should I just stop talking to this person or view him more as a friend? What would you do in my shoes?
I'd have to agree that the fear of being alone is likely behind being where you are at with relationships. I am not a professional in psychology either, all I can do is share out of life experience or the stories of experiences of people I know. When there is a fear of being alone, we are likely to put up with just about anything and everything and we become willing to settle for less. I did that. It wasn't until I grew secure with myself and came to a place where being by myself (in my mind at least) was preferable to being with a guy who did not love me in return and treat me as such. The way you're being treated is not coming out of love.
As for meeting someone long distance, I do like the internet as a tool to come to know of the existence of a person, its how I met my 2nd husband, but through going the dating thing on line for a while before I found him, I realized, the longer you nurture a relationship on line without it being taken into the real world meeting face to face, theres a great chance of it becoming more fantasy and imaginings than what it really is. OUr minds try to fill in the things we don't know from not being 'in-person' with someone. So if you plan to meet the ebay guy, I would vote for sooner than later to either confirm or cross him off your list. I understand wanting to get into a house and wanting to avoid having to find another place to live. When between a rock and a hard place as you are, most people who choose to put up with life as it is just to get to the point of having a house. You have to decide for yourself if it's worth it.
I was in such a place, a hard place. Not earning enough to support myself on my own so I put up with an abusive husband for years. When I looked for help, theres only some basic's covered for physically abused women, not the emotionally and verbally abused as myself. So I had to want something better for myself. And fight to make it happen on my own. Its not easy. For you though, thankfully you're not married to the guy, it will be easier to make a break away when you decide to do so.
Be careful when that time comes to not jump from the frying pan into the fire. Desperation for another partner make cause you to commit before you thoroughly check out a guy. If you decide your problem is not being able to recognize basic character flaws and shortcomings in a man before getting too far into a relationship, then you might try to study that. Read about dating advice.
Work on yourself too to become more self confident. You may be confident. I think you are, but the compromises you make might make you seem low self confident to people and that has a possibility of attracting a lower than ideal guy to you.
This next piece is from male dating experts trying to help women:
The men worth having are attracted to women who know what they want in a guy and make sure the guy knows it clearly and will not put up with anything that doesnt meet their clearly defined boundaries and rules. I became like that. I caught lots of flack from immature guys who were upset with my criteria list for a guy to even bother to write to me. But it paid off in the end.
Good luck dear.
My boyfriend and I have been thinking about joining a live cam website to let others watch us do it. What are the pros and cons. What are some good websites. Or anything else you can think of. Thank you.
I don't think there would be any obvious pros unless (if you are of legal age) the two of you registered with a pay for live cam site. I have a friend, older single woman who has been on one and does make a little money here and there. I can't say how much in demand couples are on live but she had many requests asking if she had a partner and would perform with him on cam. Its against rules to use just anyone for a partner. Both must be registered, no matter what company you use. There are guys who get on who are looking for something very specific and go only after that. You can develop a regular customer base.
If you both have a craving for being exhibitionists, then you get to fulfill that and get feedback from some of the people.
As for the cons, whether with a pay for or free live cam, there's always the chance that some weirdo starts stalking you on line or the chance of running into someone in public who has seen you online. Can't say how likely it is. But my ex and I did register on a swinger site for couples. And one day at the grocery store, a couple came up to us, using our on line names and said they recognized us. This was not live cam, just a profile like a dating site.
So there's always the chance that remaining anonymous and keeping your privacy can be compromised accidently or by a stalker. You'd have to be careful to not share any info that a person could track you by.
If you are of legal age again, you can always check out a swing club. Some have a room set up where members can watch others doing it. Not all who go do actual swapping partners but go for the atmosphere and exhibitionism.
I'm driving myself litterally inane someone please help 16/f I overreact idk is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to other girls as friends and hangout with them on weekends if he's with his friends and his friends invite the girls? Or if he tweets them and was like had a great day wih you guys. I'm just such an over thinker and it's because I love him so much and we are very serious with each other. Also is it true that the newness of a relationship wears off after a couple months ? My mom said it did numerous times like all of the lovey dovey things wear off some because of getting used to each other please help me please thank you I do give stars
Adviceman gave a great answer, it's the same for me and hubby with each others friends.
Another support for your moms answer. I have heard it refered to as New Relationship Energy. From what I have experienced, with first husband, after it wore off, the ex and I were left with what we'd really have for a connection, we had no spark for each other at all and yet stayed together. I was young and dumb. I am remarried 5 yrs now. Yes there was NRE with my 2nd, but when it settled down to our normal love and sexual spark and desires, they were still high and it's a very good relationship.
Just don't want you to fear this change in the beginning of any relationship you experience in life. It is actually important, to know if there is something strong enough still there to last a life long relationship.
Are you an over thinker? If this is the only situation you think so much about and dont do it in other areas, then probably not.
Dating and relationships is new ground for you. There will be much you aren't sure about and mistakes made but hopefully lots of things learned too. So wondering and thinking it out and guessing at all the possibilities is quite normal. As you gain experience in life in this area of relationships, you won't find yourself worrying as much but trusting your own instincts.
I don't know how long you have been with this guy, but after a longer amount of time of knowing and observing him, it should become obvious whether he is naturally friendly and comfortable talking to people of any sex and whether when he talks to them, there is an intent to flirt or not. Trust me, if you observe, and combined with your own womens intuition, eventually you'll learn to pick up on things like that which can't be proven by evidence.
My husband is comfortable with speaking to women. He is an empath and able to pick up on when people need a friendly affirmation of some sort and will do so for men and females alike. Its just funny to watch him do it with females when I am there. He has a great interest in jewelery and precious stones and has an artist background. Often he might compliment a lady on her necklace, and address her by her name from tag and I had never seen women mistake his talking to them as flirting. Only one in our 5 yrs, she looked immediately uncomfortable and in fear glanced at me expecting me to explode in anger and jealousy. I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing at the poor womans tortured expression. Give it some more time and you should be able to see that he is naturally a friendly people person and there is no interest in the other girls.
The key here is that he is paying you plenty of attention at the same time. If that disappears totally, only then is there reason to be concerned.
Good luck.
I was in a car, my mother driving me to a baseball game, and we drove pass a black cat. It seemed to be about to cross my path, but when we crossed it, and it looked at me almost supprised, with these green eyes, DIRECTLY at me. I'm emphatic, and meditate never really practiced magic maybe 3 or 4 times, what doe this mean? Will I get good luck or bad luck?
Rainhorse is right about the superstitions regarding cats. A year ago I stumbled upon information that black cats used to be considered good luck and if you saw a white cat, it meant you'd encounter bad luck.
How much belief can you put on something where the meaning of it changes with the ages?
I personally believe in Omens or signs, but not a "one size fits all" type of sign. If something that crosses your path or you happen to see during your day is meaningful to you due to a past experience, then it applies, just to you, not anyone else.
Here's an example from my life. About 10 years ago, I had the experience of my spirit guide appear to me in my mind as I rested on a massage table. I had a conversation with him. He told me that I would soon meet a 2nd spirit guide. I wasn't even curious about or sure I believed in them until this experience. He said the 2nd one would leave his calling card with signs before he appeared to me.
One morning, our cat wanted to go out the front door, I opened it for her. And spotted 2 crow feathers laying on the welcome mat. I picked them up and noticed the cat hadnt gone out, She turned and ran to the back door now. So I opened that door and laying on the back porch was another crow feather. Got to my parking spot at work, and just where my foot was about to go as I exited my car was....you guessed it, another crow feather. That kept happening until my 2nd guide made himself known, the word Crow was in his name. Later I was told when I saw a crow feather or a crow appear or do something unusual in my presence, it meant my spirit guides were trying to get my attention, for me to clear my mind and focus, they had something to tell me.
If you have been looking into spells, witchcraft and omens or anything of pagan beliefs, you can ask questions of me. I started out in traditional churches and outgrew that construct spiritually. So when that time came, the Holy Spirit moved me on to study the similarities of christianity vs paganism. Christianity is modeled after Paganism but paganism includes many varieties of earth based beliefs, encompasses Witches or wiccans and Druids too. I believe and accept many other belief systems now. But feel most comfortable with being a solitary practioner in paganism, mostly due to my roots and start in Christianity. So if you ever have any other questions in this area, feel free to ask me dear.
My friend is in a relationship. The guy she is dating is telling people that they are just friends but I know that they arent. He asked her to be his girlfriend and I witnessed this happen. Should I tell her that he is telling people they arent dating or not? Age: 16
A lack of true interest in your gf was stated as a possible reason he is saying this.
I see another possibility. Teen boys have as little experience as you or her do at dating and relationships and therefore little self confidence in anything relating to the area could possibly be the issue here. It may not be the case, but if so could explain why he is saying this. It could well be he is terrified of the thought of your peers teasing him about it, especially if he's experienced other guys at the mercy of such teasing.
Telling your girlfriend, or how you tell her, might cause her to distrust him without knowing the real reason behind his actions and she may not bother to investigate and actually break it off with a guy who may end up being a really good boyfriend.
If you are going to talk to anyone at all, I would encourage you if you're close friends with the guy to approach him and ask him why if you witness him asking her to be his gf, that you have now witnessed him denying it. If he's afraid of what others will say or of teasing, Tell him its okay to feel that way cus teens can be cruel and merciless. If he is worried about this, encourage him to share this with your girlfriend and ask her what she thinks of both of them keeping their dating secret for now. Its something they should decide together. I know lots of teens do this. Good luck!
Hello I'm 14/f. I've gotten these bumps under my skin many times before but they keep coming back on my armpits. I told my mom and she said if they stay, she'll take my to the doctor but she say that about everything including my still going 24 day period. So I need to knowif anyone has experienced this before. They're about the size of a dollar coin and hurt quite a bit.
If I understand correctly, you have some lumps only in the underarm area where you would apply an anti perspirant/deodorant.
this happened to someone I knew. Their doctor told them that the sweat glands became blocked and infected. Usually its due to dead skin and oils for blockage. But this doctor told us that too much use of an antiperspirant will actually tell those pores to close up and if a gland is not allowed to normally sweat, it can become infected. Not all people react in this way to antiperspirants but some are reactive and susseptible to issues like this and need to discontinue use of antiperspirants, every brand. The only thing okay to use would be a deodorant that changes the offensive sweat smell to not being able to be smelled.
heres a link to read about it:
http://www.ehow.com/how_7366367_relieve-clogged-sweat-glands-armpit.html
There is a natural deodorant that my friend switched to immediately called 'Crystal". I switched at the time too to avoid having a problem once I realized how unhealthy it was to use a anti perspiring agent. This product works well, comes unscented or in a couple scents. Most drug stores carry this option as well as some grocery stores. If you have health food stores around, they would have it too.
But since you currently have the infection in the glands, you should see the doctor to see what if any treatment they have to give to heal the infection in the glands. There's a chance it could be something else but this is the most likely cause.
What I don't understand is if you are referring to this condition in the armpits having been around for 24 days or if at the same time you have a menses/period lasting that long.
If thats the case, in 14 yr olds, it is not uncommon to have wide variations in the period, lengths in between varying by days or months, and length of time shorter to longer like a month and flow from nothing but spotting to heavy flow. Its part of your body becoming used to the changes as you go through puberty if this is the case. You can be seen by a doctor to make sure all is normal but in most cases it is not necessary to treat with drugs like birth control drugs. Is the lumps in armpits related to the period irregularities? It could be...that I dont know as I am not a medical person. I could only tell you from experience what the lumps MIGHT be, and that irregularities in teen periods is actually quite common but there's always a chance there is something wrong. You should be seen by a doctor for both issues to rule out anything serious being wrong. Hopefully, it's just something minor.
really weird question i know, i love women 100%, i've only been with women, i prefer deep relationships and i love foreplay, every inch of the female body is amazing.
but if im out of a relationship and its been a year or two between sexual encounters on a few occasions being insanely alone i enjoy to put on a womens bra, stuff socks inside and masterbate, thinking of a girl just getting love whether with a man or female, i have no female qualities and very secure in the fact that i am a man but is this a fetish of loneliness? why do i do this? i feel guilty and disgusted afterwards but when im in the moment feeling what would be breast is amazing at times. I don't know, scared to talk about this so if you have nothing nice to say please don't say anything at all. i am 23
Please don't feel guilty or disgusted with yourself. The human being is very complex but also unique. Considering that the human brain is the biggest sexual organ we have, there will be a wide variation of what people will focus their thoughts and imaginations on that help add to their sexual excitement and sexual experience and help with orgasms too. What works for one will not work for another. So it isn't fair to label one tendency or fetish as normal and another as not. What may be normal to me may feel bizzare or extreme to another.
Don't let anyone tell you that you are bizarre or weird. Lots of the tendencies, sexual practices or fetishes aren't understood, can't be explained and there is no information or very little info on it, so therefore, since it seems unique, we could think we are bizarre or something.
I will use myself as an example. When I married my 2nd husband 5 yrs ago, shortly after we had an experience afterward I've never heard or read about anywhere. For a few moments during sex, I felt I had the penis and my husband the vagina. My mind felt it so real that I swore if we pulled apart I could look down and see I now had a penis. Not talking about a strap on. Just what my brain experienced. It was so real, and I trusted him so much I told him. Interestingly enough, he told me he had just felt the same thing, that he had the vagina just then. It is very powerful what the mind can do. And we enjoyed it much since then once we got past the strangeness of it. Now I can choose at any time to focus my thoughts and imagine I am the male while making love and not tell my husband and he can actually feel it the moment I do so in my thoughts. Our minds focus our energies and our realities that easily. Would a sex therapist or Doctor be able to show documentation that this is normal? Heck, I don't care, all I know is that we love it and enjoy it and it works for us.
I m from srilanka and here homosexual activities are illiegal and none talk about it openly. im 22 years old and im a girl. i found out im sexually attracted to girls one year ago, but i guess ive always been that. but im so attracted to boys emotionally. i love the way they treat me and their love. wherever i go guys get attracted to me too. should mention though lesbian im girlish in every way to the extreme. i luv to date a guy... but i dont want to cheat. i luv it if i can tell the truth and start a relation ship with a guy. but i study in a college and im scared if i say ds to a guy he ll spread all over and ill be bulleyed and treated in a bad way. im tired of ignoring guys when i also love them...:( and im very clear ill not be dating a girl even if i was in amarica..im not emotionally attracted to them, i can only think of them as friends..i feel very uncared and unloved right now...and please someone suggest me a solution.
I have heard of other women in the same spot exactly as you and confused by it.
I can only say from experience of knowing some women like that, it is normal and okay to feel both ways. I don't have a solution but I do have some explanation of your sexual/ emotional situation.
Here is how these women I've met explained it to me. They discovered over time that if a label must be used to describe themselves, they most closely could be called bisexual. This did not mean they wanted both men and women equally. They were sexually attracted to women. But they liked the emotional attachment of females, however these women were all married to a male. They found that they were able to find just one man only that they loved and had a sexual attraction to besides the emotional one. But beyond that, still had no interest in men sexually. They still desired women so they told their husbands who were all okay with it. She was privately seeking out females for friend and lover. In the U.S. you have the freedom by law regarding sexual orientation though some people may be prejudiced yet. If you don't have the law protecting these rights in your country, you may have to find a guy who is very supportive and understanding and okay with it and also the one man you are interested in sexually. That could be risky, revealing such a thing about yourself to a guy. So I have no idea what to tell you to do. all I know is that it is a slight possibility in your case that you may be able to find one guy that works for a marriage for you. Whether you ever do anything with a female on the side is something that is even harder. I have no advice what to do on that. I wish you the best dear.
I'm Catholic but I really can't stand the bible, it tries to destroy every last religion other than it's own, I have abilities like psychic and have done spells, and never regretted anything I've done (except a weather spell, never making that mistake again) yet the bible hates them, also they tell you to wear your hair a certain way, and dress a certain way, and not to have sex or masturbate. Also they dislike homosexuals and bis (bisexuals) but there's nothing bad about them!!!!!!!!!!!!! So your telling me that if a homosexual helps the poor and Unfourtanate her entire life, educated child Muslims and other religions with a bad background, being blamed of everything (via the bible, I mean when something bad happens, the Muslims are always blamed), worked for no money at hospitals and homeless shelters, Fed, and housed animals and children, saved them from abuse, they would still go to hell just because they are homosexual. The bible can't dictate everybody's life and stop happiness! If the bible was written different, the world would be a better place. The writers did a horrible job of teaching about God.
Advice man gave you good examples of why the Bible is inconsistant and seems so exclusive and either out dated or narrow minded.
I started out as a born again Christian. Chose to overlook all the inconsistancies.Later after some studies on my own and learning to really hear from God and use my Psychic abilities, I left the construct of organized religion. I still believe in God and try to model myself after what I believe God to be through my experiences. Because my experiences were things the church would say were evil, of the devil, etc...I felt I did not fit there anymore and silently left without them knowing why.
Yes, you and I will be part of a minority if hanging out in the church. But once I left and became more of a spiritual than religios person, I saw that there were indeed many others like me who do believe in God but are not church goers. So if you ever do decide you've had enough of the narrow mindedness, it won't be as hard a thing to take a different path. If you are not an adult and have parents taking you to church and they insist on it, then bide your time, continue to practice your giftings on your own.
Keep on being open minded and following what you believe in your heart is the right thing to do. Your example of homosexuals is a good one. They are Gods children every bit as much as we are. Christians only show love and acceptance if they think they can a person to see their way and accept their way of life and beliefs. Once they realise a person is going to continue to reject the Christian believers ways, the love stops. It was conditional love, love shown based on the condition that they accept the Christians stance on everything. Conditional love is not Godlike love. Only the unconditiional type is.
I was on my own little path already within the church, following the lead of Holy Spirit whom I now call Mother God, (if you ever want to hear the story and talk about your experiences, write me any time) Basically, my experiences were to get me to trust my connection with Mother God, more than the church doctrines, parts of the Bible contaminated by humans and church laws. I eventually got there. I am so sure of my connection to my creator/the divine that i never have a twinge of doubt.
There is nothing you can do to help other narrow minded believers understand things correctly. Its never been the duty of a Christian to point out the right way. Thats been the duty of the Holy Spirit when she knew the hearts of a person were ready. And perhaps they wouldn't be ready in this lifetime but in the next. There is no rush or hurry to believe. And trust me dear, there is no better teacher for you than the HOLY SPIRIT.
Just for the record, after leaving the church, I found I felt most comfortable amongst those called Pagans and Witches. These are not the witches the church would have you believe. Pagan as a word used to mean the "unchurched country folk" and simply meant they lived too far out in the country to travel to a town or city for church and as yet had not heard any of the Christian beliefs. It wasn't as much a belief that they were practicing evil beliefs. But people were more innocent and gullible in those times. So when the teachings of Hell, Devil and Damnation came to the simple earth based beliefs of country folk, some pretty strange rituals and beliefs came up from the mix of the two. In attending some pagan rituals, I began to witness many things familiar to me that I had seen practiced in church, just called by another name in pagan circles. When I studied books on Paganism vs Christianity, I discovered that they are indeed sister religions, Christianity being modeled after many aspects of what the pagans did in their major Sabbat celebrations in attempt to make Christianity more appealing and feeling more familiar to pagans and all those traditions in the church from original pagan origins are still with the church today.
Even the use of incense in the Catholic church is of Pagan origin. For pagans today, use of incense or a sage smudge stick is burnt as a way of focusing on the intent to let negative things and attitudesf fall away, be cleansed away as you begin a ceremony or attempt to meditate on your own. Now the church does it because its always been done but has no idea why they do it. Even the spells you may do are not too far a stretch from the prayers Christians do. Both involve the intent of the person. Pagans for the most part, at least the ones I am familiar with, use spells with positive, loving intent. I witnessed my church in a prayer gathering, chose to pray for bad things to happen to persons who wouldn't sell the property the church renting, to the church. Their intent behind what they were doing was wrong.
In spells, we use objects and rituals to merely help focus our intent. Its not a matter of God not answering prayer most times rather than a person unable to focus their intent. I have had more times I have been healed of a sickness when i asked for help of pagans than when I was in the church. Difference being that the Pagans understand the principles behind spells but also in the group you find those who accept things the church wouldnt touch or teach, healing energy through various methods, like Reiki, gong, or tibetan bowl etc sound therapy. Things I have seen for myself work but the church taught us to avoid.
So don't focus on whats wrong with the church but focus on your path and discovering many spiritual wonders you have yet to explore.
My parents have left me in charge at home while they are away of my sister 15 and brother 12.
Yesterday I caught my sister wearing a bikini(sliding triangle top and small side tying bottoms)that she is not supposed to have and taking SELFIES of herself in it, that she was going to send to the guy that bought the bikini for her that is nearly as old as me.
What do I do
1. Give her the bikini back, pretend I know nothing about it and possibly land myself in trouble if my parents find out about the bikini.
2. Keep the bikini give it to my parents on their return and tell them about the SELFIES and the guy, my sister will be in big trouble.
3. Give my sister a chance but insist the bikini is destroyed as part of the deal.
I was the oldest and always left in charge no matter what age my siblings were. As teens or pre teens it became more difficult to enforce any boundaries or family rules/laws that there were.
You did not mention if the parents have any rules regarding what the girls in the family can wear as appropriate sunning or swim wear. Since you are older, most likely they have already sharedd such limitations with you. If they did give you such a boundary regarding swimwear, then the same should apply to her. If 2 pieces is okay but no string bikini is okay...then there is a problem. If the parents never had to give you such a rule because you were smarter at that age, then they may not have ever said anything to her. That was often a case for me. I was the easy child so it never occured to them that the other children might do something that I knew full well they'd have issues with even though they hadn't spelled it out.
Since you say sis will be in big trouble, I am guessing there are some rules, whether its about what she wears, restrictions on who she can date or rules about not sending selfies of inappropriate nature or all 3. Since you are left in charge and its the parents job to discipline her, the only thing you can do is hold on to the bikini and her phone with the pics on them to give to and show parents. If you were a mom, wouldn't you want someone to tell you if your teen daughter were doing something like this?
Many teens do something in bad taste or really stupid that can hurt them, cause lots of trouble or even in extreme cases, kill them, all because their minds are still not fully done growing as their bodys are, the mind is not yet mature and so they're incapable of looking ahead to possible consequences and making good decisions. She may otherwise be a good kid but just making a bad decision here. So my choice is number 2, keep the bikini but also keep the cell phone cus she could erase the photos to stay out of trouble. She could try to explain away the bikini saying a girlfriend gave it to her and she didn't want to hurt her friends feelings so she accepted it and totally deny taking selfies to send to an older guy if the pics were gone.
I never liked having that position of being the enforcer of the rules while the parents were out. I know how upset the siblings can get with you but you don't drop the adhering to rules just to remain on a siblings good side. She'll be angry with you. It also won't last. Once she matures a bit if she does hold a grudge for now, she'll eventually see that you were doing the right thing. Good luck !
Recently i got a new teacher and i find him really odd(not sure if he is flirty). the way he talks to me is different. He stares at me while taking class. He even comes and sits near me if the desk is empty. And i usually sit in the first bench so he pulls his chair and puts it near my bench and sits. he also stares at me. Mostly i dont look at him i put my face down when he is near. He doesnt look at my face alone while teaching or clearing doubt. i feel very uncomfortable. even if i have doubt in the subject i feel uncomfortable to ask him. he is married and 30+.
He may not have done anything that he could be called on as being inappropriate for a teacher. So saying that he is flirting with you can't really be proven.
What I believe is happening is that your natural 'female's intuition' is kicking into gear. You may not have noticed it as much before but it can start when females go through puberty. The more mature and grounded a person a female is, she can notice this early in life. Males can have intuition but more often it's found in almost all of females at some point.
So what you are likely picking up on is his basic thought focus, his feelings and desires and picking up on the energy he is sending out. It is not anything that can be seen by another human, only picked up on and felt by something people call our 6th sense. It's quite normal to be able to pick up on things like this. If you are feeling things like this with him and no one else, then as Adviceman said, likely "where theres smoke, there is fire" meaning you are very likely to have picked up on this correctly.
You are safe in class. End of the year is soon. Just make sure to never allow yourself to be alone with him for a moment, such as if he asks you to stay after class so he can talk to you.
Very unlikely. But good thing to keep in mind.
Its also a good thing to talk to mom about since shes a female with intuition too. She'll understand and may have some words of suggestion for you.
Just so you know, your description of what he does do, creeped me out and I am in my fifties.
If I took a night class of any sort, even just for something fun and a male teacher did that to me, at my age, I can ignore the looks. After all, lots of men will look at females, just the good majority try not to get caught doing it, or try to be subtle about it. It's not a crime to look, and you can't control if he is fantasizing or turned on either. It's bad manners of him to blatantly look at you as he does, and thats enough to have a parent talk to the principal about to get you switched to another class (as has been already suggested although its close to end of year so they may not) Or if you are an adult, for you to go to administration about and ask to be switched.
Where I would draw the line is a man placing himself in my personal space. This is something humans subconsciously do when single and in the mode of searching for someone to date. We tend to use certain body language to determine if a person likes us. Boys your age have probably done this too...what I am talking about is walking up to you to stand really close or sit really close.
What is considered really close is if you or he could raise your arm and almost be able to touch each other. Thats being in someones personal space. When attracted, girls and guys will approach the person they like and if the person remains standing where they are, they are subconsciously attracted to you in return. If the person approached steps away or moves away to create more distance between themselves and the other person, then they are not attracted and feel uncomfortable. Stuck at your desk, you are unable to move further away from him when he approaches. He may not be aware that he is actually doing this since its a subconscious thing. But there are others who have studied the subject enough and are aware. If he is aware and doing this, he should be told to stop. If he's unaware, he needs to be made aware of it and be asked nicely to stop.
Since you do not know which of the two situations apply to him, you'd have to take the position of him 'not being aware' if you choose to speak up on this.
You don't have to say anything dear. But if you choose to at least say something to him next time he doesnt come into your personal space, here's a sample of what I would say.
Mr. Walker, I am sure you are unaware that you are doing this but often you come stand or sit really close to me in my personal space. I do not feel comfortable with you being that close. Could you please stop doing that?
Thats all you need to say. If he asks for clarification, you can say that too close is being almost able to touch your shoulder if he reached out an arm with a few inches gap. If he is well outside of that distance, he is not out of line and I would not say anything.
19/f
I know you've used online dating before as I've seen you answer some questions saying so.
I've been trying it out and I'm having a hard time. It's pretty overwhelming.
I was in a 3 year relationship, I really liked him beforehand as we were friends. But I feel like with online dating, you don't really get that friendship to build because they're looking at you as someone to be with. Which I get there is nothing wrong with it, but me and my ex didn't like each other for awhile while we were friends until a few months later. And even other guys I've met and became friends with and wasn't even attracted to them at first, I started liking them.
Is it just that online dating just isn't for me or am I doing something wrong? I find lots of guys attractive and I even have a date tonight.
How do you go about this? Like how do you do this the right way? I think I'm just thrown off a bit since I'm not used to it. Any advice would be appreciated though.
I like the fact that you have longevity in relationship going for you with 3 years in the last one. However if you are 19 now, you must have been near 16 starting that relationship. That would mean, in your lifetime, you have not yet had enough dating history of going out with enough different fairly mature guys to begin to form some idea's of what you like and don't like in personality traits, what turns you off in various behaviors and what things you like that you want to look for in the next guy.
Most people either don't know to pay attention to details like this, as was my case at your age, or they simply choose to not listen to advice. When I was 20, I married the first person I dated. If I had dated more guys, I was fairly intelligent and would have been able to make the comparisons pretty easily between the traits of one guy and the other and it would have been obvious then to me that the personality traits of the guy I married were very questionable. He wasn't all that terrible, just hiding lots of his true self from people, long enough...I didn't date him for 3 yrs like you did your guy. Had I done so, I would also have picked up on more things that were actually negative patterns just starting.
Back to you. Since you are asking, I know you are a very intelligent young lady, probably have more going for you than I did at your age. Time teaches you things. What I learned in life experience I applied to internet dating but that was when I was older, mid forties on. It was the point in time, last few years of marriage that the ex and I stayed together for the kids but it was over, like being separated but in the same house and we started dating others already at that point, before being divorced, an almost 3 yr period of dating while still married. Then there's the online dating I got more serious about after finally officially single again. I knew what I wanted in a guy from the casual dating I had done those few years and made a very detailed profile describing who I was hoping that it would attract the right guy. It soon became apparent that the majority of who I would attract is all the guys who dont read the profile, are desperate for a female and just responding cus they liked my photo. You will get that at any age dear.
So likely you aren't doing anything wrong. You might be able to improve your profile but that still doesn't cut out lots of duds from writing to you. I used the online dating because I eventually got serious and jotted down on a notepad all the things that I needed in a guy and wanted in a guy. I used two words: needs, wants. They are different. Your list should contain both. Start with the needs. This is something that is he can't meet this point on your list or tries and fails at it, it's a deal breaker, you dump him like a hot rock.
Example: You don't want guys who lose their temper easily or raise their voice to you and talk abusively to you. If a guy does it once but never again after you point it out, great...2nd chances are good for young males, they are still learning. If he changes immediately without complaint or grumbling and adjusts his treatment of you, then it was just that he needed to know the boundaries and limits, just like a parent sets for a small child. If it happens a 2nd time, it's a bad habit pattern already well set and most people hate change and are not likely to change. If you read carefully what I have written in past answers, you can not change another person, the want to change must come from within. So 2nd offense, he's out of your life. Sound harsh, but its actually very reasonable when it comes to your emotional, mental, physical health for the rest of your life with a partner. I don't think you want to remain single for too long, you want to have a meaningful partner, and the sooner you can find the one who ends up your life long partner, the better for you.
So thats an example of a must have in a mans behavior or personality. I will give you two that were big to me but may not be to others. I wanted someone who was spiritual but not religious, and someone who was my sexual equal. I didn't have either with the ex. Got a taste of it in the dating, but not to the extent that was important to me. I looked at it on a scale of one to five. 1. Doesnt have any of sexual similarities and likes to me,(ie how often, how long, wanting to pleasure the other first rather than seek self gratification first, fetishes in common if any...)
2. Has just one or two things okay on that point
3. Has half of what I need on that subject.
4. More than half of what I want.
5. Has it all, a perfect match.
I was only willing to settle for 5 on the 2 Needs on list. Had more needs than that tho on list.
Now difference between needs and wants. A want is like the icing on the cake. It would be wonderfull but isn't necessary. This is where some of our personal preferences come in. One on my list was finding a guy with long hair. If he was a 4 or 5 on almost everything but had short hair or a shaved scalp, I would still consider him. And I did indeed date guys in all 'hair' catagories. It was just my luck that the one who met 95% of my Needs, happened to have long hair, what can I say, I find that sexy on men. ;)
Make your list of what you need, what you want and make sure to not write it in the negative. Think of a bad trait you don't want in a guy and then find the word that is its opposite, the positive one to list as what you're looking for. Using the example of a guy who has a temper,instead you state you're looking for a guy who is calm, easy going, laid back. Someone like that does not yell and lose their temper.
If the dating site you are using doesnt have a place where you can state what you are looking for in a guy, in the portion where you describe your self, put down description of yourself and then put the next paragraph/section Titled, "What my ideal guy is like or What I am looking for in a guy".
It's equally important to put a good description of yourself. Using myself again for example, I loved being a mother, working with children and I loved gardening. Both require a 'Nurturing"' aspect to the character. I like crafts, singing, writing songs, poems stories. All that requires a 'creative' aspect. All you really have to do is look at how many guys describe themselves, where they went to school, where they have lived, where they have traveled to, to realize that none of that really tells you anything about themselves. The only reason for using on line dating is to narrow down the choices of who might be a good prospect.
There's always singles meet up's. I went to only one before I realized how much a waste of time it is. Some guys were there to have a female to talk to but were not interested in actually dating...this from adult men...who actually said so to my face. They were just there for the social event, not to find someone? I dont get it. Others found me attractive and started convo with me. I steered the convo to my criteria in Needs to match in us. I had been chatting for 20 min with one guy when I brought up religion. He began to ask me things on the subject. I answered truthfully and he reacted by calling me an unsaved heathen and said, "I want nothing to do with you. That unpleasant moment and the wasted 20 mins chatting with him could have been avoided on line if I read that he was a narrow minded Christian. I started Christian but have moved on to embrace the philosophy that all paths have some of the truth and so I feel most comfortable allowing others to believe what they wish and not try to change them or tell them they are wrong. You dont want to date a guy who is trying to "fix" your beliefs/in other words- - change you. Be able to accept the person as they are, assuming nothing will change. Are they good enough for you without any change?
Now about finding a guy attractive. We all are attracted first to looks. Some stop there. We need to be attracted to their personality, sense of humor, etc... If a guy professes to meet your criteria in a guy and says you are what he is looking for and you like what you read in his self description, then give the guy a chance if he is acceptable in the looks area. There were guys I would not date cus they looked like a younger version of my dad, or like a brother, or the ex. Thats a personal thing, something your subconscious is not going to be able to get over easy if at all. There were guys I found okay looking but I didn't really find myself going back over and over to their photos cus they looked so handsome. Pictures can lie. A person can look different than their photo too, keep that in mind. I think its fair to not find a guy really handsome and find yourself responding to his looks in the beginning. We have had our minds twisted by the media as to what is "good looking/model quality looks so we tend to screen out the rest. Once I had spent some quality time with a guy and I loved his personality, the person he was inside changed some of his looks on the outside in a way. I was reading his facial expressions as I was getting to know him better in person. So I paid more attention to the eyes, loved the color of them, and when animated, facial expressions add lots of character and sexiness to a guy, like the way his eyes crinkle when he's smiling or teasing, the masculine shape of a nose that won't show on photos. So I think you're perfectly normal in not finding some guys attractive until later.
I have rambled on quite a bit, not too organized here. If I misunderstood and you did not like something about their character until later and found you were attracted to that character trait at a later point...thats also normal. That is what i was talking about in experiencing enough different personalitys of guys in lots of dating to find what you like. So if you find you like something about one guy but the dating ends cus theres not enough spark/romance between you, write down these things on your list of what you're liking and look for it in the next guy.
If you ever have a prospect who looks promising but you're not sure about some things He writes, feel free to pass it by me, or ask for help on anything you come up against you're not sure about in online dating.
If you use it only as a tool to come to discover the existance of the guy and to weed through a great majority of frogs before you find your prince, then you're using it correctly. If you like what you see in a profile, trade numbers and talk asap. If in 2,3 days of talking you like how his mind works and no warning signs have come up yet, go for a meet in person thing asap. Take it out of the illusion of the internet and into real life. The longer you try to date and keep in touch via the pc instead of in person, a fantasy person is created by our minds and they may not be what we are looking for. He may have all the qualities but there's no attraction or sexual chemistry. Sorry this is so long. Maybe I should create a precise document to save with instructions in case anyone asks me the same question in the future. Good luck dear.
I'm 14 years old.I liked a boy that was 15 but as soon as he liked me back i stopped.So he stopped too.When i realized he stopped i liked him again.. so he did too and then again i stopped.He thought i was playing him but i really wasn't.This happens to me all the time and because of that now he hates me.He likes another girl now and i don't really wanna admit to myself that i like him because i know he will never like me again and if he does i will stop liking him.I played him for like 4-5months and i feel really bad now.I don't understand i even cried for him i thought that i really like him but i quess i didn't.This happened with my ex boyfriend too..What should i do.. i really want a boyfriend but as soon as they like me back i stop..Please help.
The only real obvious difference between having a girlfriend and a boyfriend is that with males, there is the romantic aspect of the relationship, and since you;re of an age that puberty has brought those normal feelings of finding attention from a guy special and exciting, thats all that is different.
When it comes to being in a relationship, it is just as important to have a guy be like a close friend or best friend, as it is for the girls who are your friends.
Do you have problems making friends with girls dear? Do you stop liking them the moment they like you? I hardly think so. How you become friends and stay friends with a girl should be the same way and for the same reasons with a guy.
Even adults who are single really need to do the same thing. Of course there should be that tingly special feeling and attraction to the opposite sex, but the friendship part is the other thing important to a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.
The problem is when two people get together only for the kissing and exploring their sexuality type stuff and they have nothing in common and are not good friends. The other problem is when a guy ends up friend zoned. They are really good at being best friends and have much in common and he likes the girl and is attracted to her but she is either afraid of being used for sex, and likes or loves him but doesnt realize it cus those feelings kinda snuck up on her later.
My guess is that something deep inside your mind is what you fear and this fear is causing you to sabotage any possible relationship. If you don't discover what you are afraid of, or if you know but choose to never deal with it, then you just may end up being an adult who never finds romance, marries and has kids. That is okay if thats what you want. But since you say you really want a boyfriend, I am guessing not.
Do you know why you want a boyfriend? Most teen girls want one cus its a social thing, they want to look like one of the bunch, doing the same thing. Because other girls have a boyfriend, they want one just to look cool, normal and feel they fit in better. Others want a boy at their side like an accessory, to look good. Like the shoes, or purse they have with an outfit, or the necklace they wear with a certain outfit. The fewest amount of girls at your age get it right and actually become friends with the guy and they develop strong feelings for each other. They respect each other and take things slow and never pressure each other for more than is appropriate at their age or what limits parents have set or ones personal comfortability and self set limits.
I can't help but think that you are afraid of not having control over any limits or boundaries in a relationship. If a guy likes you and you like him, its important to spend enough time hanging out with him to discover if you are not just attracted by looks but have things in common, and if your initial attraction to his looks fade and you feel no special chemistry to him. When you start out with a guy by telling him you like him, make sure he understands you like him enough to spend more time together to see if you will like him enough to spend more time with him, exclusively, thats another level of being 'boyfriend-girlfriend', dating relationship...where both people realize they are very happy with each other and don't want to keep looking for anyone else, this then is a commited relationship. At your age, this kind of relationship doesnt last too long, months sometimes, or maybe up to a year. The option of dating is to learn something from each person you like and date and improve on that with the next person. You also need to discover what you don't like about a guy.
So when you first have a guy say he likes you, if you are remotely interested, then say you have interest in him too but need to spend more time with him to get to know him and decide if you like him enough to want to go from just friends, to BF/GF. You also let him know at the beginning what boundaries you will not allow to be crossed, cus if he does, you'll break up. Take control like this in the beginning and you shouldnt have any reason to worry, fear or stop liking a guy.
Here's an example of setting a boundary: If we're going to be BF-GF, I want to say that I expect you to honor my wishes and boundaries I discuss as things come up, and treat me like a lady. For anything else we aren't sure about, I will ask you questions when I am not sure what you mean and I want you to do the same.
Remember, a boy is a human with feelings too that can be hurt. Don't treat him in any way you wouldn't want him to treat you. You do realize that if it wasn't you having commitment issues, then if the guy liked you and stopped liking you, back and forth, You'd get tired of putting up with that yourself.
All teens just starting the dating thing have no experience, everyone starts somewhere. It's okay to not know how to go about it and that shouldn't keep you from trying.
Perhaps you've seen other kids break up or have witnessed your parents or other adult couples with difficulties or who break up. Just because they have issues does not mean you will. You may not have had a good example growing up to model your behavior after when it comes to getting into a friendship or relationship with a guy, but you can't always read up on it on the net, in books, watch dating and relationship video on the net. PUt in a phrase like "dating do's and don'ts for girls" You'll be able to tell who video is just silly goofing off stuff, or someone who is a true relationship expert with many helpful videos.
Good luck dear. If you have anything more on this you wish to share or discuss, just write me.
So I was on "BuzzFeed" and I saw a quiz titled "What can you learn from your star sign today?". Here are the questions it asked:
- Which day of the week is it?
- What Starsign are you?
- Which birthstone is yours?
- Which day is your birthday on?
- Which month is your birthday in?
- Have you had lunch today?
The results said I'm pregnant and I got really scared by it. Is it just a stupid test? I've never had sex before. I'm just a teenager.
Your right, its just a stupid, poorly done test.
I have come across a few quizzes that really take apart all the minute differences of a persons personality from a true Psychological standpoint to come up with something like, "What Star Wars character are you most like?" I can already tell by the questions on a quiz I open whether its stupid or has some thought and reality put into it.
A true astrology reading does not rely just on your month and date of birth but birth year and exact time of birth and location where you were born to start. Questions such as Which day of the week is it? and Have you had lunch today? and Which birthstone is yours? are totally irrelevant to determining your birthchart reading. An personal astrology chart is not ever a prediction of what will happen but rather a reflection of what the positions and alignments of the planets at a particular point in time are and how their position may affect how you make choices, warn you of when you may experience more stress in your life or when is a good time frame in which you may experience great personal growth for example. Things like the future aspects that may affect you in a positive or negative way only do depending if you end up doing or not doing anything as the circumstance arise. Exactly what those circumstances are, are not predicted.
Hope this explains it all to you.
its my bfs first reltnshp with a gal and he is immature to some extend.. we have been together for 1 yr 5 mnths.i always knew he wanted a breakup because we fight a lot and he is fed up of those fights. its our possessiveness that is causing those fights.. i knew he wanted to breakup so i only told him that lets breakup because i know you want to be free. he asked me whether il be his only after a breakup so i replied that i wont be anyone's after this breakup then he got sad.. he wants to come back but he says its not the right age. so that day itself he told me that i want to continue this relationship. what should i do? we go through many breakups n those breakups hurt me. should i give it a last try?
If you have a different plan in place, in attempt to heal whats wrong with the relationship, then go ahead and try again. If you have no plan to do anything different but just get together, then no it's not worth the time because the results will be the same as before.
If you want to go into more detail and give some examples of what you see going wrong like the 'possessiveness" you mention and whatever else, I just might be able to come up with suggestions of what to try to do differently if you do choose to get back together again. Cant promise anything dear, but if you feel its worth a try, let me know.
23f I was in a relationship(1yr) in which both my ex and I changed. Jealousy came into our lives and pretty much destroyed the girl I was. I became chaotic, suicidal, angry all the time. He became cocky and felt superior to me. One day I decided to stop all contact, because I knew it wasn't healthy to be that way. I left and never looked back, it was the only way I could leave, I felt I couldnt do it if I told him, and he would try to stop me, I would give in, and we would be going at it again. Its been over 2yrs and in moments I remember, and it breaks my heart that I left with out a word. But I feel like I am still in love, and that I won't feel that special feeling we had once. Ive have bf before and didnt feel this way after we broke up. But I havent been in a relationship ever since. Im scared that I will be the same way. Become chaotic, jealous and suicidal. Am I obessed? Could I still be in love? Or does this always happen when you break up without closure? Is there anything I could do to help move away from this feeling?
When we are in a romantic love relationship, deep feelings can develop that cause an emotional attachment. When we become physical with someone it might mean that these emotional attachments just grow stronger. Although you or the other person could develop feelings that the other doesn't have. You did not say this was the issue so I will assume both of you have feelings of love.
To answer whether it may be Love or Obession, I will start with explaining a bit about emotions. Our subconscious mind is where all our emotions are stored.
Our subconscious is more like our inner child, and as a child prone to make childish decisions and actions based on the emotion at the time. Our conscious minds are more the adult and logic based. Our 2 minds need to work together for a person to be truly happy and at peace, compromising as needed.
Surprisingly, Jealousy, is not an emotion. Jealousy is nothing more than an warning light, like an indicator light on the dashboard of your car to draw your attention to something that needs to be taken care of for the car to run well.
For a relationship to 'run well', there are things that must be addressed too if jealousy crops up. What those things are, can vary.
In most cases, I have heard that the emotion behind jealousy is FEAR. a Fear of loss is the most common. I didn't know this stuff when I was your age. We kinda learn this over time as we get older. So, like myself at your age, females often find themselves experiencing jealousy when it comes to a guy they are with. We fear losing him to another girl. So the next step would be to figure out why we fear losing him to another girl.
If he just looks at another girl or talks to her and we feel jealousy, is it fear or anger. Anger that this other girl has something we don't to catch his attention? Then we are comparing ourselves. Or fearful at the same time that he might find and like something in another girl better, enough to make him leave us. This is a common feeling to occur in everyone.
The only difference is the health of our thought processes regarding the feeling. I can admit to having "stinking thinking" at times in my life. I still see it try to sneak into my mind and I am now grandma age. When the fear crops up, if you dwell on it and feed it, it will take over and control you and cause you to behave unreasonably out of these emotions of fear of loss that your subconscious is reacting to, which your conscious mind did not deal with the moment they showed up.
How to deal with it? You basically have to give yourself pep talks. If you are with a truly good guy and he isn't doing anything to cause you to have doubts in his love for you, then positive statements you make in your head or out loud to yourself will help. Example: He looked at that girl at bit longer than a casual glance. He must think she has something I don't have and wants someone like her instead. Your response to that thought: Thats silly, if he wanted that girl, he'd go after her. He is attracted to me for many reasons and I am the one he prefers to spend time with, he's the one cuddling with and kissing me.
You did mention his behavior being cocky and superior. So perhaps he wasn't behaving in a way that would build up your confidence in how special you are to him? A woman needs to hear that, be built up with positive affirmations and compliments from her guy.
Some people can handle working through whatever insecurities they have on their own, others may need some help from a counselor/psychologist. If I were you, I'd try on my own first.
The feelings you still may have for him are subconscious, where the emotions are, remember. And the subconscious doesnt always follow logic. So whatever decisions your conscious mind makes such as leaving without notice and not looking back, it doesnt mean your two minds are on the same page. Just because you still have these feelings doesn't necessarily mean you are still in love. I once got to see an old boyfriend after 3 years had gone by with him deciding on another woman over me. The feelings I still had for him while we were apart, were not the same once I had a chance to run into him and rekindle old times. I felt that spark was missing and I could see his shortcomings more clearly now and realized that the feelings I thought I had were based more on the good parts of past memories, rather than total reality. It can differ for others. Not trying to predict for you. Just saying that you really may never know why you feel something still. An obsession can be more like the stalking thing, in person, or on the computer via tumblr, twitter, facebook, snapchat, etc...., thinking about him all day long to the point it interferes with you being able to concentrate on daily tasks. Obsession doesn't care about the other persons feelings and choice, and just wants to force the situation so the other ends up pressured into being with you. If Feelings of depression is not in other areas, just regarding this relationship, then you do not have clinical depression and can take care of it yourself by doing things that raise the levels of feel good hormones and neuro transmitters in your brain. If interested, let me know and I'll share that list with you. Focus on yourself for a while. Become as whole and confident as possible before your next relationship. If the guy is a good well balanced man, then the relationship should turn out well.
i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and whne hes with me he can be nice he can be mean he does buy me things and takes me out. But he refuses to drink when I'm there but he'll go out to parties with his freinds when my friends are there and drink with them! It's just wierd hes started lying to me about my friends being there and they post pictures I know they are there! I don't mind him having a night with his friends but hes out drinking with my friends he never invites me and he refuses to drink when I'm there. Why? Is he hiding something. Next weekend we are going out with his freinds from work but hes willing to drink then? Its just i get anoyed when he goes out partying with my friends he never invites me and it isolates me i'm not bothered that my friends are girls but I am bothered that hes drinking and having a laugh with them and he doesnt with me. He says I always get mad but he lies to me how can I trust him when he lies to me and he isolates ,e from his friends. I'd be happy for him to have a lads night but if other couples are going why can't I come. I've not spoken to him since last night when he went out he says I'm in the wrong for being upset by that but I know I'm not its wierd him going out drinking with MY friends like wtf. Ant advice on what to do here?
I don't blame you for questioning his behavior. It is not the way a guy acts who has deep feelings for his girl or is in love with his girl. A man in love wants to be near his lady as much as possible to just enjoy her nearness and company, even if they aren't doing anything special.
It is entirely possible that your suspicion is correct that he is hiding something. It may be a hiding of something he's doing, or hiding something else that all we can do is guess at.
There may be nothing wrong and all you need is to have a good convo and discuss things. Ask why he wont drink with you.
Here's another angle to look at it from. If he's not inviting your friends but they happen to show up where he's at, he may deny being there if someone else present doesn't want you to show up and he doesn't want your feelings hurt. I know thats a wild idea, but you really never know unless you ask and he is being truthful with his answer. He may never feel comfortable sharing the truth because guys fear girls getting overly emotional and reacting with lots of anger or tears and they just don't know how to handle that. If you prefer to hear the truth, no matter how bad it is, you may have to assure him that you really want to know and promise you won't get over emotional in your responses to what he shares. I hope this applies to your situation and helps. If I didn't understand this right, let me know in other words what the problem is. Good luck dear.
14/f and I'm actually anorexic and people who are anorexic usually lose their period. So I haven't had mind for a year but I had it prior to that and it's always been irregular. I never get cramps either or any pain from it. Then I got it 21 days ago and I still have it.. Is this normal?
My question would be wondering if you've been diagnosed by a doctor or if your parents have questioned or know of your anorexia.
It is hard for someone living with a person who gains or loses weight to notice the difference when the tiny bits of weight difference are spread out over weeks and months and even years. So your parents may not have become aware of this.
Since you are asking if it's normal, I can only answer that for a non anorexic girl... yes a period will be all over the place...inconsistant but missing for a year means something is wrong.
I can't say if its due to the anorexia or not.
Is it normal for an anorexic girl to lose their periods, and for how long? Well, since I dont know anyone anorexic I went surfing the web where people asked questions like yours. The answers I saw from professionals and other girls is that you continue to not have periods as long as you remain anorexic. Those who overcame anorexia and began to 'eat normally ' (even though they hate that term) found that once their weight was back up, it took at least a year to get periods back. Once back, the periods came monthly but were much lighter, like spotting for a while. No one mentioned starting a period while still being anorexic. I don't think you'll find it easy to get a definite answer to your question anywhere other than a doctor familiar with your medical history and/or a doctor who gives your a current exam. If you think you may ever want to have even just one child someday in the future, then it might be best to see a professional to rule out anything more serious being wrong (other than anorexia) even if you feel no pain or cramps. If you won't go to your parents with this and see a family doctor, since your concern is of a reproductive system issue, you could been seen in private at Planned Parenthood. They don't just hand out contraceptives and birthcontrol but handle screening for disease and other issues. If its something they can't handle they may refer you to a gynecologist doctor. According to Hippa law they have to keep anything about the reason you are there private. Your parents don't have to know unless you want them to.
i m 22 year old my periods are not regular before it came 8 months now it came a after 4 months an i get manstupation every day is this natural pl z give me advice
No, this isn't normal. It is for teens and usually by 18, 19 a gal becomes more regular in her cycle.
Perhaps if you were extremely late to begin going through puberty, such as not until 17 or 18, then this may still be part of the same thing younger girls go through.
It's okay to be a late bloomer if thats all that happens to be the case with you and doesnt mean anything is wrong with you.
But if you went through puberty earlier, your cycle should be following a normal monthly schedule by now. The only thing to do is see a doctor to get a checkup to discover what is delaying it.
If you're not experiencing pain or other discomfort, it may not be anything serious but its better to see a professional than just guess.
It may be as simple as your hormones being too low for your body to function normally in a monthly period. If anything can be done to correct this, best you find out now and get it taken care of as whatever is not working right now may prevent you from being able to become pregnant easily in the future if not treated.
Good luck!
Can we wear below the knee capris in deli
Thanks for your question. I don't know what someone else would interpret this to mean. Its short enough with little info that I can only guess that you are an employee at the deli place.
With summer coming I am sure you are wondering what summer wear is appropriate for a deli.
If this wasn't covered when you were hired or you've forgotten, the best thing to do is to ask your boss, supervisor.
I can't begin to even guess if it is okay with the dress codes of this Deli for employees.
I have worked enough jobs in my life that I have had to wear uniforms for one, black or navy blue tops and pants of my choice for another, an office where flip flops, spaghetti straps, dress hemlines over the knee, t shirts, jeans were not allowed but everything else if clean and not torn was ok, and a job where casual wear was the only appropriate thing to wear, just jeans and tees were the best. Good luck.