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About a teacher


Question Posted Monday May 26 2014, 7:57 am

Recently i got a new teacher and i find him really odd(not sure if he is flirty). the way he talks to me is different. He stares at me while taking class. He even comes and sits near me if the desk is empty. And i usually sit in the first bench so he pulls his chair and puts it near my bench and sits. he also stares at me. Mostly i dont look at him i put my face down when he is near. He doesnt look at my face alone while teaching or clearing doubt. i feel very uncomfortable. even if i have doubt in the subject i feel uncomfortable to ask him. he is married and 30+.

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victorhope answered Saturday May 31 2014, 1:01 am:
he may truly develop interest in you but it may not be dating interest, it may be academic interest may he thinks you intelligent. just be free till he prove otherwise

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misspiggy answered Monday May 26 2014, 4:45 pm:
He has not done anything wrong.

That being said, trust your gut. Avoid him when possible.

From Moi to you,

Miss Piggy

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Dragonflymagic answered Monday May 26 2014, 1:56 pm:
He may not have done anything that he could be called on as being inappropriate for a teacher. So saying that he is flirting with you can't really be proven.

What I believe is happening is that your natural 'female's intuition' is kicking into gear. You may not have noticed it as much before but it can start when females go through puberty. The more mature and grounded a person a female is, she can notice this early in life. Males can have intuition but more often it's found in almost all of females at some point.
So what you are likely picking up on is his basic thought focus, his feelings and desires and picking up on the energy he is sending out. It is not anything that can be seen by another human, only picked up on and felt by something people call our 6th sense. It's quite normal to be able to pick up on things like this. If you are feeling things like this with him and no one else, then as Adviceman said, likely "where theres smoke, there is fire" meaning you are very likely to have picked up on this correctly.
You are safe in class. End of the year is soon. Just make sure to never allow yourself to be alone with him for a moment, such as if he asks you to stay after class so he can talk to you.
Very unlikely. But good thing to keep in mind.

Its also a good thing to talk to mom about since shes a female with intuition too. She'll understand and may have some words of suggestion for you.
Just so you know, your description of what he does do, creeped me out and I am in my fifties.

If I took a night class of any sort, even just for something fun and a male teacher did that to me, at my age, I can ignore the looks. After all, lots of men will look at females, just the good majority try not to get caught doing it, or try to be subtle about it. It's not a crime to look, and you can't control if he is fantasizing or turned on either. It's bad manners of him to blatantly look at you as he does, and thats enough to have a parent talk to the principal about to get you switched to another class (as has been already suggested although its close to end of year so they may not) Or if you are an adult, for you to go to administration about and ask to be switched.

Where I would draw the line is a man placing himself in my personal space. This is something humans subconsciously do when single and in the mode of searching for someone to date. We tend to use certain body language to determine if a person likes us. Boys your age have probably done this too...what I am talking about is walking up to you to stand really close or sit really close.

What is considered really close is if you or he could raise your arm and almost be able to touch each other. Thats being in someones personal space. When attracted, girls and guys will approach the person they like and if the person remains standing where they are, they are subconsciously attracted to you in return. If the person approached steps away or moves away to create more distance between themselves and the other person, then they are not attracted and feel uncomfortable. Stuck at your desk, you are unable to move further away from him when he approaches. He may not be aware that he is actually doing this since its a subconscious thing. But there are others who have studied the subject enough and are aware. If he is aware and doing this, he should be told to stop. If he's unaware, he needs to be made aware of it and be asked nicely to stop.

Since you do not know which of the two situations apply to him, you'd have to take the position of him 'not being aware' if you choose to speak up on this.
You don't have to say anything dear. But if you choose to at least say something to him next time he doesnt come into your personal space, here's a sample of what I would say.

Mr. Walker, I am sure you are unaware that you are doing this but often you come stand or sit really close to me in my personal space. I do not feel comfortable with you being that close. Could you please stop doing that?
Thats all you need to say. If he asks for clarification, you can say that too close is being almost able to touch your shoulder if he reached out an arm with a few inches gap. If he is well outside of that distance, he is not out of line and I would not say anything.

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adviceman49 answered Monday May 26 2014, 8:45 am:
From what you have written I cannot say that the teacher is doing anything wrong, unless of course he is flirting and you are just not understanding of his flirts. One thing is for sure is that you have no reason to feel uncomfortable in his class and if the attention you feel you are receiving from him is making you uncomfortable then something must be done. Even this close to the end of the school year there are things you can do:

1: Talk with your parents and tell them what is going on in class with this teacher and tell them how it makes you feel. (this is the best way to handle this by letting your parents handle it)

2. You can go to the head of the department for which he is a teacher and ask for a change of class. Of course you will need to tell the department head why you want to change classes so close to the end of the year.

3. You can go directly to your school principal and ask for a change of class. Once again you will be asked why and you will have to give a reason.

From my point of view whether the flirting is real or imagined on your part you have a right to be comfortable in all of your classes. Being a firefighter for many years I am also of the opinion that where there is smoke there is fire. Meaning if you feel he is flirting with you then there is a good chance he is being inappropriate with his attention toward you.

This is why I suggest you speak with your parents. Your telling your principal how you feel should be enough to get you a change of class. Having your parents go to school making the request almost guarantees a change of class for you.

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Razhie answered Monday May 26 2014, 8:32 am:
Stop sitting in the front of the class.

It's impossible from your question to determine if this teacher is, in fact, doing anything even the slightest bit wrong! They may simply have a different manner than you are used too and comfortable with. Your question isn't even clear - I'm not sure if you feel he is looking at you too much, or not at all. I'm not even entirely sure if you worry he is flirting with you, or if you have a crush on him.

Either way, no matter what you gender or situation is, when you sit in the very first row it sends the teacher a message that you are willing to engage with them more than the average student. Many teachers 'play', or deliver their message to the first row or first few rows, because that is where they find the most receptive and attentive students (and everyone wants to feel they are being listened too!)

So, simply move back. If there is no real issue here, that will probably address your discomfort. If you'd like to be less close to him, just move yourself further away.

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