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My Sister and the Bikini problem
My parents have left me in charge at home while they are away of my sister 15 and brother 12.
Yesterday I caught my sister wearing a bikini(sliding triangle top and small side tying bottoms)that she is not supposed to have and taking SELFIES of herself in it, that she was going to send to the guy that bought the bikini for her that is nearly as old as me.
What do I do
1. Give her the bikini back, pretend I know nothing about it and possibly land myself in trouble if my parents find out about the bikini.
2. Keep the bikini give it to my parents on their return and tell them about the SELFIES and the guy, my sister will be in big trouble.
3. Give my sister a chance but insist the bikini is destroyed as part of the deal.
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The bikini is her possession. It's up to your parents to decide whether she is allowed to have it. You need to make them aware of it and step back and allow them to parent.
You should tel your sister that the bikini is hers and may be okay with your parents but that taking pictures in it and sending to random people could be really dumb and illegal if she's a minor and recipients are adults. You need to fill her in on how dangerous that can be. Then tell your folks. They need to know. Make absolutely no deals with her and destroy nothing. Let your parents take it from there.
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I was the oldest and always left in charge no matter what age my siblings were. As teens or pre teens it became more difficult to enforce any boundaries or family rules/laws that there were.
You did not mention if the parents have any rules regarding what the girls in the family can wear as appropriate sunning or swim wear. Since you are older, most likely they have already sharedd such limitations with you. If they did give you such a boundary regarding swimwear, then the same should apply to her. If 2 pieces is okay but no string bikini is okay...then there is a problem. If the parents never had to give you such a rule because you were smarter at that age, then they may not have ever said anything to her. That was often a case for me. I was the easy child so it never occured to them that the other children might do something that I knew full well they'd have issues with even though they hadn't spelled it out.
Since you say sis will be in big trouble, I am guessing there are some rules, whether its about what she wears, restrictions on who she can date or rules about not sending selfies of inappropriate nature or all 3. Since you are left in charge and its the parents job to discipline her, the only thing you can do is hold on to the bikini and her phone with the pics on them to give to and show parents. If you were a mom, wouldn't you want someone to tell you if your teen daughter were doing something like this?
Many teens do something in bad taste or really stupid that can hurt them, cause lots of trouble or even in extreme cases, kill them, all because their minds are still not fully done growing as their bodys are, the mind is not yet mature and so they're incapable of looking ahead to possible consequences and making good decisions. She may otherwise be a good kid but just making a bad decision here. So my choice is number 2, keep the bikini but also keep the cell phone cus she could erase the photos to stay out of trouble. She could try to explain away the bikini saying a girlfriend gave it to her and she didn't want to hurt her friends feelings so she accepted it and totally deny taking selfies to send to an older guy if the pics were gone.
I never liked having that position of being the enforcer of the rules while the parents were out. I know how upset the siblings can get with you but you don't drop the adhering to rules just to remain on a siblings good side. She'll be angry with you. It also won't last. Once she matures a bit if she does hold a grudge for now, she'll eventually see that you were doing the right thing. Good luck !
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If your parents have left you home in charge of the care and safety of your sister and your brother. This means they are trusting you to act in their place while they are away, within certain limits, meaning you can't beat them, spank them or harm them in any way as a form of discipline. You can enforce other types of discipline such as grounding them, going to bed early or no TV and your sister and brother must abide by what you say.
In this instance you take the Bikini away and give it to you mom when she returns. You cannot and should not punish her for having the Bikini as it was a gift to her. What you should punish her for is the taking of the selfies in the Bikini, make sure she understands what she is being punished for. At 15 she should be aware of how dangerous sending these types of pictures to boyfriends or even other girl friends can be. If she does not understand then explain it to her. Make sure the pictures have been deleted from her camera. Then consider grounding her until your parents return.
All of the above is within the limits of the authority and trust your parents have placed in you while they are away.
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Tell your parents.
Unless you think your parents are going beat her, or abuse her, then tell them. She is 15, keeping her safe is your parents business and their job. Whenever she can't do that herself, they have to step in.
She is not entitled, at 15, to a 'private life'. She gets the privilege of the private life, so long as she can act responsibly.
What she did may see simple enough - even relatively normal and innocent - and maybe your parents rules against bikinis aren't really fair, but what she did can get dangerous quickly and even illegal. It can leave her open to bullying and abuse from other people and if communication with an older guy is happening completely behind your parent's backs, that only makes it more likely she'll be taken advantage of or treated poorly. When a person who likes to prey on young people knows those young people can't go to their parents for help, they know they can get away with a hell of lot. If you parents aren't monsters, than give them the information they need to be effective parents.
The only case where I would even consider not telling my very reasonable parents about this sort of thing, would be if my little sister expressed a whole lot of regret, and promised me to never put herself in that kind of danger with a strange guy ever again. If your sister can't see why this was a deeply unwise choice from speaking to you about it, then let your parents help her out with that. When she can't show good judgement, it's your parents job to step in and show her what good judgement looks like. When she is 18 she can pose for as many photos as she'd like, as naked as the day she was born and there is little anyone can do to stop her. For now, she can't.
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I personally think number 1.
You shouldn't purposely get your sister in trouble. I think its nice you're worried she'll experience something bad from sending bikini selfies to a guy, but if she does, its her problem, not yours (unless she asks for help) and she'll have learnt the lesson.
No need to destroy a perfectly good bikini- she may want to just go buy another for summer anyway.
If you get in trouble for not telling on her, tell them you didn't want to interfere with what is HER business, she's 15! Its a coming of age thing nowadays (though it shouldn't be) She's going to learn that boys will not respect a girl who easily sends pictures. She'll learn. Talk to her, but not the parents You'd better be thankful she had the bikini on! I know girls younger than her who've done worse.
So, tell her you know, warn her, but don't tell on her. You shouldn't be getting in trouble for not saying anything.
Give her a chance...but whats destroying the bikini going to do, really? Not much.
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