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I need major help I'm such an over thinker
I'm driving myself litterally inane someone please help 16/f I overreact idk is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to other girls as friends and hangout with them on weekends if he's with his friends and his friends invite the girls? Or if he tweets them and was like had a great day wih you guys. I'm just such an over thinker and it's because I love him so much and we are very serious with each other. Also is it true that the newness of a relationship wears off after a couple months ? My mom said it did numerous times like all of the lovey dovey things wear off some because of getting used to each other please help me please thank you I do give stars
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yes, it's normal for your boyfriend to talk to other girls and hang out with them as friends.
Yes, your mom is right. The butterflies go away after awhile. But that doesn't mean you guys stop liking each other and all that.
You're still learning about relationships. So it's ok to not know what's ok and what's not ok.
He's allowed to be friends with girls and talk to them as a friends. Just like you're allowed to talk to boys and be friends with them. There is nothing wrong with that at all.
A lot of girls struggle with this because of jealousy and insecurity. It eventually ruins the relationship.
So don't keep overthinking it. Just accept that he will be friends with girls and you have no control over that area of his life. As long as he is faithful to you, everything is fine.
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Adviceman gave a great answer, it's the same for me and hubby with each others friends.
Another support for your moms answer. I have heard it refered to as New Relationship Energy. From what I have experienced, with first husband, after it wore off, the ex and I were left with what we'd really have for a connection, we had no spark for each other at all and yet stayed together. I was young and dumb. I am remarried 5 yrs now. Yes there was NRE with my 2nd, but when it settled down to our normal love and sexual spark and desires, they were still high and it's a very good relationship.
Just don't want you to fear this change in the beginning of any relationship you experience in life. It is actually important, to know if there is something strong enough still there to last a life long relationship.
Are you an over thinker? If this is the only situation you think so much about and dont do it in other areas, then probably not.
Dating and relationships is new ground for you. There will be much you aren't sure about and mistakes made but hopefully lots of things learned too. So wondering and thinking it out and guessing at all the possibilities is quite normal. As you gain experience in life in this area of relationships, you won't find yourself worrying as much but trusting your own instincts.
I don't know how long you have been with this guy, but after a longer amount of time of knowing and observing him, it should become obvious whether he is naturally friendly and comfortable talking to people of any sex and whether when he talks to them, there is an intent to flirt or not. Trust me, if you observe, and combined with your own womens intuition, eventually you'll learn to pick up on things like that which can't be proven by evidence.
My husband is comfortable with speaking to women. He is an empath and able to pick up on when people need a friendly affirmation of some sort and will do so for men and females alike. Its just funny to watch him do it with females when I am there. He has a great interest in jewelery and precious stones and has an artist background. Often he might compliment a lady on her necklace, and address her by her name from tag and I had never seen women mistake his talking to them as flirting. Only one in our 5 yrs, she looked immediately uncomfortable and in fear glanced at me expecting me to explode in anger and jealousy. I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing at the poor womans tortured expression. Give it some more time and you should be able to see that he is naturally a friendly people person and there is no interest in the other girls.
The key here is that he is paying you plenty of attention at the same time. If that disappears totally, only then is there reason to be concerned.
Good luck.
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Yes your mother is correct. Just like everything else in life the glamor of new love wears off after awhile as you get more comfortable with each other. Just as it does with a new dress or a new cell phone.
As for your boyfriend talking to other girls or tweeting them. I see no reason why he cannot talk to other girls or interact with them as a friend. Just as it is perfectly okay for you to talk to other boys and to interact with them as friends. Just because you are in a relationship with someone does not mean you become a social hermit.
I will be married for 43 years come next month. It has never been unusual for me to answer the phone and it be a friend of my wife's and for the two of us to talk and joke before I give the phone to my wife. The same is true for my wife if she answers the phone and it's one of my friends. In fact when I'm out of town and my wife has a problem that needs a mans help I expect her to call one of my friends for help. Just as they expect their wives to go me of I'm home and there not.
The only difference between you situation and mine is you want your boyfriend to go out with you at night or with you only on a date. My wife and I expect that we sleep only in our bed together and not with anyone else. With the exception of those nights I'm out of town I have not slept in any other bed then with my wife. when I am out of town she knows and trusts that I am alone in that hotel bed and I am.
Don't start you love life as a jealous women. You both can have friends of the opposite sex. This is the time when you learn how to trust one another. Maybe you marry this boy but most likely you will not. What you will learn now is how to trust so when you do find Mr. right you will know that even though he may talk or even flirt with other women. The only bed he sleeps in is your.
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