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Boyfriend isolating me.
i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and whne hes with me he can be nice he can be mean he does buy me things and takes me out. But he refuses to drink when I'm there but he'll go out to parties with his freinds when my friends are there and drink with them! It's just wierd hes started lying to me about my friends being there and they post pictures I know they are there! I don't mind him having a night with his friends but hes out drinking with my friends he never invites me and he refuses to drink when I'm there. Why? Is he hiding something. Next weekend we are going out with his freinds from work but hes willing to drink then? Its just i get anoyed when he goes out partying with my friends he never invites me and it isolates me i'm not bothered that my friends are girls but I am bothered that hes drinking and having a laugh with them and he doesnt with me. He says I always get mad but he lies to me how can I trust him when he lies to me and he isolates ,e from his friends. I'd be happy for him to have a lads night but if other couples are going why can't I come. I've not spoken to him since last night when he went out he says I'm in the wrong for being upset by that but I know I'm not its wierd him going out drinking with MY friends like wtf. Ant advice on what to do here?
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One thing to consider is that maybe he only drinks to please his friends. Maybe he prefers not to drink, but when he is around them he feels pressured. Maybe with you he prefers to chill without alcohol and just relax or be romantic.
But more likely, it sounds as though he is flirting around with other girls behind your back. He probably doesn't want you to know about this because he knows it would make you upset.
He is acting inappropriately. You should insist on him inviting you if other girls are there. Like you said, a guys night is fine, but if other girls are there he should want you there too! Do not let this go. He needs to understand that what he is doing is hurting you.
It's guys like this that made me want to take up karate.
Miss Piggy
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Yes, i agree with dragonfly here. It sounds like there may be more to this then what your getting.
Dragonfly might be totally right about needing to just get on the same page with your boyfriend and letting him know that he can tell you anything without fear of getting a horrible response and that your a big girl and can take it.
I want to toss in here, that isolating anyone from their friends and or family is also a form of psychological abuse. Im not saying that your man is doing it, but it IS a very common thing for boyfriends and girlfriends to not want their significant other to EVER hang out with their friends again once your an official couple even if youve known the person "since forever" and you know your just strictly friends and nothing more.
I lost many friends because their i was friends with their significant other who happened to be a different gender then me. This is a huge grey area for alot of couples because insecurities can definitely come into play here. So make sure that hes not trying to actually isolate you from any of your friends. they are yours and yours alone. Its still your life no matter what your relationship status is with someone else. dont EVER let a man try to tell you who you can and cannot be friends with. this same things goes both ways in a relationship unless you know for sure the "friend" is trying to make moves on your signif. then its really not fair to try to force them to not have quality time with that person.
Just have a good deep talk with your man, and really try to get on the same page when it comes to this issue. good luck sweetie ; )
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I don't blame you for questioning his behavior. It is not the way a guy acts who has deep feelings for his girl or is in love with his girl. A man in love wants to be near his lady as much as possible to just enjoy her nearness and company, even if they aren't doing anything special.
It is entirely possible that your suspicion is correct that he is hiding something. It may be a hiding of something he's doing, or hiding something else that all we can do is guess at.
There may be nothing wrong and all you need is to have a good convo and discuss things. Ask why he wont drink with you.
Here's another angle to look at it from. If he's not inviting your friends but they happen to show up where he's at, he may deny being there if someone else present doesn't want you to show up and he doesn't want your feelings hurt. I know thats a wild idea, but you really never know unless you ask and he is being truthful with his answer. He may never feel comfortable sharing the truth because guys fear girls getting overly emotional and reacting with lots of anger or tears and they just don't know how to handle that. If you prefer to hear the truth, no matter how bad it is, you may have to assure him that you really want to know and promise you won't get over emotional in your responses to what he shares. I hope this applies to your situation and helps. If I didn't understand this right, let me know in other words what the problem is. Good luck dear.
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